The Official Joke thread

Mission_Safari · 24th October 2008, 13:22

From a mail forward..

gendarmee · 25th October 2008, 00:32

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windsurfer · 27th October 2008, 18:37

In a small town in India, a person decided to open up his Bar business,
which was right opposite to the Temple. The Temple & its congregation
started a campaign to block the Bar from opening with petitions and prayed
daily against his business.
Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to
open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the Bar and it was burnt
to the ground.

The temple folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the Bar owner sued the Temple authorities on the grounds that the Temple through its congregation & prayers was ultimately responsible for the demise of his bar shop, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

In its reply to the court, the temple vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons to the bar shop's demise.

As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented:

I don't know how I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the
paperwork,

'we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer

and

we have an entire temple and its devotees that doesn't.'

srijit · 29th October 2008, 19:29

I have altered the pool

The Official Joke thread-421223368_ed120ddfd2.jpg

ramki067 · 30th October 2008, 09:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by srijit

I have altered the pool
Attachment 64879

sorry, but i didn't get the joke!

Eddy · 30th October 2008, 12:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by ramki067

sorry, but i didn't get the joke!

Neither did I.

Condor: Can you explain this one

Sam Kapasi · 30th October 2008, 12:33

Here is a video you must see. Enough said.

CNNBC video

greenhorn · 30th October 2008, 12:34

its based on a famous darth vader dialog

ankitahuja · 30th October 2008, 15:32

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can cheers:, 2 were on the phone."

tarunmadhok · 30th October 2008, 16:00

Little Johnny asks his mother how old she is.

Her reply is, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."

Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs.

Again the mother's reply is, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."

The boy then asks, "Why did daddy leave you?"

To this, the mother says, "You shouldn't ask that," and then sends him to his room.

On the way to his room, the boy trips over his mother's purse. When he picks it up, her driver's license falls out.

Little Johnny looks it over and goes back to his mother saying, "I know all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and daddy left you because you got an 'F' in sex!!!"

tarunmadhok · 30th October 2008, 16:02

The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting... on a Saturday morning... after breakfast...

Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office.

Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone.

Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile.

Maid: So - what is the problem? We all use our work telephones !!!!!

srijit · 31st October 2008, 13:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eddy

Neither did I.

Condor: Can you explain this one

Quote:

Originally Posted by ramki067

sorry, but i didn't get the joke!

Quote:

Originally Posted by greenhorn

its based on a famous darth vader dialog

Baby standing in a swimming pool. No sign of a diaper. Talking about having "modified" the water. Warning of further "modification".

mobike008 · 31st October 2008, 13:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by srijit

Baby standing in a swimming pool. No sign of a diaper. Talking about having "modified" the water. Warning of further "modification".

I think i fall in the stupid category, i still couldnt get the joke

SLK · 31st October 2008, 13:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by mobike008

I think i fall in the stupid category, i still couldnt get the joke

So you think you are in the same category as the joke itself?

Eddy · 31st October 2008, 14:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by srijit

Baby standing in a swimming pool. No sign of a diaper. Talking about having "modified" the water. Warning of further "modification".

Ah... thanks Sri

@Mobike: Well, the baby has just contaminated the water and can do further damage, he is not wearing a diaper

24th October 2008, 13:22	#3271
Mission_Safari BHPian Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Chennai Posts: 449 Thanked: 6 Times	From a mail forward.. Attached Thumbnails Attached Images

27th October 2008, 18:37	#3273
windsurfer BHPian Join Date: May 2006 Location: Dundee, UK Posts: 513 Thanked: 25 Times	A Difficult Judgment In a small town in India, a person decided to open up his Bar business, which was right opposite to the Temple. The Temple & its congregation started a campaign to block the Bar from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business. Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the Bar and it was burnt to the ground. The temple folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the Bar owner sued the Temple authorities on the grounds that the Temple through its congregation & prayers was ultimately responsible for the demise of his bar shop, either through direct or indirect actions or means. In its reply to the court, the temple vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons to the bar shop's demise. As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented: I don't know how I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, 'we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer and we have an entire temple and its devotees that doesn't.'

29th October 2008, 19:29	#3274
srijit BHPian Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Trivandrum Posts: 598 Thanked: 8 Times	I have altered the pool I have altered the pool

30th October 2008, 12:33	#3277
Sam Kapasi Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Mumbai (but wat Posts: 6,997 Thanked: 2,378 Times View My Garage	Here is a video you must see. Enough said. CNNBC video Last edited by Sam Kapasi : 30th October 2008 at 12:37.

30th October 2008, 15:32	#3279
ankitahuja BHPian Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Gurgaon Posts: 921 Thanked: 94 Times View My Garage	Sex Of A Fly A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" She asked. "Hunting Flies" He responded. "Oh. Killing any?" She asked. "Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?" He responded, "3 were on a beer can cheers:, 2 were on the phone."

25th October 2008, 00:32	#3272
gendarmee BHPian Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: India Posts: 741 Thanked: 28 Times	Be cautious of Facebook Skiving Aussie fingered on Facebook ? The Register

30th October 2008, 12:34	#3278
greenhorn Senior - BHPian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: KL-01 Posts: 7,744 Thanked: 4,387 Times View My Garage	its based on a famous darth vader dialog

30th October 2008, 16:00	#3280
tarunmadhok BHPian Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Chandigarh Posts: 182 Thanked: 2 Times	"F" in Sex ! Little Johnny asks his mother how old she is. Her reply is, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question." Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs. Again the mother's reply is, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question." The boy then asks, "Why did daddy leave you?" To this, the mother says, "You shouldn't ask that," and then sends him to his room. On the way to his room, the boy trips over his mother's purse. When he picks it up, her driver's license falls out. Little Johnny looks it over and goes back to his mother saying, "I know all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and daddy left you because you got an 'F' in sex!!!"

30th October 2008, 16:02	#3281
tarunmadhok BHPian Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Chandigarh Posts: 182 Thanked: 2 Times	Work Telephones The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting... on a Saturday morning... after breakfast... Dad: People this is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the phone. I do not use this phone, I use the one at the office. Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone. Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile. Maid: So - what is the problem? We all use our work telephones !!!!!

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