The Official Joke thread

DriverR · 12th December 2008, 16:22

Got this last week.

Mp3 File - filesize 3MB

Hilarious conversation between an SBI Credit Card sales excutive and a prospect, who is either really ignorant or (more likely) being mischivious.

ramie2400 · 17th December 2008, 14:29

The other night I was invited out for a night with “the girls.” I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 AM, a bit the worse for wear, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another nine times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed . . . 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos=midnight!) The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him “Midnight”. He didn’t seem cross at all. Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.”
When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, ‘Oh ****,’ cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.”

Source: Jokes | National Lampoon

Tejas@perioimpl · 17th December 2008, 14:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spitfire

If you are on an airplane sitting next to someone who is irritating you.

Follow these instructions:
1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.
2. Remove your laptop.
3. Start up
4. Make sure the guy who is annoying you, can see the screen.
5. Close your eyes tilt your head up to the sky and move your lips as if praying
6. Then run this screen. Click here -> http://boortz.com/mp3/archive/countdown.swf

Got this as a mail forward.

This is really good! Any idea how to save this? Won't get net connectivity on a flight.

NetfreakBombay · 17th December 2008, 14:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tejas@perioimpl

This is really good! Any idea how to save this? Won't get net connectivity on a flight.

Your hand will be "connected" by chains if this is tried in real world

Tejas@perioimpl · 17th December 2008, 14:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by NetfreakBombay

Your hand will be "connected" by chains if this is tried in real world

ya i know.. but still want to save it...

NetfreakBombay · 17th December 2008, 14:52

Right click on link and select "save as". That should save this SWF locally.

bblost · 17th December 2008, 14:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tejas@perioimpl

ya i know.. but still want to save it...

http://boortz.com/mp3/archive/countdown.swf

Right click on the link.
Choose save target as.
The swf file shall get saved.

To open the file. Simply drag and drop it into any IE window.
Its better than doing a File-> open in IE.

Or you can use irfanview.com for opening swf files.

Tejas@perioimpl · 17th December 2008, 14:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by NetfreakBombay

Right click on link and select "save as". That should save this SWF locally.

I'm a mac user. No save as on right click but i managed to download the flash file from the server... thanks anyways.

Spinnerr · 17th December 2008, 18:59

What?! STILL having a bad day?

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with 'return to sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

There now, feeling better?

Tejas@perioimpl · 17th December 2008, 23:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spinnerr

What?! STILL having a bad day?

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with 'return to sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

There now, feeling better?

Good one... I'm gonna sms this to my friends...

maverick030581 · 18th December 2008, 10:52

Why didn't our friendly neighborhood sardar celebrate suhaag raat with his wife?
Because he read moral advice - Never sleep with married woman

( No offence meant to anyone,this was told to me by a Sardar friend of mine cheers

maverick030581 · 18th December 2008, 10:59

Man to a friend : Dear Lord,my wifey is so scared of water I can't tell you.
Friend : Really ??
Man : Yes,she is so scared of water that I saw her in the bathtub yesterday bathing with the security guard !

maverick030581 · 18th December 2008, 11:31

Now this is hilarious

An Indian couple had a beautiful daughter.They named her Rosemary.As she grew up,she was fed up of being teased continuously.Reason - her last name was Lal.So she was called Rosemary Lal.

Her frustration knew no bounds until her parents decided to get her married.She was happy thinking that atleast now the teasing would stop.Not to be.She got married to a Mr.Lele,so now she became Mrs.Rosemary Lele.

Fed up of the harassment she divorced him and decided to marry an American living here,thinking the same trouble wouldn't arise with an English last name.Tough luck,she is now -

Mrs.Rosemary Marlow

maverick030581 · 18th December 2008, 11:33

A chicken and an egg were lying in bed together.The chicken rolls over and says,"Well finally we have settled the debate !"

neofromcapone · 18th December 2008, 15:31

@maverick030581....very good mate...phele socho ki what the hell is hell is he talking about.and then it hits you like a ... jut like the brazil jelly ad

@condor - dunno if posted earlier

http://sprott.physics.wisc.edu/pickover/jelly_se_ad.jpg

"Thought you might appreciate the subtlety of this ad, done by a Brazilian ad agency, for a lubricating gel (K-Y equivalent) targeting the French market. They were trying to come up with an ad that is not offensive or tasteless. The picture looks completely innocent until you notice the details... Oh, my God. Look carefully at the details. Apparently, it has created quite a buzz in Europe."

12th December 2008, 16:22	#3346
DriverR BHPian Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Hyderabad Posts: 414 Thanked: 526 Times	SBI Credit Card - Hilarious recorded call Got this last week. Mp3 File - filesize 3MB Hilarious conversation between an SBI Credit Card sales excutive and a prospect, who is either really ignorant or (more likely) being mischivious.

18th December 2008, 10:52	#3356
maverick030581 BHPian Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Mumbai Posts: 198 Thanked: 2 Times	Why didn't our friendly neighborhood sardar celebrate suhaag raat with his wife? Because he read moral advice - Never sleep with married woman ( No offence meant to anyone,this was told to me by a Sardar friend of mine cheers Last edited by maverick030581 : 18th December 2008 at 10:55.

18th December 2008, 11:31	#3358
maverick030581 BHPian Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Mumbai Posts: 198 Thanked: 2 Times	Whats in a name? Now this is hilarious An Indian couple had a beautiful daughter.They named her Rosemary.As she grew up,she was fed up of being teased continuously.Reason - her last name was Lal.So she was called Rosemary Lal. Her frustration knew no bounds until her parents decided to get her married.She was happy thinking that atleast now the teasing would stop.Not to be.She got married to a Mr.Lele,so now she became Mrs.Rosemary Lele. Fed up of the harassment she divorced him and decided to marry an American living here,thinking the same trouble wouldn't arise with an English last name.Tough luck,she is now - Mrs.Rosemary Marlow

18th December 2008, 11:33	#3359
maverick030581 BHPian Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Mumbai Posts: 198 Thanked: 2 Times	Debate anyone ?? A chicken and an egg were lying in bed together.The chicken rolls over and says,"Well finally we have settled the debate !"

17th December 2008, 14:29	#3347
ramie2400 Senior - BHPian Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Mumbai Posts: 1,903 Thanked: 66 Times View My Garage	The other night I was invited out for a night with “the girls.” I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, “I promise!” Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 AM, a bit the worse for wear, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another nine times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed . . . 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos=midnight!) The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him “Midnight”. He didn’t seem cross at all. Whew! Got away with that one! Then he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.” When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, ‘Oh ****,’ cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.” Source: Jokes \| National Lampoon

17th December 2008, 14:52	#3351
NetfreakBombay Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Bombay Posts: 1,466 Thanked: 1,021 Times	Right click on link and select "save as". That should save this SWF locally.

17th December 2008, 18:59	#3354
Spinnerr BHPian Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Bangalore Posts: 417 Thanked: 487 Times	What?! STILL having a bad day? Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with 'return to sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. There now, feeling better?

18th December 2008, 10:59	#3357
maverick030581 BHPian Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Mumbai Posts: 198 Thanked: 2 Times	Man to a friend : Dear Lord,my wifey is so scared of water I can't tell you. Friend : Really ?? Man : Yes,she is so scared of water that I saw her in the bathtub yesterday bathing with the security guard !

18th December 2008, 15:31	#3360
neofromcapone BHPian Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Bombay Posts: 412 Thanked: 438 Times	@maverick030581....very good mate...phele socho ki what the hell is hell is he talking about.and then it hits you like a ... jut like the brazil jelly ad @condor - dunno if posted earlier http://sprott.physics.wisc.edu/pickover/jelly_se_ad.jpg "Thought you might appreciate the subtlety of this ad, done by a Brazilian ad agency, for a lubricating gel (K-Y equivalent) targeting the French market. They were trying to come up with an ad that is not offensive or tasteless. The picture looks completely innocent until you notice the details... Oh, my God. Look carefully at the details. Apparently, it has created quite a buzz in Europe."