The Official Joke thread

padikpanther · 8th September 2011, 17:42

Statement of the Day: “mummy ko ane do, sabko dekh lunga…..”
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..
..
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- Rahul Gandhi

prateekm · 9th September 2011, 02:02

‎"It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son ..

.. and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him."

akj53 · 9th September 2011, 13:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by prateekm

&lrm;"It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son ..

.. and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him."

This is not a joke but a fact of life.

BaCkSeAtDrIVeR · 9th September 2011, 13:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by akj53

This is not a joke but a fact of life.

You are, obviously, married. (like me).

Fordmanchau · 9th September 2011, 14:21

Elections after elections and nothing changed as yet....!!!

Why ??

Name: wordsofwisdom.gif
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Found this on the net.
Courtesy:
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anekho · 9th September 2011, 14:25

Saw this on twitter:

Quote:

Santa: I can't 'Ford a Fiesta. Banta: But Ikon.

anilisanil · 9th September 2011, 15:50

Love keliye...kuch bhi karega?

Anything for love??

Urban_Nomad · 9th September 2011, 16:54

A very lonely man was taking a stroll late in the evening, thinking how he has never been with a woman, when he sees a girl standing at the edge of a bridge.

He runs towards her and screams - "What are you doing"?
Girl - I am going to commit suicide.

The despo that he was, asked the girl - "well, before you jump, why dont you give me a kiss"?

The girl agrees and their lips lock in a loooong passionate kiss.

The man says, "Wowwwww, that was great. By the way, why are you commiting suicide"?

Girl - My parents dont like me dressing up like a girl.

Man jumps off the bridge.

Scorcher · 9th September 2011, 17:33

Sardar: 3 month mein beta kaise hogaya
Biwi : Shadi ko kitna time hua
Sardar : 3
Biwi : Aur meri
Sardar : 3
Biwi : Aud dono ki ?
Sardar : 3
Biwi : Total kitne hue
Sardar : 9 , sorry maine tuj pe shak kia.

__________________________________________________ _______________

Sardarni : Hello ji , I am pregnant.

Sardar: Mein toh england me tha!!!

Sardarni : Aapka photo tha na !!

Sardar : Jhoot mat bol kamini , photo toh kamar tak hi tha!!

Urban_Nomad · 9th September 2011, 17:56

A Sardarji murdered his wife the same night they got married.

Why???????????????????

Wife's underwear label read -

"100% soft and silky. Tested by Roopchand and Brothers".

Scorcher · 10th September 2011, 07:19

Convincing people, how hard can it be?

IronH4WK · 10th September 2011, 11:22

got this from Facebook

Ek sardar ne facebook pe account bana lia. Usko ye samajh mein nahi aa raha tha ke "wall" pe kya likhe hein. Bahut sochne ke baad usne likha "Yahan pishaab karna mana hai"!

translation:

once a sardar opened a account on Facebook. he wasn't able to figure out what is to be written on the Wall. after a lot of thought he put up Urination is prohibited here!

************************************************** *

dre@ms · 10th September 2011, 17:44

The Monkey Business

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10.

The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at Rs.10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs.20. This renewed

the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs.25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was

an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on-behalf of him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs35 and when the

Man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs.50."

The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.

Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!!!

Welcome to the "Stock" Market!!

dhanushs · 10th September 2011, 17:55

I guess its an old one, but still thought it deserves to be here...

Am I condor'ed?

Will u ask for an appraisal this year.mp4 - YouTube

ch.nathan · 10th September 2011, 19:19

^^^ Have read this in a text form. But watching it in video is nicer.

8th September 2011, 17:42	#5071
padikpanther BHPian Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Pune Posts: 98 Thanked: 105 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Statement of the Day: “mummy ko ane do, sabko dekh lunga…..” .. .. .. .. - Rahul Gandhi

9th September 2011, 02:02	#5072
prateekm BHPian Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Mumbai & BLR Posts: 790 Thanked: 553 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread ‎"It takes a woman twenty years to make a man of her son .. .. and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him."

9th September 2011, 14:21	#5075
Fordmanchau Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Hyderabad Posts: 1,666 Thanked: 340 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Elections after elections and nothing changed as yet....!!! Why ?? Found this on the net. Courtesy:

9th September 2011, 15:50	#5077
anilisanil Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Pune Posts: 1,420 Thanked: 291 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Love keliye...kuch bhi karega? Anything for love??

9th September 2011, 16:54	#5078
Urban_Nomad Senior - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Delhi Posts: 1,631 Thanked: 2,388 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread A very lonely man was taking a stroll late in the evening, thinking how he has never been with a woman, when he sees a girl standing at the edge of a bridge. He runs towards her and screams - "What are you doing"? Girl - I am going to commit suicide. The despo that he was, asked the girl - "well, before you jump, why dont you give me a kiss"? The girl agrees and their lips lock in a loooong passionate kiss. The man says, "Wowwwww, that was great. By the way, why are you commiting suicide"? Girl - My parents dont like me dressing up like a girl. Man jumps off the bridge.

9th September 2011, 17:33	#5079
Scorcher Senior - BHPian Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Trivandrum, KL Posts: 4,916 Thanked: 7,118 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Sardar: 3 month mein beta kaise hogaya Biwi : Shadi ko kitna time hua Sardar : 3 Biwi : Aur meri Sardar : 3 Biwi : Aud dono ki ? Sardar : 3 Biwi : Total kitne hue Sardar : 9 , sorry maine tuj pe shak kia. __________________________________________________ _______________ Sardarni : Hello ji , I am pregnant. Sardar: Mein toh england me tha!!! Sardarni : Aapka photo tha na !! Sardar : Jhoot mat bol kamini , photo toh kamar tak hi tha!! Last edited by Scorcher : 9th September 2011 at 17:52.

9th September 2011, 17:56	#5080
Urban_Nomad Senior - BHPian Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Delhi Posts: 1,631 Thanked: 2,388 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread A Sardarji murdered his wife the same night they got married. Why??????????????????? Wife's underwear label read - "100% soft and silky. Tested by Roopchand and Brothers".

10th September 2011, 07:19	#5081
Scorcher Senior - BHPian Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Trivandrum, KL Posts: 4,916 Thanked: 7,118 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread Convincing people, how hard can it be?

10th September 2011, 11:22	#5082
IronH4WK Senior - BHPian Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Bangalore Posts: 3,468 Thanked: 4,148 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread got this from Facebook Ek sardar ne facebook pe account bana lia. Usko ye samajh mein nahi aa raha tha ke "wall" pe kya likhe hein. Bahut sochne ke baad usne likha "Yahan pishaab karna mana hai"! translation: once a sardar opened a account on Facebook. he wasn't able to figure out what is to be written on the Wall. after a lot of thought he put up Urination is prohibited here! ************************************************** * Last edited by Technocrat : 12th September 2011 at 21:39. Reason: removed the inappropriate Joke, thanks

10th September 2011, 17:44	#5083
dre@ms BHPian Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: MADRAS Posts: 638 Thanked: 206 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread The Monkey Business Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at Rs.10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs.20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs.25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it! The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on-behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs35 and when the Man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs.50." The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!!! Welcome to the "Stock" Market!!

10th September 2011, 19:19	#5085
ch.nathan BHPian Join Date: May 2010 Location: Bangalore Posts: 516 Thanked: 70 Times	Re: The Official Joke thread ^^^ Have read this in a text form. But watching it in video is nicer.