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Old 12th October 2011, 22:41   #5386
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Re: The Official Joke thread

A very innovative way to safeguard your footwear !
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Old 13th October 2011, 00:18   #5387
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Re: The Official Joke thread

A guy planning to get married starts visiting prospective brides. He meets several girls in a span of 20 YEARS and still does not find one. On his latest visit, the mother of the bride opens the door, sees him and goes back. After a long lull the father comes out and asks him to go back refusing to show the girl. On insisting a reason, pat comes the reply, the mother was one of the first girls he had seem 20 years ago!

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Old 13th October 2011, 11:28   #5388
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Re: The Official Joke thread

ho is this for riding "like a boss"!!
spotted enroute to lansdowne.
The Official Joke thread-doojer.jpg
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Old 13th October 2011, 12:00   #5389
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Re: The Official Joke thread

The sad state of affairs in Indian Media.

N-powered protestors refuse to budge - southindia - Tamil Nadu - ibnlive

"Nuclear powered protestors"
I really wish to see the nuclear powered protesters. BTW the spelling of protesters is also wrong.
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Old 13th October 2011, 12:21   #5390
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A precious little girl walks into a Pets Mart Shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, between two missing teeth, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"

As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy, bwack wabbit, or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"

She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice, "I don't think my python weally gives a thit !!"






The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession.

"Of course, my son," said the priest.

"Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her."

"That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest.

"It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favours," continued the old man.

"Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk - you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest.

"Thanks, Father," said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?"

"Of course, my son," said the priest.

The old man asked, "Do I need to tell her that the war is over?"

Last edited by Vid6639 : 14th October 2011 at 10:17. Reason: merging back to back posts. Kindly edit edit existing post if posting within 30mins.
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Old 13th October 2011, 14:08   #5391
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Re: The Official Joke thread

This i got from the FAQs in some tuner's website(not india).
A tongue in cheek sorts for ricer's queries about hoses(of all things) probably.
I like them more for this, rather than any of their work.
(is it from this thread?not sure)

Tuning Tip: Red is a good color for all around performance, however with a big turbo blue gets upwards of 10 hp, unless you have stock cams, then only 5 hp. Purple is best for bottom end power, mix with red for excellent mid-range. For NT cars, shift all recommendations one hue towards a warmer color. Yellow hose should only be used on high compression NTs or turbo cars with welded differentials. Proper Sticker Tuning can be a successful work around for any of these concerns.
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Old 13th October 2011, 16:32   #5392
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Re: The Official Joke thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oxy View Post
A software engineer dies and goes to Heaven. “There must be some mistake,” the engineer argues. “I’m too young to die. I’m only fifty five.” “Fifty five?” says Saint Peter. “No, according to our calculations, you’re eighty two.” “How’s you get that?” the engineer asks. Answers St. Peter: “We added up your time sheets.”
Great, I can fully understand
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Old 13th October 2011, 16:52   #5393
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Re: The Official Joke thread

Got it from Facebook:

The Wine Taster At a wine merchant, the regular taster died (drowned in a vat!!) and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position. The director of the warehouse wondered how to send him away.

They gave him a glass of wine to drink. He tried it and said, "It's a Muscat, three Years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers". Low grade but acceptable.

"That's correct", said the boss. Another glass.... "It's a cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees. Requires three more years for finest results.."

"Correct again!" A third glass...''It's a pinot blanc champagne, high grade and exclusive'' calmly said the drunk.

The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary to suggest something. She left the room, and came back in with a glass of urine.

The alcoholic tried it. "It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant and if you don't give me the job, I'll name the father."

Last edited by paragsachania : 13th October 2011 at 16:53.
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Old 13th October 2011, 17:58   #5394
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Re: The Official Joke thread

OBAMA: Do you know Swimming?

LALU: No

OBAMA - dog is better than you,it Swims.

LALU - do you know Swimming?

OBAMA:Yes

LALU:Then,Whats the difference between you and Dog?

OBAMA shocks...LALU Rocks!!
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Old 13th October 2011, 22:54   #5395
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Re: The Official Joke thread

This is what a "Deadlock" is
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Old 13th October 2011, 23:03   #5396
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Re: The Official Joke thread

Some R.K.Laxman cartoons.Miss his cartoons a lot since he suffered an attack of paralysis recently.
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(source nirmaltv)
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Old 14th October 2011, 10:27   #5397
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Re: The Official Joke thread

SRK did two and half hour's guest role in Rajnikanth's Ra.One :P
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Old 14th October 2011, 10:39   #5398
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Re: The Official Joke thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by traveloholic View Post
SRK did two and half hour's guest role in Rajnikanth's Ra.One :P

so did this joke, sir!!
not in RA1, but here-
http://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifti...ml#post2543123
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Old 14th October 2011, 14:36   #5399
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Re: The Official Joke thread

Once again, I flicked off an image from my friend's wall!

The Official Joke thread-313075_260311034013211_100001029507638_797664_2028464397_n.jpg
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Old 14th October 2011, 14:36   #5400
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This sign should be mandatory on all fuel pumps
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