[normally_crazy]

wanna learn a new language , Bambaiya ?



Caution Advised !

[DCEite]

Originally Posted by normally_crazy

wanna learn a new language , Bambaiya ?



Caution Advised !

Ek dum Rapchik Item!

[heavy_foot]

Heaven....Heaven is when U have a German car,American
salary,Chinese food & Indian wife.
Hell is when car is Chinese,food is German,wife is American and salary
Indian.

[jkdas]

Fuel Saving Device. pls dont PM regarding this. i dont sell them.
http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a20...gdevice2se.jpg

[revtech]

The Police rounded up three streetwalkers and brought
them before the Judge. Three hookers stood before him,
all arrested on the same corner. He asked the first
lady what she had to say for herself. The woman was
irate and defended, "I don't know what all this is
about, your Honor. I'm a college student doing
research for a term paper." The Judge sighed and said,
"Well, Miss, I would have thought you'd done enough
'research' by now. My computer says you have the two
prior convictions. Thirty days and $250 fine."

Judge turns to the second lady and requested that she
testify. The woman began crying softly and said,
"Judge, I am just a housewife out getting a pack of
cigarettes for my husband. I have no idea why I was
arrested."

This time, the Judge shook his head and said, "Well,
young lady, the officer tells me that he saw you hand
a stack of bills along with the cigarettes to your
'husband' in his new Cadillac. Thirty days and $250
fine."

He turned to the last of the three caught and asked
her occupation. The woman said
simply, "I'm a hooker." Refreshed at her honesty, the
Judge laughed and said, "How's business?"

She sneered and replied, "Terrible Judge, with all
these students and housewives around, competition is
really tough!"


Rev

[jkdas]

Four guys, from Harvard, Yale, MIT and SANTA

University were to be interview for prestigious job. One common question was asked to all 4 of them.

INTERVIEWER : WHICH IS THE FASTEST THING IN THE WORLD ?

YALE guy : Its light, Nothing can travel faster than light

HARVARD Guy : Its the Thought, b'cos thought is so fast it comes > instantly in your mind

MIT guy : Its Blink, you can blink and its hard to realize you blinked

SANTA : Its Dysentery

INTERVIEWER :( Shocked to hear santa's reply, asked) "WHY" ?

SANTA : Last night after dinner, I was lying in my bed
and I got the worst stomach cramps, and before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHTS, it was over!!!!

[jkdas]

Here its chun chan ching chu with his team-manager


and now bing bong chun hoi chow leads pan pung kin khow,ohh and jin jhow jon is low comming past....


sun yah hun moh out of race, seems a problem with engine !


I rule! hon hin honda wins!

[hkanitkar]

looks like JAPAN / KOREA / CHINA preparing to beat the ITALIAN DOCTOR

good one JK
BTW - are those names real ??

- what engines these ' SBKs ' run on ?? top speed ??

[Steeroid]

Not very well written, but its different from the usual stuff. Could've been better...

Its funny - if you're Indian!!

It is the year 2020 and call centers are opening all over the West,as the new economic power India out sources work to the countries where many jobs originated. Millions of Americans, still struggling to adapt to a global economy, are willing to accept jobs that pay them in a new currency sweeping much of the world: Rupees.

Some of them, eager to land one of the customer service jobs from India, are attending special training sessions in New York City, led by language specialist Dave Ramsey, who goes by a simpler name for his Indian clients: Devendra Ramaswaminathan.

On this warm afternoon, the professor is teaching three ambitious students how to communicate with Indian customers. Professor: "Okay, Gary, Randy and Jane, first we need to give you Indian names. Gary, from now on, you'll be known to your customers as Gaurav. Randy, you'll be Ranjit. And Jane, you'll be Jagadamba.


Now imagine you just received a call from Delhi. What do you say?"


Gary: "Name as tea ?"



Professor: "I think you mean 'namaste.' Very good. But what do you say after that?"


Gary: "How can I help you?"



Professor: "You're on the right track. Anyone else?"



Jane: "How can I be helping you?"



Professor: "Good try! You're using the correct tense, but it's not quite right. Anyone else?"


Randy: "How I can be helping you ?"



Professor: "Wonderful! Word order is very important. Okay, let's try some small talk. Give me a comment that would help you make a connection with your Indian customers."

Randy: "It's really hot, isn't it?"



Professor: "The heat is always a good topic, but you haven't phrased it correctly. Try again."



Randy: "It's deadly hot, isn't it?"



Professor: "That's better. But your tag question can be greatly improved."



Randy: "It's deadly hot, no?"



Professor: "Wonderful! You can put 'no?' at the end of almost any statement. You are understanding me, no?"



Jane: "Yes, we are understanding you, no?"

Professor (smiles): "We may need to review this later. But let's move on to other things. Have you ever heard Indians use the word 'yaar'?"



Randy: "Yes, my Indian friends use it all the time. Just last night, one of them said to me, 'Randy, give me yaar password. I am needing it to fix yaar computer."

Professor (laughs): "That's a different 'yaar,' yaar. The 'yaar' that I'm talking about means friend or buddy. You can use it if you've developed a camaraderie with a customer. For example, you can say,'Come on, yaar. I am offering you the best deal.' Do you understand, Jagadamba?"



Jane: "Yaar, I do."

Professor (smiles): "Okay, let's talk about accents. If your client says 'I yam wery vorried about vat I bought for my vife,' how would you respond?"



Randy: "Please don't be vorrying, yaar. She vill be wery happy and vill give you a vild time tonight."



Professor: "Vunderful! I mean, wonderful. You have a bright future, Ranjit. And so do you, Jagadamba. But Gaurav, you haven't said anything in a while. Do you have any questions about what we've just learned?"

Gary: "Yes, Professor, I do have one question: Wouldn't it be simpler to learn to speak Hindi?"

[jkdas]

Originally Posted by hkanitkar

looks like JAPAN / KOREA / CHINA preparing to beat the ITALIAN DOCTOR

good one JK
BTW - are those names real ??

- what engines these ' SBKs ' run on ?? top speed ??

no re, not real names. i named them. cute na?


:lol, nice one steeroid yaar, na?

[revtech]

Can cold water clean dishes?

This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry
about using cold water to clean.

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a
very secluded, rural area of Georgia.


After spending a great evening chatting the night
away, John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon,
eggs and toast. However, John noticed a film like
substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather
asking, "Are these plates clean?"

His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold
water can get them. Just you go ahead and finish your
meal, Sonny!"

For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John
was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have
tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg
and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"

Without looking up the old man said, "I told you
before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water
can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to
hear another word about it!"

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby
town and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog
started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass. John
yelled and said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me
get to my car".


Without diverting his attention from the football game
he was watching on TV, the old man shouted .

"COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN!!!!"


Rev

[nishant_kingpin]

A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland.

When the man tells her it will be $300 She exclaims.."I don't have any money.. but I would do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother in Poland !!!! "

To that the man asks "Anything"??

And the blonde says "yes.. Anything"!! With that, the man says "Follow me"

..He walks into the next room and tells her "Come in and close the door"..She does!!

He then says "Get on your knees"..She does!!..

He then says take down my zipper"..She does!!...

He then says "Go ahead... Take it out"

With that, she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands!!

The man then says "Well.. Go ahead"!!...

She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her lips..

She says "HELLO, MOM"????

[nishant_kingpin]

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice--picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening, the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned. "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up, he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Moral: Old men can still think fast.

[nishant_kingpin]

A husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage.
The counselor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a
tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've
been married. She goes on and on and on.

Finally, the counselor gets up, goes around the desk, embraces the woman
and kisses her passionately. The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a
daze.

The counselor turns to the husband and says "That is what your wife needs
at least three times a week. Can you do that?"

The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can get her here
Monday and Wednesday, but on Friday, I golf.

[jkdas]

Originally Posted by nishant_kingpin

An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice--picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening, the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he came closer, he saw a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned. "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up, he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."

Moral: Old men can still think fast.

nice one. old age wisdow rules eh? hehe