![]() | #7066 | |
Senior - BHPian | ![]() Quote:
It is just a matter of putting the pieces together :-P | |
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![]() | #7067 |
Senior - BHPian Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Bangalore
Posts: 3,465
Thanked: 3,986 Times
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![]() | #7068 |
BHPian Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Bangalore
Posts: 200
Thanked: 185 Times
| ![]() A drunk stumbles along a Baptismal service down by the river on a Sunday afternoon. He proceeds to stumble down into the water and stands next to the Minister. The Minister turns, notices the old drunk and says, “Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?” The drunk looks back and says, “Yes sir, I am.” The Minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. “Have you found Jesus?” the Minister asked. “No, I didn’t!” said the drunk. The Minister then dunks him under for a quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, “Now brother, have you found Jesus?” “No, I did not!” said the drunk again. Disgusted, the Minister holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him up and demands, “For the grace of God, have you found Jesus yet?!!!??” The old drunk wipes his eyes and pleads, “Are you sure this is where he fell in?” ##### Because she hasn’t heard anything from her for a few days, a woman is worried about an older woman, a widow, who lives in the apartment next door. So she tells her son, “I want you to go next door and see how Old Mrs. Pierpoint is.” A few minutes later, the boy returns. “Well, is she all right?” the mother asks. “She’s fine, but she’s annoyed with you,” he says. “At me? Whatever for?” “Well,” says her son, “Mrs. Pierpoint told me it’s none of your business how old she is.” ##### An old man and his wife lived deep in the hills and seldom saw many people. One day a peddler came by to sell his goods and asked the man if he or his wife wanted to buy anything. “Well, my wife ain’t home,” said the man. “She’s gone down to the crick to wash clothes, but lemme see what you got”. The peddler showed him pots and pans, tools and gadgets, but the old man wasn’t interested. Then the man spotted a mirror and said, “What’s that?” Before the peddler could tell him it was a mirror, the old man picked it up and said, “My God! How’d you get a picture of my Pappy?” The old man was so happy he traded his wife’s best pitcher for it. The peddler left before the wife came back and spoiled his sale. The old man was worried that the wife would be mad at him for trading her best pitcher, so he hid the mirror in the barn behind some boxes of junk. He would go out to the barn 2 or 3 times a day to look at the “picture,” and eventually the wife got suspicious. One day she got fed up and after he retired for the night, she went out to the barn. She saw the mirror behind the boxes, picked it up and said, “So this is the hussy he’s been fooling around with!” Last edited by Oxy : 2nd May 2012 at 15:50. |
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![]() | #7069 |
BHPian Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Singapore
Posts: 574
Thanked: 409 Times
| ![]() Heard this on Radio Indigo 91.9 A policeman flagged down a driver and looking at his intoxicated condition asked "How high are you?" The driver replied, "No officer, its Hi(gh), How are you?" |
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![]() | #7070 |
Distinguished - BHPian ![]() | ![]() Wanna make your bike sound sporty? Here's the answer! ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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BHPian | ![]() So how many feel the same way? ![]() |
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![]() | #7072 |
Senior - BHPian Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 1,186
Thanked: 164 Times
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![]() | #7073 | |
Senior - BHPian Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: zxc
Posts: 3,393
Thanked: 677 Times
| ![]() Quote: Final image is 12 megapixel and can be worked upon with ease. | |
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![]() | #7074 | |
Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Perth, WA
Posts: 1,011
Thanked: 687 Times
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![]() | #7075 | |
Distinguished - BHPian ![]() | ![]() Quote:
This is trade craft!! ![]() | |
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![]() | #7076 |
Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Bardez, Goa
Posts: 1,181
Thanked: 1,016 Times
| ![]() Yet another glaring example of high standards of ToI reporting: PS: For those who don't follow cricket. Keiron Pollard was not even playing the match. ![]() And they say its the No.1 newspaper in our country. It is Dwayne Smith who did it. |
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![]() | #7077 |
BHPian Join Date: May 2009 Location: India
Posts: 602
Thanked: 650 Times
| ![]() ![]() Source: facebook Cheers! Irish ![]() |
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![]() | #7078 |
BHPian | ![]() This video made my day ![]() |
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![]() | #7079 |
BHPian | ![]() In today's Hindustan Times YAMAHA HAYABUSA ![]() |
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![]() | #7080 |
Senior - BHPian Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: New Delhi
Posts: 1,478
Thanked: 1,070 Times
| ![]() DIY - Swift DDiS EGR Valve & Intake Manifold Cleaning This would make most sense to those who've got their car's EGR valve & intake manifold cleaning done (specially in front of their eyes) Step 1: Open the bonnet Step 2: Un-screw about a thousand odd nuts & bolts, and take out all sorts of tubings, pipes, inlets & unhook connectors & what not. Basically disconnect everything that seems connected. Step 3: Take out the intake manifold & the egr valve. Those who've seen the egr valve, I know the first thing that came to your mind as soon as you put your eyes on it. Those who haven't, you'd be in for a surprise, pleasant or not would depend on your 'ahem-ahem' orientation. Step 4: Clean 'em up Step 5: Put the intake manifold & egr valve back Step 6: Bolt up everything that you unhooked, you know Last Out First In. Its like a jigsaw puzzle, only about a 1,00,000,000 times difficult but nothing impossible. Step 7: Close the bonnet! |
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Time for a Holiday Joke? | Steeroid | Shifting gears | 9 | 24th December 2005 20:51 |
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