The Official Joke thread

ghostrider4385 · 26th April 2006, 00:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by jkdas

copy and paste following link in ur browser

javascript:function reverse() { var inp = "!sadkj ekil krow lufesu emos oD .siht lla gniod rof efil uoy nevig ton sah doG "; var outp="";for (i = 0; i <= inp.length; i++) { outp =inp.charAt (i) + outp;}alert(outp) ;}; reverse();

hehe

Hahaha!!! Not THAT made my day! Very innovative I must say!

Godspeed.

Alok.

karthik247 · 26th April 2006, 20:48

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his
English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he
rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce
for him -- "very quick." The lawyer said that the speed for getting a
divorce would then depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following
questions:

LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."
LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
POLE: "It made of concrete."
LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one."
LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations still in Poland."
LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in yo! ur marriage?"
POLE: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."
LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?"
POLE: "No, I always up before her."
LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"
POLE: "No, she white."
LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"
POLE: "She going to kill me."
LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
POLE: "I got proof.
LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"
POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on
shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'

basilmabraham · 27th April 2006, 13:56

There were two nuns...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and
I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical .

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!

SL : The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do
I lifted my dress up.

SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do.
He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL : Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man
with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,

be LOGICAL sometimes...

basilmabraham · 27th April 2006, 15:11

Kenny & the Dead Donkey

A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died last night."

Kenny replied: "Well then, just give me my money back."

The farmer said: "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

Kenny said: "OK then, just unload the donkey."

The farmer asked: "What you gonna do with him?"

Kenny: "I'm going to raffle him off." (Note: To raffle is to sell a thing by lottery - draw lot -! to a group of people each paying the same amount for a ticket)

Farmer: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

Kenny: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."

A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"

Kenny: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.00."

Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?"

Kenny: "Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two dollars."

Kenny grew up and eventually became the CEO of the American Energy Company : Enron (This am not sure)

normally_crazy · 27th April 2006, 15:22

http://www.mis-group.com/funny/drunk...k_get_home.php

Try and wakl staight after a few drinks too many

I walked 45 metres ...edit 54 now.

2L8uLoose · 27th April 2006, 15:52

I got the drunk to walk 55

EDIT.. just got to 61...

karthik247 · 27th April 2006, 16:51

Equalled the record. YAY

Rtech · 27th April 2006, 16:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by normally_crazy

http://www.mis-group.com/funny/drunk...k_get_home.php

Try and wakl staight after a few drinks too many

I walked 45 metres ...edit 54 now.

Thanks NC...now when I get fired for not doing any work, I'll know who to blame!!

BTW, my drunk managed 61 meters so far...

2L8uLoose · 27th April 2006, 17:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH that drunk game is VERY VERY ADDICTIVE!!!
Bettered my own personal best of 61 by doing 66 meters.. Congratulations Karthik... I guess we all know now who to walk next to when we are drunk.. .lol

cooldude1988765 · 27th April 2006, 17:05

I got the drunk to walk 58

speedsatya · 27th April 2006, 17:06

i am the best drunk over here ...i bettered the record ..91 metres

karthik247 · 27th April 2006, 17:37

Best i could manage so far is 85meters, will give it a shot later. Right now hands are painin, been playin for arnd 30minz or more.

Bob · 27th April 2006, 18:04

santa falls in luv with a nurse . . .after much thinking he write a loveletter to her. . . ."i love you sister".

karthik247 · 27th April 2006, 21:40

Speedsatya...there goes ur record

cheatingdeath · 27th April 2006, 23:00

i did a 73 rite noww

27th April 2006, 13:56	#1128
basilmabraham BHPian Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Sydney/Cochin Posts: 772 Thanked: 76 Times View My Garage	The two nuns There were two nuns... One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants. SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do? SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster. SM: It's not working. SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. So the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical . Then Sister Logical arrives. SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened! SL : The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then? SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. SM: And? SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me. SM: Oh, dear! What did you do? SL: The only logical thing to do I lifted my dress up. SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do? SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants. SM: Oh, no! What happened then? SL : Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down. And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, be LOGICAL sometimes...

27th April 2006, 15:11	#1129
basilmabraham BHPian Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Sydney/Cochin Posts: 772 Thanked: 76 Times View My Garage	Kenny & the Dead Donkey Kenny & the Dead Donkey A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died last night." Kenny replied: "Well then, just give me my money back." The farmer said: "Can't do that. I went and spent it already." Kenny said: "OK then, just unload the donkey." The farmer asked: "What you gonna do with him?" Kenny: "I'm going to raffle him off." (Note: To raffle is to sell a thing by lottery - draw lot -! to a group of people each paying the same amount for a ticket) Farmer: "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!" Kenny: "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead." A month later the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?" Kenny: "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.00." Farmer: "Didn't anyone complain?" Kenny: "Just the guy who won. So I gave him back his two dollars." Kenny grew up and eventually became the CEO of the American Energy Company : Enron (This am not sure)

27th April 2006, 15:22	#1130
normally_crazy Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Mumbai Posts: 4,369 Thanked: 528 Times View My Garage	http://www.mis-group.com/funny/drunk...k_get_home.php Try and wakl staight after a few drinks too many I walked 45 metres ...edit 54 now. Last edited by normally_crazy : 27th April 2006 at 15:26.

27th April 2006, 15:52	#1131
2L8uLoose BANNED Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Bombay Posts: 628 Thanked: 6 Times View My Garage	I got the drunk to walk 55 EDIT.. just got to 61... Last edited by 2L8uLoose : 27th April 2006 at 16:02.

27th April 2006, 18:04	#1138
Bob BHPian Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: vadodara.(guj).india Posts: 43 Thanked: Once	one liner santa falls in luv with a nurse . . .after much thinking he write a loveletter to her. . . ."i love you sister".

26th April 2006, 20:48	#1127
karthik247 Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: BLR, HYD Posts: 2,710 Thanked: 30 Times	A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him -- "very quick." The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would then depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions: LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?" POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home." LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?" POLE: "It made of concrete." LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?" POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one." LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?" POLE: "All my relations still in Poland." LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in yo! ur marriage?" POLE: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player." LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?" POLE: "No, I always up before her." LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?" POLE: "No, she white." LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?" POLE: "She going to kill me." LAWYER: "What makes you think that?" POLE: "I got proof. LAWYER: "What kind of proof?" POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'

27th April 2006, 16:51	#1132
karthik247 Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: BLR, HYD Posts: 2,710 Thanked: 30 Times	Equalled the record. YAY

27th April 2006, 17:00	#1134
2L8uLoose BANNED Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Bombay Posts: 628 Thanked: 6 Times View My Garage	AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH that drunk game is VERY VERY ADDICTIVE!!! Bettered my own personal best of 61 by doing 66 meters.. Congratulations Karthik... I guess we all know now who to walk next to when we are drunk.. .lol

27th April 2006, 17:05	#1135
cooldude1988765 Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Bangalore Posts: 1,042 Thanked: 194 Times	I got the drunk to walk 58

27th April 2006, 17:06	#1136
speedsatya Senior - BHPian Join Date: May 2004 Location: bangalore/manga Posts: 3,169 Thanked: 738 Times View My Garage	i am the best drunk over here ...i bettered the record ..91 metres

27th April 2006, 17:37	#1137
karthik247 Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: BLR, HYD Posts: 2,710 Thanked: 30 Times	Best i could manage so far is 85meters, will give it a shot later. Right now hands are painin, been playin for arnd 30minz or more.

27th April 2006, 21:40	#1139
karthik247 Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: BLR, HYD Posts: 2,710 Thanked: 30 Times	Speedsatya...there goes ur record

27th April 2006, 23:00	#1140
cheatingdeath BHPian Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Mumbai Posts: 275 Thanked: 10 Times	i did a 73 rite noww