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Surely if the amount of time being spent is being cut half so should the salary. However how about if we look at this way. When you probably signed up for the job, the requirement.was for a 8-9 hours work shift. Now that the employee is working double then would the employer willing to pay a crore to the same employee?

I'm sorry you had to go thorugh this horrible experience.

The indian work culture can sometimes be horrible and it's upto the employess to droaw the boundaries and protect their space and maintain balance.

Remember that if something more serious had happened to you on this job, a job description would be floating around on the job boards to hire your replacement within a day or two. Everyone is replacable.

It also seems like you've ignored many red flags in this job and let people push you around. Take care of yourself, and if you need help finding another job pls PM me.

Good luck my friend.

Friends, let us not digress (and I will just say it: Good Grief!)
Flanker, every experience in your life, every emotion you have ever felt, every trauma you have undergone, every success you have tasted ... together, they have prepared you for this.
That is why you are ok sharing it.
So, why worry at all? Worry is a bully, it just takes. Gives you nothing in return. So, why worry?
Take care, as the saying goes: Physician, heal thyself.
You are perfectly capable of any challenge that life throws at you.
Smile, live (to drive) and follow all medical procedures that shall relieve you of your pains.
See you on the road.

I am very happy to see that you are fine now. Now, coming to your work, many have suggested that you should change job. While that may be the right thing, see if you can do something before that. Try to understand the reason why your juniors (and seniors) behave that way. Without getting angry see if you can convey your thought and see if they can change. Only later, if things things dont improve, then look for good companies outside. Note that grass looks greener on the other side. So, only after confirming that the other compnay is good, turn your back to the current one. Any decision you make or do not make, ensure that you do not worry. You may think you have reached a dead-end, but life comes with so many options that you will not have time to explore all.

Yes. I asked something similar to my Indian employer in a small startup. My request was, I will work 3 days a week on alternate days and I'm ready to take 3/5 salary (40% cut), as that helps me with my work life balance. Company was not ok with this suggestion and declined.

Personally, I prefer flexible working options compared to designation or salary, which are secondary to me.

In Germany I had following options - 20 hrs/week, 35 hrs/week, 37.5 hrs/week, 40 hrs/week (with the flexibility of choosing these as per my convenience, of-course without affecting project timelines, max per day limit was 10 hrs.)

Spike

Hi Samurai,

If I am in this situation, I will strongly consider opting for this. However, if you are earning 50 LPA, you will certainly be in a decision making role (at least in a consulting industry), and you would have a role to play in the culture existing in the organisation. Why not put in some effort to make yours a better working world? At least, things will be better in your small pool, and set an example for others to follow - trust me, it works.

Another consideration can be to switch employer and move to a place where people are treated well. You still can earn 50 L with may be 10 hours of effort per day.

On another note, many of us might not have the luxury to cut down salary from 50 LPA. Some would have to do it from 20 LPA or lower, which becomes way too tricky.

Thank you all fellow bhpians for your valuable advice, suggestions and offer for help. I have read through your posts and private messages and am indeed quite touched by the concern shown by all of you. I am very bad with the multi-quote functionality, so will avoid it; but will still try and share my thoughts.

To the esteemed member who said I (the OP) was the root cause; I would say that you are absolutely spot on (and I don't mean that in a sarcastic manner) and I accept that without any defense. Let me elaborate.

I am a person who typically logs off by 9pm. The 9pm time is usually not fixed; things spill over by 15-30 mins. To ensure that I can log off by 9pm I have to log in by 9am. But I have to forego a lot of things; these include having to spend some time with my kid in the morning; not dropping him off to playschool at 10am; avoiding any contact with him during day time (he latches onto my leg and does not let me go if he catches me while I am sneaking off for a bio break), except when he has a fall and bawls at the top of his voice. All this is still acceptable (at least so far). I try to log off by 9pm so that I can have my dinner in peace and spend sometime with him before we try to put him to sleep by 10pm or so. By doing so, I feel that I still have some control over my life and that I am not owned by my office (especially by my despicable boss). But sticking to this 9pm deadline has its costs, especially when things are hectic at work. How do I pay these costs: missing my lunch (30-40 mins is quite a lot of time), reading / reviewing deliverables while having my breakfast (which like my lunch is always alone, in my "office"), skipping my 10-15 minutes nap time, avoiding even looking out of the window to see what's happening 20 floors below).

I always tell my juniors to wrap up their work by 8/8.30pm so that they don't have to stay back late. There are two reasons behind this - (1) My own vested interests, as described above (2) To ensure that they don't have any reason to say that their manager is asking them to work "late" and thus worsen the already bad attrition. There are times (especially since the last 2 months) wherein I have stepped in and done these juniors' work myself because - (1) There wasn't any junior whatsoever (thank you attrition) (2) The junior was serving the notice period and was least interested in ensuring a timely and quality deliverable (doing work by oneself is always preferable to rework at the 11th hour; right?)

So you see, I am helpless either ways. I strive to ensure a good work-life balance just to ensure that I get to spend some quality time with my kid; but I have now realized that I have been damaging my health all this while. Coming to the "ending my life part"; this didn't happen out of the blue after a single incident. I was pushed to that stage over a course of many weeks during Lockdown 1.0. Imagine a scenario wherein a junior tells you: "I will send you this file for review at 12.30am", or "I have to leave now to buy groceries" (on the day the deliverable has to be sent out). Combine that with the fact that HR and superiors have given explicit orders that leniency be shown to all (except oneself, obviously) since people are working from home (and attrition of these juniors is out of control) and have to take care of their family responsibilities. I wholeheartedly agree that I have let a lot of people (my juniors and my boss) take full advantage of me. I am myself to blame (partially) for my current predicament; takes two hands to clap, right? In my defense (a lame one) I will say that I did all this because I had my family commitments (and because I was / am a coward)
Having said the above, I would still insist that some higher-ups could have been more empathetic. But no point bringing up that topic now.

I hope I have been able to provide you more context through the above. But please sir, I am in no way trying to prove you wrong. On the contrary, I agree to each and every line you said. And having this realization dawn on me now, I am determined to correct things before its too late.

To the esteemed member who asked me about the advice given by the neurologist; it is actually quite simple: lower stress, reduce your working hours (imagine the look on my boss' face when I tell this), take up some sport, have some hobby. Following up on this when I resume work will be different altogether. TBH, none of this is new. My father had been telling me for weeks to take up squash since it can be played without a partner. But I kept giving the excuse of my asthma acting up. I had even fancied getting a bicycle some weeks back; but then dropped the idea thinking that it isn't safe given the state of roads in Bombay. I love reading, watching movies; but even during the weekends when I begin to read something like the leisure section of a newspaper or begin browsing through my movie watch list, a guilty feeling starts creeping in: should I watch/read something that will help me professionally (yes, I have been looking for a new job since past few months) or should I be thinking of relaxing now. Even the last few days I have been racked by a guilty feeling: I am spending too many hours sleeping. Why am I being so hard on myself; refer to my (lame) defense above.

Not deflecting the blame; but I feel the Indian culture of hyper competitiveness and the "dog eat dog world" (as one esteemed member pointed out) is responsible for this. During my childhood, my grandfather had this saying for all 4 of us (me, my sibling, our two cousins): padhoge likhoge banoge nawab; kheloge kudoge banoge kharab (study and you will become a king; play and you will become a pauper). Not saying that my parents pushed us towards studies always (far from it, my dad always encouraged us to take up a sport) but the external factors ensured that I became a part of this rat race from childhood itself.

Having said all of the above, I have realized my folly. Still not sure for how long this realization will stick with me. But one thing is for sure; I need to change my attitude towards work-life balance and I have to ensure that I get somewhere different professionally.

Having read some of the stories shared above and through private messages, I feel that I am indeed lucky to have gotten away with a rap on my knuckles. As mentioned earlier, I used to have my morning walks but since yesterday I have restarted my jogging as well (500 meters daily to begin with). The tingling and slight burning sensation has more or less disappeared but the clumsiness in my right side limbs persist. There is also a slight limp (perceivable as well as visible) in my right leg, which wasn't there 1 week back, but I hope to walk-jog it off. I have also started writing (pen on paper) since yesterday to get my right hand used to fine movements. The first time it was quite a task (felt my hand cramp up every 2-3 minutes) but I am sure things will get better.

Coming to the lighter side of things; not sure what's the thing about Goa. But its funny that besides you guys one of my office colleagues (the only one who has bothered to ask me about my health all this while) and my mom also suggested the same. But like all bhpians, all I yearn for is a good long drive. I miss the sound of the iVTEC and the free like a bird feeling that I get when I ride my Dio on the Aarey Forest road. For me its always the journey that matters more than the destination; and the journey always needs to be undertaken in my beloved Jazz. So I look forward to the day when I can do that without being terrified; which I am right now.

Thanks once again, all of you. Stay safe, drive safe; fellow bhpians.

Hello Flanker99

I empathize with the position you feel you're in right now, but having already started thinking about it, you're well on your way out of this well. Many don't get a chance to just pause, breathe, and introspect on where they are and where they're headed. You are incredibly lucky I must say.

I don't really understand how your job works, so I would refrain myself from giving half-baked advice on things I don't understand well; and many others have already offered their valuable two cents.

Relax, and have a good time with the ones you love, after all they are the ones who will bring a smile to your face.

And take that trip to Goa. Let someone else drive this time.

I do not think it is something anyone should consider. For well-paying, white-collar jobs, time-at-work should not be the measure of productivity.

Time-at-work can only be a measure of productivity where the job involves repetitive work or something that requires constant oversight like on a factory floor or even that of a doctor or security guard. This is mostly hands-on work where you have something to do as long as you are at work and you can forget about work when you are done. White collar work, on the other hand, is mostly brain work where competency is more important than hours spent. You, being in the IT industry, surely understand the value of one very good programmer over tens of mediocre ones.

I therefore think it is not about 8 or 16 hours, it is about whether or not the objectives are being achieved. At my organization I make sure NOT to micro-manage. I breakdown our projects into micro-objectives and assign them to employees along with a complete-by date. When they work on it and how they do it, that's up-to them. I just ensure they have all the necessary resources and information required to complete the task. This works quite well provided the employees are competent.

If anyone has to choose between a pay-cut or stress they are doing it wrong. Either they have taken on more than they can handle (this suggests lack of competency) or a poor work culture with unrealistic expectations, in either case the employee should re-evaluate their fitness for the role and their employer.

Dear @Flanker99

Thanks for sharing your situation,

Wishing you a speedy and complete recovery, and that you may emerge stronger than ever!

my two cents
You might want to count your blessings including that you have good medical advise and support of your loved ones
You have good grip/ self realisation of the situation and you have ALL the power to act upon it, to improve same

May the force be with you!

Cheers!
ysjoy

Thank you for sharing. I thoroughly empathise with you and I have a horrible feeling, I am headed down the same path. Thankfully , for the most past, my workplace is not very toxic and people respect each other’s time, though obviously there are a few bad apples. My issue has to do more with the fact that I try to outdo my performance each year and put undue pressure on myself. One of the key issues I believe is financial burdens, especially for those who are not blessed with a large inheritance and need to build assets up for meeting retirement , childrens commitments. At 38, I am already diabetic, have been diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondalytis have ignored my health to a large extent due to work. A friend who lives in the same society (age 40) was unfortunately diagnosed with colon and liver Cancer( stage 4) about 10 months back and in just a span of few months has expired recently. This was a sobering wake up call, life is too fragile. This has forced me to increasingly think towards focusing on my health and family Vs work.

Thanks for sharing everything - it does take courage to share such personal experiences openly in a public forum.

I agree with everyone here that do not sacrifice living for the sake of work. Take a step back if need be but do not burn out.

I will give my own example. Me and my wife had planned to start living after we reached 55. She had 12 hour workdays and me too. Weekends came and went away. My wife passed away in the May of 2022 due to covid even though we were taking all necessary precautions. Stress was I think a factor somewhere. She got admitted to the ICU on 29th of April and passed away on the 9th of May.

Me and my 9 year old daughter never even got to say goodbye. Death is very final and we must make good while we still have to chance to recover. So I have taken a step back. I changed my line of work - although I am still in software development but the stress is less. I had to forego the usual path of career and consequently also had some monetary loss but now I can log off at 07 pm instead of staying on till god knows how late in the night.

I will say take some time to think and plan the next career steps all the while giving priority to home and health. Wish you the very best.

Why someone has to propose that ?

We are hired to any job in India which obeys the employment rules right?
I don't think any firm can recruit any employee to work for more than ~48 hours per week (with few hours here and there or with OT payment)

The CTC offered for any post is for 9hrs a day, it's us who make the habit of over working to meet deadlines instead of being realistic and say NO to non achievable targets.

Correct me if I am wrong.

This forum's reaction for this post may go in any direction but I think this has to be said. Of course it is only based on limited observations and experiences (having lived and worked in 4 continents). So, YMMV.

I have noticed people managers from heavily populated countries (Indians, Asians) where there is a dog-eat-dog competition for everything, tend to exhibit unhealthy behavior at work place - esp. towards resources that work for them.

- The drive / urge to complete what THE boss gave you at whatever cost and make him/happy. There is no effort in validating the question but all efforts are in displaying the results. They drive their own teams based on their urge to satisfy their boss.

- "Yes, Sir, Yes, Sir...." attitude. Exhibit poor skills at the art-of-saying "No". On the other hand they are experts in saying "No" to people that work for them.

- Lack of trust. Micro management. Snooping on your own team members (showing up without notice and staring at the screen - Pre-COVID days, of course!).

- Prioritizing teams growth is never on their radar. They are all about personal growth. "Its all for me and then some....". Stingy toward their own team members --> They would rather give the budgeted/allocated money back to the company than spending it on salary hikes, team's growth.

This is not to say that resources from sparsely populated countries do not exhibit these behaviors. Or may be it was just me that happened to have a bad micro managing Indian / Asian bosses.

In short - I would say this. I enjoyed the rewarding experience of working for non-Indian, non-Asian persons of origin. This played a HUGE role in work related stress and work-life balance in general. I do not have anything good to say about others.

I can fully understand what you are going though. I was in the same situation a few years ago. I had a major stroke, in Oct 2018, at the age of 33. I was in ICU for a few days, though did not require a surgery.

I too was a sole earner, pushing 12-14 hours a day, working India and US hours - usually till midnight/early morning hours almost everyday - in a big 4 consulting firm. On top of that, I was overweight/borderline obese, had quite a few vices and an unhealthy lifestyle.

Well, the episode was an eye opener. I was glad to be alive and decided to make major life adjustments afterwards. My employer was kind enough to give me a month off and another month of very light work duties, remotely. However, as expected work was picking up pace and would have reached the old level soon. Here is what I did/have done since:

1. It took me about 3 months - reached out to all contacts, prepared a bit and switched to a much better job. Better for work life balance, I mean. I did not get any hike for that switch, and there have not been many hikes since, except for this Great Resignation COVID period. However, work life balance is much better. I specifically applied mostly for European companies.
2. Picked up running again after a gap to 7-8 years, and have been able to stick to it so far, thanks to WFH. Found an amazing group of people who I run/cycle with every morning.
3. Dropped most of the vices and have reduced weight.
4. A major pending item in my list of changes is to help my better half become financially independent. Earlier, we both used to brush if off to some future point in our discussions - the kid is too young, family responsibilities are quite high, starting salaries will be too low for too much work, and what not. Now she is actively trying to start something of her own and I am supporting her fully in the endeavour.

It is not to say that there is no stress since I changed jobs. Though there is very less work related stress, I have had major challenges on personal front since then.

Hope this helps. Wishing you a better health and work life balance.