[supremeBaleno]

Nice thread, Harrie.

And Sam, as usual, you embellished it with your pearls of wisdom. Hmm, looks like I am really drunk - cant figure out whether 'embellished' means "adding to" or "reducing from". Anyway, Jap beer is wicked - till yesterday, Asahi meant "glass' to me. Not anymore.

Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi

That colourful creature climbing on the trunk is me.

Apologies, Kapasi-san, but when I saw the pic the first time, I actually thought the colorful creature climbing it is a chameleon. No offense - maybe its just the beer doing its stuff. Or maybe its your shirt.

[mclaren1885]

Originally Posted by supremeBaleno

Apologies, Kapasi-san, but when I saw the pic the first time, I actually thought the colorful creature climbing it is a chameleon. No offense - maybe its just the beer doing its stuff. Or maybe its your shirt.

No SB, its not the beer. A friend sitting next to me said the same too. Though I didn't quite expect that to be The Yeti himself.

Yeti, can I be your PA or something? Except that you will not receive any personal favours from me .

[supremeBaleno]

Oh, OK. So its not just me. So I am qualified sober. Thanks, Rahul.

[Sam Kapasi]

Prosper and Haule were friends. Just about. They needed each other's company, but were both young males, dreaming to dominate the pride and be King.

As they wandered around the African Savannah, they chanced upon 2 lionesses. "Fair game?" wondered Prosper, strapping young Lion with a beautiful blackish mane." I should think so."

Prosper figured that 2 strapping lads walking up might seem inappropriate. Besides, only one young lioness looks like she's interested.

(Storywriter: For those that do not know this, lions are very very, umm, umm, like they have what goats have on their head, you know, like they're very doey, and they can do it more than a 100 times, yes, 100 times a day)

Prosper: "Wait here, Haule. As I am marginally older, it is my right to be with the interested lioness. Wait here, behind the bush and do not come out until I say so"
Haule: (To himself)"Ohhhhhh, Mr.-I-am-marginally-older, this Prosper thinks no end of himself, why the hell do I have to hide here like a rabbit, while he has all the fun"



Sam: (to himself) "I wonder what these big jungle cats are doing here. I am young and extremely stupid. I should stop the jeep and wait here and see what happens."

Prosper doesn't waste much time with his courtship. The other lioness, as he expected, declines to participate and soon Prosper has found Unguru.

Prosper: "How you doin'?"

And with that line, they get down to the old whompity whompity.

(Storywriter: I must point out that Lions are extremely noisy. You know, noisy. Loud. And ummm strong. If there was a fan in the house below, it would have fallen down. Understood?)



Prosper: (singing loudly, very loudly, almost a roar)
" This is how we make the cubs,
make the cubs, make the cubs.
This is how we make the cubs,
all through the day"


Sam: (to Jonathan) "Oh look!! They're, they're... Oh!! Look they're uhh...!"
Jonathan(flatly): "We go Bwana".
Sam: "Jonathan, they're, they're DOING IT!!"
Jonathan" We go NOW, now big trouble, big trouble"
Sam: "Are you mad?? Stay right here?"

Back to the lions:
Haule: (To himself) "How dare he? He's singing loudly and annoying me. I want a piece of the action too, why should I sit here."

Haule steps out!


Unguru Screams! "OMG, there's a strange Lion there!! Watching us!! EEEK!!"

Unguru quickly collects her things and runs, covering her modesty. Prosper is in an awkward poisition, in a prickly bush. He has to walk out backwards. "Why that stupid annoying Haule I'm gonna KILL him!! Ouch, ouch, thorn, ouch, ahh, not there, not there, please god, OUCH"

Prosper: "HAULE, HOW DARE YOU! ROAAARRRRR!"
Haule" "Oh never mind you, Mr.-Big-Shot-how-dare-you, Where's my action!!"

Haule strikes Prosper, Prosper hits Haule. They're fighting and the roars are deafening. They both start running towards my jeep.


Jonathan has turned white. It is extremely difficult for him to do this.
He starts, but takes a little longer to reach for the key, as his eyes are frozen to the spectacle.
I'm cowering inside, have sat down. The 2 males are now fighting within a few feet of the Jeep. I'm too terrified to close the window. I've never seen anything so passionate in africa yet. I can take no more pictures after this, with good reason.

Haule runs! Prosper is too strong for him. Haule runs straight into the back of the jeep! BANG!!!! The whole vehicle rocks hard. He still hasn't realised that it's a Jeep with humans inside.

Jonathan is invoking every spirit in wild africa as his hands close on the key!. Vrooom!! God bless the reliable Defender 110.

Both lions freeze, startled by the sound. They were so engrossed in the fight, neither had noted the Jeep, right in front of them. They both snarl and now run towards the Jeep, enraged!!

Jonathan floors it, my eyes are shut tight for the next few minutes. I suspect Jonathan's eyes are shut too.


The End

Don't do it boys. let the wild animals make their whappa whappa bompity bomp in peace. It's nature's way of making small wild animals. Learn from my mistakes. If you see an umm... uneasy lion, around a few lionesses, don't stop. Don't talk. Don't take photos.

Just keep driving as fast as you possibly can!!



Tomorrow: Ungulate Stories, When to HONK HONK, and when not to

[typeOnegative]

Nice nice. LOL, Sam you are a riot.

[esteem_lover]

Originally Posted by supremeBaleno

Oh, OK. So its not just me. So I am qualified sober. Thanks, Rahul.

Living without the spouse, are we ? Things certainly look lopsided & funny all the time, right ?

Don't do it boys. let the wild animals make their whappa whappa bompity bomp in peace. It's nature's way of making small wild animals. Learn from my mistakes. If you see an umm... uneasy lion, around a few lionesses, don't stop. Don't talk. Don't take photos.

Did you say, 'Dont do it Boys' ?? Man, thats bad.

[supremeBaleno]

O.T.:

Originally Posted by esteem_lover

Living without the spouse, are we ?

Yeah, the fun part of travelling on business, john. Let me make the most of it while it lasts.

[dadu]

Originally Posted by supremeBaleno

Or maybe its your shirt.

Yeah! I thought that too, but its the checkered shirt which causes this confusion.

[Sam Kapasi]

Don't stop.


Wait till he crosses, it's his jungle, not yours


Honk if you need to go through.


Honk Honk!!


Please don't honk, please don't honk!!


Don't stop, it's a buffet and you're not invited. Not as the guest anyways.


Can Hug


Cannot Hug


Don't flirt with Masai lady


unless you can buy her dad a cow in the morning (Old jungle saying)


I am sorry about the poor pictures. Taken with a simple point-and-shoot film camera and badly preserved photos that I have just scanned yesterday.

Harrie, I am sorry for hijacking your wonderful thread. One more post about rhinos and giraffes and I am out of here. Forgive me my stupid excesses.

[mclaren1885]

that was beautiful indeed sam. "Can Hug" & "Cannot Hug". Really well put.

Don't worry Harrie will be glad that you did hijack his thread.

[ajmat]

Note the gogs- Sam is a geek

Now I understand what your love of hugging animals led to !!

Can and Cannot - last syllable dropped

[hydrashok]

What do you do if you're confronted with the Yeti?

PS: Great snaps, Sam! You look so different and ummm... uhhhhh... innocent?

[Steeroid]

Great wildlife guide there, Sam. I guess it takes one to know one...

[Sam Kapasi]

Originally Posted by ajmat

Note the gogs- Sam is a geek

lol ajmat Those are glasses. Numbered glasses to counteract my then myopia. I used to wear contact lenses, but to wear those and travel through africa would have been stupid.

Since then, the magic of laser surgery has got rid of my vision defect.

[Sam Kapasi]

Rhino:
It is indeed a pleasure to see this great Dinosaur type creature in the wild. Remember, there are NOT too many left.

When you see the Rhinoceros, look first at it's mouth, back and horns. If it's one small, one disctinctively large horn, a large hump on the back and a wide mouth, you have encountered a white Rhino. Good.
Stay in your car and take a few photos.
White Rhino's are gentle and not aggressive. Stay in your car and they won't bother with you. Seeing a crash of white rhinos is difficult, but not impossible.





If you see a marginally smaller, sometimes darker crash, with no hump and 3 horns and a small mouth. Go go go. The Black Rhino is just mad. Aggressive and crazy for no reason. And bloody strong. They just charge head on for no reason, lol.


Hippopotamus:

Happy lovable cute hippos. Gentle and calm. NOT!!!!

Hippos are bloody mad, aggressive and super Dangerous!!!! Can kill you in less than a few seconds. Sure, it won't eat you afterwards, but what difference will that make if you're dead?

My advice? Stay away from water that has a school of hippos in it..


Cannot swim

Next: Last but not the least, the beautiful Giraffe.