[UD17]

Originally Posted by Malyaj

Stay away from LinkedIn.

+1, I would rather say stay away from any toxic social media.

As you said, 'Overthinking' is the real root cause behind so called 'mid life crisis'. Sometimes i do not understand these term at all for good. I, myself am in this same bracket and i do not see any reason to create artificial anxiety.

Human is s strange creature, as we can get anxiety by the past decisions as well as by future imagination.

[dragonfire]

A few days ago I was thinking about starting a very similar thread - What is the purpose of life? Why are we here in this world? To work, procreate and leave?

This thought came into my mind when I had to stay away from my family for about a week for work. I had not stayed away from them for the last 5 years. I was yearning for a break and I jumped at the opportunity when I was asked to travel for 4 weeks. In a week, I was done. Family and work were the only two things in my mind and deeds - and apart from that isn't there anything that a man can do?

I cut short my stay and am back home now, but it has got me thinking. Is this what we are made for? Work, procreate and leave? What is this live for?

It has got me depressed.

[The Observer]

Originally Posted by Livnletcarsliv

Being in the corporate world, most of the time I am lost in thoughts thinking

1. Needs and expenses until retirement
2. Life after retirement.
3. Needs and expenses after retirement
4. Growth in career and make the most money from now until retirement
5. Higher studies that elevate my profile and induce my fast growth (Probably MBA). Again is the money (10's of lakhs) worth the investment?
6. The medical field is getting so advanced, that it keeps increasing not only our longevity but also making us more fit in old age. This means our needs and activities do slow down drastically after retirement from private employment.
7. Alternative plans/ideas to move away from being employed to becoming an entrepreneur.
8. Do I have any business ideas? What is the business problem that I am going to address?

What is your take on this crisis? What did you do to successfully overcome this crisis (if you have already crossed)? How did you avoid this crisis - if you did? What you could have done better/earlier to avoid this crisis? What is your plan to avoid this crisis (if you have any)? What is your advice to people who are about to enter and people like me who are struck? Is there any formula to overcome this? What are the action items that you recommend to overcome this crisis?

Highly recommend a simple financial plan be made for retirement and stick to the discipline of investing regularly for the same. Recommend reading the book "Psychology of Money" by Morgan Housel.

Like some members have already said, focus on your health and wellbeing with topmost priority.

Higher studies is your personal decision basis how much you already make, opportunity cost of the time you spend studying, cost of education and finally, opportunities that will open up after graduation, if not near term atleast in the medium term. Generally speaking it does help to have a PG degree if, you are aiming for a top position but, this is not true in all cases.

Since you are in sales, I would recommend attending trade shows/exhibitions in the domains that you are passionate about to keep yourself aware of new developments, which may in turn lead you to new opportunities. Many experienced folks are now into corporate training/coaching and helps them leverage their knowledge as well as bring in some form of earnings.

All the best.

[Ganapathy]

Originally Posted by Ferruccio

These rules worked taking me past half-century. I am no Guru, nor super sorted. Perhaps they will work for you

Wow You've covered everything. Very well presented.

[Sounak]

Originally Posted by Malyaj

Stay away from LinkedIn.

+1 on the advise to stay away from Linkedin or any other intellectually inclined Social Media sites.

My take is to accept 'Life' the way it is. In that way you keep things simple, do not over complicate things.

[howler]

As somebody already pointed out - simplify you life. It brings great peace to understand how little you need to enjoy life. The underlying fact of having a job that pays for the basics goes without saying - I’m advocating trimming the fat. For eg; instead of buying a new car , I have gone old school and bought a used 4x4 Toyota that will probably outlast me( no gizmos and electronics), always but my phone , shoes etc on sale and I’m on the way to selling most of my bikes. I have deleted all my social media presence 4 years ago and don’t miss it one bit , I usually avoid reading the news, and I avoid extremely career oriented people in my life. Get healthy and get your hands dirty learning physical skills , be it a sport or life skills like woodworking . It will do wonders for your confidence and self worth , more than our bank balances , and whatever happens - do not binge on sugar if you’re feeling low.
And finally if you can , adopt a pet that needs a home - they are a blessing.

[lordtottuu]

Oh lord, I really needed this thread as someone who constantly has had existential thoughts. I turned 34 last week and all of it just feels… overwhelming?

Pointless isn’t the word I’d use, but something close to it? Daily life often feels like Sisyphus toiling over the boulder. And yes, I’ve read your go-to tomes on Absurdism. And yes, I work out — weights thrice a week, something cardio 4-5 times a week.

Sometimes you just look at your life from a very disconnected, third party perspective and can’t help but feel, “is this all life has to offer?” Work, do the customary twice a year vacations, retire?

I bought myself the F10 at 25 to tide myself over a quarter life crisis which seemingly never seems to have stopped. Hopefully, I find better ways to deal with this avalanche of thoughts when I turn 35, 45, and further on.

[download2live]

Originally Posted by The Observer

Recommend reading the book "Psychology of Money" by Morgan Housel.

He writes a blog too. If you subscribe you get an email every Sunday on the stuff he writes about. Absolute goldmine of Economy, Life and History merged together in a heady mix.

I also keep a copy of sayings of the Warren Buffet. He has said more about life than finances !

I am not sure if this is classified as a mid-life crisis but I picked up Guitar as my unfinished business. 3rd time.

[RunGaDa]

Reading all the responses only underlines the fact the Team-BHP is a treasure trove of Wise people. There’s hardly anything to add, but will write using my personal experience.
In my late 20s I was lucky to meet an amazing guy. He was not very old, he was 35 that time, but boy when he spoke I can tell he had lived a very happening life. He gave me an advice for later years.
“Have a skill, hobby, liking or chore which you will like to practice daily, something which no person will be able to take away from you, no matter what or when.”
His sentence made a deep impact. I had a knack for writing and gifted with some skills for writing poetry. I opened the doors of my mind. It’s something which connects me to my true self. I believe there’s always something with each one of us who can tap it and never get bored a single day.
Thanks for picking up the topic. Great brain storming.

[fordday]

Originally Posted by Malyaj

Stay away from LinkedIn.

This line should be written in 24k gold.

If I may be allowed to add to the list Facebook, Insta, Twitter basically all of SM.

But I use Whatsapp very much for communication, no reading of silly forwards.

[racer_sk]

Hi All! Very valid points raised by OP and thanks for creating this thread. I am also on the other side of 30s now and thinking of same questions that @Livnletcarsliv has raised.

We are caught up in between living life day by day vs planning for future. I guess biggest worry everyone has is planning for retirement and managing all expenses till your kids start earning on their own mainly from Education perspective. These I am sure will be followed by other aspirations likes Material Possessions, Real Estate, Travel and what not. Being petrol head ourselves, I am sure many people here would have Cars and travel on their mind as well.

Its really difficult to find what you are really living for. Are you living for Weekends, for those periodic vacations or just gathering latest gadgets. What happens when you retire you just give all these up. My biggest pet peeve right now has become slog all weekdays to live for the weekend. Our day to day life is structured in a way that its difficult to break this cycle.

Really would like to here from seasoned members on how they got to other side.

[surfatwork]

My mid life crisis hit me hard when I was 37, having spent many years as a management consultant. So I quit and started an adventure tourism company (MuddyBoots Vacations). My learnings
1. Building a company from scratch takes a crazy amount of effort, time and commitment. You'll work harder than you ever have, so if you don't really love what you are doing, it's a problem
2. Money will drain out faster than oil from a leaky engine. You won't make money for some years - make sure you have a plan for that (either lots of savings, or an alternate income source)
3. You will eat humble pie. Many times. By our mid 30s, many would have reached mid or senior positions in corporates, and have got used to overt respect/status. All of that will vanish - you don't have a visiting card from a big corporate anymore.
4. You will realize that you are now entirely responsible for your employees. Your primary responsibility is to make sure you pay their salaries on time every month - they and their families depend on you.

But on the flip side
5. Hopefully, you'll eventually come good. And that feels fantastic. Especially when you realize that it's you, and not you+big corporation behind you.

A partner can be helpful, but be careful. Many friends who become partners don't remain friends - the initial years of toil and hardship make huge demands and not all make it. I didn't.

[ajp2]

Mid life crisis - a word present only in English language ( no other language in my limited knowledge uses such a term!); when we look up this term or talk about it, things such as - self confidence/self worth, money management and emotional crisis become obvious. These are words that make people worry even more!

Financial take -

Money is an important aspect of life where many hesitate to ask for help; getting professional advice (especially on retirement planning) really takes mental stress out of the equation. We can use the time to focus on other aspects that matter!

Philosophical take on mention - "lost" in "thoughts" "thinking"...

When i saw this, recollect what a close friend of mine mentioned - "mind is like a machine, either you take control of it or it takes control of you".. this is easier said than done! when we realize this and take required steps, one can see that "this too shall pass"

[V.Narayan]

^^^^^^

Thank you @surfatwork.

A most sensible and honest post full of reality checks of becoming an entrepreneur and understanding the responsibilities an employer and job creator shoulder that most employees, even the very senior ones don't grasp. This post should be copied and pasted in the Jobs and Attrition threads as a valuable piece of information of the view from the other side.

Several of us have tried to share on those threads that to progress in your career (job or business) you can't let things like 'bad boss' or 'heartless employer' derail you. The challenges and emotional wrenching an entrepreneur faces is literally 10X or 20X what an employee faces.

- An entrepreneur and employer

[rajwheelz]

Been there, In it right now, and navigating it successfully. Touching 50 next year.

If it should help the OP and whomever else is going through this mid-life stuff, nothing makes me more happier.

What worked for me was hope and absolute unconditional openness and welcoming attitude to the future. I strongly believe that acceptance of a seemingly unrelated event can have life changing events happening. Below is one among the many I encountered in my life.

Circa 1996, I was supposed to travel from Hyderabad to Goa with a B.Tech in Civil Eng.. and a job offer in hand from a construction company (The name I forget). A turn of events saw me visiting my brother in Bangalore before going to Goa. A chance, trust me, a chance look at the newspaper made me go to shivajinagar and within 2 days, I saw myself in front of a computer, training myself to be an application developer. The training institute placed me with IBM within 6 months of training. Well 'C' and 'Unix' was my call and not Bricks and Mortar.

For 25 years that one decision fed me well, clothed me and sheltered me and my family. And I love my work.

What would I do post 58 years? I have plans but will not fret if they don't work. Something will "Just Click".

Cheers guys ! Life begins now. Don't have frown lines already