[SnaazTee]

Forget your TO-DO list | Work on your TO-BE list as much as your TO-DO list.



Doing nothing is happiness for children and misery for old men.” ~ Victor Hugo.

I personally like the process of ticking something off my to-do list like many of us, and if I sit down to think why is it that I like it, the probable reasons would be :

• A sense of accomplishment it brings along
• The structure it brings to my day
• Better time management
• With the written down tasks, there is less to hold in the head, as a result one can prioritize tasks which leads to less anxiety for me.

While I am no expert, I would say I have benefitted immensely from keeping these to-do lists and few things that have worked for me are:

• Being realistic and not beating myself up by taking too much on my plate, I would start slow and gradually build it up to a comfortable level.
• Chunking work and being specific
• Having limited tasks to avoid scatterbrain
• Last but not the least, being easy on myself and accepting that it's ok to not be able to accomplish everything on my to-do list every day. Next morning is when I look at the previous day’s list and carry forward

I usually try and get my to-do list organized before I finish work for the day.
Below is an example of my to-do list for tommorow:

• Schedule a call with Priya to confirm the next steps of our project
• Finalise the presentation skills deck
• Reminder to a client about GST screenshot
• Chase Preet for weekly reports
• Clear my emails
• Brainstorm with Sia for her upcoming Diwali marketplace at school

I am sure everyone's to-do list follows similar patterns, whether professional or personal.

We make To-Do lists, and yet has anyone ever created a To-Be list? We are human beings, not human doings, so why do we forget that being is as important as doing?

We add grocery shopping to our To-Do list, as well as creating a list of people to call. We add exercise and administration, cleaning and proposals.
But what about You amongst all of that? Where are you, the Being behind the Doing? How are you feeling, how are you being, while you do?

Unlike a To-Do list, a To-Be list helps me decide how I would like to show-up in life (this can be short-term or long-term). It also guides me to become the person I aspire to become by aligning my actions with my values. Or, simply put, it's to do with what qualities I want to inculcate, how I want to show up, and what parts of myself I want to bring forward in any situation.

Focusing on being, changes what you do, but it first requires us to know who we want to be.



I usually start my day with a to-be list, as it reminds me and sets me up for a successful day (productive and calm, with a manageable level of stress, and a feeling of wellbeing overall).

This is what my To- be list looks like today:

• Ensuring to get in my 10,000 steps during the entire day for my "fitness" goals.
• Mindful of my breathing patterns during the course of the day.
• Being patient and calm while driving amidst crazy traffic sense that people have.
• Managing fair boundaries by also learning to say no politely.
• Being an attentive listener.

What would you put in your To-Be list, if you made one?

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Happy Being everyone

[Omkar]

Thread moved out from the Assembly Line to Shifting Gears. Thanks for sharing!

[subraiyr]

This is an interesting topic. I did not consider the name To Be list, but I have something quite similar that helps me be rooted in life. As you progress in life, I think it is very important to have something that can help you hold up your values/belief systems and make you a better person. Some of the stuff I have on the list which of course is in my mind and not on paper

1. Meditation and Prayer every day
2. Spending at least an hour with family where I just listen and interact with my missus and be a child with my children
3. Did I learn something new this week - maybe it is from someone who has more experience than me or maybe it's from someone younger than me. E.g. I learned the art of apologizing from the heart, from my son who was about 8 years old then
4. Have I contributed to society for the week - It could be anything from sustainability to education or being someone's crutch/shoulder
5. Have I given myself enough time to nurture and grow

[GTO]

Quite a thought-provoking topic

I am someone who lives by his to-do list. I thrive on a big to-do list. Had never heard of a to-be list before, but here is my 2 paise:

- To become slimmer. I am stronger than I was 10 years ago, but a gym injury and some excesses put my weight off track. Need to shed those kilos.

- Fun! I want to play as hard as I work.

- Be more charitable. I already help the underprivileged here & there, but I want to make it a bigger, more concerted effort.

- Richer . Love making money, want to make more money!

- Over the last 4 years, thanks to meditation & maturity, I have worked on being calmer. Earlier, I used to yell once every day or two. Was like a hot head roaming around. Now, it's more like once in 3 months or so. I get the same results, without yelling or losing my cool.

[warrioraks]

We live in complicated times. The abundances and economic prosperity did not yield the promised land. A higher salary, good car and a house which was supposed to be end goal doesn't seem like the peak of happiness it once was. The real reason in my opinion is excessive worry. We always find something to worry about, no matter what the situation.

So my To-Be list would be to a worry-optimized individual, if that is a word. Worry enough to manage your survival but beyond that, let it go!

[alpha1]

Originally Posted by SnaazTee

Forget your TO-DO list | Work on your TO-BE list as much as your TO-DO list.

Unlike a To-Do list, a To-Be list helps me decide how I would like to show-up in life (this can be short-term or long-term). It also guides me to become the person I aspire to become by aligning my actions with my values. Or, simply put, it's to do with what qualities I want to inculcate, how I want to show up, and what parts of myself I want to bring forward in any situation.

It is quite amusing to observe that as a small kid we all have a "to be" list that we place greater importance than the "to do" list.
But while growing up we actually tend to become so petty with our goals that our self-esteem is defined by quantifiable minutiae, we create thousands of "to do" but not rise up above this drudgery, and actually forget entire about the "to be" goals.

Thanks to you for this thread to awaken us from the stupor of earning our daily breads (and trying to amass conveniences and luxuries), to provoke us to begin thinking about goals related to becoming a certain person rather than a few metrics.

-x-

Pardon me, but the first point of your "to-be" list is a "to-do" point only.

[Omkar]

Great topic! I guess everyone has thought about certain things that they want to be in life, but those are just thought clouds. Never really thought about listing them out in a 'To-Be' list before. Here is my list -

• To Be Healthy - I am currently the healthiest I have been in years. I work out 4/5 days a week, focusing on weight training and cardio. My family's medical history isn't that great, so I want to maintain my health as much as possible. Don't have workout goals, other than being consistent and showing up at the gym.

• To Be a Better Cook - Covid was when I realised the importance of cooking. That is when I started making an effort to help out in the kitchen and start cooking some simple things. Now I can cook a meal for myself. But I want to be more efficient and diverse in cooking.

• To Be Mindful - The older I get, the more I try to stay away from my phone as much as possible. I believe it's the biggest distraction these days. I want to be more present with friends and family.

• To make more money - This may sound shallow, but money makes some things easier. Basically, I don't want to be in a situation where money is a big hurdle. Also want to be better at managing finances.

[AMG Power]

According to most folks, luxury is expensive cars, designer clothes, large houses and a lavish lifestyle.

But the real luxuries in life are slow mornings, freedom to choose, a good nights sleep, peace of mind, calm days and being present with people you love who love you back.

My goal is to be able to enjoy the real luxuries in life and I work towards that.

[shankar.balan]

Lovely thread.
Good Health and Time are the Greatest Luxuries of all.
In the blind pursuit of material trappings to the exclusion of all else, one is no more than a Lemming, hurtling towards that metaphorical and literal cliff.

I’d like to be able to stay true to the proper value systems and standards of behaviour and conduct and ensure that I fulfil whatever duties of care I need to discharge.

The Importance of the following cannot be over-emphasised.
Family and Friends (and Pets) (without whom we are as nothing), Colleagues (especially those for whom I am responsible) and my Customers (without whose support we would not see any success).

Most of all, when one is no longer with an organization and is absolutely bereft of any kind of ‘prop’ such as a Visiting Card, if one’s former colleagues or customers or acquaintances, still greet one with real pleasure if and when one encounters them, then that is the real measure of what one has left behind.

In the final summation; there comes to mind this brilliant Poem - translated into English from the original Anglo-Saxon.

It is called Bede’s Death Song.
Translated by the Scholar, Michael Alexander.
Human Frailty is beautifully expressed in it.

“Before that necessary journey, no man is wiser in thought than he needs to be, to think, before he goes from here, about what of his spirit, of good or of evil, will be judged after his death-day.”

[Aakash]

I’ve got some major career and life changes lined up in my to do list.

Most part of my barely adult life, I’ve had a 6-month plan of action. I lineup my goals and get it working towards the end of the designated 6-month deadline. It always got my lazy butt up for those goals.

Now my to-do list for the next 6 months would be:

• Move out of Canada by November. Already booked my tickets so I guess that’s a start. Canada has given me what I wanted. Education and a relatively good bank balance to fund my next move.

• Spend some time with my folks and family. I’ve been away for 2 years. Time to go slow and enjoy some time with them.

• Travel India in my Humblebee (my i10)

• Move to the Middle East to pursue a career in my industry. I’m 23 and it’s time I got back to the workforce I specialized in.

The plans are in motion so fingers crossed it comes into fruition

[NiInJa]

Nice topic!
My philosophical answer is: I don't 'want' to be, I am exactly what I need to be.
It is a never ending quest to be honest for normal humans, we never really become something or someone, as humans, we adapt to situations and surroundings.

I had a lot of 'to-be' goals till April 2022 when Covid-19 hit me real hard and it simply changed the way of how I approach life. Life is funny, one day you are celebrating your 4 year old kid's birthday, ten days later you are struggling to breathe and just looking at the him wondering if this is the last few hours you get to see him
Scratched out all the- 'to-be at some higher place in corporate world', 'to be rich with X amount in the bank by Y years' - aims I had.

My to be list is much simplified now.
To be able to make most of whatever is available at the moment.
To be fit enough to travel places, enjoy pleasures of all senses and endure pain as well.
To be able to express feelings to people who matter the most.
To take efforts to stay connected with friends and family.

All other things: earning and saving money, eating food are actions I take to make above possible or easy.

[PrasannaDhana]

Just two


1. To be Healthy
2. To be Kind

[Mystic]

Very good thread. I was thinking of an answer to this million dollar question long back in my life and now this no longer bothers me anymore. What is the ideal TO-BE?

Now I don't have any TO-DO or TO-BE per se but that does not mean that I don't follow the TO-DO list posted on the Refrigerator by my wife for the whole family which mentions that I need to bring vegetables from farmers market every sunday.

I already shared some of my thoughts on another thread about myself doing NOTHING now.

India is a country of great Philosophers.
They had already given an answer to the million dollar question. My grand father when he was young had an encounter with Ramana Maharishi in this regard.

“That there cannot be any valid answers because you don’t have valid questions.”

Originally Posted by Mystic

For want of a better word, I coined the word NOTHING in capitals and don't take the literal dictionary meaning. I will try my best to articulate in some way

https://cisindus.org/indic-varta-int...omes%20to%20us

[vj_torqueaddict]

To do and To be kind of go hand in hand , isnt it ? You have "to do" something "to be" something.

Here is mine, I want to be :
* Grateful. Practice gratitude on daily basis.
* Stoic.

[iampulo]

Originally Posted by GTO

Quite a thought-provoking topic

I am someone who lives by his to-do list. I thrive on a big to-do list. Had never heard of a to-be list before, but here is my 2 paise:


- Be more charitable. I already help the underprivileged here & there, but I want to make it a bigger, more concerted effort.


.

I have been trying hard to stick to my daily ritual of making a to-do list and then abide by it. But it has been only to office work till date and after every few days, i tend to loose track to keep doing it.

Would like to know 1. How do you make the to-do: pen/paper or some productivity apps? 2. Do you have both life and office to-do?

I am also an inspiring philanthropist, but obviously I need to earn more first to secure my stabilize my future first.