While going through some other sites on the Internet, i came across some very awesome quotes/sayings/one liners related to cars. So compiling it in one thread and sharing it on Team-BHP.
Sources:
1.
Performance Forums
2.
Good Reads
3.
Ride Lust
Mods: If similar thread exists, please merge/delete. I could'nt find it while searching.
"You can't make a race car out of a pig. But you can make a VERY fast pig".
A bad day at the race track beats a good day at the office anytime.
Racing is the constant search for the weakest link. –Duane Bailey
If everything seems to be in control, you're not going fast enough. - Mario Andretti
You show me a racer that says that he's never forgotten to tighten his lug nuts, and I'll show you a liar.
No matter how fast you think your race car is, if you look at it long enough ... a fly will come and land on it.
Guys, you can date whomever you want, but marry a girl who can back up a trailer. - Michael Martin
Murphy
Speed costs money. How fast do you want to go?
It is more fun to drive a slow car fast than to drive a fast car slow. - Abner Perney
If lightning strikes while you're in the car it's your fault. – Doc Bundy
Duct tape is The Force: It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
Better to be a racer for a moment then a spectator for a lifetime.
Hands OFF the steering wheel when a meeting with the tire wall is imminent.
It's not how FAST you drive - it’s how you drive FAST.
To win is to drive as slowly as possible without relinquishing the lead.
The ideal race car will expire 100 yards past the finish line. - Stirling Moss
The racing driver needs to be fed a diet of other racing drivers. - Carroll Smith
I know what's wrong, and if I could find it, I'd fix it.
You can't make a race horse out of a pig. But if you work hard enough at it you can make a mighty fast pig. - Bob Akin
If a part can be installed incorrectly, it will be. - Murphy's Law
Murphy was an optimist. - Cohen's Corollary
We all have one thing in common: the relentless pursuit of grip.
To finish first you must first finish.
Racing ... it's life. Everything that comes before or after is just waiting. -Michael Delaney (Steve McQueen in "LeMans")
Friends don't let friends apex early.
Oversteer scares passengers, understeer scares drivers.
If I had all the money I'd spent on cars ... I'd spend it all on cars. - Scott Fisher
Straights are for fast cars. Turns are for fast drivers.
Racing is the process of turning money into noise.
Racing costs today exactly the same as it did twenty years ago ... it takes every penny you have.
"Gotta work on the nut behind the wheel before you start fixing bolts on the car".
"Racing makes Heroin addiction look like a vague wish for something salty." -- Peter Egan
Colin Chapman: Simplify, then add lightness
Roger Penske: the harder you work, the luckier you become
Jackie Stewart: It is not always possible to be the best, but it is always possible to improve your own performance
When you think you know it all, it's a sure sign you don't
The best way to make a small fortune in racing is to start with a large one and work down from there
On racers that favored implementation of restrictor plates:
"If they don't want to go that fast, all they have to do is lift...and somebody better tie a kerosene soaked wrag around their legs to keep the ants from eating their candy a$$!"
As an instructor getting into a car for the first session with a student:
"don't try and impres me, you won't." "don't try and scare me, I already am."
"Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers." -Colin McRae
"It's not a throttle-it's a detonator." -Jeremy Clarkson
"Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines." -Enzo Ferrari
"Racing is the best way to convert money into noise" - unknown
"To finish first, you must first finish" – unknown
Oversteer is hitting the wall with the back of the car,
understeer is hitting the wall with the front...
Newman's first law: It is useless to put on your brakes when you're upside down. -Paul Newman
If the car feels like it is on rails, you are probably driving too slow. -Ross Bentley
Horsepower is how fast you hit the wall.
Torque is how far you take the wall with you.
"Cheap, fast and reliable. Pick two."
"Racing ... because golf, football, and baseball only require one ball." – Anonymous
Racing costs today exactly the same as it did twenty years ago.. it takes every penny you have.
- Unknown
I was doing fine until about mid-corner when I ran out of talent
- Unknown
Juan Manuel Fangio:
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
Mario Andretti
“If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.”
"If you don't come walking back to the pits every once in a while holding a steering wheel in your hands, you're not trying hard enough"
"It is amazing how may drivers, even at the Formula One Level, think that the brakes are for slowing the car down."
I KNOW I'm the slowest part on the car.
"Never run out of real estate, ideas and traction at the same time." - seen on a Track Daze T-shirt
"Oh yes. It's not when you brake but when you take them off that counts. Most people don't understand that." - Jackie Stewart
"Cornering perfectly is like bringing a woman to climax.” - Jackie Stewart
"He who turns least wins." Ross Bentley
Poverty is owning a racecar. (bumper sticker)
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and well-preserved piece...but to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out, and defiantly shouting "wow, what a ride." (On the back of a race car trailer somewhere).
"Here, hold my beer" - anybody before doing something arguably awesome
Wide open until you see God, then brake – unknown
Speed costs, how fast do you want to go?
Friend of mine used to say: "Hang on, saw this in a cartoon, I think I can pull it off."
“Money may not buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
“Always focus on the front windshield and not the review mirror.” ― Colin Powell
“It was like being in a car with the gas pedal slammed down to the floor and nothing to do but hold on and pretend to have some semblance of control. But control was something I'd lost a long time ago.”
“People can have the Model T in any color – so long as it’s black.” ― Henry Ford
“The engine of my car is so powerful I could wash dishes under the hood. But that’d be pretty absurd, since I keep the dishwasher in the trunk.
”
Jeremy Clarkson’s Most Awesome Quotes Ever
1. “I’d like to consider Ferrari as a scaled down version of God.”
2. [On the Porsche Boxster] “It couldn’t pull a greased stick out of a pig’s bottom.”
3. [When driving the Mercedes SLR McLaren through a tunnel] “When they debate as to what the sound of the SLR engine was akin to, the British engineers from McLaren said it sounded like a Spitfire. But the German engineers from Mercedes said ‘Nein! Nein! Sounds like a Messerschmitt!’ They were both wrong. It sounds like the God of Thunder, gargling with nails.”
4. “I’m sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you’ve got even half a scrotum it’s not going to happen.”
5. “Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary… that’s what gets you.”
6. “Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what… being stabbed?”
7. [On Detroit] “God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did this place.”
8. “Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.”
9. [On the Renault Clio V6] “I think the problem is that it’s French. It’s a surrendermonkey.”
10. [On the Enzo Ferrari] “I rang up Jay Kay, who’s got one, and said: “Can we borrow yours?” and he said, “Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.”
11. [On the Porsche Cayenne] “I’ve seen gangrenous wounds better looking than this!”
12. “The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw.”
13. “Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off.”
14. “If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.”
15. “That [Pagani] Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.”
16. [On a Chevrolet Corvette] “The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”
17. [On the Alfa Romeo Brera] “Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you?”
18. “A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster.”
19. “This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!’”
20. “In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled – usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.”
21. [On the Mercedes CLS55 AMG] “It sounds like Barry White eating wasps.”
22. “I’d rather go to work on my hands and knees than drive there in a Ford Galaxy. Whoever designed the Ford Galaxy upholstery had a cauliflower fixation. I would rather have a vasectomy than buy a Ford Galaxy.”
23. “Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.”
24. “Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It’s like making a hardcore adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You’d just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke’s sweaty face.”
25. “I don’t understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?”