[aaggoswami]

Originally Posted by manikjeet

i would suggest you get big heavy rocks and place them on the road during the night

I have mentioned above : if I place them, dogs come in and do damage in our compound.

Originally Posted by Thad E Ginathom

If it is a public street, then it is public. If it is a private street, then a gate would be a nice idea, but all the residents would have to agree, and it doesn't sound like mutual agreement is their thing,

If others in the street are stopping your friends parking, but expect to be able to use 'your' patch, then, yes, I appreciate your frustration.

What a pity everyone in your street can't realise that the street belongs to all.

Exactly, that's the reason for frustration. Here, for people, internet = " who needs this ", bigger house = " very rich, extract max money from him ", bigger car = " tax him more ", etc. We cant help. Personally, I believe that if my father had less social responsibility at this point of time, then I would convince him to sell off this house and leave for a better place.

[vivekiny2k]

Originally Posted by aaggoswami

Sir I request you to look into images again. If people manage to park this way and if this way is legal, then in a similar fashion, even I can park in front of their homes, Right ?
IMHO, the way they are parking, it is disturbing my approach and this is bad.
OK, if this was possible in India, we would have implemented this. We are not even able to get a properly paved road as people who have done encroachment are avoiding municipal co-operation through influence.

ok, I understand that you have faced problems with ur friend parking and getting similar treatment from neighbors. I think you have bigger problems with them than just the parking, but let's focus on the parking only here.

I was just trying to make sure we are not giving advice to encroach on public road. with all your society members, you need to first figure out if it's public place or not. if yes, then your guests have equal rights. if not, then mark all road as no parking and go for hard approach below.

I have following suggestions.

1. soft approach: put a board saying this is a house, and has an entrance for big cars at the gate, please do not park beyond the yellow marker else you will be reminded by poster at your windshield that you are blocking my entrance. in the worst case we will break the window, relase the parking brake and push you car back as far as needed to get our car out.

2. hard approach. call traffic police to see if they can fine and tow a vehicle blocking entrance. see if private towing can work. mention some of it in point 1 above.

3. for your guests parking try to catch some culprits and ask why they are claiming public roads. just make sure you don't block their entrance. I am sure all of this may have happened with no results, but try a sensible approach with a hard approach to back it up.

my point is if you disfigure their cars and they disfigure yours, all we will be left with is a lot of disgifured cars.

[yzfrj]

I agree with vivekiny2k.

A more "soft" approach will and usually does yield a better outcome.
Being rude to the guy who is parking on the side of the road might not the the right approach.

This is what I've seen on roads, parking lots etc.
Most guys just park and go and are least bothered how they have parked,
is this car/bike blocking another car/bike.

This is a case of carelessness mostly, lot of my friends used to do this. When I told them, "can't you see you are blocking the other guy's car" they say I did't notice and will park properly. Some say, I don't care, then I ask, "what if the next guy parks like this ? How will we take our car out ?" He "gets" the point and park the car as it should be parked.

Request the guy who is parking in front of the gate/near to the gate.
Tell him why you are requesting, and please don't "ask" him.

Be nice and in this "hi-tech" world IMO you will get a 95% positive reply.
But in some cases, people are just too self absorbed, so just smile and leave him with his bad deeds. No point shouting and "making" him understand.

Disfigure cars ?? Sacrilege...!
Love thy neighbors car as you love yours.

[aaggoswami]

Originally Posted by vivekiny2k

I was just trying to make sure we are not giving advice to encroach on public road. with all your society members, you need to first figure out if it's public place or not. if yes, then your guests have equal rights. if not, then mark all road as no parking and go for hard approach below.



1. soft approach: put a board saying this is a house, and has an entrance for big cars at the gate, please do not park beyond the yellow marker else you will be reminded by poster at your windshield that you are blocking my entrance. in the worst case we will break the window, relase the parking brake and push you car back as far as needed to get our car out.

2. hard approach. call traffic police to see if they can fine and tow a vehicle blocking entrance. see if private towing can work. mention some of it in point 1 above.

3. for your guests parking try to catch some culprits and ask why they are claiming public roads. just make sure you don't block their entrance. I am sure all of this may have happened with no results, but try a sensible approach with a hard approach to back it up.

my point is if you disfigure their cars and they disfigure yours, all we will be left with is a lot of disgifured cars.

Yes, correct.
We are not putting any rocks or pillars as we dont want any encroachment done irrespective of the road being T.P or private.
And we feel that parking on the road, again, irrespective of whether its parked in front of somebody's home ( T.P. road or private stretch ), will and does result in lack of space on for normal traffic which = encroachment, so we dont park outside ( damaging is another concern ).

If its T.P. stretch, then guests can park in front, no issues. But in my case despite having space, residents park in front. This is the issue, and moreover, they urge their guest to park in front of our homes ( whenever free space ) despite two common plots ( capable of holding 12 cars ).

I have already tried the polite method again ( we had earlier raised the issue in society meetings also ), but it failed. We dont want involvement of police. But it looks like they will be called up.

Regarding conformation about the road being public or private, people here can chage this with a few calls. About six months ago we tried to confirm about this, but after many follow-ups no results are out. We have to even fight at various offfices to prove that our society does exist and we do exist. We received letter during that time to confirm whether we stayed there or not ( i.e. if our house and we existed or not ), as in plans our place is built on road. We had to then get our map and head towards head offices and then issue was settled. So now you know the depth of the overall issue.

@yzfrj, vivekiny2k:
This was the soft approach I tried ( reply no. 43 in this thread ):

After the ideas I got through this thread ( and my minds own destructivity ), I decided before harming someone's cars, let me talk a bit. Did ask people not to park. They replied " Becasue of shadow, we do this type of parking ". I told them " I know ", but this is not a good practise. Others are now getting rough, and tell me " its road ". Next what I did was a bit bad. Called up my friend, and he was in this city and not in hostel. Lucky me. He came here with his brother. Now I asked him to park his car ( Original Maruti Zen ) in front of offender's gate. He promptly did this. We were now discussing about computers ( Core i7 ). When he was about to leave, we found rear right wheel was deflated. Angry me, called those offenders. They told me kids did this. We were left without arguments.

Now atleast I will have satisfaction that I did try talking and putting him in my shoe. Both ideas are failures. I tried polite ways thinking they will have some common sense. Now if I am not supposed to mind their way of parking, they must not mind my way of parking also. But they are deaf and dumb. I was to use vid's formula of sticking for some guests at other's residense, but did not as the guests had arrived at a place where day before yesterday someone died and ( the resident know us well, also victim of stones and parking ). No notice under wipers also. This was exception.

So its not that I have not tried and what about the issues we have raised in society meetings ? How can be one more polite ?
And I wont be ruining their cars. Presently I am working on throwing the dust house maid collects from floor and just throw it down. Today it has started and will continue for next six days. Then tyre job will come. I am implementing the things in steps, giving them opportunity to use their grey cells.

[aaggoswami]

A little update:
I had earlier put up a sticker on one car. This formula is successful. I am getting some very quick success here. But the overall problem remains. Today again he throwing dust on cars from balcony is done, but with no effect. Time will tell.

But the stick paper was an excellent thought. The person ( car owner ) was very angry and I am not well now ( normal cough since 6 days now ), so avoided the physical brawl he was apparently interested in. He told me he never tolerates anyone touching his car, etc. But I said, its my way and if he feels like this, then I cant help. At last, we were almost down to blows. Others interfered to stop us. I was keen on doing more damage. Then with a cool and calm mind I told him my problems. He was still angry, but now able to understand my act. I told him that he should have himself used brain and parked in common plot rather than in front of my house.

I have decided that now if anyone says " I dont let others touch my car ", etc after parking in wrong fashion, I am going to be more aggressive, but here surprisingly he was understanding.

[BaCkSeAtDrIVeR]

but here surprisingly he was understanding.

Yeah. they will be understanding, once you make it clear that you are ready to do things.

I once had this problem of people dumping rubbish in front of my larger gate (house on corner, larger gate on main road, about 40M from house!!!, and small gate right in front of house, smaller, dead end street). I stood vigil for 20 - 22 hours a day, for 8 days. And the last man was adamant. "You know, I am a lawyer". And I said, "that does not exempt you from sleeping in lockup/hospital tonight". And got physical. He backed out. And it turns out that his wife was a junior lawyer.

And the elected representative was very non-cooperative.

I mean, if you do not make it clear that unless you get your way, you will not back off, they will NOT understand.

[yzfrj]

It is really amazing how people don't mind to get "physical" these days.
Please don't take it as a personal attack anyone.

Yes I do get angry and does shout, getting physical as in any sort of aggressive gesture well that is just not me and not that I'd resort to.

Yes you have to react if the other guys "starts" it if he is being "rough" try to be calm, but don't make him feel that he can intimidate you and push you around.

Having said that, this parking issue used to happen (and still does sometimes) in my house. Same reasons here, its wider and shade is there from trees.
Gas wala, auto, car, taxi guys, neighbors and visitors to their houses all do the "parking" stunt.

Never had to shout to anyone, if the park and we are not taking the car out. We will not say anything.

When we are taking the car out just before leaving we tell the guy to please move the car, normally this will make him a bit embarrassed and a sheepish smile and an apology follows.

This will usually make the "offender" to think twice next time he parks.
But some people are just too careless and self absorbed.

Physical aggression is "not" an option, you can defend and attack yes,
But I don't fancy starting one.

Getting physical can only escalate the issue and make you just as "bad" as the other fool who created this mess in the first place.

This is my personal view.

[BaCkSeAtDrIVeR]

@yzfrj - that was 10 years back!!! Young blood has a very low boiling point. I would think twice now before doing that. But I do not think anything else would work in certain situations.

And threatening to get physical, and actually getting physical are different. He backed out when I lunged forward; If I had not done that, my gate would still have been a dumpyard.

Parking at this gate is still a problem - but I have no problems in taking the car out, and people remove the vehicle when I want to. The vehicles are those coming to the shops / Mosque nearby, and people would generally be alert what happens.

But that is not the case with goswami bhai. It is a residential area, a narrow road, and people tend not to realise what happens to the vehicles when they park and go home. And he cannot take the vehicle out the way he wants to. He has to take a left turn, turn around the vehicle and return to take his vehicle out. (right?)

[aaggoswami]

Originally Posted by BaCkSeAtDrIVeR

1)And threatening to get physical, and actually getting physical are different. He backed out when I lunged forward; If I had not done that, my gate would still have been a dumpyard.

2)Parking at this gate is still a problem - but I have no problems in taking the car out, and people remove the vehicle when I want to. The vehicles are those coming to the shops / Mosque nearby, and people would generally be alert what happens.

3)But that is not the case with goswami bhai. It is a residential area, a narrow road, and people tend not to realise what happens to the vehicles when they park and go home. And he cannot take the vehicle out the way he wants to. He has to take a left turn, turn around the vehicle and return to take his vehicle out. (right?)

1)One has to stand for correct things, otherwise they are taken for granted.

3)Correct. I am surprised that my poor diagrams actually present what I wanted to.

Originally Posted by yzfrj

4)It is really amazing how people don't mind to get "physical" these days.
Please don't take it as a personal attack anyone.

2)this parking issue used to happen (and still does sometimes) in my house. Same reasons here, its wider and shade is there from trees.
Gas wala, auto, car, taxi guys, neighbors and visitors to their houses all do the "parking" stunt.

Never had to shout to anyone, if the park and we are not taking the car out. We will not say anything.

When we are taking the car out just before leaving we tell the guy to please move the car, normally this will make him a bit embarrassed and a sheepish smile and an apology follows.

This will usually make the "offender" to think twice next time he parks.

...

One has to get physical or else others dont understand that you have a right to live.

2)People in your locality feel embrassed when you ask them to move car/bike, but in my locality, if I have to ask someone to move his automotive, then he is proud of his act and others praise him. This is the state.

4)I am young, yes and I am since childhood very aggressive ( and recently caught with high Blood Pressure ). I cannot tolerate wrong things even for a moment.

Originally Posted by BaCkSeAtDrIVeR

I mean, if you do not make it clear that unless you get your way, you will not back off, they will NOT understand.

Absolutely correct. And generally thats ends up in physical brawl ( at least here ) where if someone does something wrong, he/she is the most respected and appreciated.

[yzfrj]

Originally Posted by BaCkSeAtDrIVeR

@yzfrj - that was 10 years back!!! Young blood has a very low boiling point.

It is a residential area, a narrow road, and people tend not to realise what happens to the vehicles when they park and go home. And he cannot take the vehicle out the way he wants to. He has to take a left turn, turn around the vehicle and return to take his vehicle out. (right?)

Originally Posted by aaggoswami

1) I cannot tolerate wrong things even for a moment.

Young blood boils yes, but its rather stupid. (don't you agree ?)
I'm 28, so don't know if I'm still young.
My blood boils too, but not as it used to, say like I was 17-21

I cannot fully realize aaggoswami's situation, so my apologies in advance if I say something that might sound out of place.

Anyway, from what you have said he can take the car out.
So apparently the gate is not "blocked", rather the car is parked in an awkward way.

If the car is not blocking the way completely, is that still a problem ?
In my view no. If the guy who has parked is sensible enough to park it without blocking the way, its considered good enough.

It is not exactly right to say to the guy "hey you cannot park it here, its not easy for me to take the car out". The point is you still can take the car out, right ?

Its a residential area, yes. So you'd like it to be quiet right ?
So why all the fuss, if the other guy is blocking your gate I agree 100% you can tell him "this is not right". But if its just a minor irritant why make all the fuss.

In the flat I stay now, there was a guy who regularly blocked the car/bike (yeah he used to block my car and my bike with his car/bike). Told him too many times, he is just absent minded and does that again. So do I shout on him ? I did't. Its the way some people are.

Let it be, live and let other live.
Try to be courteous to others even if it is a bit on inconvenient for you.

In our country if that was the case, things would have been much better and the roads a joy to drive on. I don't think I'll change the world or something, I still try.

[aaggoswami]

Originally Posted by yzfrj

Young blood boils yes, but its rather stupid. (don't you agree ?)
I'm 28, so don't know if I'm still young.
My blood boils too, but not as it used to, say like I was 17-21

I cannot fully realize aaggoswami's situation, so my apologies in advance if I say something that might sound out of place.

Anyway, from what you have said he can take the car out.
So apparently the gate is not "blocked", rather the car is parked in an awkward way.

If the car is not blocking the way completely, is that still a problem ?
In my view no. If the guy who has parked is sensible enough to park it without blocking the way, its considered good enough.

It is not exactly right to say to the guy "hey you cannot park it here, its not easy for me to take the car out". The point is you still can take the car out, right ?

Its a residential area, yes. So you'd like it to be quiet right ?
So why all the fuss, if the other guy is blocking your gate I agree 100% you can tell him "this is not right". But if its just a minor irritant why make all the fuss.

....

1) Ok, lets suppose for a moment that they have a right to park in the locations C1 and C2. Now, because of their parking specifically C1, I am not able to take out my automotive/s. So what if I do is this :
i will park at I1 and I2 in front of Block 1 and Block 2, then again I am not blocking their gate, so they must not oppose this move, correct ?

But they wont let me park at I1 and I2.
I1 and I2 are possibel places where I can park and they must not raise voice.


And moreover, because of their parking, it is difficult for us to take cars out specially Baleno. Baleno is a reasonably long car. This, I believe is indirectly blocking my approach.

[vivekiny2k]

Originally Posted by aaggoswami

4)I am young, yes and I am since childhood very aggressive ( and recently caught with high Blood Pressure ). I cannot tolerate wrong things even for a moment.

high BP is just a start, a warning to take it easy.
don't take it lightly.

[yzfrj]

Originally Posted by aaggoswami

1) Ok, lets suppose for a moment that they have a right to park in the locations C1 and C2. Now, because of their parking specifically C1, I am not able to take out my automotive/s. So what if I do is this :
i will park at I1 and I2 in front of Block 1 and Block 2, then again I am not blocking their gate, so they must not oppose this move, correct ?

But they wont let me park at I1 and I2.
I1 and I2 are possibel places where I can park and they must not raise voice.

Question:

1) Why do you want to park at I1 and I2, you'd rather park your car in your garage, right ?
2) Anyway why then I1 and I2 ? You can very well park at location C1 and C2, right ?

Yes you are correct they can park as they want and you cannot park. If this is a free county (yes it is). He can park then by all means you can park as well.

If this is the case, tell him to take a walk off a short peer. err... don't be that blunt. But you get the picture.
This is clearly putting all the blame and burden on you.
This cannot happen.

Resident association ? Can't they do anything ?
You have every right for a mutually agreeable solution, this seems to a one sided solution and why should you suffer more than them ?

[aaggoswami]

Originally Posted by vivekiny2k

high BP is just a start, a warning to take it easy.
don't take it lightly.

Thanks! Surely the matter has got more serious with me gaining 5 kgs to 95kg now.

But these guys are going to raise my pressure again. Today evening, there is meeting at some resident's place. They have side business with an American company and every Sunday they have meeting. Today, a Matiz Spice edition owner tries to park as usual in C1. But, I dont know what happened, he lost control over his car and at around 7-10 kmph, the car's left side of front bumper brushed with our wall. As clear from the diagram, to enter our society, first a 90 degree right turn and then agian immediately 90 left turn has to be taken. Moreover due to parking of M800 ( by resident of Other Society ) he had to take a bigger left turn. And while trying to park this happened. Hearing the brusing sound of plastic and wall, I came out, only to see that owner of car is angry on me becasue
1) We have a big compound wall ( large plot )
2) We have parked our Maruti 800 at location C2 !

I scream at him back and told him this is they way useless people park here. It is common sense that parking at C2 creates blind spots in already dangerous turn where till now many have crashed ( and the reason is again that we have large compound ).

I dont know what to do now. There is, we can say, no damage to wall, not even color damage ( atleast the damage is not visible ). Matiz had a broken front bumber from left side and scratch marks on panel. He blames us, but the residents of our society tell him we are not at fault.

I seriously wanted to put sticker on his car, but then didnt do that. He was taught a lesson by someone of his standard.

EDIT :
@yzfrj:

1) Why do you want to park at I1 and I2, you'd rather park your car in your garage, right ?
2) Anyway why then I1 and I2 ? You can very well park at location C1 and C2, right ?

Yes you are correct they can park as they want and you cannot park. If this is a free county (yes it is). He can park then by all means you can park as well.

If this is the case, tell him to take a walk off a short peer. err... don't be that blunt. But you get the picture.
This is clearly putting all the blame and burden on you.
This cannot happen.

Resident association ? Can't they do anything ?
You have every right for a mutually agreeable solution, this seems to a one sided solution and why should you suffer more than them ?

They have sufficient space to park one car and these people have one car. Still they wont put in their compound. I was just trying to illustrate their arrogance.
Now dont you think I have a right to be frustrated ?
Resident association : Well, there is one. Some background required here. Each month per house fee is Rs. 100. Expenses are street light and borewell ( borewell will be switched ON as per requirement of house, for eg, if we run out of water, we can switch on borewell and we have to notedown the meter reading and pay accordingly above Rs. 100 ). Now out of 22 houses, only 10 pay this amuont regularly. If there is a meeting, 5-6 turn up. My dad is the handles account for society for four years now. Till last year we didnt even have sewage connection. This is the reason why putting pipes idea cannot be executed. They were installed just now and even upgraded at a few places.

Now, I have given you orientation of people in my locality. You can think now : What can the Association do, ? Nothing.

[Thad E Ginathom]

It seems to me that the problem is between aaggoswami and his neighbours.

The trouble is that third parties, who may visiting his neighbours, and know nothing about what problems he may have with them, are taking the stick for it. That doesn't seem fair.

aaggoswami, you say there is an empty plot where people can park. Is there a large sign saying "Parking for Visitors: please park here and not on the street"?