[maddy42]

One usual class in college where there was a mayhem going on like a fish market. The lecturer wanted to control the noise so he shouts for us to shut for for a minute.

Silence

Now he utters his golden sentence " There are some B@#^% in class and they are not students!!!"

This was suffiecient for all of us to burst out laughing and to this day our proff gets taunted due to this.

[Spitfire]

Every year on Diwali we have a function in our colony, where all the folks spend a evening together with music, skits and other entertainment lined up.

Everyone must try and put up some act for this day.

A group of kids in the age group of 6-12 put up a skit. The direction, story evrything was their idea.

The show starts and everything is going well until a scene where one of the actors has to visit the doctor with his daughter.

Child 1: Doctor my daughter has pain in her stomach.
Child 2: Holding her stomach.. groaan..ahh..
Doctor: Let me examine her, manages to somehow use the borrowed stethescope.
Then say to Child 1.

She will be fine, just give her MALA-D for 4 days.

On hearing this there was a stunned silence and then the whole crowd of 200 odd people kept laughing for the rest of the function with an occassional giggle triggerring another bout of no holds laughter.

Those days the Mala D ad was quite common on TV.

[rjstyles69]

Venue : Some place after Mahab's on the East Coast Road.
Number of people : 7 of us.
Reason to be there : Waiting to watch the sunset at the beach .
State of mind : Everyone thinks he is the next poet in the making(beer effect).

Never realized till one of my friends said , it doesn't happen here. I am still confused to this very day .

[Sabareesh]

This happened with me 6 years ago when I was working at a Call Center. We used to provide Tele-support for Windows XP Professional users in North America.


Me :(half asleep) Hello, this is Sabareesh from MS Windows XP Offshore Support Team, How can I help you ?

Customer : Hi, I am Kimberley (name changed), I have a problem with my computer. I need your help urgently.

Me : Sure Kimberley, I would assist you with the best of my abilities, can you tell me what the issue is ??

Kimberley : I logged on to my ebay account today morning to purchase an External Sound Card, I selected the required Sound Card and opted for payment through Credit Card.

Me : Ok, then ???

Kimberley : The screen asked me to enter my Credit Card and I did.

Me : Oh Ok, then ???

Kimberley : Since then, I have not got my credit card back. I am really upset on this

Me : (still half asleep) I can understand your disappointment but I need to understand the whole procedure again. You had logged on to ebay for purchasing an External Sound Card, You chose the required product and opted for payment through Credit Card.

Kimberley : Bulls Eye !!! and then the screen asked me to enter my Credit Card and I did... and till now I have not received it back. I want my card back right now.

Me : Kimberley, are you sure you did not misplace your Credit Card ??

Kimberley : No I told you that I entered the card and I did not get it back.

Me : Huh... where did you enter the card.

Kimberley : In the computer.

Me : ( bewildered ) In the computer ??? but where ?????

Kimberley : Inside that damn thing where you enter the normal black square cards... I WANT MY CARD BACK RIGHT NOW !!!!!



It took me a moment to analyse the situation, I could finally figure out that She had entered her credit card in this.







ROTFLMAO

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[amitoj]

One of the teams sitting next to us had moved. So, we were all moving into their vacated places, so that the entire team could sit next to each other. We were all busy moving our cabinets, chairs (with customised settings), CPUs and other personal effects, when we look up and see one of our teammates unplugging the landline phone. So, we asked him, "why are you doing that?"
His response: "I'm shifting the phone coz i dont want to change my phone number." :

[gt_bhp]

This happened in '98 at my first job. The office wasn't Air conditioned so during the day we had some of the building windows open and at evening we used to close them due to mosquito menace. One evening message was sent to all - "Close all windows" and my colleague M did close all the windows - nothing wrong in that you think eh ? He closed all windows on his PC and was seen staring at a blank screen and we had swell time pulling his legs.

[Fountainheader]

Watching the new promo about LG and T20 world cup reminded me of this classic.

It was 1999 and the slogan everywhere was "Britannia khao.. World cup jaao". My friend after managing to collect the required points eating biscuits, caught hold of the scratch card. Takes out a 50p coin, and starts scracthing. And checks "Sorry, Try again" or something.

So what does the smart alec do ? Scratch the same card again !!

[santhosh_kumard]

Amazing thread. Thanks Sam for starting this.
I also would like to share one of my experience as written by a room-mate of mine.
This is already posted in a blogspot, so I am keeping the names same.

STBED is an area in Bangalore near Koramangala where myself and friends used to stay before stepping into marital bliss and I, at that point of time was a first-person-shooter-games fanatic. Now the story..
===============================


You Shooting Me?


STBED, Bangalore

It was just another wonderful saturday night (or sunday morning, deoending on perspective - 2 A.M to be exact). We (myself and friends - Santhosh, Binoy, Riyaz) were at our home in STBED - "where history never gets the time to sleep" - enjoying the usual mixture of malayalam film songs + english movies + adventure + hindi music and wondering why this week has had no really interesting stories to offer so far. Our other roomie, Bijunu, was still in office, thanks (not at all) to his project release.

"Tak, Tak" ,, knocks on the door .. seemed like Bijunu has returned after hammering all the bugs. We looked at each other with the "open the door you lazy @#$%" kind of smile. Finally Santhosh decided to take a break from the yahoo messenger windows and walked towards the door. The gamer-adventurer that he is, and in addition hailing from Kannur, decided to give Bijunu a wlcome in military style. . ..

He got ready with his imaginary shotgun and switched to commando operation mode, in a posture that would have humbled even the black cats. He stood behind the door and slowly released the lock without making noise. Then, after another second of silence, he suddenly opened the door and jumped outside in full commando spirits. While still in the air, he released three bullets from his shotgun, along with the appropriate sound effects "dihkou. dishkou, dishkou"

Then, to our surprise, he suddenly seemed to have got transported straight to the madame tussauds museum. Stillness for a second. Slowly, the shotgun disappeared. .He turned and looked at us with a peculiar smile. And then we heard a loud unfamiliar voice from outside "You,shooting me?"

We rushed to the door .. and saw the sight that made our weekend . There was a couple of people standing outside seemingly as amazed as we were. Only that they were both wearing khaki uniforms. Police!

And as they left and the door got shut, a hell of laughter broke loose. The saturday night was still young. .
================================================== =========

[kutlee]

good ones. I got this information just today and the event happened couple of months ago. One of my colleagues (we are in IT) filled his time sheet under the heading 'training' and work comments as 'searching for work' and that too for 8 hours. Hope the client has not seen this timesheet. i'm still laughing.

[Sam Kapasi]

3 weeks ago we were in Delhi. For some reason it had gotten really late, close to midnight and Jenny had not been able to eat any of the Indian food that evening (too much masala)

As we approached home she said she was dying of hunger.
What would you like to eat?
A salad. A real salad with dressing and lettuce and everything. I am dying for a salad. I am very hungry.

I thought quickly and it occurred to me that the only place where we could get a salad at 11:45 in the night would be Subway. I called a colleague who informed me that the nearest Subway to us would be at South-Extension II.

I spoke to the driver, asking him if he could stay back a little while as Madam was really hungry. No problem Sir came the quick reply.

Kya tumhe South-ExII ka Subway pata hai? (Do you know where the Subway at South-ExII is?)
Haan haan, pata hai. (Yes I know)
Pukka?

Bahut baar gaye hain Sir (I have been there often)
Wahan Subway hai, pata hai na?
Haan haan, pata hai.

We're sitting in the Innova and the driver is driving us to South-EXII. I'm a bit tired and am nodding off. Suddenly Jenny is prodding me. I look up and realise that the driver has stopped on some main road.
I look around me outside the window and across the road, looking for the familiar Subway yellow and green sign. Nothing.

Hum kahan hai?
SouthEXII sir.
OK. Kahaan hai Subway?
Woh raha. Pointing.

I look, bending down and peeping from the window looking for the yellow-green neon sign. Then I focus further looking for a sign with the light off perhaps...

Kahan?
Woh raha. He points.
I follow his finger and I see no shop.

It's late and I'm sleepy and running short on patience. Jenny is also peeping from the car and hunting for the restaurant, looking up and down. We seem to be parked on the main road and there are clearly no shops in this vicinity.

KAHAN HAI SUBWAY BHAI??

He points towards the sidewalk next to the car. There is an opening to a flight of steps running down underground. He speaks very slowly.

Sir yeh SouthExII ka subway hai.

[Sam Kapasi]

Many years ago there was some renovation work being done and there was a mason full of life and jokes.
He was a simple man but always full of questions, some very funny and some very childish and annoying.

One day:

Ek baat poochni thi. (I want to ask you something)
Haan?

English mein ghar paint karne wale ko painter bolte hain na? (A person who paints the house is called a Painter)
Haan I said, waiting for something stupid next.

Toh phir lakkad kaatne waale mistri ko car-painter kyun bolte hai? Woh thodi na logo ki gaadiyon ko paint karta hai? (When why do they call a woodworker a car-painter? He does not paint anyone's car!)

[bblost]

MY friend is cooking.
He instructs me over the telephone to get karela gosh.

I do exactly as instructed.
Reach his house. He asks for Karela and gosh.
I am confused. I have karela gosh.
He wants karela and gosh.

Good laugh.

Karela -> bitter gourd.
gosh -> mutton.
Karela gosh -> the tender muscle part of meat that is connected to the bone.

[Rajesh Rawal]

Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi

Sir yeh SouthExII ka subway hai.

i have experienced a subway event of my mine ,ok so in my apartment complex i have to drive through a badminton court to get to my car park.

when the kids see me come ,they would lift the badminton net with their rackets from both ends and make it like a subway for me to drive under the nets.

now i dont know if it has ever happened to to any of you people, but when passing under those nets( in the car) i subconsciously started leaning down while driving (thinking my head would hit the nets)lol..

saw all the kids smiling at me seeing my "sky is falling on my head" stint

[Technocrat]

gosh -> mutton.

I believe its should be Gosht

[shipnil]

Sam, dkhatau.. The airline and the police station incidents... those were gems