[rsjaurr]

This was somewhere between 1994-96.During one winter afternoon,my friend and me wanted to have tea.As we went near the canteen we started asking one another," aaj tu chai pila, nahi aaj tu pila".Soon this was answered by almighty and we saw CME going on on 1st floor around 100feet away.Now those guys used to offer tea along with snacks just to attract some more audience, like my friend and me.We rushed to that place in no time and as my friend saw a senior professor with tea and samosa's in his outstretched hands coming out of rush near the tea table, my friend extended his hands towards him to get tea and samosa."you can help yourself" was the reply we heard from him and both of us along with a girl,our classmate who was also watching all this, had not only tea and samosa but also good laugh for free.

That senior pro was coming out like that just to avoid tea/sauce spilling on somebody as we usually do in lot of rush.

[avisidhu]

This happened when I was around 5 years old. Parents purchased a couple of newly launched "Pears" soap bars and briing them home. Some of you might remember that it comes in a proper cardboard box unlike regular soap.

Somehow I got pretty convinced that this nice shiny looking brownish object is a chocolate and not soap. Mom and dad tried real hard to convince me otherwise, but I was adamant. Finally Dad got fed up and said ok go ahead, take a bite if you must. Happily I filled my mouth with a big chunk of the damn thing.

Needless to say, I still remember how it 'tastes' more than how it smells.

[deky]

2 years back I was in Kanpur for my first cousins wedding. The marriage ceremonies got over at 0500hrs in the morning.

My uncle who had a Skoda Superb had offered his car to be decorated to carry the newly weds from the marraige place to the Hotel. The car was decorated with fresh flowers and the florist went over the top and decorated the front wind shield also, just leaving enough place for the driver to see.

Since the ceremonies got over at 0500 hrs and my uncle had gone to sleep,I was given the responsibility to drive the newly weds. As soon as every one sat down in the car and the car rolled for a few meters the wipers on the wind screen started to work.

Apparently the Superb has rain sensors and if any drops of water detected on the screen the wipers starts. And since the fresh flowers had started to sweat and release water the wipers had started.

Well, I did switch the wipers off but they were on again soon. Not only did the wiping spoil the whole flower arrangement around the wind screen but the embarrassment I had to suffer for driving the 10 kms or so with wipers coming on intermittently was a bit too much.

So much for technology

[satish_appasani]

Happened in my engineering college in 90s.

My friends were attending a material science lab. Usually lab attendants in colleges are people who pass vocational training (ITI). The one in this lab wanted to show off his spoken English skills.

One of the guys in the lab was disturbing others. So the attendant walks to that guy and says "Follow me!". The guy follows him to the door. Then the attendant says "Don't follow me!" and walked back in. Everybody's mouths were like

After few minutes people started realizing that attendant couldn't recollect "Get out".

[_raVan_]

Our Wego has a bad cold starting problem and its worse in Pune's cold mornings. So here I was - kicking, choking, kicking, choking... - and the bike wouldnt start. Maybe a flutter here and there, but nope, it wouldnt start. I was literally on my wits end and had started hurling expletives on it.

Now, my wife is a complete non-petrol head. She comes upto me and asks:
"Why is it taking so long to start???"
"Its a freaking cold morning, the engine is too cold to start." I reply angrily, muttering under my breath.
"Oh! Is that it? I will do this then."
And she starts rubbing her sweater on the side panel.
"NO NO! THATS NOT WHAT I MEA..."
By the time I could complete it, she pressed the self start button and the engine roared to life!

I smacked my forehead and there stood my wife with an accomplished beaming smile!

Sometimes, you know things like these just work!

[iFuel]

My wife has recently started driving after her recent driving lessons.

Till now whenever we were in the car, i used to drive and my wife and my 2 year old used to sit on the passenger side. My 2 year old is the real deal, keeps jumping everywhere, has to tinker with stuff and just doesnt give up, he is virtually all over the place inside the car, and everytime we drive to some place.

So this fine day wifey decides she wants to try her new skills at driving. She gets inside the car and onto the driver seat. Me gets on the passanger seat and grab my kiddo and seat him on my lap. And wonder of wonders, he sat absolutely still all through the journey, not a word, not a motion, just kept staring out of the window with an occasional look at mom driving. We reach our home, I open the door, put my kiddo on the road, and for the 1st time in my life I see him run the heck out, to and into the house at super speed.

And I look at my wife and she is staring at me completely bemused.

P.S. No offence meant to any female drivers what-so-ever. This is a real life incident.

[chevelle]

when i was a kid i used to pronounce following words in a different way

- compass became 'pankass'
- 'dudh' (milk in gujarati) became 'budh'. So my statement would be 'budh apo ne' instead of 'dudh apo ne' (give me milk).
- my uncle's name Ashok became 'Akosh uncle'.

We all laugh whenever we recollect this. Precious memory of childhood.

[noopster]

Originally Posted by _raVan_

Sometimes, you know things like these just work!

Never underestimate the power of a woman's touch!

@iFuel: Keeping kids in the front seat is dangerous- why don't you opt for a good child seat instead?
By the way, it's quite possible your son thought Papa is still driving and didn't want to disturb you, so sat still!

[ninjatalli]

A 10 year old incident. Tried to keep it as it happened, word for word.

I'd just finished off my first year at engineering, and was going to spend two lovely and long months of summer holidays at home. In those days, not all of us yet had personal mobile phones or internet at home, so it was the landline(s) that was the only option for conversing.

Now my voice on the phone sounds a lot like my mother's. (Actually my voice sounds feminine on the phone) One evening, a college batch-mate gives a call to me. I was out playing and my mom picks up the phone.

Do note, we were quite young, and the language in college was mostly expletives-ridden and considered quite normal.
The conversation goes like this -

Friend: Talli, bore ho raha hu. Kya kar raha hai.
Mom: Beta, woh bahar kehlne gaya hai.

Friend: Abe hero, masti band kar. Rahul (name changed) bol raha hu.
Mom: Beta, mai uski mummy bol rahi hu.

Friend: Abe g****, chup kar apni bakwaas. Mai teri awaaz janta hu. Kya ye c***** kar raha hai. (more expletives follow)
Mom: (In a stern voice) Beta, Niranjan nahi hai idhar. I'll ask him to give you a call once he's back.

Friend: (Realizing his mistake) umm.... Sorry aunty. (Cuts the call)


Needless to say, that friend has never called me up again at my place


*************************

On a recent Chennai trip

There are two of us sharing a cab from the guest house to the airport. I had given my number as the contact point along with my details so I get a call from the driver.

Driver: Sir, this is the cab driver, Arvind speaking. When do you want me to pick you up?
Me: Flight is at 9:30. How long does it take from Adyar to the airport?

Driver: Madam, evening traffic. I'll reach by 6 p.m. at the guest house.
Me: (Decide not to correct him) Ok. Fine.

(Around 6 p.m.)
Driver: Madam, this is Arvind. I'm standing outside the guest house.
Me: Ok. We'll come down.

Colleague: Did he just call you madam?
Me: Yea, it happens a lot with me. Not an issue.
Colleague: lol.

We go downstairs. We see the car parked a few blocks away. I give the driver a call.

Me: We are standing at the gate. Where are you.
Driver: Madam I am also standing opposite the gate only. I'll get the car.

We see this chap in front of us putting his mobile in his pocket and walk towards him. He completely ignores us and walks by towards the car. We follow him. He gets into the car, reverses it and get its back in front of the guest house; all of this, while we stand astonished in the middle of the street. We again walk back towards the car and open the dicky.

Driver: Helloo, yaar neengae. Inne waeno?
(Hey, who are you? What do you want?)
Me: We are from XYZ. We only have booked the car.

Driver: (In a confused state)But Niranjan madam, where is she?
Colleague: (In complete splits by now)
Me: !!! I am Niranjan Prabhakar.

Driver: (Realization finally draws on him) Ok saar. Let me help you with the luggage.

[ani_meher]

Originally Posted by avisidhu

Finally Dad got fed up and said ok go ahead, take a bite if you must. Happily I filled my mouth with a big chunk of the damn thing.

Needless to say, I still remember how it 'tastes' more than how it smells.

I am sure mom would have shown bubbles of the soap after rinsing with waters. Dad would rather allow son to taste it instead!

Dads can really be awesome as well as pranksters, sometimes both.

[noopster]

@Ninja: ^^ That was hilarious. Pretty cool that you can laugh at yourself. I suffered this fate for a while in my adolescent years when my voiced raged between shrill soprano and deep baritone seemingly at whim! Got used to random people calling me Madam. Once my voice broke, everyone mistook me for my Dad(and vice versa). At least two of my friends have addressed Dad with a bit too much familiarity, similar to your friend's experience with your Mom

[Fordmanchau]

Originally Posted by chevelle

- compass became 'pankass'
-We all laugh whenever we recollect this. Precious memory of childhood.

Happens a lot to kids I say, for me Amitabh Bachan was KITAB Bachan
and MachuaToli(a locality name) was KACHUAtoli

Originally Posted by Fordmanchau

Happened with me today.

Guys, thanks for reading and here's a little follow up details.
He got the gift pronto, I also wrote him a message from Santa, which my sis read it out for him.
He was very happy with the gift, but then he dropped the car and I think its ORVM broke for which he cried inconsolably. My sis said, she has never seen him crying like this for a toy.
And then I don't know he is keeping this gift as secret. He is not telling anyone what he got from Santa, rather lying to everyone that he got a bike, even to his father. Even my sis is not allowed to speak the truth.

Originally Posted by ninjatalli

Driver: (In a confused state)But Niranjan madam, where is she?

lol, madamjee

[ninjatalli]

Originally Posted by noopster

@Ninja: ^^ That was hilarious. Pretty cool that you can laugh at yourself. I suffered this fate for a while in my adolescent years when my voiced raged between shrill soprano and deep baritone seemingly at whim! Got used to random people calling me Madam. Once my voice broke, everyone mistook me for my Dad(and vice versa). At least two of my friends have addressed Dad with a bit too much familiarity, similar to your friend's experience with your Mom

That's what I learnt from my mom. After the phone call incident, she could laugh over it while telling about the call to me without getting angry. When I finally got an opportunity to introduce that friend 4 years later, she still had a good laugh over it.

As for the madam part, it happens on a regular basis even today, especially with customer care executives.

[rsjaurr]

@ninjatalli:- Almost similar episodes happened with me 12 years back when my friend was staying in his in-laws house and both of us didn't have mobile phones.One day I called him and this is what happened next in short.....

me:Hello...Munish?
other side:-nahi beta..I'm his F-I-L.He must be in his room..let me call him.

After about a minute...

other side:-hello..
me:-abhe s.... bhai...... g....... ha..... @#$%^&* kaha tha tu...itne din call nhi kya?
other side:-(interrupting me)..beta Munish room me nhi hai. Aayega to me bol dunga.
I dint say a word after that and kept the receiver down.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

About 2 years back while in US i was looking for a study partner.(Usually examine prefers same sex person to practice.) So I came in contact with somebody through a website and we talked to each other on phone and decided that we will practice in my F-I-L's house.
I told my in-laws that this guy is even more soft spoken as compared to previous guy.(who was south Indian and was much younger to me). So on the decided day that person came to my in-laws house. As soon as I saw that person I could not believe that person was a girl and not boy as I have been thinking for the last few days.
After she went,my in-laws and myself had a good laugh about it.

[Akshay1234]

Originally Posted by rsjaurr

About 2 years back while in US i was looking for a study partner.(Usually examine prefers similar sex person to practice.)

What is similar sex, buddy. I know of same sex and opposite sex, but similar?