[IronH4WK]

the year was 2002 and one of my colleagues gestures me to join him in the pantry as i walk into the office. i keep my backpack at my desk and join him for a coffee and the conversation starts:

colleague: *almost in a whisper* you know what? i went and indulged myself.. i got myself a tight and slim one last night, he says with a grin on his face.

me: say what?? (now, i know this guy for long and his family too)

colleague: keep it down, people will hear and i don't want others to know.

me: picture this - *jaw dropped, mouth open and eyes almost popping out*

colleague: i wanted to do this for a long time now. i've not told my wife; i don't know how to bring it up.

me: *jaw dropped, mouth open and eyes almost popping out*

me: dude, how can you do this? you've a wife and a kid on the way!!

colleague: so what? if i've a wife and kid i can't get myself a tight and slim?

me: no, no you can't!! are you nuts? what the heck is wrong with you?!

colleague: wait, i want you too see. you'll see it was worth it.

me: God almighty, this guy is carrying a picture too!!

colleague: brings his left hand forward and says "look". i look down and he's showing me his watch. i look at him confused.

colleague: isn't she beautiful, my Titan Slim!


i was for the rest of the week!!

[Fordmanchau]

^^ LoL!! This one was very good hawk . Titan Slim = Tight And Slim!! ROFL

Mallu guy again ?

[IronH4WK]

Originally Posted by Fordmanchau

^^ LoL!! This one was very good hawk . Titan Slim = Tight And Slim!! ROFL

Mallu guy again ?

nah, he is Rajasthani; i'm the mallu

[govigov]

This happened a couple of weeks back. I parked my car in the usual place, take my knick knacks and started following my usual ritual. Have a cup of tea etc.. came back and took a lift to the 6th floor, and started walking to the production floor. As i reach the door, i take out the car keys, pointed it at the HID and started hitting the unlock button on the remote while trying to open the door.

I was wondering why the door is not responding as my friend started getting furious takes his tags and swipes it at the HID to open the door and stomps away.

[libranof1987]

Originally Posted by IronH4WK

i'm the mallu

Ah, so that's why Mr. Hawk, pliss mention the whole story at once. hehe

And then you doubt him for his harmless titan slim.

PS : we're still friends, right?

[speedsatya]

I had this senior at one of my previous workplaces who was a very wierd lady .Very finicky and also not very popular within her team( Luckily I never reported to her ) .

One day she bought this labrador puppy for her kid son .But she was worried that it may actually be a cross breed and not a pure bred lab. That was when I told her to test this .

I told her to keep food at two places .On a plate and also on the floor .If the puppy eats from the plate ,it is of a good breed .I also remember telling her that pure bred dogs will never eat anything on the floor .Only strays would do that .

I told her this and forgot about it .She actually came back to me after a few days and said this test worked and that the puppy did eat from the floor .So she went and exchanged the puppy for a real labrador .And this time ,she tested it .

[selfdrive]

Originally Posted by speedsatya

So she went and exchanged the puppy for a real labrador .And this time ,she tested it .

You probably ruined that 'real' lab's life! just kidding,
An incident from my side

On the first working day of my new job, I went to the washroom. After erm, doing my job, I opened the door and stepped towards the basins to wash my hands.

Nobody else was there other than a girl dusting/ combing/ doing whatever to her long curly hair. I stood there shellshocked for a couple of seconds and then turned to confirm that the urinals were there. They were there, so this place is allowed for guys. Now what do I do next? I don’t want to get caught in a messy situation on the first day of a new job.

I was about to scoot back in the same door I came from, but at the same moment another guy walked in and froze in his stride. He looked at that girl and then when he spotted me he was confused. He then looked at the door sign just to confirm.

The girl noticed us both and got the shock of her day and apologetically scooted away.

A couple of months have passed since that incident but I still find myself confirming the presence of urinals when I step into any washroom

[mayankk]

Originally Posted by selfdrive

You probably ruined that 'real' lab's life! just kidding,
An incident from my side

Us poor Guys!!
First assumption was it IS my fault!!!
Awesome story, sir!

[BaCkSeAtDrIVeR]

Kid v2 (a boy) - Yay!!! Dad!!! Seee .. that yellow car?? That is a Nano!! Nano!!! Nano!! Nano!!! Nano!! Nano!!! Nano!! Nano!!! Nano!! Nano!!!

/* The D-Bhpian gushes in pride */

Kid v1 (a girl) Daddy!!! Tell him to shut up!! I am getting a head ache!!!!


couple of days later, I am on a bus. A kid and his dad are on the seat behind me. I can hear, but did not bother turning around.

This is what I hear:-

(Little voice - probably same age as Kid V2 - ~3 years) Yay!!! Dad!!! Seee .. that yellow car?? That is a Nano!! Nano!!! Nano!! Nano!!! Nano!! Nano!!! Nano!! Nano!!! Nano!! Nano!!!

(embarrassed dad) What is so great about nano??

(confused little voice) That is the best car!!! Did you not know?? Sheesh!!!

(non-chalant dad) Can you tell me what car that is?? (the question is repeated, and every time I get an answer - Honda, Toyota, Ford, Innova, etc. All seem to be very accurate.

(triumphant little voice) "another Honda" "another <brand>". .... WIth occasional "I dont know waht that is .. please tell me"s interspersed.

I am wondering who tutored that little motor head.

[chetan_l]

This happened in my previous org, when I was part of a software engineering team. We had to deliver a build to our client in the US and as usual, we discovered a show-stopper bug on the day of the release. The whole team was tensed and we were working thru the day, into the night and well over into the next day. This meant we had passed the deadline even on US timing.

We had a no-nonsense US program manager who managed to buy us some time. Nonetheless, he had made his displeasure clear to us since we had missed the deadline.

The next day India time, we managed to roll out the release. Having made the drop, our release manager was keen to inform our onsite PM that the release was made. So, despite being 3:30 AM US (Pacific) time, he called our PM, obviously waking him up from deep sleep. This is how things rolled from then:

Program Manager: Hello, ABC here...
Release Manager: Hey ABC, we've fixed the bug! Everything is working fine. We have deployed the release. Please do an UAT (User Acceptance Test) of the same...
Program Manager: Ok, will do (keeps the phone down)

All of us are happy with a hard days' work and go back to our homes.
That night, at exactly 3:30 AM India time, our onsite program manager calls up the release manager...
R.M: Hello, XYZ here...
PM: Hey XYZ, I have tested the build. Found 4 bugs. Go fix it!

You can bet from that day onward, our release manager (and the whole team), knew better not to wake up our PM in the middle of his night

[vivekiny2k]

Originally Posted by chetan_l

You can bet from that day onward, our release manager (and the whole team), knew better not to wake up our PM in the middle of his night

I had an offshore team lead who would call me everyday at 6-7 in the morning (yes, that's too early for me). Sometimes to say everything is fine, sometimes to say it's not, in spite of me saying multiple times that I didn't need to be called.

Wish I had her mobile number to give her the taste of her own medicine.

[Marlon]

On Sunday, I orderd my set of Team Bhp stickers. Today afternoon it got delivered. I am currently out of station and wife collected. She also told my daughter it is stickers for dads car. My daughter called me and asked me if she can take it and paste it on her sticker book. I told her it was for my car and tomorrow I would come and we can stick on the car. I told her if she wanted she can open the pack and look at it.

After 15 min my wife calls me up and she is speechless. As soon as she opened the pack and saw the stickers my daughter told 'oh, its Team Bhp stickers'. Now I am speechless.

My wife and I were debating for a long time , how could she read it. My daughter is 3 yrs old.

Possibilities are she over heard on Sunday that I have ordered Team Bhp stickers. She has seen me browsing many times this site, but I never told her the name 'Team Bhp' , wife must scolded me with this name for wasting my time. She would have identiifed by the logo (she identifies Pepsi by logo). List is endless.

Am typing this message with all confusion on how could she read it.
Tomorrow I need to go and speak to my daughter about it.

[.sushilkumar]

Originally Posted by BaCkSeAtDrIVeR

Kid v2 (a boy) - Yay!!! Dad!!! Seee .. that yellow car?? That is a Nano!! Nano!!! Nano!! Nano!!! Nano!! Nano!!! Nano!! Nano!!! Nano!! Nano!!!

I am wondering who tutored that little motor head.

exactly , That;s how my 4 yrs old reacted on seeing nano and rushed to the car in the middle of road. From that days , we always hold his hands tight now.

He usually gets excited on seeing bikes , to the extend that one day took my bikes keys to his school because i insisted he must go via school bus . off course he tried to start the bike using self starter and ride himself to school. good thing was that battery in bike was dead and he coudn ;t start due to that .

[selfdrive]

Last week, I had parked my Nano near a medical shop. While my wife and son bought some medicines, I was sitting in the driver's seat. A lady was passing by with a baby girl (maybe a year and a bit old). The girl kept pointing to the Nano and the lady had to come closer and closer. At a point the child mumbled something and the lady said: "No no, you cannot kitchie kitchie the Nano". A couple of other passersby also overheard and were smugly smiling away.
I told the lady that the Nano is just back from a wash, so clean enough for the child to touch (if not kiss!). The child blew a couple of kisses to the Nano, touched it with a wide smile on her face and then was finally satisfied enough to move on where they were headed.
Always nice to see a smile on a toddler's face.
Thank you Mr. Ratan Tata! and the designing team of course

Originally Posted by chetan_l

You can bet from that day onward, our release manager (and the whole team), knew better not to wake up our PM in the middle of his night

In my new job, some onsite person from my department sent me an email at 11:50pm my time that he would call me early next morning. He called me at 5:30am on my personal mobile number.

I work 9 to 6 IST and dont have any laptop/ mobile provided to access from home, so I am wondering why this person expects me to be informed that he would call me.

I saw the missed calls when I woke up around 7am. I am wondering if he forgot the current time for his own country? No no, just plain insensitive!

[BulZire]

Originally Posted by selfdrive

Thank you Mr. Ratan Tata! and the designing team of course

+1, Even my Daughter gets so much excited and shouts on seeing a Nano passing on the road, particularly the yellow one. she is just 1.4 years and i use to wonder what she actually thinks on seeing a yellow nano. Maybe she may make me buy her one very soon .