[sbraj]

Originally Posted by Ricci

You know most people (men if I may say so) have rather mundane humdrum jobs too , only a few of us really work at what we enjoy , and not everyone has that choice to work in their area of interest. It's exactly that reason why people have to be paid to work !

Roti, kapda, makaan? Don't need the pay cheque if the work is interesting?

Originally Posted by Ricci

I have done the whole gamut - sweeping , mopping , dishes , spoons , glasses , washing clothes by hand , watering plants - and done it with some time for homework etc , though not all of them regularly.

My wife is working, and I do share a big chunk of household work load. I get up at 6AM, help my wife in preparing breakfast, lunch, son's snacks. Get our 4 year old ready, give him breakfast, pack lunch for him, drop him to school and I am in office by 9:30AM. I usually leave office at 8:30PM, reach home, have food with family, play with my son, and retire for sleep.

In spite of all this, I find one aspect the toughest to do. Handling and caring for a small child. It is one thing mothers are very good at. A small child needs the mother most. Fathers can rarely be like mothers.

Originally Posted by Ricci

I would like to see equality too , but not the women's cherry-picked variety.

Ricci, most of the points that you are making are very valid. They do form the core of feminist/anti-feminist discussions.

But are we missing the woods for the trees?

Men and women can never be equal. They are programmed differently. Just like there are two spheres of brain, there are two genders. Isn't it wonderful that such disparate incarnations originated from the same source? I would salute that and move on.

Originally Posted by bblost

Everyone does their work. But doing someone else's work for them has its own joy.

Quoting a famous poem.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Fill each other's cup, but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf.

Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone
though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping;
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together yet not too near together;
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.

[bblost]

Originally Posted by bblost

Do you Mop the floors?

Its a little off topic. But this might be the best mop ever.
http://www.scotch-brite.com/wps/port...5941825&rt=rud

I use it on Vitrified Tiles and it takes less than 1/2 mug of water for the whole house.

Simply superb product although it is pricey at Rs 800 odd for the mop and Rs 500 for replacement microfiber.

[mb_jg]

Originally Posted by sbraj

[i] Men and women can never be equal. They are programmed differently. Just like there are two spheres of brain, there are two genders. Isn't it wonderful that such disparate incarnations originated from the same source? I would salute that and move on.
Quoting a famous poem.

I agree. Trying to understand women is like trying to figure out why dogs chase cars they can't drive!! Live in harmony & enjoy the time you have instead of groping over the idea's of who's supposed to do what!!
Live & let live!!!

[girishglg]

Absolutely starts at home and that means equiping with the same skills that a man has. Talking about mobility, encouraged my wifi to start driving in the first month after wedlock.

Not only women are equal but should be equally mobile too.

Talking of other things equal at home, help in chores in case the maid is taking a holiday (more often). Do dabble in cooking when ever required. Rest all share the responsibilities. We are equal right!

[shankar.balan]

We believe we are partners in all that we do. Marriage is like a merger in that sense.

My wife works just as hard if not harder than I do, is highly qualified and very good at her work, highly appreciated and accoladed too, by her employers past and present.

Thats why we employ people to look after our home requirements so that we can actually use our time at home in a profitable manner.

It is impractical and unfair to expect a person who has worked all day at a professional environment to come back and work at home too.

I personally don't mind any chores that I do with the dogs and so on because more than anything they are family members with whom I love spending time.

My wife does not drive and I don't think she wants to get into that given the chaos we live in, so I drop her and pick her up most times. We also go out together always except when I go for my golf game.

I think it is important to lay the foundations of PARTNERSHIP between spouses on Day 1 of either dating, going out or getting engaged/ married.

The bottom line is sharing, caring and open-ness.

[girishglg]

As in nature, perfect balance is achieved if both entities of object is equally balanced like the Ying and Yang.

Hence more balanced and equal the status of women, the stability of the family is much greater.

The key is to find those balancing elements that would help acheiving that equality and perfect harmony (at least near perfect )

[bblost]

Came across this lovely advertisement and felt like adding it here.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJukf4ifuKs

[Chetan_Rao]

I'm of the opinion the moment I have to make a conscious effort to treat someone equally, I've already lost the plot. Your partner in anything is a human being first and all relationships come later, so if one doesn't believe in 'human equality', all efforts at relationship level will never go beyond artificial pretenses at balance.

As for the daily grind, there are no fixed chores in our home (though I'm the designated laborer for some heavy lifting stuff), and we both do the same stuff based on who's available to do it. I spent a decade as a lone bachelor in an apartment and I've never taken a liking to getting others to clean up/do stuff for me (my mother says I have impossible standards), so there's hardly a chore I haven't done myself over the years.

I'm the early riser with a (sort of) fixed working schedule, while she works random, often long hours owing to the nature of her work. I like my silent couple of hours in the morning while she's catching up on lost sleep, and she prefers having some of the evening to herself. I usually cook in the mornings (I don't get to work until noon), and she does the dinner. Weekends are time for my culinary experiments so she stays out of the way.

We spend time together and apart, take vacations together and solo when we need space, make joint decisions for stuff that affects us both and solo decisions for individual personal stuff that's none of the other person's business!

Long story short, I've known my partner since I was a little lad still wearing shorts to school and she sported braided pigtails, and our relationship on a human level hasn't really changed much, if at all. I don't have to treat her as an equal, she's always been by default

[Pequod]

A subject very close to my heart.

Sharing household chores is only one part, the real meaning i guess is respecting the other individuals' right to have their own choices and just letting them be themselves, without judgement.

While me and my wife do not have any set routine for sharing household work, I do chip in before and after office by keeping the house clean, doing the dishes, and most importantly giving her some respite from our garrulous five year old . She chose to forsake her career for the little one, and I have the deepest respect for that.

We also make it a point to drive home the point to our little girl that there is nothing about ability to do with gender. Often subtle biases tend to creep in from other sources, and we make double efforts to reinforce otherwise.