[Thad E Ginathom]

My father taught my mother to drive long before I was born.

He was still doing it many decades later, when, due to medical complications, he was unable to drive himself any longer. She accepted it patiently, all those years, even though she was at least as good a driver as him (I had two good examples to follow ).

Sn1p3er, I think you and she have many happy years ahead in which you can share your expertise and enjoyment of cars together. You want to teach her about how to be in the right gear? It sounds like she will be quite receptive to a conversation about mechanics!

I happily accept general comments from my wife, eg "you're driving aggressively today" --- and sometimes, I even act on them!

Whilst I don't expect my passengers (of whatever relationship) to nag me on my driving skills or style, I have had the following conversation, or equivalent, many, many times:

"There's a bike coming out of that street"

"Yes, I saw it"

"Do you mind me saying things like that?

"No. If I saw it myself, then it doesn't matter, but if I didn't see it then you could be saving a life"

[pjbiju]

There are two things.

The first one is an issue of rash or dangerous driving. It cannot be easily corrected if the person believes that she/he is a good driver. One way to correct that is already suggested. Let other people make it clear to the person that their driving is rash and/or dangerous and refuse to get into the car if she/he is driving. This kind of driving includes the following

• Wrong overtaking maneuvers, the most dangerous one in my opinion
• Changing lanes without any signaling
• Cutting through corners on T junctions or on any curve
• Excessive honking
• Driving too fast under circumstances that tells you to drive slower.
• And many more.

The second issue of people using the car incorrectly either because they do not know or because they do not care. Examples of this are

• Not slowing down for speed breakers or potholes
• Using incorrect gears (leading to lugging the engine, riding the clutch, vehicle stalling, controlling the vehicle using brakes on downhill rides instead of using the correct gear etc.)
• Not taking care of the vehicle (leaving the dents, scratches and other niggles unattended)
• Driving with no lights, horns etc.

It might be easier to get the second issue fixed than the first issue by talking to the person gently and logically, explaining one thing at a time. It might take time, but it should work.

Perseverence and patience will pay. Best of luck.

[Kairalee]

Originally Posted by pjbiju

The second issue of people using the car incorrectly either because they do not know or because they do not care. Examples of this are

• Not slowing down for speed breakers or potholes

.

Most SUV drivers do not slow down for speed breakers/potholes and its not because they 'dont know'. Maybe they dont care, since the SUV will not be affected by doing this.

But if it endangers other users of the road, then that's not a good thing.

[Capitalson]

Hi Sn1p3r,

Well, well, well, man!!! do i understand your grief! But it's just the reverse with my wife. Though she learnt to drive in India, she never once drove here. Her total driving experience was in Bay area, USA lasting for 7 years. Now that we both are back in India, i bought her a i10 AT Sportz model. And she insists on driving to work everyday. Delhi traffic could easily be the craziest. And my dear wife takes it very slowly and cheerfully. She allows all the pedestrians to barge in front of her car and cross the road (Pedestrians come first, in USA, but the scenario is entirely different there, you all will surely agree). While entering a main road from a sub--lane, she completely stops the car (with about 6 cars, 8 motorcycles, 5 autos and may be 4 cycles behind) cautiously scans the right side for any traffic and then the left while all those stranded behind her start to honk furiously.

There is more to it, but i guess, this would suffice. So, take a deep breath. Sit back and enjoy the ride. The wife is the boss and the boss is always right. Ok?

[Sn1p3r]

I think perseverance pays. Kudos to your wife to follow the rules. Civility/class can be comprehended from way some drive their cars/bikes.

As for me: I now sit with her and get strapped even before she does (hint 1: I am ready for all action, sweetheart), I then say a little prayer for all the mechanical components that will surely be struggling (shhhh! all in my head) [she gets the idea I am preparing for the tantrum] and then smile ear to ear every time my heart wrench (I am getting good at it too, practice practice until you succeed) [play it Mr. Cool]. Also once she is annoyed at others, I try to read a joke or two to get her smiling again (else she has a black belt and can cause serious damage to the receiver) [the cockpit is like flaming hot, if it was to her, someone was to be squashed for driving negligence and we would never see India again].

Of-late she has been happy with the automatic transmission (that I seriously think will save the car from her albeit at the expense of environment and poor brake pads).

I now have meticulously traced the problem to we should not rent a car in EU/US.

Reasoning: The trouble is that we spend some quality time in Europe and US and thus getting back to India and the driving conditions here creates hell for the impatient(read: my wife/multi-tasker/the tourer). The change of habitat/chariot gets her unsettled more than me and thus the car/mechanicals/the wrong doers on the road face the wrath of the uninitiated.

I always give right of way even if it is mine for the taking as the art to drive in Delhi/Gurgaon is to drown the honking with Rock and smile at everyone that drives perfectly. The car takes a beating for sure as the foot is always unsettled and undecided between clutch and brake.

[Capitalson]

Hi All,

So, deep meditation and prayers from the heart are the solution-providers. Remember Jesus of Nazareth, "Forgive them, for they know not what they are doing"?