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Old 18th April 2022, 20:14   #46
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Re: The "Being Nice" experience thread

Sharing my thoughts on this thread.

My take on "being nice" probably comes from the surrounding we grow up in. In my case I've seen my father and mother being nice in many situations and probably that has spread to me also. And now I can see that habit slowly spread to my son also. While growing up in the US for a few years, I remember my dad being nice on many occasions - for example driving all the way to JFK from Princeton just to pick up a known acquaintances several times. My mom saying "thank you" at the checkout counter. My dad driving all the way from Princeton to New York with a Pakistani family who were our neighbors for their 3 month old son's heart surgery - we are still friends with that family and the 3 month old guy is now all grown up and doing great in life. These are just a few examples. All of this happened in the mid 80's when I was still a youngster. And another incident that happened in 1985 was I found a wallet in the parking lot of a shopping mall, told my dad and he asked me to take it. It had a contact number of the person inside and we called him once we reached home. The American gentleman was really happy when he got his wallet back and as a token of appreciation, handed me 20USD. That was the time when Africa was suffering from famine and the famous USA for Africa concert was held - the song "We are the world" and I contributed 20USD without any hesitation - my parents influence I guess.

Fast forward to 1999 - during my stint in the UK as a student, I learned a lot from the Brits. A few things, not standing where you block the elevator doors or the doors of the Tube. Making way for elderly people when boarding the Tube - I still remember an elderly British couple thanking me once "Thanks a lot young man". Saying thank you to the person at the counter or cheers or "Ta".

I carried this habit back to India and still follow it. Initially when I came back in 2001, I used to thank you at the counter and initially a lot of these cashiers were shocked in Chennai. But nowadays a lot of people say thank you. Another habit I still follow is whenever there is a family waiting to cross the road, I stop and let them go - provided there is no mad rush behind me. This is possible in small roads inside our locality. Whenever I see a lady sitting pillion and her shawl dangling, I make it a point to go and tell them.

The two words "thank you" can make a lot of difference in peoples lives. For example whenever I receive an order from swiggy or amazon, I make sure I say "thanks thambi" - thanks younger brother. At airports, I say thank you the bus drivers who ferry us from and to the aircraft. I say thanks to the government bus and omni bus drivers after a long journey. We at home offer a glass of water, tea or even lunch to technicians who visit our house.


And one final gesture from my dad - a few years ago a student who had completed his MSc in Physics had come to meet my dad (my dad is a senior research professor in Physics). My dad welcomed him and found that this person had a potential. So he took him as his research assistant, trained him and now that person is doing his PhD in Italy. Another amazing fact about this person is that his level of English is very less and after completing his MSc, he worked as a long distance lorry driver for a few years.

Again a small gesture can go a long way and I have personally experienced it and will continue to do so till the end.
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Old 18th April 2022, 21:04   #47
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Re: The "Being Nice" experience thread

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Originally Posted by ArTigor View Post
4- Always ask the auto drivers to keep the change, once I was running short of 7 rupees and autowalla did not have gpay, he said it is okay and left off.
This is something that happened to me before the days of FastTag where we had to pay for tolls manually. While driving from Bangalore to Mysore via Nelamangala, there were so many toll booths that we had to pay small sums of money that we did not have change .
I am a plastic cash kind of person and my mom unfortunately had not packed enough change with her as she thought I had everything that's required. By the 2nd toll booth, I had asked the operator if there was any ATM nearby to which he replied in the negative. When I showed him I had no change and all I had were 500 rupee notes, he gave me a slip and told me to show this along my route so that I do not have to face the same situation. This was a god send as all the other operators took one look at the note which said in Kannada "let him through" and raised their blockade for us.
My mom was so touched by the operator's help that she made me return via the same route, stop at the toll both and offer the folks there, Maddur Vadas (that we had got packed for the journey) and the 500 rupees that I had initially offered! They were very touched by the gesture and remarked that this might be the first time someone crossed the entire set of booths to deliver food to them .

Lesson learned, a good deed never goes unappreciated. And for me, I always carry change in my car even though I have a FastTag on my windshield.
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Old 18th April 2022, 21:57   #48
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Re: The "Being Nice" experience thread

Just thought I will do an exercise to recollect how world has been nice to me.

I remember being offered a seat in train by a girl - so all of my family can be together

I remember when all my colleagues came rushing to my help when I was in a medical emergency.

I remember my manager being kind to me when I hadn't met my commitments

I remember how my family is kind to me - all the time. How they put with me is a mystery to me.

I have a circle of friends and acquaintances thats hardly abusive and work all the time to support me. How I have rarely been turned down when I have asked for help.

Oh how can I forget how strangers came forward to help when my friend was in a covid emergency

It's easy to miss all the life sustaining forces around us in the cacophony of negativity.

I am grateful to this world. 🙏. How I couldn't have been me had I not met the kind people of this world.
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Old 19th April 2022, 10:36   #49
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Re: The "Being Nice" experience thread

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Originally Posted by adithya.kp View Post
The problem is that, we run out 20/30 change and paying by UPI is not convenient. How do you guys handle this problem? Perhaps a good idea to stock them if banks issue such notes.
I'm a bit fortunate in this regard to have bankers in family. I withdraw few bundles of 20s and 50s(brand new notes) through them. Whoever I hand them to, is 1% extra happy(I guess?) to accept

Last edited by amods : 19th April 2022 at 10:38.
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Old 19th April 2022, 11:27   #50
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Re: The "Being Nice" experience thread

When driving, I've made it a point to not honk or I slow down with enough space gap when I see any elderly person driving or a child being carried on a two wheeler. Often times, I even stop my vehicle completely if some old person wants to cross the road and let them cross it without the stress of any vehicle passing by.

Another small behavior change I adopted was to greet or smile at the security guards at my place of residence, work and even other places like malls.
Apart from this, I make it a point to say thank you to everyone that does any serving, be it the local kirana shopkeeper or the street side tea vendor.

I feel it makes a huge difference when you respect all humans, value everyone's effort and time, and also let them know of the same.
Boosts your own as well as other's morale, I guess.

Last edited by S2K : 19th April 2022 at 11:28. Reason: Fixed a typo
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Old 19th April 2022, 12:19   #51
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Re: The "Being Nice" experience thread

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Originally Posted by Satish Pari View Post
. Another habit I still follow is whenever there is a family waiting to cross the road, I stop and let them go - provided there is no mad rush behind me. This is possible in small roads inside our locality.
I picked up all the habits you did from the UK too. But learned the hard way when I was back in India. Once I stopped for a kid crossing with his cycle at a zebra crossing. A bike overtook me (because I was stupid to stop the car at a zebra crossing!) and hit the unsuspecting kid. Thankfully the kid and the cycle were safe but it could have been much worse.

Another time, a couple walked into the zebra crossing on a 60kmph highway with good traffic. They should not have but the young couple probably thought they had the right of way ( they do technically but the cars were at speed). I braked hard to avoid them - a car hit me from behind. My kid was in the car seat and had a good jolt. And I will never forget the smile the lady who was crossing flashed at me. Selfish creature!
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Old 19th April 2022, 16:47   #52
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Re: The "Being Nice" experience thread

It amazes me how diverse Team-BHP is in spite of being an automotive forum primarily! I need to step up a lot after reading such amazing deeds of kindness, I admit. Few things I do, more often than not are:

1. Offer some tips to the guy who is standing the whole day in the sun on the highway just to have few more customers at the dhaba. Yesterday, while returning from a trip, we stopped at a dhaba where this shaky old man was doing the job. Really felt moved and realized that this habit of tipping such people might help them in whatever small way possible.

2. Strike an odd conversation with the odd ice cream seller, the odd cab driver, the odd waiter at the restaurant while on trips. I observed, many of such people are far away from their home and such conversations put a smile on their face, especially if those are related to their hometown.
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Old 19th April 2022, 22:23   #53
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Re: The "Being Nice" experience thread

Wanted to share this app with everyone. Thanks a ton for bringing this topic.
I wish all of us installed apps like these:

Active Giving

The "Being Nice" experience thread-file-1.jpg The "Being Nice" experience thread-file.jpg

Every Kilometer that you run or cycle or walk, earns trees. It started off with a tree every 10Kms of Cycling or every 10 Kms of walking, and 2 trees every 10 Kms of running. However, over the last few days, each activity is yielding lesser and lesser trees. However, I feel good that someone is planting trees for my activities.

This makes me walk almost whenever we have to shop, and we end up taking long routes and try and finish all kinds of shopping while walking. Also, I cycle to the gym, and ensure I have my strava hooked to this app. So weekend Cycling events are usually earning a lot of trees.

There are other apps that are stricter. They grow trees for every Car ride that we substitute with a bicycle ride.

How do these apps work?
Big corporates are obliged to promote tree growing, and they look for these apps to inculcate fitness amongst their employees. So, corporates sponsor every tree that is planted.
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Old 19th April 2022, 23:29   #54
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Re: The "Being Nice" experience thread

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Originally Posted by Shanky_1002 View Post
I keep 15-20 Parle G packets and candies in my car to give away to kids we bump into on the road/ traffic signals and also to feed stray puppies. The joy I get to see that smile or those wagging tails is totally blissful. Also we give any extra food or clothing items we may have to the elderly security folks in our apartment, the way they bless us is truly heart warming.
Please dont give food to random kids, I know your intentions are good, but just be completely aware of the situations or if their parents are around etc.. If you recall just a few years ago multiple people were lynched in different parts of the country because of rumors of some child nabbers in cars making rounds! Mobs are very unpredictable in our country!
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Old 25th April 2022, 17:13   #55
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Re: The "Being Nice" experience thread

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Originally Posted by anand.shankar View Post
Please dont give food to random kids, I know your intentions are good, but just be completely aware of the situations or if their parents are around etc.
Thank you for thoughtful concern! However what I meant in my post was, we only give to the needy, kids / elderly folks selling pens, tissue boxes etc. on signals, I'd be mindful of it going forward.

One time I got 25 boxes of veg biryani made and we went around the streets of Bangalore to find needy people to feed, we try to do it on all special occasions, b'days, anniversaries, in memory of a loved one. Beggars on the streets were not interested in food at all, all they need was money, we gave some to road construction workers soaked in dust, some to homeless people, lastly we found a elderly couple who were struggling to find something to eat in a trash can nearby a small eatery around late night. When offered food there were perplexed at first, a little later they had tears and I felt really happy for being able to help them with a meal. Moments like these made me realize how blessed we are to have a meal on the table 3 times a day 365 days a year.
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Old 25th April 2022, 22:16   #56
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Re: The "Being Nice" experience thread

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Originally Posted by Shanky_1002 View Post
Moments like these made me realize how blessed we are to have a meal on the table 3 times a day 365 days a year.
Absolutely, can't agree more with what you said!

I see you are in Bangalore, if you are doing this as a group, I'd be happy to participate. But if it's something you do as a family or if it's personal, then I understand.
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Old 26th April 2022, 13:45   #57
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Re: The "Being Nice" experience thread

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Originally Posted by anand.shankar View Post
I see you are in Bangalore, if you are doing this as a group, I'd be happy to participate. But if it's something you do as a family or if it's personal, then I understand.
I do this on a personal level, I've few friends in Delhi though who do this as a group- distributing blankets to homeless people on cold winter nights etc. I'd be happy to join few like minded people in Bangalore who are willing to come together and help the needy/ homeless people in whatever way it's feasible for the individuals.
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Old 26th April 2022, 14:53   #58
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Re: The "Being Nice" experience thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by vinya_jag View Post
Wanted to share this app with everyone.
I wish all of us installed apps like these:

How do these apps work?
Big corporates are obliged to promote tree growing, and they look for these apps to inculcate fitness amongst their employees. So, corporates sponsor every tree that is planted.
No offense but let us not equate actual nice deeds with the placebo feel-good offered by some app or corporate. Moreover, you are not doing anything out of the way. I personally take these CSR activities like carbon credit buying with a bucket of salt.

My humble request is to keep this thread to first-hand experiences or actions.
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Old 13th May 2022, 17:22   #59
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Re: The "Being Nice" experience thread

This happened recently on a Bangalore to Delhi flight.

I was travelling alone and had the window seat. Next to me was a gentleman around 50 years old on middle seat. The aisle seat was empty.

Right from start when the aircraft started taxiing towards the runway, the gentleman kept looking out of the window. 5 minutes after takeoff, he is still looking at the window non-stop and seems he is really enjoying the view. Not to mention I am an unintended obstruction for him.

Few more minutes go by and then I offered him the window seat. He agrees and I move to the aisle seat. Now the middle seat is empty.

Some time later, he calls his female co-passenger (most probably his wife) who was sitting in another row, gives her the window seat and himself shifts to the middle seat. As soon as she sits in the window seat, both of them start talking joyously, taking pics of the sky on their phone and a few selfies as well. Both of them were happy and spent most of the time gazing out.

The gentleman asked me something which I didn’t understand because I was not familiar with the language. Could be Kannada since we took off from Bangalore. He finally says two words in English where I figured out he was trying to ask my native place. This is all we could talk. He then gave me a smile and went back talking to his wife. Most probably it was the first time they were travelling on a flight. Costed nothing to make a couple of strangers happy, even though it was for a very small duration.

Last edited by Aditya : 13th May 2022 at 21:02. Reason: Minor typo
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Old 13th May 2022, 20:16   #60
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Re: The "Being Nice" experience thread

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Originally Posted by warrioraks View Post
Costed nothing to make a couple of strangers happy, even though it was for a very small duration.
What a lovely experience. Reminded me of an experience long back in the cold winters of Chicago. I had just moved to the US and about a month later, I took a Greyhound bus from Chicago to Cleveland. A slightly old (50+) 'brown' man, clearly from the subcontinent took the seat next to me, a rarity in a bus filled with mostly white folks. The first 2 hours were passed in silence.

The bus stopped at a rest area midway and this was the point for having dinner. We decided to share a table there and finally the ice was broken over food. Turned out my co-passenger was from Pakistan and he had correctly identified me as Indian and didn't feel comfortable talking to me (assuming I might turn out rude to him). Once that was cleared up, it was as if the flood gates were opened up.

In a mix of English & bits of Urdu/Hindi he went on telling me how he's spent over 25 years driving a truck across the highways of US and how his kids have grown up and gone their own ways and now he's planning on retiring and many other aspects of his life. Seemed like he just wanted someone to talk to, and I offered him that for the next two hours till we reached Cleveland.


Sometimes small actions at our end make a lot of impact on the other side.
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