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Old 27th April 2022, 20:07   #1
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How do I teach my mom to drive a car?

Hello BHPians.

This might seem like a very silly question, but please hear me out.

I am pursuing my B.Tech in Automobile Engineering and i am all about automobiles since 3. I am 20 right now, and my family owns a 2016 Maruti Suzuki WagonR VXi Manual. We actually booked an AGS model back then, but relatives had told us that repairs would be expensive on automatic models. Us being car owners for the first time, got intimidated a bit and requested our order to be changed to a manual one. I learnt it when I was 16 with a little help (I'm a visual learner- i learnt how to control pedals and shift gears by observing cab drivers) and aced it within a week. I got my 4+2 licence couple of years ago back home in Hyderabad.

My mom has this extreme passion for driving. She has this junoon of driving the car all by herself. She often compliments me saying that I'm handling the car like a "leo toy". She had a Kinetic Zoom DX back in the day and she used to tell me how she used to race against her classmates on their Hero Hondas and their Kawasakis till Golconda. She's in her fifties now, and has a Hero Maestro for local runabouts. I feel its not safe for her to travel anything more than 3km on her scooter. Whenever I'm home, I drive her to far places like her friend's places or any gatherings, functions, etc. I dont want her to depend on cab services as they mostly reject our ride requests and are expensive for the most part.

And we got her enrolled in Maruti driving classes. She took 12 classes for 8000 INR, and well that didn't work out. She understood the steering sense (judging the car's dimensions during driving), but she misses out on pedal management. She often stalls the car, and gets confused pretty quickly. Me being the younger one, I get frustruated pretty quickly and feel bad later because of that. But hey, they taught us how to walk. So this is my turn to be patient with her.

She tried driving all by herself once with me in the backseat. There was a lorry driver who was very impatient and decided to overtake us. He overtook us from the right side and ended up knocking off the right ORVM. She has been scared out of her wits since then.

So yeah, how do I teach my mom about the pedal management? And how do i teach her about the gear shifts? She feels panicked whenever we drive into traffic, even when I'm the one driving. How do I remove this fear from her? How do I make her understand that the clutch is the most important thing in the entire driving process?

Lady owners of this forum, ma'am, you are most welcome to give your inputs on understanding your machine, from your point. It just aches my heart that we have paid these many EMI's just for the car to be lying in the parking lot and be used whenever I come home. I don't want to be too technical in terms of teaching her how the machine works. It would help me a lot on knowing about your perspective. It's such a cute little machine and deserves all the love and miles she was made for.

And men this forum who had to teach your moms or better halves, your perspective is most welcome. It will be extremely useful for me. I can see from the eyes of a man teaching their loved ones. Either ways the experience will count for me, as I'll have to do it twice😉.

Thanking you all in advance,
TVS Krishna.
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Old 27th April 2022, 21:03   #2
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Re: How do I teach my mom to drive a car?

Quote:
Originally Posted by saitvsk23 View Post
Hello BHPians.

This might seem like a very silly question, but please hear me out.


So yeah, how do I teach my mom about the pedal management? And how do i teach her about the gear shifts? She feels panicked whenever we drive into traffic, even when I'm the one driving. How do I remove this fear from her?

Thanking you all in advance,
TVS Krishna.
Buddy I've been in this situation myself, my mom being a working woman in her early 50's . To put it simply, don't let her drive the car herself, sorry if I sound rude here. Let me explain why.

I've tried to teach my mum to ride scooter so that she can be self dependant, but she and I couldn't get over her fear of falling down. And in this age and the traffic menace on the roads, it doesn't make sense to enforce her with added responsibility of driving. Mind you driving requires 100 % of focus. My aunt in her late 40s learned to drive the car, she drives sufficiently good, yet my uncle hired a chauffer for her school runs (daily 80 kms commute is difficult to manage for anyone !)

I would advise you to hire a trusted chauffeur for her office / city commute or any trusted rikshawala in your area. This way you'll be stress free, she'll also be able to travel freely whenever and wherever she wants to. At my home, currently I'm my mom's chauffeur Whenever I'm not home, I've a trusted rikshawala just a call away, I just hand him over some extra cash so it's okay. My sister is also learning to drive car, so I'm not much worried now.

Last edited by GTO : 28th April 2022 at 08:32. Reason: Removing sexist comments, sorry buddy
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Old 27th April 2022, 21:46   #3
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Re: How do I teach my mom to drive a car?

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Originally Posted by Akshay6988 View Post
Buddy I've been in this situation myself, my mom being a working woman in her early 50's . To put it simply, don't let her drive the car herself, sorry if I sound rude here. Let me explain why.
Thank you so much for your opinion. My mom's a housemaker. Even she's got her own fair share of troubles and thoughts running in her mind 24x7. I agree that driving a car requires all of your focus.

Being a middle-class family, owning a car is a pretty big thing for us, till date. Even in this day and age my dad puts a hand on his chest (in exclamation) if he hears that the car has to be serviced. He feels that the car is just a white elephant. So keeping a designated driver, AND paying him is just "aamir log" things to us simple beings��.

So its back to the pavillion. But thank you so much for your thoughts.

Last edited by GTO : 28th April 2022 at 08:32. Reason: Trimming quoted post
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Old 27th April 2022, 21:52   #4
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Re: How do I teach my mom to drive a car?

Not sure my thoughts would help but here goes:

I feel that clutch management is the biggest hurdle towards learning to drive at an older age. Not sure if you can get an automatic immediately but maybe you can try to get her to drive an automatic from your friends and family circle and see if that helps. I have seen older first time learners (typically 30+) folks take to automatic more easily than manuals hence the suggestion
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Old 27th April 2022, 21:58   #5
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Re: How do I teach my mom to drive a car?

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Originally Posted by arvind71181 View Post
Not sure my thoughts would help but here goes:

I feel that clutch management is the biggest hurdle towards learning to drive at an older age. Not sure if you can get an automatic immediately but maybe you can try to get her to drive an automatic from your friends and family circle and see if that helps. I have seen older first time learners (typically 30+) folks take to automatic more easily than manuals hence the suggestion
I am 100% sure that my mom will get used to an automatic very easily. As previously mentioned, she already can judge the dimensions of the car while steering it. Only the pedal management is a problem. No one in my family has an automatic car. And even if i find one and ask her to drive, Indian moms being the proudy peacocks they are, she'll feel bad. It'll basically be like rubbing salt on those wounds. She's already cursing those relatives pretty badly.😂

Thank you for your opinion.
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Old 27th April 2022, 22:20   #6
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Re: How do I teach my mom to drive a car?

Great thought buddy! I do not much to add here, but would wish you all the best!

I am in a different dilima here!

I bought not one, but two automatic cars, one manual Alto for my wife so that she can feel comfortable driving whichever works for her the best. Her father handed her the keys of his Honda City manual so that she to learn to drive, while she was visiting them.
I spent on her driving classes not once, but thrice. Engaged a very good known driver so that she could learn to drive in our own car. I myself tried to motivate her by going with her for her driving lessons.
End result? She still can't drive!

So finally, I made my mind understand that not everything is meant for everyone. Like, my mother and my wife have given up on me about me being able to cook! Heck I don't even understand at what time do we consider the water has boiled, leave alone, preparing a cup of tea!

But, neither of us are complaining! She is happy with me being on the driver's seat, while I am happy that she is preparing some good recipes for me!

Last edited by ObsessedByFIAT : 27th April 2022 at 22:22.
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Old 27th April 2022, 22:25   #7
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Re: How do I teach my mom to drive a car?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ObsessedByFIAT View Post
Great thought buddy! I do not much to add here, but would wish you all the best!

I am in a different dilima here!

I bought not one, but two automatic cars, one manual Alto for my wife so that she can feel comfortable driving whichever works for her the best. Her father handed her the keys of his Hinda City manual so that she to learn to drive, while she was visiting them.
I spent on her driving classes not ince, but thrice. Engaged a very good known driver so that she could learn to drive in our own car. I myself tried to motivate her by going with her for her driving lessons.
End result? She still can't drive!

So finally, I made my mind understand that not everything is meant for everyone. Like, my mother and my wife have given up on me about me learning to cook! Heck I don't even understand at what time do we consider the water has boiled, leave alone, preparing a cup of tea!

But, neither of us are complaining! She is happy with me being on the driver's seat, while I am happy that she is preparing some good recipes for me!
I don't know how to reply to this, so I'll say that's amazing😂


Thanks for replying though. I can't give up on that, bas mann nahi karta (I dont have the heart to give up).
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Old 27th April 2022, 22:41   #8
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Re: How do I teach my mom to drive a car?

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Originally Posted by saitvsk23 View Post
Hello BHPians.

My mom has this extreme passion for driving. ......
Firstly, keep the lessons very very simple and don’t mind about giving several unsuccessful attempts. You will need to first make her understand how to shift gears and the very essential use of clutch while doing so, without getting into any technicalities. You may need to make her practice it a lot while the car is not running. Then you will need to set very simple rules about the gear shifts, like say 0-10 kmph: first gear, 10-20 kmph : second gear etc. (the exact range will depend on the particular model). After all these if she start managing the car by herself, time and experience are the only cures for her feeling of panic while driving in traffic.

The best part is she already is in control of the steering wheel.
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Old 27th April 2022, 23:22   #9
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Re: How do I teach my mom to drive a car?

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Originally Posted by saitvsk23 View Post
.

So keeping a designated driver, AND paying him is just "aamir log" things to us simple beings😂.

So its back to the pavillion. But thank you so much for your thoughts.
My apologies, I forgot to think about money aspect in this scenario. Here's another way - many of the good driving classes have these simulators with screen, gear stick and all three pedals, with steering wheel. Let your mom practice on that simulator for say a week, till she learns about biting point of the clutch, smooth release of pedals and gear shifts, then you can teach her same thing right after on an open empty ground. I'm guessing Maruti Suzuki driving classes would have one of those simulators ! Do look for same, wishing you and mom good luck !
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Old 28th April 2022, 00:03   #10
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Re: How do I teach my mom to drive a car?

Well, i feel somewhat qualified in offering advice here because i succesfully taught my wife how to drive (or so i like to believe).

It was essential to me that she learns driving because i was kind of weary from driving non-stop during family trips. I started off by walking her through all the basics of the IC engine, the components, what each pedal actually does, what is going on inside, the whole nine yards. She was a quick learner but tended to lose focus on multiple things which led to me shouting, and often times ended up with me being on the receiving end of divorce threats.

She fully learnt driving only when - i know you'll hate to hear this - she drove alone. Without unnecessary inputs from me. For a non-technical person, there is already information overload while driving, and people like us (reasonably safe drivers) tend to constantly voice our anticipation of a probable situation. Like for instance, upon seeing a motorcyclist in our path at an intersection, i would invariably expect him to cross over from the wrong side and take precaution to prevent an accident. This constant nagging was too much for my wifey to handle. Hence, she found the courage one day and brought the car to the airport to receive me. Once that hurdle was crossed, there was no stopping her. She even learnt parallel parking from youtube. The downside is that now i have to listen to her criticise my driving all the time.

My 2cents - there is no substitute to practice. Let your mum have sufficient practice in your presence, then (when you feel it is safe) slowly let her drive alone on empty roads / parking lots. It will build up her confidence immensely. Progress to driving in traffic after that.

Last edited by S.Marine : 28th April 2022 at 00:23. Reason: Completed the earlier incomplete post
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Old 28th April 2022, 00:06   #11
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Re: How do I teach my mom to drive a car?

We did take maruti classes, i had mentioned it in the first post. She didn't feel comfortable with the simulator at all. It felt like a poorly developed Android driving simulator on steroids.
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Old 28th April 2022, 00:19   #12
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Re: How do I teach my mom to drive a car?

If you guys can afford it, chuck the MT & get her an AT car. Pedal management in an MT takes time & aptitude to adapt to. Gets tougher as one ages. Also she comes from the gearless Kinetic Honda background (my sisters had one).

If not, try to get the services of a very patient tutor - eg. a KSRTC driver in our area is renowned for patiently putting new drivers through their paces.
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Old 28th April 2022, 01:01   #13
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Re: How do I teach my mom to drive a car?

She'll get the hang of it. I say this only because of this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by saitvsk23 View Post
Hello BHPians.
My mom has this extreme passion for driving. She has this junoon of driving the car all by herself. She often compliments me saying that I'm handling the car like a "leo toy".
My guess is many people aren't able to learn to drive(or just about anything) because they are doing it out of compulsion/requirement and not junoon. Now I don't say I'm the best driver but 3rd gear, 40kmph; U-turns, and reversing are now strong points in hardly 15 days of learning.

My idea would be to take the car on an empty road with hardly any traffic/stimuli. Let her get the hang of gears there. Just keep driving. Once she is comfortable driving at 40-50, turning, U-turns and reverse. ONLY then move to city traffic. I'm sure you'd know what type of traffic what localities have. So increase the level of the game gradually. Don't take the car directly on bumper to bumper traffic areas.
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Old 28th April 2022, 02:05   #14
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Re: How do I teach my mom to drive a car?

If the finances can be taken care of, do consider changing over to an AT. She'll be able to focus more on the driving part rather than be on edge all the time fearing stalling, people honking at her etc. We too had an Indigo as our first car, mum did learn to drive it but used to get all worked up and flustered often in traffic.Then Maruti launched AMT celerio and we got home one, sold off the Indigo. She's fully independent since, infact she drives more often than my father! The sheer convenience an automatic brings to the table will be able to overcome any resistance she has and be much happier for it.

Else, tonnes of patience, practice and prayers !!
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Old 28th April 2022, 07:01   #15
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Re: How do I teach my mom to drive a car?

Get your mom to a place where there is no traffic. Let her practice a lot there, where there is no problem if the vehicle stalls. Practice a lot there and then slowly up the ante - wide roads and early mornings first, slowly moving to more challanging roads.

Having said all this, I also suggest you keep a timeline (say 6 months) and things don't work out, think about getting an auto car. I understand this is bad on finances, but still better than no car at all.
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