[humyum]

Dad is yellin from the bathroom “Bank closes at 2 o clock” Darn its 1:50.

Grab the car keys,run down and witness a site which makes me sing the angry version of ‘Who let the dogs out’ !#%^$# %@#@$
That dog is sleepin on the hood of my car!!!

Get a stick and push him down amid some resistance from the doggy world.
Who would like being thrown out of their bed anyway?.Get on with my work

Starin at the full moon outside,cool breeze,one look down and I see half a hood.
WHAT AGAIN!!!!!

Now this is turning out to be a game of cat and mouse.

Wake up the next morning,quietly proceed towards the car with the mouse sleeping.
As I near him the hunter gets hunted.

Since when did dogs think about having watch dogs??

Soldier 2 arrives all guns about to attack.I freeze.2 on 1 is not a fair game.

Soldier 1 gets up and is ready,steady..just has to hear a PO..!!

I quietly back off. The mutts have their heads high and get back on my hood. !@#$$%#
The question is how can a Nepal win over an India?

To answer this question China comes to the rescue.Marksman2004

Single shot ,480 feet per second,plastic pellets.

Next morning I look down and the scenario hasn’t change but I have an evilish tinge in my eye.

Police officer style I shout.UNFREEZE,Move your body.

Out comes the watch dog,I say ‘that means u too retard’

He looks at the gun with a ??? look.One more step and the ??? will be ??? no more

Seems like he in a lot of girly company these days,his ??? gets the better of him

BOOM,BOOM.Both of them singin the nasal himesh way with their butts visible and slowly turning into dots.

Victory!!!HURRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YY

Get back home with a sense of my meaningful existence ,chest upfront.

Next morning,with a sense of pride I stand in the balcony,look down to see my captured hood.

***

Its no more captured,its reinstated by enemy forces.
Marksman 2004,himesh,small dot,Marksman 2004,himesh,small dot…..raised to 20

Some days later,neighbour calls “ Dog is shi!!ing near my car please fire some rounds”

Realising that situation could get out of hand and himesh could start shi!!ing on my territory I decide to abandon shi!..!!ship I mean.!!

If u cant win them, get them on your side and that is exactly what I do

Get a small blanket,park it on the hood.

I m happy,my hood is happy,enemy is happy.

As for the watchdog,lets just say he was fired..!!!

Peace is restored in paradise,Everytime I try to catch the cool breeze I make it a point to look down and praise myself.Maybe I should have been a politician but such is life dearies.

lovely write up. glad it ended well for everyone.

[lambuhere1]

Dogs under the car sleeping, peeing on the car wheels was observed, But SLEEPING on the hood is awesome. Probably they want to show that they are at a higher level in intelli also.

Good to hear your account and the solution

[maddy42]

Well humyum i remember you telling once that someone feeds the dogs on the cars bonnet. Is it still happening? So now you guys signed some sort of treaty huh? Great writeup dude

[ravi@64bhp]

Really funny to read. I have never seen dogs climbing on to the hood and roof of the car.

[humyum]

Originally Posted by maddy42

Well humyum i remember you telling once that someone feeds the dogs on the cars bonnet. Is it still happening? So now you guys signed some sort of treaty huh? Great writeup dude

Thanks maddy.The guy does not talk to me anymore,but the dog still waits for him on top of my car,but now its blanketed so no more scratches,pug marks.The dog and me are friends now.I go,he gets down.I take the car.
I park the car,park the blanket,and he gets onto his domain again.
Its so funny,that my whole building apppreciates our pact.
ravi@64bhp: i have so many pictures of these dogs climbing many other of my building cars.These guys take a runup,climb the bonnet and next step the hood.smart fellaws

[maddy42]

Well dogs. I remember we use to park our car in the porch and our dogs used to sleep on the bonnet for the sake of the warmth.
The best story was that of one person who had this Eclass Merc. His car had scratch marks on the bonnet!!! No wonder one needs to cover the cars while parking

[leodelg]

there is physical evidence that our neighbourhood stray dog sleeps on not only the hood of my car, but also the roof!! There is usually a lot of paw prints and ugly claw scratches!

[lohithrao]

WOw very well written

Just saw couple dogs under my car, i guess need to watch them...dont want them to climb on my car and leave some bad SCRATCH on them!!

[Nitin]

haha..that was funny!! well written,humyum.

(OT:you might want to be careful about someone reporting you to the SPCA. I have a crazy friend who used to go nuts when animals were dealt with by humans. Thank God,she's not in India anymore.)

[csentil]

There are so many dogs in Bangalore. Can we send some to join your hood? The lazy bums here can't even runaway fast enough. I'm pretty sure am gonna runover one of them these days. I have to check under the car regularly if I park it outside. Don't know when I'm going to get one on my face !!!

Nice writeup. ;-)

[humyum]

Originally Posted by csentil

There are so many dogs in Bangalore. Can we send some to join your hood? The lazy bums here can't even runaway fast enough. I'm pretty sure am gonna runover one of them these days. I have to check under the car regularly if I park it outside. Don't know when I'm going to get one on my face !!!

Nice writeup. ;-)

Yeah sure send,some will face marksman2004 and some the blanket
Run them over by surprise and at slow speeds,so no damage to the car and one more bites the dust...j/k

[Xehaust]

Lovely way of writing the story, really enjoyed it and also got some insight as to how to tackle such a situation the peaceful way should it arise

[mukeshgoel]

From where can I buy Marksman2004 in Delhi (or online) ?

Monkeys have started to come in my area from last 10-15 days and today, one of them managed to enter the kitchen and spoiled everything he could.

Originally Posted by humyum

To answer this question China comes to the rescue.Marksman2004

Single shot ,480 feet per second,plastic pellets.

[gd1418]

I know it is an old post, but I read this today... A similar scenario happened with me many years ago when I was staying in vasant Kunj and had a Gypsy, M800Dx & Amby.

Amby was rarely used and most of the times remained parked. One day I saw a man & woman (husband & wife) spreading a banquet on the bonnet of the Amby for the street mutts. That explained the n number of scratches, leftovers etc., which my regular enquiries earlier had not elicited any positive response.

My rage knew no bounds and I lost my shirt. Picked up a wooden shaft from the Gypsy and whacked the nearest mutt with all my might. The continuous yelp and limping run prompted the othe mutts too to abandon the feast and scoot. (edited by navin)

By that time a mini mohalla crowd had gathered but none dared to come forward. A slew of unprintables were thrown at the man & woman and were made to wipe the bonnet clean with a promise that it wouldn't happen again as my threat of using my screwdriver and the wooden shaft to good use on their fairly new Maruti did the work. Since that day mutt or no mutt, not even homo sapiens were seen in the near vicinity of any of my cars.

I know my methods will be heavily frowned upon by most here, especially the treatment to meted out to the canines. But that was the best that I could ever think of. On the aside I must tell you, that the local mutts, from then on used to avoid me whenever I was seen loitering around..

Originally Posted by humyum

Thanks maddy.The guy does not talk to me anymore,but the dog still waits for him on top of my car,but now its blanketed so no more scratches,pug marks.The dog and me are friends now.I go,he gets down.I take the car.
I park the car,park the blanket,and he gets onto his domain again.
Its so funny,that my whole building apppreciates our pact.
ravi@64bhp: i have so many pictures of these dogs climbing many other of my building cars.These guys take a runup,climb the bonnet and next step the hood.smart fellaws