Trying to understand my own mistake!

girlieonwheels · 27th August 2008, 16:01

Hey Guys, I am going to narrate an incidence to you. This happened this morning. I need your feedback.

I want to understand my own mistake here. I am not able to figure out if I was really at fault in this incidence.

Ok, I reached office and the office parking was full. So I parked my car behind my office, this is an area where many people from our office park their cars. Its slushy area and some hawkers also stand there. This area is not actually our legal office parking but its safe for parking your car here. The guard does not watch over your car here, but you won’t usually have any problem.

Some days back I guess the municipality people had dug up some parts in this area and left the ditch open (...for unfortunate people like me). So this morning while parking my car I happened to go too close to one of this camouflaged ditch which I though was just slush. Result was as you thought; the front 2 wheels of my car got stuck there.

I tried a lot of times, but the wheels kept moving inside the ditch as they were not able to get a grip. In my constant struggle to take my car out, one of the wheels which was deep inside the ditch spilled a lot of mud on the car that was parked next to mine. This was a blue zen.

I completely agree and understand that I have no right to dirty someone else’s car, but I had absolutely no option. Anyway, taking out my car from that situation was a real chaos which really tired me emotionally. Finally the car was out (that’s another long story).

I came to office and started my work.

After lunch while I was busy a guy walked up to me and said in a intimidating tone “is xxxx your car’s number?”. I was like, “yes”. He said “saath vale car mere thie”, I had no idea what he was talking about. Then in a flash I realized that he is talking about the car that got dirty. I said “I am sorry, but my car had got stuck and I didn’t knew it was your car, I am sorry it got dirty”. He gave me an angry look and I don’t know what he mumbled inside his mouth (I guess he was swearing at me). I said “see I can get it washed if you want”, but he walked away looking at me as if I have murdered someone.

Trust me it was really disturbing.

It was just mud, I swear and that too just on the front side towards the wheel. And while all that happened, I had no idea that this zen belonged to someone in my office. If I had known, I think I would have written a mail saying sorry. But I didn’t know that, besides I was really upset because the way my car got out of this ditch finally was upsetting. I could smell the clutch plates being fried. I cursed myself for being so stupid (I still am).
And on top of that more upsetting was the behavior of this guy.
Was it my mistake?

I mean, I need to know that was it really wrong on my part that I didn’t tried to find out about this car’s owner.

Am I selfish that I bothered about my car only and didn’t bother about saying sorry to this person? I mean, did I really deserve this.
Actually, I hate myself for everything. I hate myself for driving into this ditch like a blind person.

tsk1979 · 27th August 2008, 16:16

Its not your mistake. If you car gets stuck you have to get it out, right?
This guy should go to MCD authority and complain about the slush.
If there is mud it will get splashed.
He can also go visit the gods to protest against the rain since light rain leaves a lot of dust spots on car.
And no need to feel sorry or hate yourself I work in Noida and I have also parked in a ditch twice, damaging the Tie rod of the car once. With the kind of roadside digging and all going on, you cannot avoid this!

Rudra Sen · 27th August 2008, 16:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by girlieonwheels

Actually, I hate myself for everything. I hate myself for driving into this ditch like a blind person.

This is the biggest mistake here. It has to change, girlieonwheels.

mjothi · 27th August 2008, 16:22

Me think the same. Its not mistake from your side. Infact you have offered him a wash at your cost. So, no way its a mistake or deliberate action. I can understand the frustration the other guy will have, but he should have moved in a better manner.
One the lighter side, it shows how much he cares for his own love. Good.

bblost · 27th August 2008, 16:23

An apology note left on that car would have helped cool matters.

Now that whats done is done. Introduce that guy to team-bhp.
He will be too busy reading the posts to remain angry with you.
Plus a simple gift for his car like ambi pure with a sorry card would be nice.

How many of us would have behaved any better if we found our car or bike spoiled for no fault of ours?

amitoj · 27th August 2008, 16:24

LOL. You are not mean enough to drive here.

But jokes apart, I'm sure that guy must be feeling sorry for his behaviour, specially after you offered to get his car washed.

Most people treat machines better than humans. You should be glad you arent one of them.

lambuhere1 · 27th August 2008, 16:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by girlieonwheels

I hate myself for everything. I hate myself for driving into this ditch like a blind person.

I dont think you need to hate yourself for anything for that matter. A human being is a god's great gift and you need to live through it. Small issues do happen in the form of ups and downs, but you need to strive through it.

Chill out, think about the good deeds you did before coming to office or in office and you shall have good time

SRShrikanth · 27th August 2008, 16:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by girlieonwheels

I mean, did I really deserve this.
.

The answer is clearly NO. You did not deserve this from that bloke.

You were in a mess and did not do anything to his car that could not be mended with a mere wash. A good wash is all it takes to clean up.

You tried your best to help out, his ego was too fragile to accept it.

Take a chill-pill and relax. It's life, it happens.

Do make sure you dont drive into the slush tomm though.!!!

whatcanthisbe · 27th August 2008, 16:30

you did the good thing being a decent humanbeing but need to understand this is not the place for decent human beings and stop nlaming yourself, **** happens let it go if you start burdening yourself with all this you will need a shrink really really soon .. no ones mistake here

hydrashok · 27th August 2008, 16:31

No mistake of yours!

You had the right attitude about what happened -- you were sorry it happened and wanted to make up for it. I think that's what counts.

The guy's frustration is understandable. Just forgive him for talking that way. He's probably a normal/regular guy who had a bad day too.

What happened was no fault of yours -- it just happened. Do stop feeling bad about it, and blaming yourself for it.

ASHISHPALLOD · 27th August 2008, 16:32

Quote:

men see things from a different view point – a view point that’s more world-ly rational. For most women the perception is a mixed balance of emotion and practicality.

this was your quote in your recent travelogue.
so, emotion overtake practicality.
when we are on road, these things happens, we become serious for the moment, time passes, and every thing become normal.
so, don't worry, take it lightly.

sammyboy · 27th August 2008, 16:33

Come on, its just mud. Whats the big deal about getting too upset here.
Its not your fault, maybe he was having a bad day and you happened to there.
Chill, its not your fault after all you didnt do it on purpose. This could have happened on the road too right?

lambuhere1 · 27th August 2008, 16:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by bblost

An apology note left on that car would have helped cool matters.

How many of us would have behaved any better if we found our car or bike spoiled for no fault of ours?

A mere apology will cool things for that matter in many places. Acceptance of the fault is more than enough to resolve many issues.

Let me narrate an incident in Bangalore airport road with notorious autos.

I am comfortably driving on airport road near domlur, going to airport in right lane. As the traffic was heavy I was slowly moving on. Suddenly I hear a thud on my car. See that our auto fellow rammed his auto onto the side of my silky silver. Being aware of the nature of auto guys, I was well prepared. Surprisingly, when both our vehicles stopped, our auto guys comes a apologies to me saying "sir, thats my fault, I accept it sir, No money sir and all the crap". Seeing his apology, all my anger/frustation vanished. We had a good argument about who will foot the bill, but in the end, I could make it out he doesnt have any penny with him. Asked him to drive carefully, informed the traffic policeman, who came to us and then went back to MASS. Hole in the pocket 2500 INR. Felt bad for my beauty for a couple of days. Had to talk to her a couple of days and now she runs like a beauty.

Move on

snaronikar · 27th August 2008, 16:37

Few points:

Firstly, everybody wants to manage their cars neat and clean. Remember how much time he would have spent to wash his car.

Secondly, yes, it disturbs us quite a lot when you get into these kind of issues but we need to move on.

We need to be little careful where we drive the vehicle.

PAVAN KADAM · 27th August 2008, 16:40

A mistake is a mistake is a MISTAKE.

No one is perfect. Its a part of life, live on, its just one passing and learning moment in life.

Probably that guy who's car got mud would be writing something like what you have written on some other forum.

You have offered the solution to the problem, which he did'nt take it, so its his MISTAKE.

Scores Level, chill out.

27th August 2008, 16:01	#1
girlieonwheels BHPian Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: OH-USA-NSW-AU Posts: 59 Thanked: 7 Times	Trying to understand my own mistake! Hey Guys, I am going to narrate an incidence to you. This happened this morning. I need your feedback. I want to understand my own mistake here. I am not able to figure out if I was really at fault in this incidence. Ok, I reached office and the office parking was full. So I parked my car behind my office, this is an area where many people from our office park their cars. Its slushy area and some hawkers also stand there. This area is not actually our legal office parking but its safe for parking your car here. The guard does not watch over your car here, but you won’t usually have any problem. Some days back I guess the municipality people had dug up some parts in this area and left the ditch open (...for unfortunate people like me). So this morning while parking my car I happened to go too close to one of this camouflaged ditch which I though was just slush. Result was as you thought; the front 2 wheels of my car got stuck there. I tried a lot of times, but the wheels kept moving inside the ditch as they were not able to get a grip. In my constant struggle to take my car out, one of the wheels which was deep inside the ditch spilled a lot of mud on the car that was parked next to mine. This was a blue zen. I completely agree and understand that I have no right to dirty someone else’s car, but I had absolutely no option. Anyway, taking out my car from that situation was a real chaos which really tired me emotionally. Finally the car was out (that’s another long story). I came to office and started my work. After lunch while I was busy a guy walked up to me and said in a intimidating tone “is xxxx your car’s number?”. I was like, “yes”. He said “saath vale car mere thie”, I had no idea what he was talking about. Then in a flash I realized that he is talking about the car that got dirty. I said “I am sorry, but my car had got stuck and I didn’t knew it was your car, I am sorry it got dirty”. He gave me an angry look and I don’t know what he mumbled inside his mouth (I guess he was swearing at me). I said “see I can get it washed if you want”, but he walked away looking at me as if I have murdered someone. Trust me it was really disturbing. It was just mud, I swear and that too just on the front side towards the wheel. And while all that happened, I had no idea that this zen belonged to someone in my office. If I had known, I think I would have written a mail saying sorry. But I didn’t know that, besides I was really upset because the way my car got out of this ditch finally was upsetting. I could smell the clutch plates being fried. I cursed myself for being so stupid (I still am). And on top of that more upsetting was the behavior of this guy. Was it my mistake? I mean, I need to know that was it really wrong on my part that I didn’t tried to find out about this car’s owner. Am I selfish that I bothered about my car only and didn’t bother about saying sorry to this person? I mean, did I really deserve this. Actually, I hate myself for everything. I hate myself for driving into this ditch like a blind person.
	() Thanks

27th August 2008, 16:16	#2
tsk1979 Team-BHP Support Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: San Jose, CA Posts: 23,717 Thanked: 22,823 Times View My Garage	Its not your mistake. If you car gets stuck you have to get it out, right? This guy should go to MCD authority and complain about the slush. If there is mud it will get splashed. He can also go visit the gods to protest against the rain since light rain leaves a lot of dust spots on car. And no need to feel sorry or hate yourself I work in Noida and I have also parked in a ditch twice, damaging the Tie rod of the car once. With the kind of roadside digging and all going on, you cannot avoid this!
	() Thanks

27th August 2008, 16:22	#4
mjothi Senior - BHPian Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Bangalore Posts: 3,287 Thanked: 231 Times View My Garage	Me think the same. Its not mistake from your side. Infact you have offered him a wash at your cost. So, no way its a mistake or deliberate action. I can understand the frustration the other guy will have, but he should have moved in a better manner. One the lighter side, it shows how much he cares for his own love. Good.
	() Thanks

27th August 2008, 16:23	#5
bblost Team-BHP Support Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Hyderabad Posts: 11,000 Thanked: 15,305 Times View My Garage	An apology note left on that car would have helped cool matters. Now that whats done is done. Introduce that guy to team-bhp. He will be too busy reading the posts to remain angry with you. Plus a simple gift for his car like ambi pure with a sorry card would be nice. How many of us would have behaved any better if we found our car or bike spoiled for no fault of ours?
	() Thanks

27th August 2008, 16:24	#6
amitoj Senior - BHPian Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Windham, NH USA Posts: 3,348 Thanked: 3,064 Times View My Garage	LOL. You are not mean enough to drive here. But jokes apart, I'm sure that guy must be feeling sorry for his behaviour, specially after you offered to get his car washed. Most people treat machines better than humans. You should be glad you arent one of them. Last edited by amitoj : 27th August 2008 at 16:29.
	() Thanks

27th August 2008, 16:30	#9
whatcanthisbe BHPian Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: http://www.wandering-online.com Posts: 499 Thanked: 6 Times	you did the good thing being a decent humanbeing but need to understand this is not the place for decent human beings and stop nlaming yourself, **** happens let it go if you start burdening yourself with all this you will need a shrink really really soon .. no ones mistake here
	() Thanks

27th August 2008, 16:31	#10
hydrashok Senior - BHPian Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: In my Office Posts: 2,528 Thanked: 17 Times View My Garage	No mistake of yours! You had the right attitude about what happened -- you were sorry it happened and wanted to make up for it. I think that's what counts. The guy's frustration is understandable. Just forgive him for talking that way. He's probably a normal/regular guy who had a bad day too. What happened was no fault of yours -- it just happened. Do stop feeling bad about it, and blaming yourself for it.
	() Thanks

27th August 2008, 16:33	#12
sammyboy Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Ggn/Dehradun Posts: 1,842 Thanked: 521 Times View My Garage	Come on, its just mud. Whats the big deal about getting too upset here. Its not your fault, maybe he was having a bad day and you happened to there. Chill, its not your fault after all you didnt do it on purpose. This could have happened on the road too right?
	() Thanks

27th August 2008, 16:37	#14
snaronikar Senior - BHPian Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Bengaluru Posts: 2,845 Thanked: 29 Times View My Garage	Few points: Firstly, everybody wants to manage their cars neat and clean. Remember how much time he would have spent to wash his car. Secondly, yes, it disturbs us quite a lot when you get into these kind of issues but we need to move on. We need to be little careful where we drive the vehicle.
	() Thanks

27th August 2008, 16:40	#15
PAVAN KADAM BANNED Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: NAMMA BENGALURU Posts: 5,602 Thanked: 2,549 Times	A mistake is a mistake is a MISTAKE. No one is perfect. Its a part of life, live on, its just one passing and learning moment in life. Probably that guy who's car got mud would be writing something like what you have written on some other forum. You have offered the solution to the problem, which he did'nt take it, so its his MISTAKE. Scores Level, chill out.
	() Thanks