[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by itwasntme

iliketurtles: great post - looks like you enjoyed big time! Poor Robert Frost must be turning over in his grave, as I also used his work of art in a post yesterday.

Yes, I did have a blast. Goa is pretty much guaranteed good fun. Sun, sand, great food, generally a good drive too.

Just opened up your post and noticed you quoted Frosty bhai too I'm got a cuppa coffee on the boil, will settle down to read things peacefully.

Originally Posted by itwasntme

Firstly, did your new bumpers get through unscathed? I'm desperate to drive to Goa myself.

Miraculously, yes. I had a look at the underbody and the protective cladding has held up admirably. The exhaust had a few scrapes on it, but nothing major. And the bumper had some scrapes on the bottom of it, but nothing on the front. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess. I can live with that. It's the potholes that get you good. I'd say go in the 330i to Goa. You can easily do it since your car isn't lowered, unlike some idiots I know.

Originally Posted by itwasntme

Secondly, really really admire your guts. I'd be executed by anti-aircraft fire if I commented like this. I clearly recollect my admiration for your words when the She Hulk ripped off the AC vent in your Jetta
https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/long-...ml#post4458186 (Back in Black! A VW Jetta Highline DSG comes home EDIT: Sold!)

Lol, it's just friendly fire, she's used to my sense (?) of humour by now, even if she finds it distinctly un-funny by now. Too late for her, I guess.

Originally Posted by TheGearBox

I'm cringing at the thought of your lowered 3 driving on our Goan roads.

Man, I really thought how bad could it be? In some patches, very. I find the roadworks in progress to be hilarious. 400-500 meters is smooth, and the next 400-500 meters a diversion with work in progress.God knows who's bright idea it was to do this patchwork in progress. The fact I had to drive slow over it got to me more than anything, with bikes and SUVs zipping by

Originally Posted by TheGearBox

Anyway, hope your trip was fun.

Goa is always great yaar, and the trip was fun as always. A scanty number of people on the beaches is a-ok by me, I can be staunchly anti-social when I want to.

Originally Posted by TheGearBox

If I had known you were coming down, we could've met up. But Covid is not really gone yet, so probably not....Would've loved to see your car in person, though.

I pop in to Goa 2-3 times a year, so I'll hit you up next time I'm around, we'll figure something out, that's assuming I take the car along at all! Felt bad for her this time around, it wasn't nearly as bad when the car was on the stock springs.

Originally Posted by TheGearBox

BTW any plans of upgrading to an SUV now?

Yeah, I'm seriously considering it. There's no way I can see myself traveling by planes or trains anywhere in the next year or even two. And these road trips aren't going anywhere. I have to give it serious thoughts, but honestly, I can count the ones I like on one hand, and they're all pricey. On the bright side, wifey has given me the green signal, so, yay?

Originally Posted by Turbanator

You are a brave guy isn't your partner subscribed to this thread

hahaha, she's not the kind to read the stuff I churn out, and she knows I love sniping at her. It's all part of my charm.

Originally Posted by Turbanator

Sedans are nice to drive, they have their own challenges though especially in our conditions. Stick with BMW. If you are on budget, find out a 6 cylinder X3 but if you have funds, go for the X5.

You can say that again! i love, love, love Sedans, but enjoying one in India just isn't possible outside of some cities and routes. Such a shame.

My heart says BMW, with the X3 and X5 both stellar options, especially with that 6 cylinder heart. I like the Endy as well, but the blue propeller is something else, isn't she? Let's see what Father Time has in store for me.

[androdev]

Great read as always, was it a travelogue?

Originally Posted by iliketurtles

Am I missing anything?

Yes. Sell high, buy low. Go short.

[Sreesh1009]

Once again, a witty and quick post. I love reading this thread but your Goa trip had me cringing big time. Let me explain before you go back to the post and start reading it again. The fact that you took a car whose tyres and wheel wells fail to understand social distancing on Gian roads. Every line had me biting my nails and laughing with worry.

Please get an X3 or an X5, or the Gloster (won't that be a downgrade from a Bimmer¿).
Please keep this thread alive (as well as the 3er).
Ciao,
S.

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by androdev

Great read as always, was it a travelogue?

Thank you hombre! Was it a travelogue? I don't think so. My friends would call this an essay (or maybe they were calling me 'ese', I really don't know), but this is my version of a "short version"; using 800 words where 80 would have sufficed. I shudder to think how large a travelogue would be if I wrote one!

Originally Posted by androdev

Yes. Sell high, buy low. Go short.

Go high, sell low, buy shorts. Got it.

Originally Posted by Sreesh1009

Once again, a witty and quick post. I love reading this thread but your Goa trip had me cringing big time. Let me explain before you go back to the post and start reading it again. The fact that you took a car whose tyres and wheel wells fail to understand social distancing on Gian roads. Every line had me biting my nails and laughing with worry.

Thanks Sreesh. I'll be honest here; if the car weren't lowered, it would have been fine, even on 18 inch low profile tyres. I've done this circuit before, it wasn't an issue. I guess you live and you learn!

Originally Posted by Sreesh1009

Please get an X3 or an X5, or the Gloster (won't that be a downgrade from a Bimmer)

I just saw the Gloster's prices, and I think it's a bit insane. I for one wouldn't buy it, but then I don't think I'm their target demographic. Anyone looking for a reasonably fun to drive tourer/SUV would certainly not be looking at the Gloster. And yes, I do think the Gloster would definitely be a downgrade. I'm not one for badge/snob value, but I don't care for toys. Give me a fundamentally great powertrain and chassis over features and gizmos any day of the week.

I spent all evening yesterday cooking khayali pulao, and bouncing between thoughts of the X3, X5, Kodiaq, and 530d. All of them will cost mucho moolah, so I guess I'm gonna have to start saving up for that rainy day!

Originally Posted by Sreesh1009

Please keep this thread alive (as well as the 3er).

That I will, don't you worry. There's a dearth of fun cars out there, and I feel I have an obligation to keep rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin' (as the great poet philosopher Limp Bizkit once said).

Laters!

[ghostrider]

Since I'm inherently lazy, coupled with the fact that work is absolutely crazy, I've decided to hijack @iliketurtles thread to post some long overdue pics of my own 328i.
He won't mind because (a) he's a good egg, and (b) we've sort of collaborated on our respective 328s. I managed to talk him out of doing a Quantum remap in favour of Bootmod3, for example, and we discuss everything from trim upgrades, routine and unexpected maintenance and (wholly unnecessary) upgrades.
In fact, on the same weekend where he had his eventful drive to Goa I'd taken Ujjala (my white 328i) to Lavasa and we compared drive notes. Mine was, in contrast, an extremely uneventful drive. I hit unmentionable speeds on the expressway and hit some god-awful patches post Hinjewadi but Ujjala handled them all like a champ.
PS: I'm kidding. Please don't call my 328i 'Ujjala'. I don't know why I said that.

TL;DR: Too lazy to do my own thread, so I'm hijacking this one.


Is she stock?
Stock-ish. Here's a list of mods.

• Bootmod3 Stage-1, 91 ON remap.
  Gawd, this remap was money well spent. Having a cloud-based tuning platform where you can select from a bunch of maps for your car and even do it through an app? Hell yes. The stock 250-ish hp gets bumped up to close to 300hp at the crank, and my good grief, can you feel the difference even in everyday driving conditions. The tune, along with the custom downpipe (see below) leads me to believe that I'm probably putting out about 310bhp at the crank, but I haven't dyno'd her so that's just a guess.
  
• Custom catless downpipe.
  I de-catted the car prior to the bootmod3 tune.
  PROS: Cold starts sound amazing. There's this deep, throaty, raspy rumble that lasts for a few seconds and then quietens down, and you can only hear it again when you're in Sport or when you mash the throttle in comfort.
  I like my exhausts like I like other people's kids - you should only be able to hear them when you want to. The rest of the time, kindly be silent. In fact, go sit in that corner - I'll call you when I need to be amused.
  CONS: There's a little bit of that unburnt fuel smell that happens when you de-cat your car.
  You can only smell it outside the car, and it isn't extremely offensive either, but chances are I'd fail a PUC test.
  
• M3-style dual-slat gloss black grille. .
  Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to turn her into an M-car doppleganger, it's just that me no-likey chrome. At all.
  This was literally the first change I made to the car.
  
• M3 style mirrors (non carbon).
  Possibly the cheapest mod on this car, but I absolutely love how these look, especially on a white car.
  
• LCI radio trim surround.
  Like the M-style mirror housings, this was a purely aesthetic mod that I installed myself. The ambient lighting on F-series BMWs is best described as anemic, and I like how this thing freshens up the interior a bit.
  
• M-style pedals
  Again, purely aesthetic, but I sort of prefer the feel of these as compared to the stock pedals. Plus, they look nice.
  
• Coding.
  There's a bunch of things I've coded - I've disabled the auto start/stop, coded in advanced bluetooth, made changes to the one-touch turn signals, how the mirrors fold when I lock and unlock the car, and a few other things. All done with Bimmercode.

Anything else planned?
Yep. Minor stuff - I'd like to get the roof and rear bumper exhaust surround wrapped in matte black, but not sure where to get it done. I live in South Mumbai, so any recommendations would be much appreciated.
I'm also considering the M-sport steering wheel upgrade and the digital 6WB cluster (which is a complete and utter waste of money for all the functional value it provides, which is nil).


Enough talk. Here's some pics.

[Sreesh1009]

Hey Karan,
Quick question amigo, why haven't you considered getting an XC40 (I remember you mentioning you had the hots for the S60) or some other Volvo SUV? The cars they make are one of a kind.

Don't sell the Bimmer (huge bummer) ever

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by Sreesh1009

Quick question amigo, why haven't you considered getting an XC40 (I remember you mentioning you had the hots for the S60) or some other Volvo SUV? The cars they make are one of a kind.

It's funny you mention this Sreesh, I passed by a latest gen XC60 just a few days back, and it was hot. IMO purely from an aesthetics perspective, I'd pick it over the X3, GLE or Q3 (only because Audi has to be thrown into the conversation, as per tradition).

But then, when you consider the joy of driving, Volvo loses out big time. Maybe when I'm older, saner, softer. But not now. Not yet. I'll fan the dying embers of my youth for as long as I can humanly huff and puff.

The XC40 itself is too small for my needs. I like having well-rounded cars that can do many things well (please don't follow up by asking why I lowered the 3), and I ponder the small matter of adding an SUV that I'd like to the garage. The only cars that really appeal to me are the X3 in 30d guise (a rare find in the aftermarket), the Jeep Compass (limited boot space, gah), and the Endeavor 3.2 (which is pretty much perfect in every way).

A small voice in my head says I can make a 530d a GT car too, almost perfect for touring the length and breadth of India. But then, when I close my eyes I can almost hear the banshee like wails of the wifey if she were to hear that I bought another German sedan against her say-so. Guess that's one way to spice up your married life.

Originally Posted by Sreesh1009

Don't sell the Bimmer (huge bummer) ever

Not for a few years at least, bare minimum. It'd be very hard to replace, in any case. Prices on the right kind of pre-owned cars have gone a bit cray-cray. Guess I'll have to order a few more piggy banks off Amazon to bridge that gap. Wish me luck.

[Sreesh1009]

Originally Posted by iliketurtles

Not for a few years at least, bare minimum. It'd be very hard to replace, in any case. Prices on the right kind of pre-owned cars have gone a bit cray-cray. Guess I'll have to order a few more piggy banks off Amazon to bridge that gap. Wish me luck.

Man, you have me cracking up at every single one of posts/responses
Thanks for giving me the idea of using a 5 Series as a tourer, will consider it in the near future (hopefully a fintech billionaire by then).

You're spot on about Volvos losing out on the "Fun-to-drive" factor but won't a Polestar upgrade help it's case?

Here's praying that the next thread Karan starts is titled "Prayers and Wishes do come true - My BMW X5" (I believe in wishing for the best )

All the Best!
Sreesh

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by Sreesh1009

Thanks for giving me the idea of using a 5 Series as a tourer, will consider it in the near future (hopefully a fintech billionaire by then).

Given there are guys using the X1 as a garbage hauler, the idea of a 5 series as a people hauler isn't that big a stretch! Dream it. Do it. Unless it's murder. Then don't do it.

Originally Posted by Sreesh1009

You're spot on about Volvos losing out on the "Fun-to-drive" factor but won't a Polestar upgrade help it's case?

It most likely would, but then given crazy CBU prices, it'll likely be costlier than the pre-owned //M cars and the likes. And I'd have to be a special kind of stupid to pass over that for a Polestar badged Volvo, not even the full-fat ooh-la-la-la Polestar.

Originally Posted by Sreesh1009

Here's praying that the next thread Karan starts is titled "Prayers and Wishes do come true - My BMW X5" (I believe in wishing for the best )

Shubh shubh bol. If we're wishing, I wish Santa fills the car shaped hole in my heart with an M2 Comp, not an SUV. Or maybe I've been a naughty boy this year, so Santa sent me an SUV as a punishment? Some things we'll never know.

[lamborghini]

Originally Posted by iliketurtles

Given there are guys using the X1 as a garbage hauler, the idea of a 5 series as a people hauler isn't that big a stretch! Dream it. Do it. Unless it's murder. Then don't do it.

And I'd have to be a special kind of stupid to pass over that for a Polestar badged Volvo, not even the full-fat ooh-la-la-la Polestar.

If it's any help, a friends F10 530D has racked up over 1.5L kms including several trips to Goa and other places I shudder to even think of taking the lowered 3 too (which also explains why it's done only).

And also, if its of any help - I remember recently hearing of a tuned X5 doing similarly silly timings as the tuned 328i.

Ok, maybe neither of the above statements helped you come out of this confusion.
But this may help : apart from the few units of the S60 Polestar, the others are pretty much just a map from what I remember.

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by lamborghini

If it's any help, a friends F10 530D has racked up over 1.5L kms including several trips to Goa and other places I shudder to even think of taking the lowered 3 too (which also explains why it's done only).

You. I like you, Lambo. That's just the kind of reinforcement a guy like me needs before I pull the hypothetical trigger. I'm fairly confident a 5 could take the kind of long distances I dream of subjecting it to.

There is one other consideration though; if some issue pops up, or a part needs replacement, the chances of getting help are remote. That's just the way it is with these complicated beasts of burden. I struggled bigly for simple brake pads for the 3'er in Goa. I could only think how much worse it could get if something slightly rarer gives up the ghost.

Originally Posted by lamborghini

And also, if its of any help - I remember recently hearing of a tuned X5 doing similarly silly timings as the tuned 328i.

Man, the X5 looks a million bucks in M-sport avatar, no question about that. But it'll just be too large, too complex, and too expensive to truly treat with gay abandon and take anywhere and everywhere. But hey, if you told me I'd be running a lowered hotrod red 328i 2 years ago, I'd recommend a good shrink. Never say never. Please don't screenshot these comments and say "I told you so!" later.

Originally Posted by lamborghini

his may help : apart from the few units of the S60 Polestar, the others are pretty much just a map from what I remember.

Correctamundo, I vaguely remember this being the case too. Volvo's just don't set my heart aflutter from behind the wheel. The T6 shod S60 was something else, but modern Volvo's are a very different creature. No spicy meatballs on offer, which is why they're side dishes to the German main course. The Polestar 2 will be a very different (electric) kettle of fish though.

[Sreesh1009]

If you're worried that history might repeat itself if you get another German. Then why don't you consider getting an Endeavor or Fortuner or an MUX. And for additional power get a Pete's or Wolf Moti remap. All the three cars have a "go-anywhere" ability and the three of them are extremely reliable. The 3er can be used as a daily driver (I bet the suspension is cursing me from 800kms away ) or for your expensively cheap thrills

I mean the SUVs I've mentioned might seem like downgrades coming from your X3 dreams but they seem more VFM than a German.

I think we're digressing from the main topic of this thread "The 328i"

P.S Still praying you get what you want or something even better

[moralfibre]

Originally Posted by iliketurtles

On one fine day when I could take being cooped up no more, the friends and I cooked up a plan to drive down to Goa at short notice. Because what antidote could there be for a brave, crazy new world than doing the same old things we used to know and love? Old wine in a new bottle and all that. Not made in China, mind you.

This might be a coincidence but bhpian etchemkay and I were enroute to Goa on the long weekend of 02Oct'20 as well. I fairly remember being parked at the turn off from NH4 towards Amboli and seeing your BMW and possibly an Audi following it early morning. Later you were parked at Minerva as we zoomed past on our bikes.

Last time I remember bumping into you on the road was in Pune when you were enroute Lavasa in your Jetta

[iliketurtles]

Originally Posted by Sreesh1009

Why don't you consider getting an Endeavor or Fortuner or an MUX. And for additional power get a Pete's or Wolf Moti remap. All the three cars have a "go-anywhere" ability and the three of them are extremely reliable. The 3er can be used as a daily driver (I bet the suspension is cursing me from 800kms away ) or for your expensively cheap thrills

The Endeavor is definitely the only one that really appeals to me out of that lot, but I'm just not an SUV, that's the main problem. The wifey coerces, cajoles, coaxes me, but I just can't get my heart to fully warm up to the idea.

The 3'er is actually a great daily driver in Bombay. Sure, it scrapes the belly every now and then on gargantuan potholes, but there can't be love without suffering, eh?

Originally Posted by Sreesh1009

I mean the SUVs I've mentioned might seem like downgrades coming from your X3 dreams but they seem more VFM than a German.

P.S Still praying you get what you want or something even better

I don't dream of X3's at all! Please stop ruining my street cred. Heck, i like the Thar too, but it just won't do the kind of long trips I like unless we're traveling as 2, and its high speed manners (not that I'm tracking it) is another cause for concern.

Pipe dreams, all. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Originally Posted by moralfibre

This might be a coincidence but bhpian etchemkay and I were enroute to Goa on the long weekend of 02Oct'20 as well. I fairly remember being parked at the turn off from NH4 towards Amboli and seeing your BMW and possibly an Audi following it early morning. Later you were parked at Minerva as we zoomed past on our bikes.

Last time I remember bumping into you on the road was in Pune when you were enroute Lavasa in our Jetta

yes, I remember that happy coincidence of being spotted in the Jetta just before turning off to Lavasa many moons ago!

Yes, that was us you spotted. A flame-red BMW and Audi plodding along to Bombay on questionable roads. Now that I know you own the BMW R1200GS, I think I vaguely remember you as well, and you'll passing us by as we pressed pause. I didn't even know that hotel was called Minerva, but I do now!

You know what they say, third time's the charm

[iliketurtles]

Time. Not even the biggest of Big Brake Kits can stop it. It flies. Not as muy rapido as*insert name of your favorite lightning bolt on wheels here*, but fly it does. 2 years have lapsed since I took delivery of Red, and much has changed since then. But let me hark back to the spirit of ye olde times, because goldfish still swim among us.

Is still red?: Like a baboon’s bottom
Is fun?: You know it
Kitni chali hai?: Approx. 39,500 KMS
Sacchi?: Arre haan re baba
Kitna deti hai?: Tu phir aa gaya! Bhaag yaha se

2 years is a long time in anyone’s books, and it has given me time to appreciate the good and the bad side of the F30 328i. The good news is that the positives outweigh the negatives, so let’s get the latter out of the way first

Nah ji Nah

• There are very few good sounding 4 cylinder engines out there. The N20 isn’t one of them. It sounds like its gargling gravel in comfort mode
• Pre-LCI cars go bouncy bouncy bounce
• Age. It’s real. Ask the car or me, we’re both showing it
• Low profile tyres mean only high-profile road trips, nothing on the down-low

Wah ji wah

• It’s F-A-S-T. My 2nd favorite 4 letter F word. F-R-E-E takes pole position
• Almost unbeatable drivetrain combo. BMDabloo, I love yoo
• Practical and reliable. It’s never had a major failure *touch wood!* or let me down. God, I hope I haven’t jinxed myself.
• Plenty of toys make me go HUD Dabangg Dabangg Dabangg Dabangg
• Mods. I love them. So many of them to choose from too for the car
• Svelte, sexy, stylish. Despite some flies in the ointment, the F30 sure looks pretty when she’s dolled up. Still makes my skip a beat every time I see her
• Every drive feels like an occasion. Now, I just need to get the right soundtrack for it

I thought of padding this out further, but it really has been a largely trouble-free ownership experience. Not like I'm aiming for a word count here. Or am I?

In any case, what can I say about the car that I haven’t already? I love this baby, she’s about 8 years and 39,200 kms old, but doesn’t feel like it, save for a rattle or two I need to fix, and I really haven’t thought of selling her yet. God promise. No major niggles or flies in the ointment, thank you for asking.

Where do I go from here anyways? The G30 530d is mucho pricey (for now), and I have my doubts about using an ///M car as a daily runabout. But that’s a different discussion for a different day, since the wifey is firmly on the SU-Whee train. Perhaps I’ll win her over in time, as I did many moons ago.

In the meantime, clamber in and join me as I take a ride down memory lane.


As yet untouched, riding high. Here she is on her first day home, ready to roll...


...Leading to untold adventures, and double trouble, with old friends and new...


...And often times, the road untraveled...


...led to spectacular views...


...any which way you dice it...


...Some days, rickshaws chased me…


…other times, I did the chasing...


...on roads paved...


...or unmarked...


...looking back though…


…the only way to look at things is future forward, full steam ahead. Within legal speed limits, of course.

Motormouth musings

Much has changed in the 2 years that have elapsed since I brought Red home, including the full onset of a pandemic of SUVs and compact SUVs that threaten to overwhelm entire ecosystems as we know it. Every time I see one of these tiny ‘SUVs’, I can imagine them chanelling the spirit of Descartes and thinking to themselves, “I think, therefore I am!” before going off on their merry way. But my inner voice screams ceaselessly, ‘why’; why aren’t you a sedan, or a proper SUV? Why does this madden me so?

Everyone’s getting on that gravy train. Something fish-e is going on with the Mustang, which has raised a stink at the Mach-e market, leaving me positively catatonic. Barely had I recovered, than along came Aston Martin’s DBX SUX (a beautiful thing, I grant you that), and I was left balled up, bawling like a babe in a corner at the rise of SUVs. It seems every motoring Mandarin is taking the high ground; Tesla (surely the Cybertruck is a troll job), Lamborghini, even Ferrari is grabbing a ticket to the party.

Clearly then, the writing is on the wall, and it grows ever harder to make a case for the good ol’ sedan. But I still firmly believe life is best experienced and infinitely more exciting when flying low, hurtling around corners, G forces pulling at the G strings of your heart.

Here then, is a proverbial toast raised to adventures known and unknown, wherever the road might flow. Maybe I'll spot you along the way, who knows? Weirder things have happened, after all. 2020 is ample proof of that.

Originally Posted by itwasntme

Your updates are eagerly awaited by mundane posters like myself . Being one of the dwindling fast sedan tribe, I feel like the last of the species turtle contemplating a lonely life!

Thank you saar. Rage, rage, against the dying of the light. Viva la résistance!

Originally Posted by itwasntme

However, as you prepare for the ritual slitting of the wrists, do check if BMW India will bring in the M340i - 3.0 inline 6 cylinder, AWD and a massive 382 bhp/ 500 Nm and something you can tune to 500+ bhp.

Unslits wrists

The 340i is a tasty, tasty proposition for sure, and I'm fairly certain they'll bring it in. There's too much smoke around this.

Originally Posted by itwasntme

I guarantee your society will sanction you when you cold start on wintry mornings.

Sirjee, all the retirees and late-risers in my society already know my name, and rumour has it they've got a chit fund going to pay a hitman and have me clinically removed from the scenery. Such are the dangers of cheap thrills.