Quote:
Originally Posted by Red Liner Yes...and you must be wondering what is in store?
1. Taking delivery - how we did the PDI
2. The Outside and the Inside: All muscle or all brains?
3. Overall driving experience: Moving up from a Hatch/Sedan
4. Initial experiences: In the city and on the highway - is she a bull (nay, Bizon) in a china-shop?
5. Bonus! Perspectives from the passenger containment - different people, ages, and even genders!
If anybody wants anything more, please do let me know, and you can consider it done! |
By Popular demand!
The Outside and the Inside: All muscle or all brains?
So what is it like to upgrade from a puny hatch/sedan to a monster (though the word monster can have many connotations as a potential Alpine blue Getz CRDI owner chose to describe his blue little thing - here monster is being used solely to describe the gargantuan size of the Scorpio compared to a hatch/sedan).
Well, you do move up. Quite literally. You climb into this thing. Like you do into an Army truck. I used to slink into my Palio. Here you clamber onto the Scorpio. However, clambering onto something is not everyone's idea of getting into a car. For some, its almost akin to hitting the gym, and clambering into the Scorpio might turn out to get rid of more calories. My mom certainly did not appreciate this - and she is of the *plonk into the lazy boy in front of home and eat lots of chocolate ice cream variety*. For sure my Granny is going to write me out of any will from now unto 4 generations down the line once she sees the step-ladder (or the lack of a few more steps).
Which kind of looks gaudy. I did so much love the Adventure foot rails. Just that little bit of finesse. Make a product to go 90% and then why scrimp on the last 10%? I am only talking about the product - not the service that comes later.
The view is tremendous from the driver seat. Its akin to driving from the perch of your balcony. You can see almost everything. You can look down into people's cars. Very rewarding especially if its a hot girl driving a puny something next to you. The bonnet looks tight from your gay little perch inside the car. It really helps in gauging distance, nooks, and corners a lot better. I like the tight fit.
The seating position is more upright - as opposed to most other cars which are kind of slouched in. Sitting in the Scorpio is much like sitting in a plastic chair outside the headmaster's room. Its an L. No, I am not talking about comfort - but the structure. A hatch - typically the Palio - on the other hand is more outstretched - giving you a sense of space. However, that means you are lower into your car, and thus judging corners, nooks, and everything hidden becomes that much more difficult. M&M has really captured the age-old jeep seat system nicely. I drove a Willy's in and around Bangalore for 2 years as a daily driver before upgrading to the Scorpio. And I nestled in almost immediately.
I am relatively of average height as compared to other Indian males. Scandinavian women however, towered over me, and my head quite literally lay under their ample bosoms. However, I believe I am of more than average fitness - having surveyed every restaurant in Bangalore that offers Diet coke - and thus my lack of a paunch did not seem to be a deal breaker when I bought the Scorpio. For many others, their relative lack of fitness (or as they would like to call it - their abundance of physical body-wealth) seemed to wean them towards the more *made for the Indian
Masses* Safari.
Apparently, in the Scorpio, the paunch interferes with the Steering wheel - since it is pressed thus close to the body. Abnormally bigger built Indian men feel their egos crushed when asked to get into a monster that cannot accommodate them. M&M introduced tilt steering. Indian pubs introduced buy 1 beer get 3 free. M&M could not keep pace with the increasing girth of our population.
I am at the signal to cut into Brigade road now. A frail man hobbles up to me and asks me for some spare change. I hate spoiling people with money - I am more of the give love type. However, I did not feel like getting out of the car - sorry, climbing down from the car - and hugging him. I reached out to get some change from the many cubicles of space on my left between the gear box and the middle row AC vent. Very nicely done. As I reached on my right to pull the window down - where are the switches?!
I frantically search the door pad and the door for the switch. To no avail! The signal has turned green and the old man has seen my change - his prize money for the fantastically put together choreography of a hobble he managed to pull off as he approached me. Honks behind nothwithstanding I finally found the switch just above the mid row AC vent and and handed out the change. Phew! He had a damn wooden stick - which might have grazed my Bison if I had not been quicker. Damn stingy M&M for not providing more switches for the front passengers right next to them.
As I rest my hand over the outstretched gear lever protruding towards me to shift into 1, my girl friend who was accompanying me made a vague comment.
She: The gear lever looks very manly.
Me: Yeah! (puffed up chest, fake ray-bans et all)
She: It looks like Shiva's linga (for being unable to write the actual product name which women use to replace men).
Me: Eh?
She: See it even vibrates!
Me: Shrink my hand back in horror as I retract into a cold dark shell.
My comfort zone was no longer comforting me. Having my hand over a linga look-alike, feel-alike, shake-alike was a little unnerving. Very spurious thoughts flooded my mind each time I slid my hand over the throbbing male member of the Scorpio. However, in time - I came to align with it as my own. And thus, now - I dont have any qualms in flaunting my HUGE, magnanimous throbbing gear lever to all and sundry.
I cowered over the steering wheel, lest she taunted that with her meaningless drivel - which was actually quite hurtful. I like the Scorp's steering wheel. It was big, chunky, and smooth. Very easy to hold and felt quite buttery to slip and slide indeed. The horn was placed nice and wide, and could be accessed no matter where your hand on the wheel is. Perfect to taunt that elderly couple who take forever to cross the road. Mwaaaahahaha!
No, I am not like that. I waited very patiently without honking for them to amble across and even received a small tribute from them before clunking along.
Part 2 of this section to be continued...