[eclectix 1st]

Originally Posted by Samurai

Just wondering, I was under the impression that normal scorpion poison was not strong enough to kill an adult. Is the Rajastan scorpion is of a different kind?

They come in different packages. Some of them quite deadly,
AFAIK the Indian desert variety is poisonous but not quite as their African/Australian counterparts, where most people end up stiff after bitten by scorpions, unless treated immediately.
cheers:

[pankaj_sachdeva]

Sam, yor truly are have an amazing memory & great writing skills. Recollecting things happened so long & then writing them in a way that readers are glued to them is simply fantastic. Meanwhile while reading through I have actually drawn a picture of a jeep in middle of sand with Dom hanging on holding the makeshift accelerator cable, faye holding onto him & haji driving with of course you at back singing

[vkochar]

Originally Posted by normally_crazy

Now that you said that - it suddenly hit me !!

Like in the saas-bahu serials, every movement happens 3 times - even Sam was bitten 3 times !!

Amazing !

Yeah. I can imagine Sam turning his head ( 3 -4 times ) when scorpion king bites him - Camera closing up and then backing up, just like in the saas - bahu sagas.

Also Sam was there thunderstorm when the scorpion bit you ? ( Sorry for the PJ's guys )

BTW It is sunday. Sam finish the story. We want to know what happened to the Spanish Girls ( Or are they no more in the future scenes ? )

[Sam Kapasi]

Originally Posted by Samurai

Just wondering, I was under the impression that normal scorpion poison was not strong enough to kill an adult. Is the Rajastan scorpion is of a different kind?

Samu, had I received 3 stings from the African scorpion, I would not have made it to the camel.

Originally Posted by pjbiju

Btw, no mention at all about what your gf did in all these. Did she pass out in the dessert and you left her there?

No of course she's there. I'm repeatedly saying that in the jeep are my girlfriend, Faye, Dom and Haji.
The ex girlfriend is definitely there but playing a minor part through my story.

Tell me biju, just out of curiosity, are you married or in a serious relationship with a woman?

[BaCkSeAtDrIVeR]

He knows just where to have a commercial break / pause / interval or whatever. And he knows how to take ages to say what happened in 3 hours.

I am going to recommend Samji as the script writer for one of those saas-bahu soap operas.

[anupmathur]

Sam, if you delay getting into professional writing you'll get your Pulitzer posthumously rather than when you are around to receive it yourself!

[Sam Kapasi]

We are in the state of exhilaration that normally follows extreme despair. I'm pumped enough full of adrenalin to be able to sit up and stare at the dark windscreen every now and then.

Dom is stretched out as far as he can go, his head and shoulders outside the Jeep. A couple of times, due to coordination issues, the Jeep stalls, but soon is started and carries forward.

An hour later we're in Jaisalmer town. It's late and quiet, the Jeep roars and sputters through the empty streets and Haji skilfully manoeuvres through the narrow lanes and avoids the sleeping animals. Soon we're at the public hospital.

Haji runs up with Dom and in about 5 long minutes they return with the Doctor on duty. He is holding a large syringe in gloved hands.

He gets into the Jeep, turns me over and injects me on my left cheek swiftly. It takes 5-7 minutes for me to feel a little better already.
He also cleans up the wound the spanish girl made with her teeth and applies some betadine on it.

They have a short discussion, he takes them back up and gives them some pills and cream for me.

Haji takes us back to the little guest house.

We are warned that I am going to have a difficult night.

To be continued

(OK, I'm just kidding)

It is indeed a tough night. I am in a lot of pain, my foot and parts of my leg are swollen. I take my pills and the cream is applied. I feel awful and nauseous.
I have time to think about a little creature that was able to inflict so much pain on such a large mammal.

By the morning, the swelling has subsided. The foot feels a little iffy, but I am already able to walk to the toilet. I spend the day in the hotel room.

An unfortunate incident occurs. Somehow, I end up chucking both my contact lenses out of the window. I thought I was wearing them and wante to get rid of the storage liquid. Since I was in bed and not able to get up, I simply chucked the contents of the lens case out the window and reached into my eyes to discover I was still wearing my glasses.
The rest of the trip I am unable to wear my sunglasses and am in my regular glasses instead.
(YetiNote: I no longer wear correction glasses, I had a laser procedure done in 2005.)

Faye and Dominic come by to see us and spend most of the day with us, very very sweet of them.

I am feeling terrible about what has happened. The morning after this day I awake early and hobble over to their room.

Knock Knock.

A dishevelled and sleepy Dom answers the door.
Everything alright Sam?

I was just wondering, would you like to go into the Thar desert?



The End.

[normally_crazy]

You need to brush up on your "finishing the story" skills Sam. The end felt like a major damp squib.

[Sam Kapasi]

Originally Posted by normally_crazy

You need to brush up on your "finishing the story" skills Sam. The end felt like a major damp squib.

Arrey? But this is what happened! From where do I find a new twist to the end? Kamaal hai, you are impossible to please.


I like the end, I thought it was sweet.

OK if other people agree that it was a damp ending, I'll write another elaborate end in a while buss?

[normally_crazy]

The end felt a bit rushed and tame - I read the whole story again, twice, still I get the same feeling.

Sigh - maybe I am difficult to please. (My gf was correct )

[wheeler]

Hey come on N_C, the ending is not that bad. You have to visualize Sam standing at Dom's door and as soon as he says that ending dialog, the background music comes on. Maybe something from the Indiana Jones OST and then the credits are displayed. This can actually turn out to be a good ending.

Oh Sam, btw, forgot to mention, the whole tale was very engrossing. Hope you get all your tales published. It could also be something like "The Adventures of TinTin". And then N_C can make a movie out of it. What say N_C?

[anupmathur]

Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi

OK if other people agree that it was a damp ending, I'll write another elaborate end in a while buss?

No no, Sam, all too often life IS a damp squib.
Let people get used to hearing it as it is!

And BTW, it is bus, not buss!

[Sam Kapasi]

Originally Posted by normally_crazy

The end felt a bit rushed and tame - )

Ek toh saala you rush me to write. Then you say the end was rushed.

Sometimes I write when I'm not in the mood, just because everyone is rushing me to write the next part.
Even though the end was rushed, I like the fact that there is a smile and a possible sequel in the end.
But ya ok, maybe it was rushed. But you are difficult to please.

I'll wait for the others' feedback also and especially Jennifer's too.

I think maybe you are right. I shall rewrite the end when I'm in the mood. Let's see what everyone else thinks..

Originally Posted by wheeler

visualize Sam standing at Dom's door and as soon as he says that ending dialog, the background music comes on. Maybe something from the Indiana Jones OST and then the credits are displayed. This can actually turn out to be a good ending.

Exactly, you have to visualise Dom's aghast face saying "This guy never learns does he?"
And you have to imagine my very wicked grin in the end.

[anupmathur]

Originally Posted by Sam Kapasi

And you have to imagine my very wicked grin in the end.

Because this time I'll be wearing wellies and it's the scorpion that will be rushed to the hospital in Jaisalmer!

[normally_crazy]

Then all you go back into the desert and search for the scorpion that bit you. You find him and make him drink the antidote so that he becomes harmless from harmful.

Yeti ka Badla !!