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Old 10th June 2019, 12:14   #16
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Default re: Dissuading under-age driving

Encourage children to know the law and abide by it. This is better done from early ages. Not just laws relating to drive/ ride, but also to be a safe pedestrian. Similarly, getting them to know of all other laws of the land, helps them to be better citizens. One may say that what I am saying is closer to Utopia. All that I can say is that I have followed what I have said above with my sons, and they are responsible and safe citizens. My older son was willing to wait till my younger son turned 18, so that he could get his license to ride and ride/drive, before they got their own bike to share rides.

Further, they have been educating their friends, in turn, on safety and being law abiding citizens.

Last edited by swissknife : 10th June 2019 at 12:15.
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Old 10th June 2019, 13:27   #17
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Default re: Dissuading under-age driving

Wow, must be tough being a parent today. When I was a kid, if there was something my elders didn't want us to do, there was really no way we would dare do that, at least not brazenly and out in the open. Something like taking the family car without consent would have been unthinkable to us back then. There was no question about convincing, debating, if something was not allowed, it was not, period.

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Originally Posted by swissknife View Post
My older son was willing to wait till my younger son turned 18, so that he could get his license to ride and ride/drive, before they got their own bike to share rides.
After seeing how badly all my friends' kids behave, must say this is unexpected and truly amazing! Kudos to your older son and to your family for great parenting.

Edit: Just remembered an incident from last year, the 16-year old nephew of a colleague of my wife managed to total his dad's car by basically ramming it into a stone wall at 2am! In the car with him were his two cousins (my wife's colleague's son and daughter aged 17 and 16 themselves). They were very, very lucky that nothing happened to any of them, or to anyone else on the road, but the family had to pay a lot to several parties to make sure no legal proceedings came out of it. After that, the family wised up and there was no more of the "buddy parenting" system going on for that young man I can tell you!

Last edited by am1m : 10th June 2019 at 13:41.
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Old 10th June 2019, 14:28   #18
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Default re: Dissuading under-age driving

There is a lot of peer pressure on the kids. It is for parents to resist it, but unfortunately almost none do. I know of a case of a 16-17 year ols kid encouraged to drive by her parents.

I am glad none of my kids go behind the wheel before they were 18.
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Old 10th June 2019, 15:19   #19
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Default Re: Dissuading under-age driving

Why is this even a question on the forum? How does anyone dissuade one's child from stealing, breaking things, beating up a peer or younger sibling, stabbing someone with a knife... - in fact, how does one stop a sub-adult teenager from indulging in any form of illegal / anti-social behaviour?

If the answer is not available to the parents, they should not have become parents!
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Old 10th June 2019, 16:25   #20
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Default Re: Dissuading under-age driving

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Originally Posted by SS-Traveller View Post
Why is this even a question on the forum?
Maybe because you've not been in a similar situation, I'm not sure. If you've carefully read the opening post, It's not my child and that's where I cannot use brute force and is looking for alternatives.

And, the child is not stealing, breaking, beating up or stabbing someone. Kindly don't equate unrelated things.

Quote:
in fact, how does one stop a sub-adult teenager from indulging in any form of illegal / anti-social behaviour?
Maybe you could answer better, but you choose to criticise asking questions. That's why the question is framed itself, I'm looking for suggestions.

Quote:
If the answer is not available to the parents, they should not have become parents!
Sorry, but I really despise such mentality that 'no one should do anything without knowing everything', and that too especially on becoming parents.

And to all who replied, thanks for chipping in. It's become more difficult to dissuade the child as there has been another under-18 year old kid in the residential area learning to drive.
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Old 10th June 2019, 16:52   #21
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Default Re: Dissuading under-age driving

To the OP - there are some things that people should not be allowed to do, period. Not giving the keys to a teenager is one of those things. The teenager is a juvenile and will not be charged if something were to happen, but the parents need to take the responsibility if they chose to handover the keys to their underage child.

Please remember that a vehicle in the hands of an immature/juvenile/under age person is no less than a gun in their hand. Teenage hormones can do funny things - please advise the parents to just say "NO" to their child how much ever adamant he might be.
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Old 10th June 2019, 18:05   #22
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Default Re: Dissuading under-age driving.

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Originally Posted by PearlJam View Post
If you're lucky, this will work. But as someone earlier said, parenting is tricky. I have seen around me, and parents find if extremely difficult to deprive their children of their "instant" happiness, especially if the parents have struggled to make it through life, and don't want to deprive their children.

Sorry for sounding pessimistic here!
Oh! I know exactly what you are talking about. When I was a kid, I wanted to have a lot of toy cars, but my parents couldn't afford them. So, when I had a child, I brought him a LOT of car toys and it was going on till one day I heard him saying that "What if I break it, dad will get me another". From that day, I stopped buying toys and made sure that he gets anything he wants only after waiting for some time and only if there is a cause (an occasion, a reward, etc.), and I started teaching him reading the price label to see if something he asks for costs a lot of money or not. Anything above 100INR is costly and above 1500INR is very costly.

Hope this will instill some sense of responsibility and accountability in him.

--Anoop
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Old 10th June 2019, 18:22   #23
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Default Re: Dissuading under-age driving

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Maybe because you've not been in a similar situation, I'm not sure.
Been there, done that, many times. My target has always been the parents, not the child. I've also called the cops. Why can't you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by thoma View Post
If you've carefully read the opening post, It's not my child and that's where I cannot use brute force and is looking for alternatives.
Calling the cops is the only option you have, if the parents won't listen. Both the under-18 illegal drivers ought to be reported. If not, someday it'll be too late to regret the results.
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Originally Posted by thoma View Post
And, the child is not stealing, breaking, beating up or stabbing someone. Kindly don't equate unrelated things.
That's the problem you are facing. All these actions are illegal, and unless we stop condoning such actions, there will be no end to it. As rightly mentioned:
Quote:
Originally Posted by rovingeye View Post
Please remember that a vehicle in the hands of an immature/juvenile/under age person is no less than a gun in their hand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quote:
Originally Posted by thoma View Post
Maybe you could answer better, but you choose to criticise asking questions. That's why the question is framed itself, I'm looking for suggestions.
Two suggestions:
1. Call the cops;
2. Stay out of harm's way.

If you are averse to calling the cops on these underage drivers' parents, you need to heed the advice that an old Bengali saying gives:

পরের ছেলে পরমানন্দ,
যত বয়ে যায় তত আনন্দ।


Loosely translated, it means:
Someone else's kid is called Parmanand,
The worse he becomes, the happier I am.

Quote:
Originally Posted by thoma View Post
Sorry, but I really despise such mentality that 'no one should do anything without knowing everything', and that too especially on becoming parents.
I despise those with the mentality of "driving at any age is my kid's birthright, even if he doesn't know how to drive (and nor do I)".
Quote:
Originally Posted by thoma View Post
It's become more difficult to dissuade the child as there has been another under-18 year old kid in the residential area learning to drive.
Report that kid and his parents to the cops too. Make our roads a slightly safer place.

And don't take my questions personally. They were all rhetorical.

Last edited by SS-Traveller : 10th June 2019 at 18:24.
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Old 10th June 2019, 18:44   #24
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Default Re: Dissuading under-age driving

And, you don't have to go far to find evidence of how dangerous the outcome of allowing a teenager to drive could be. Just look at this post (Pics: Accidents in India) in our accidents thread from today.

As I was watching it, the only thought coming to my mind was - what was the fault of the people who were crushed because of the teenager's mistake?
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Old 10th June 2019, 18:58   #25
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Default Re: Dissuading under-age driving

Take him to the casualty ward in any [government] medical college or hospital where they treat accident victims - I think that should help teach him a lesson or two about consequences of careless (and perhaps underage) driving.
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Old 10th June 2019, 20:19   #26
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Default Re: Dissuading under-age driving

Dear Thoma

Appreciate your courage to do the right thing. My 2 cents.

1. If the boy has a best friend(s) circle try talking to one of them and they in turn making him understand, this can back fire but may work sometimes. A teen hardly listens to their parents but their social peer circle have a stronger influence on them.

2. Even teachers and role models of the teen can be approached for a friendly counselling.

3. Have a good natured cop or lawyer come home for dinner and let them explain than parents or relatives.

4. Most teens or parents are actually unaware of the entire mess and danger of underage driving.

5. Divert the teen s temptation elsewhere, take him Go Karting or para gliding or white water rafting to quench that adrenaline rush.

I believe if we have a choice, try positive reinforcement than negative reinforcement first. God Bless
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Old 11th June 2019, 03:44   #27
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Default Re: Dissuading under-age driving

Showing pictures and videos of accidents to can scare him, but some children might be too brave.

I'd suggest you read up on why 18 is the age in which people are allowed to drive- First is Maturity. Second is development of spatial perception. Our cognition has to improve before we start driving.
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Old 11th June 2019, 04:56   #28
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Default Re: Dissuading under-age driving

Quote:
Originally Posted by sgiitk View Post
There is a lot of peer pressure on the kids. It is for parents to resist it, but unfortunately almost none do.
In Southern California, I see some relief to this pressure. In a downtown setting, there are several kids who are choosing not to learn driving. My son could have gotten a license a year back. He is in no hurry to get a license. If it is left to him he will use a electric skateboard/scooter and Uber all his life. They say, "no parking issues, no parking costs, no insurance costs, no risk". This is so much unlike me- driving/riding a vehicle meant so much to me in my teenage.
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Old 11th June 2019, 09:38   #29
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Default Re: Dissuading under-age driving

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Originally Posted by thoma View Post
I want some material/media in dissuading a 15 year old from driving without license....What I'm looking for is material from the authorities mentioning the penalty, or any videos that can change his view.
The other question : Does the kid knows driving already? If yes, how, where & who taught him? if its the parents who supported its too late to find solutions of the questions you have raised & suggestions you are looking for. Cause the practice these days is if I know it, I have to use it: be it smart phone or the car.

If anything sensible that the senior BHPIans have suggested does not works out: Try this out of the world idea,
  • find a friendly cop,
  • stage a drama.
  • Give the child the keys (if he is already a driver)
  • have him fined immediately (within a KM or two) and/or accompanied by a small trip of hour or two, to the Police station.

Same can be tried if he wants to learn, during his learning sessions. You know some people learn it hard way & you have to bend the finger sometimes. Though this can be really disheartening & may have long term effects, but will still be a breather for next 2-3 years till he becomes of legal age & can restart. Kids being too sensitive these days, May need some counselling after this.

I support "The Observer's" thoughts. Take him to Go Karting. Will calm down his adrenalin rush of driving.

Last edited by saurabh2711 : 11th June 2019 at 09:40.
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Old 11th June 2019, 11:48   #30
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Originally Posted by saurabh2711 View Post
The other question : Does the kid knows driving already? If yes, how, where & who taught him? if its the parents who supported its too late to find solutions of the questions you have raised & suggestions you are looking for.
This is a brilliant question! If the parents themselves taught the kid to drive, then, well.

[A humorous aside, perhaps the kid will win a World Cup someday:

"Yuvi and I go back a very long way. I first saw him at the Sports Authority of India academy in Chandigarh. I was 14 and I remember not being impressed. He had come driving a blue Maruti 800, without a licence, and we were told he was Yograj Singh's son. For a teenager to drive up to a ground in his own car was unimaginable." - Harbhajan Singh on Yuvraj Singh. ]
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