I am actually my father!

dailydriver · 21st March 2018, 20:31

The child, William Wordsworth said, is the father of man. He meant to say that whatever is seen, experienced and imbibed in childhood is likely to remain etched in our consciousness and will play a major role in shaping our personality.

Psychologists too tend to agree. Just as we say: Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are, in the same way we can say: Tell me how your childhood was and I will tell you how you are now.

Of all the influences in our younger days, the most important is the one exerted by our parents. Some of us are our father's favorite and some mother's. We unconsciously look up to them, admire them, imitate them and in many cases, want to become like them.

A father is, in a normal household, the child's first hero; the bulwark of the family, the problem solver, the giver - if you may. The reverse is also true, in opposite circumstances.

Yesterday, while looking in the mirror, I suddenly realised that I actually resemble my father a lot, in more ways than one. Not just that, many of my mannerisms and actions too are a reflection of my father's. On close observation-introspection, I also found that my reactions to my daughter's actions are not far removed from my father's to mine. Of course, our world view, thought processes and preferences are different, owing mainly to the variance in our education and experience. But that is beside the point.

Chinua Achebe's protagonist in Things Fall Apart, Okonkwo, is an excellent example of how a father's life shapes up his son's.

What do Bhpians think?

Tanveer02 · 21st March 2018, 20:56

Such a nice post. I, with my whole heart agree to each and every word in this post. The teachings and habits of a father have a large impact in a child, specially when the child is a son. And when someone praises of any good habit which I have, I take pride in saying that ''Its just the blood of my father which is flowing in my veins.''

get2bid · 21st March 2018, 21:33

There is a saying in Hindi:
Baap Ka Beta aur Sipahi ka Ghoda
Kuch Nahi to Thoda Thoda

For the benefit of people who do not understand Hindi, a literal translation would be:
A Dad's son and a soldier's horse would have at least some traits in common.

As we grow older, we realize that most of the traits, mannerisms and style are actually very much same as one's dad. During the growing up years, how much ever we resent dad, at some point in life, everyone realizes that, knowingly or unknowingly, they have the same traits as one's Dad.

anthusiast · 21st March 2018, 22:05

As per Hindu scriptures,

Quote:

"atma vai putra namasi"

, one's son is equal to himself.

“You have taken birth from my various limbs and have arisen from my very heart. You are my own self in the form of my son. May you live through a hundred autumns.” This verse appears in the Satapatha Brahmana (14.9.8.4) and the Brhad-aranyaka Upanisad (6.4.8).

http://www.srimadbhagavatamclass.com...er-78-text-36/

dailydriver · 25th September 2018, 15:32

Referring to an article that appeared in The Hindu last Sunday, a reader wrote the following in the Letters to the Editor column:

Quote:

"We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt, will think us so,” is what comes to mind...

The younger generation forgets it too will become old and could face isolation and despair. Today, parental advice is never heeded, as Google is the guru.

*Emphasis mine.

am1m · 25th September 2018, 17:05

(already posted this in the 'quit smoking' thread but here goes again...)

As a parent, you have an INCREDIBLE amount of influence on your children's choices. The choices your children make are either to conform to your way of life and make you happy or to oppose you and your way of life, but either way, you are certainly one of the the main influences throughout their lives either intentionally or unintentionally.

Back when I was younger and stupid and used to smoke cigarettes, I always insisted on smoking Wills Navy Cut. All my friends preferred Gold Flake, yet I stubbornly stuck to Wills. Years later, much after I quit smoking, I realized why. My dad used to smoke Wills Navy Cut and even though he quit years and years before I even started smoking, and even though my parents split up years ago and I hardly even ever saw him after that, somehow his cigarette brand preference stayed in my subconsciousness.

Something for all dads to ponder...

Enobarbus · 25th September 2018, 17:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by anthusiast

“You have taken birth from my various limbs and have arisen from my very heart. You are my own self in the form of my son.

This is a bit too much IMHO. This does not take into consideration any individual traits that the son might have.
Fathers should definitely try to guide and shape a child's personality but not so much as to totally dominate the child. One must never forget that every child is unique. Nobody, parents and teachers included, should obliterate that which makes the child unique.

Some parents want to see their child achieve what they themselves were not able to. If the child has it in him, its OK, but in many cases the parents push the poor child into things he/she has absolutely no appetite for. No child is merely an extension of his/her parent.

I am a Hindu, albeit a non practicing one. I have nothing against Hindu scriptures and am a great admirer of some of them.

21st March 2018, 20:31	#1
dailydriver Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2017 Location: Roadeo-City Posts: 1,236 Thanked: 6,935 Times	I am actually my father! The child, William Wordsworth said, is the father of man. He meant to say that whatever is seen, experienced and imbibed in childhood is likely to remain etched in our consciousness and will play a major role in shaping our personality. Psychologists too tend to agree. Just as we say: Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are, in the same way we can say: Tell me how your childhood was and I will tell you how you are now. Of all the influences in our younger days, the most important is the one exerted by our parents. Some of us are our father's favorite and some mother's. We unconsciously look up to them, admire them, imitate them and in many cases, want to become like them. A father is, in a normal household, the child's first hero; the bulwark of the family, the problem solver, the giver - if you may. The reverse is also true, in opposite circumstances. Yesterday, while looking in the mirror, I suddenly realised that I actually resemble my father a lot, in more ways than one. Not just that, many of my mannerisms and actions too are a reflection of my father's. On close observation-introspection, I also found that my reactions to my daughter's actions are not far removed from my father's to mine. Of course, our world view, thought processes and preferences are different, owing mainly to the variance in our education and experience. But that is beside the point. Chinua Achebe's protagonist in Things Fall Apart, Okonkwo, is an excellent example of how a father's life shapes up his son's. What do Bhpians think? Last edited by dailydriver : 21st March 2018 at 20:33.
	(1) Thanks

21st March 2018, 20:56	#2
Tanveer02 BHPian Join Date: Oct 2017 Location: Assam/AS-05 Posts: 125 Thanked: 673 Times View My Garage	Re: I am actually my father! Such a nice post. I, with my whole heart agree to each and every word in this post. The teachings and habits of a father have a large impact in a child, specially when the child is a son. And when someone praises of any good habit which I have, I take pride in saying that ''Its just the blood of my father which is flowing in my veins.'' Last edited by Tanveer02 : 21st March 2018 at 21:11.
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21st March 2018, 21:33	#3
get2bid BHPian Join Date: Dec 2017 Location: Hyderabad Posts: 95 Thanked: 163 Times	Re: I am actually my father! There is a saying in Hindi: Baap Ka Beta aur Sipahi ka Ghoda Kuch Nahi to Thoda Thoda For the benefit of people who do not understand Hindi, a literal translation would be: A Dad's son and a soldier's horse would have at least some traits in common. As we grow older, we realize that most of the traits, mannerisms and style are actually very much same as one's dad. During the growing up years, how much ever we resent dad, at some point in life, everyone realizes that, knowingly or unknowingly, they have the same traits as one's Dad.
	() Thanks

25th September 2018, 17:05	#6
am1m Distinguished - BHPian Join Date: May 2010 Location: Bangalore Posts: 1,990 Thanked: 13,028 Times	Re: I am actually my father! (already posted this in the 'quit smoking' thread but here goes again...) As a parent, you have an INCREDIBLE amount of influence on your children's choices. The choices your children make are either to conform to your way of life and make you happy or to oppose you and your way of life, but either way, you are certainly one of the the main influences throughout their lives either intentionally or unintentionally. Back when I was younger and stupid and used to smoke cigarettes, I always insisted on smoking Wills Navy Cut. All my friends preferred Gold Flake, yet I stubbornly stuck to Wills. Years later, much after I quit smoking, I realized why. My dad used to smoke Wills Navy Cut and even though he quit years and years before I even started smoking, and even though my parents split up years ago and I hardly even ever saw him after that, somehow his cigarette brand preference stayed in my subconsciousness. Something for all dads to ponder...
	() Thanks