[vigsom]

Introduction

This is a quick account of my experiences, both as a guest and as part of the Working Committee, at a wedding of a close friend's daughter. The intent here is to share

1. what went well
2. what we could have done better
3. important points that need close attention and
4. amusing episodes that alleviated some of the sadness that prevailed

[vigsom]

Run up to the event

Organising a wedding in India is a elaborate affair - months of planning, fixing the venue, listing down items to be purchased, drawing up the guest list, inviting in person or via the E-Invite route, managing guest egos, organising accommodation for select guests, managing logistics, ensuring that all arrangements are in place. All this is part of the package.

In this case, all this was done quite well, but as we all know, as we approach D-Day, tensions being to rise, unforeseen events come to the fore, and many low priority items sometimes take up more energy and cause anxiety until they're completed.

The first botch up and the subsequent challenge

A supplier from my city had been lined up to deliver approx. 350 pieces of an item to my friend. These were to be given as "return gifts" to identified guests at the event. The stuff was delivered approx. a week before D-Day only for my friend and his wife to discover that the gifts were of sub-par quality. With so much on the plate in the run up to the wedding, she showed quite some anxiety, and that is when we decided to make things a little easier for her. We suggested she call the supplier, and ask him to send us either the replacement items OR alternate items to our place so that we could inspect them all and take them along when we drove down. That was agreed. However, when the replacement items came, we got this shock - seven cartons, full of items, with each item weighting close to 850 grams.

Seven cartons = 300 kgs


Approx 850g x 350 nos. = 300kgs of weight (with the bulk). There were only 3 days to go for departure and we wanted no more surprises; ended up repacking all these items in bags, blankets, suitcases and while doing so, discovered that thirty items were of a different type. We had the supplier come over again and replace these thirty. Finally when all was set, we ended up with this - approx. 40 cu.ft of luggage. The only way this could go was either in a mini truck, or in my own truck. And here is how the stuff finally went - with second and third rows folded with just enough clearance to use the IRVM. The weight was equivalent to four adults but the bulk needed management. Tyres were inflated to the recommended full load pressure and we managed the journey well with no hiccups enroute.

Gifts repacked into bags, blankets, suitcases




Fully loaded car

[vigsom]

Run up to the wedding (Contd.)

After reaching the destination, the car was parked away, safe and secure until we moved to the venue. Now, amidst all the anxiety and other emotions, a few lively episodes emerged.

Episode#1

My friend's eldest uncle, aged 92, and his two sons, both in their 50s had to be picked up from a flat on the same floor as my friend's flat. We had planned two drivers on standby, but one of them didn't report that day. Result - I went and picked them up. While leaving with the Uncle and the sons, we realised that Uncle's walking stick was left back at my friend's flat but the keys were with the friend at the venue. He sent one of his cousins who'd come from overseas to open the flat and bring the walking stick over, by when I'd reached the venue with Uncle plus two sons. The cousin was not able to open the flat and tried mighty hard. I was sent back there to help get the flat open and retrieve the walking stick. On going there, I found what the issue was. There were two locks - one anticlockwise to open and the other EUROPA with the dotted keys clockwise to open. Anyways, long story short - walking stick retrieved and confusion#1 laid to rest.

Clockwise to open

[vigsom]

Other arrangements

1. Large number of guests at the reception and the wedding, but were managed quite well. There was parking for 120 cars and we had posted eight valets to manage the parking part - well done with no complaint from any guest
2. Food and beverages - coffee and tea was available most of the time. Food was excellent, and one of the high points of the event
3. Accommodation for limited guests - Thirteen airconditioned rooms at the venue had been earmarked for the bride's side. Some of these weren't big enough but just about did the job of offering limited rest. Additional guests were accommodated at a hotel closeby which had a good parking and a nice lobby, but the alleys leading to the rooms resembled RMS Titanic. Those who got rooms pre-renovation did face issues in leaky taps, wet patches on walls and the like. However, these rooms were meant only to be used for limited rest as the transition from reception to the wedding was just 8 hours max.

Reception and Wedding

Well done, with an almost on time start. All guests were delighted with the food arrangements; those who got the gifts were happier.

Emotions at the close of the wedding

Quite natural to see an air of sadness as the bride is given away; and that became a little more intense as she was leaving the venue to walk into the new home. Tired faces, most of whom hadn't slept more than four hours each night over the last three nights, coupled with the sombre feeling of seeing the bride go away - quite a sight. But a couple of more konphusions added some liveliness to the proceedings.

Episode#2

When all items were packed and it was time to vacate the venue, a few brass items that were supposed to go with the bride were found untraceable. Time was running out and an impromptu decision was made for 2 folks to go to a vessels store, purchase brand new ones and then hand them over to the bride and the groom to be taken to their home. Items bought, and just when it was billing time, the mobile rings and a confirmation comes that the items have been traced. Where? In a box that had left the venue and gone back to my friend's flat.

Episode#3

Episode#2 had just gotten over, when another gentleman and I (in charge of reconciliation of gifts) were summoned to the venue with both our cars' boot space fully open - to be able to shift all stuff out. My car had two bags of my wife that she needed to carry to her relative's place. She thought I'd bring them over to the venue but didn't tell this to me specifically. She wasn't aware that the cars had been summoned with clean boots. I took the bags out and placed them back at the other gentleman's place as I didn't know of this plan. She called me when I was midway to the venue asking about these two bags, and I told her they were no longer in the car. We reached the venue, and both my car and the other friend's XUV500 swallowed all the luggage at the venue, and once we took them to the original home (the place where the walking stick was stuck), my wife finally got her bags and left. She lost 30 mins in the process. However, a few minutes later, she asked for yet another bag that she'd forgotten to take. That had got mixed up with bags that I'd unloaded the my friend's place. Anyways, all was sorted out a little later and all bags, and vessels reached their rightful owners.

[vigsom]

Summarising our experiences

What went well

1. Meticulous planning by the bride's parents, uncles and aunts - excel sheets were prepared on what needed to be done, what needed to be purchased, list of guests for the reception, list of guests for both events, task list with responsibilities
2. All suitcases labelled after packing
3. Except the walking stick, no item was left back; not a single additional trip needed to be done to bring something to the mantap
4. Top class food and beverage arrangements - Best In Class
5. Neat and easy to access venue with ample car parking
6. Valet parking service during the reception and the wedding
7. One autorickshaw was on standby at the venue to do quick trips through crowded roads
8. Not one key or anyone's mobile phone was lost ever during the flurry of events

What could have been better

1. Availability of 2-3 drivers at the venue; there were enough cars but one autorickshaw felt a tad inadequate
2. Choice of hotel rooms could have been better
3. Too many items on the plate at the Reception dinner resulting in diners wasting food - at least 3 items could have been knocked off
4. The venue presented a sorry state after the event - I wish we could have handed it cleaner
5. Gifts management/ handover should have been done 1-o-1 rather than in public

Venue after the event




My learnings

1. Although this event did not have egoistic personalities who needed man-to-man marking, it is important to factor this in and choose the right people to manage such personalities
2. Each one should take care of his/her belongings, keys and phones
3. Split of expenses is typically 30-40% catering, 25% for the venue, 5-10% for decor, 3% for make up, rest for gifts and other purchases
4. Food, stay and transport are important items that can lead to guests' delight/ otherwise
5. Despite the best of planning, unplanned events take place, and one should just take these in one's stride as God's way of infusing action into the proceedings


Readers, Please chip in with your experiences!!

[Sheel]

Thread moved out from the Assembly Line. Thanks for sharing!

[One]

Marriages are
- High quality entertainment for casual observers
- High pressure jobs for the organisers
- Cure for writer's block
- Tool to invoke everybody's food buds which have been lying dormant eating homemade food for decades
- Foreign and Domestic Policy trials with large congregations from two sides
- Vision test to keep track of who got better treatment and gifts

.....lost keys, misplaced bags, missing shoes, third sex demands.....

And at the end of it all, the beginning of a new journey for the two people at the center of it all...

[Bibendum90949]

I just wonder why you didn't rope in an event organiser to do all this, end to end, more so when it was a large scale affair. Sorry if I missed something in your posts.

Though it's an expensive affair, it takes a whole lot of stress and anxiety out of the host's heads. They can relax and enjoy the whole festivity, just like any other guest. That's what i've observed in my circle, whenever the event is on a large scale(read hundreds of guests).

It must have been some experience for you to have been part of this. I know how tough it is to even organise a kid's birthday party, if one were to run the whole show. Since last few years, we leave it to the pros to do the job for us.

[vigsom]

Attended another wedding reception recently, wherein the guest list was huuuuge - over 1200. A few observations/ learnings from here as well:

Good

1. The venue was a little distant from the bride's home, but the bride's Dad, Mr.Meticulous, had numbered/ labelled all items like almost 5S compliant. No item was missed
2. No item was missed on return too - even the last pair of scissors, paper cutter and brown packing tape were all brought back
3. Top class food and beverage arrangements - great variety on offer but a sit down eating arrangement
4. Easy to access venue with ample car parking
5. Valet parking service; no complaints whatsoever from guests. The 20 valets, turned out in black uniforms, looked rather muscular too
6. Bouncers at the venue for queue management
7. Terrific support from family and friends - some friends knew the bride's parents for as low as one week, yet went out to help in full spirit - as one other friend mentioned, "Mrs. and Mr. Meticulous' friendship is infectious"

What could have been better

1. Wait time in the queue was long, and guests were visibly tired. I wonder if it makes sense for the bride n groom to walk around, meet and greet guests, get their blessings rather than guests having to wait wait and wait for their turn
2. Some guests getting a priority pass to walk on stage; this did cause some waiting guests to mutter something
3. Too many fragile items carried to the venue to conform to the theme of the event. Items eg. paintings, models. This took more time and care to pack back and carry back home
4. Mild fireworks at the venue - could have been avoided as this could have gotten bad
5. The post event exit by F&F (family and friends) could have been faster. Folks took quite long to return home. Eg. event started at 6:30pm, last guest on stage at 10:15pm, exit from venue 00:30am., and an early wake up the next morning for "Mehndi".

Additional learnings

1. It is good to keep a medium sized bag, and two large cartons back stage, hidden away from public view, to collect all hard gifts and gift envelopes; no additional effort required when they need to be shifted out
2. Rather than have one person shoulder the full responsibility of any task, every task should have one POC and one or two sidekicks. This helps, especially during on stage gifts collection
3. Some monitoring of catering is required; they tend to inflate numbers big time in larger events