[ascertain]

Hey all,

As promised in the post 'Milk spill woes' here is the result of my car cleaning!

I woke up at 2 a.m on the 9th day of the 'great car stink', with a sudden flash - that of my mom-in-laws driver fooling around with the car!. An apt name fell into place for the chap -

MR.CROOKSHANKS (For non- harry potter readers- this is the picture



-- a pretty good impression of the driver when he's asked if he's cleaned the car!)


anyway, pondered and pondered (I dunno over what,I forget- honestly!), but next morning around 9 a.m after I'd gotten a break from 'daddy duties' (granted by Prof. Moriarty, who was pretty much still in recovery phase), I hurried off to the ailing 'sxi' Family member, and decided to give it a thorough check up a week before due.


Well.. I opened the door, and sure enough the stink was still there, though it had reduced a lot, and I could sit in the car without fainting.

I had given the car to my mom-in-law for a week's time for her family visits, and since she uses a driver , I was a bit apprehensive about the car maintenance (Because it is inherent in all crookshanks of the world to litter the car with a bouquet of objects - combs/Ash/Prasad/Pens/Magazines/hair gel/mosquito repellent/towel/dirty wiping cloth/ and foodstuff)

Call me obsessive compulsive - but there is very little that I miss on my 'cleanliness drives'

I snooped around (trying my best to imitate my wife in her 'detective' mode) and as mentioned in the 'crookshanks- must have list' found the following- which tore my heart apart and made me really really mad!

1) 2 combs - one brown & 1 fluoroscent green
2) Temple ash/ flowers wrapped in newspaper, stuffed into one of the cubbyholes
3) 2 refill pens - one without cap
4) A tamil mag with some orotund female gracing its covers- in a 'shakuntala' pose (Funny- I thought the chap was kannadiga)
5) A greasy wiping cloth
6) A piece of paper with 4-5 doodles

and the grand finale-


when I put my hand into a deep recess on the drivers side door, I felt something squishy give away to my fingers.
Alarmed at the squishiness, I peeked in with a light, and lo behold-

I found the decaying body of
Mr.Musa coccinea


Who happens to be a Banana-










The discovery of the decaying corpse sent shivers up my spine - the game was afoot!.. and the discovery confirmed the role of Mr.Crookshanks in contributing to the stink.. I ruled out Prof.Moriarty because -
1)she doesn't like Mr. Musa coccinea
2)She is an even greater cleanliness freak than me.
3)She could'nt have driven the car and had a whim about killing Mr.Musa at the same time!!

so I got out of the car - really really really mad, and hunted around for MR. Crookshanks - but could'nt find him! - apparently he'd taken off for a week.

I took pictures of the crime scene, and am just waiting for the lazy bag to get back to work, He'll get it royally then!

After I removed Mr. Musa's corpse from the car,I left the doors open for some time with the blower on, after that I sprayed some odor neutralizer inside the car, and parked it in the shade- evening came, and I wearily stepped in- and YAHOO! - the stink had reduced by almost 90%.

moral of the story -
"Always check your belongings after you've given the keys to the monkey with the banana"

Now Prof. Moriarty's really angry after seeing the pictures, and we're planning a double attack come tuesday!

[srijit]

Seems like the universe is conspiring against you, not letting you have a clean smelling car. Oh well, more fun for us

[Ravveendrra]

@ ascertain,

Please note that Crookshanks is your M-I-Ls driver. If the dressing down (that you and Prof. Moriarty have in mind) is really good he might hand in his papers.

If Crookshanks hands in his papers, your M-I-L is gonna be (a) without a driver (b) mad at you (after all you are the worthless son-in-law who snagged her precious away through skullduggery, sleight of hand and other underhand practices).

The probable consequences are that you end up substituting for Crookshanks and you will have to drive her around town and/or might have the 'benefit' of an extended visit by said M-I-L while she gets another Crookshanks, and/or you get bunged into the doghouse by M-I-L & Prof. Moriarty.

Hark, I see signs saying:

"Thin Ice"

"Tread carefully - eggshells ahead"

"Proceed at your own risk"

Cheers,


P.S. have you considerd getting yourself a convertible? A Spyder perhaps?

[f450]

I love your posts, but I think you're taking it a bit too far this time. :P

You know when you take a restaurant waiter apart for a small reason, and he takes revenge by spitting in ur soup (or worse)? I wouldn't risk it with drivers.

And again, love your posts.

P.S.: Does Prof. Moriarty know about these posts?

[ascertain]

@ Raveendra - Thanks for bringing those vital points to my attn .. but I guess I'm on pretty safe ground here- lol.. my mom in law was the first person to whom I showed the pix, and being Prof. Moriarty's mom, she's a very 'spick 'n span' person, and almost had a fit on seeing the pix. My Dad-in-law was anyway planning to chuck this guy because he's just too Lazy!..

[phamilyman]

Have you ever considered that the time spent in writing these posts could be spent making it more beautiful smelling?

/go for it.

[ascertain]

Originally Posted by phamilyman

Have you ever considered that the time spent in writing these posts could be spent making it more beautiful smelling?

/go for it.

at midnight?.. my dear friend- I'm not THAT much of a maniac YET!

[jithudigitised]

may be after all this conspiracy against stinking your car,you will be one !!

[phamilyman]

Originally Posted by ascertain

I woke up at 2 a.m on the 9th day of the 'great car stink', with a sudden flash

Originally Posted by ascertain

at midnight?.. my dear friend- I'm not THAT much of a maniac YET!

Well not yet - but you're getting there !

[BaCkSeAtDrIVeR]

1. Put a damp cloth where the offending article was for a couple of hours.

2. Take out as much of carpeting / upholstery as you can, and with all the doors and windows open (window glass rolled down and doors open), leave the car in the hot sun from 10 AM to 4 PM.

Err. The initial post is Sanskrit for me. ;-P

All I can decipher is that he found a rotten banana under one of the seats. And to be honest, I first thought the squishy thing was effluent from a feline. ;-D

[srijit]

Originally Posted by Ravveendrra

P.S. have you considerd getting yourself a convertible? A Spyder perhaps?

Nice. I like your thinking. So the next post will be about pigeons and crows. Or maybe paan trajectory from a moving bus.

[BaCkSeAtDrIVeR]

Originally Posted by srijit

So the next post will be about pigeons and crows. Or maybe paan trajectory from a moving bus.

And probably, he will want to install bovine proof upholstery too. Look at his location, and this :-

??്.?െ.?ോ??്* | S.K.Mohan: ??്??്*?്?ും ?േ?ം ??ു ?ൊ?ൈ?്* - ?ോ?്?ോ ?ോ?&

[ascertain]

Originally Posted by BaCkSeAtDrIVeR

And probably, he will want to install bovine proof upholstery too. Look at his location, and this :-

??്.?െ.?ോ??്* | S.K.Mohan: ??്??്*?്?ും ?േ?ം ??ു ?ൊ?ൈ?്* - ?ോ?്?ോ ?ോ?&

LOL That is very very true- now you're all giving me ideas for another post!