[androdev]

Spending, saving, charity, social work, saving the planet or living in the mountains - you should do so for your own emotional fulfilment. Otherwise you would be living a fake life. I know people who are perfectly happy not spending and living frugally and also people who are never content no matter how much they spend. As long as you have an emotional connection, you won't worry about "missing out" on other things in life. There is no universal philosophy that suits everyone. Just don't try to be someone else that you are not. And most importantly ask yourself: why so serious?

[CosmicWizard]

I totally relate to what OP has written. Thankfully my spouse brings the much needed balance in my fiscal life IMHO, no harm in having some safety net with judicious use of money but no point ending up as the richest man in the cemetery either.

Once a wise man told me these golden words: when you are 60, you are more likely to regret things you didn't do than the ones that you did, so...

[Bibendum90949]

"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first." ~ Ernestine Ulmer. Life has to be lived now with whatever resources you have. I'm the type who looks to cross the bridge as I get to it. Easier said than done though. May be striking the perfect balance is the key. One Life, Live it and Live it now !

[apachelongbow]

Folks a wise man gave me this invaluable price of advice. He said "always save/invest 1/3rd of your take-home, put 1/3rd of your take-home in EMI and expenses and always ensure that you spend the remaining 1/3rd of the income on your happiness". I asked why the need to spend 1/3rd of your take-home each month? His answer? So that you will work hard and stay motivated for earning that money.
His thumb rule serves me well over all these years.

[gkveda]

Everyone who comes up from lower or lower middle class financial income will have same mind-set. And I believe this is a perfect way to live.

I have 200% satisfaction to live life like how you have stated.

I strongly believe
1. Life is not about having. Life is always about being. So, I have that, i have this, will never make me happy

2. Happiness is not what you are, what you do, what you have or where you live. Happiness is WHAT YOU THINK.

3. I live conservatively, but living conservatively is not my life.

With these principles, it has given me good satisfaction of all that I have and I don't hold my hand too tight while spending to keep account in decimals of paisa, at the same time, not very liberal to empty my account to decimals of paisa.

[Thad E Ginathom]

Take up photography and hifi, as well as cars and bikes, and spend, spend, spend!

Seriously, I would say... Use your common sense not to keep a balance, but buy what you want, and can afford, today. It may not be available tomorrow.

[Red Liner]

Originally Posted by Thad E Ginathom

It may not be available tomorrow.

Or you may not be available tomorrow

[Ranabegins]

I am going through the same thing recently and it has been giving me sleepless nights. I always keep on thinking how much should I save before I start spending more. I drive a 10 years old A star and have been contemplating to replace it for last 2 years but when the time comes I say to myself whats wrong with this car, lets wait 1 more year.

I think job security and source of income has a lot to do with this behavior. Assume if you are a Doctor or a Lawyer you have to worry slightly less about job security as supply of these skills is far less than the demand but if you are in sales or marketing then you may be replaced sooner or later. Also in some skills increase in age is directly proportional to increase in income and job security where as in some skills increase in age may come with the risk of being replaced. Also in some job profiles its harder to find a high paying jobs when you get older.

I think no matter how much we save, it will never be enough. Someday you have to decide that you have good enough backup savings and just start living a bit more though its easier said than done. A few years down the line I may read this and laugh on myself that I was worried without a reason or I may think I was very smart to save more than I should have.

[deep_bang]

I am also very similar. However, one thing that opened my eyes is that I consulted an investment advisor who created a plan for my goals. Once the plan was done, it became clear as to what I was saving for. That big picture helps me when I have to make a decision on buying anything.

So I highly recommend drawing a big picture of your finances and goals and that will in itself provide a great inner peace about the important things being taken care of - which means you know what you can spend now.

[Hayek]

It is always a difficult question on balancing saving and spending. Even more so in a country like India where people feel it is important to earn not just for themselves but also for future generations.

My dad was comfortably off but not rich by any standard - he owned just 3 cars through his life - a 1956 Landmaster purchased in the early 1970s which gave up the ghost in the mid 1980s, a Maruti 800 from 1988 to 2004 and a Santro thereafter.

Au contraire, I moved from a Zen to a City, then a Superb and an X3 over less than 2 decades. When I think about my spending decisions, while each of these cars was affordable, it does put you on a different trajectory for overall spend. Friends of mine (with similar incomes) who picked a Civic around the time I bought the Superb are happy with a Superb or Camry now - others who moved to the Germans at the same age are now on a treadmill towards an S Class or equivalent. Further, when you own a luxury car, very often your lifestyle in other areas also tends to become higher cost. And that’s the real problem with spending as much as you can afford, we are primed as humans to want growth in our lives, and if we get to a particular level of achievement or spend at a young age, find it difficult to sustain that desire for progress.

So I guess it is important to strike a balance - you don’t want to spend all you can based on current income in an uncertain world, but can’t be at the other extreme where your grand children are the only ones who benefit from your effort.

[pugram]

It's always good to have a plan and work for it.

Financial prudence is the need for the hour in the current scheme of things.

But that doesn't mean you should not splurge on items that bring you joy. Rewards do motivate you in ways you may not know. It has a psychological effect on you and may motivate you further.

So spend on things that you really require and will motivate you.

I too took the help of a financial advisor and have some sort of a savings plan for the future. Whether that will be sufficient or not will be known only in future. But the planning gives you peace of mind that you are definitely working towards a goal.

So you have planned and accumulated some savings already. Just build on them regularly. Remove the guilt, spend wisely and enjoy life

[sharan1988]

I feel the same way too. I am extremely careful with money and I have this feeling always within me that I don't have any one to come to my rescue when in need even though my family is wealthy enough. Thats why I have cultivated a habit of not having credit cards or take any loans. That's the only reason I am still living at a rental property today. I save up money up front to buy anything I need which may not be a good thing for a depreciating object. At the end of the day I feel compromised sometimes thinking about it but having money in my bank makes me more happy .

[DreamsUnlimited]

Nice post! Thanks for opening up to a very relevant issues these days.

I think its more about identifying what makes us really happy. Of course, it's different for different individuals but if something makes you genuinely happy, do it now, don't wait till tomorrow. A simple rule I follow is, if I feel like doing something which makes me regret it later, it's not happiness, it's temptation. As for shopping/buying things, if I feel a strong urge, I just force myself to wait a few more days and see if I still have that urge, 9 out of 10 times, I have thanked myself for waiting as, once the temptation wave subsides, you simply don't attribute same value to that object as before.
Worst is to feel obliged to do/buy something just because your relatives/friends/neighbors are doing it. Once you assign your self worth with 'things' you own, there is no end to accumulation and every new toy acquired by someone will trigger the complex inside you. Invest in experiences, drag yourself out of comfort zone, do something which you have been afraid of, give when no one is watching and never keep a record of it; the sense of freedom, happiness and peace these things give are priceless and almost always free of cost.
I would recommend you read Dale Carnegie's 'How to stop worrying and start living'- quite few practical tips there.

[kiran_aithal]

Very well written. It simply sounds like me

One of the ways that I have found to overcome this is

1. to have a bucket list for life (Fast luxury car, big house, cruise around the world, sky diving, trek in the Himalayas, etc, etc)
2. as they say ' there is an age for everything'; not many people will want to/be able to drive fast car at 60+ (most of us are not growing younger by the day). So, prioritize the items in the bucket list.
3. once you have earned/saved that 'extra' money or see it coming in the near future, go for it.

I just did it a couple of months back when I got myself an X4.

Family wanted me to invest in real estate or the likes and postpone buying the BMW ("why waste money on a new car when we have a well maintained Cruze"). My reasoning was simple 'Don't postpone joy', and I enjoy driving good fast cars and always wanted to own a beemer.

So, my suggestion - Go for it, guilt free, and ENJOY!

[vishwasvr]

I was terrible with money. Back when I was an employee, I had a well paid job. But I was extremely reckless with my money. I was a highly impulsive buyer. Didn't think of savings, future etc. Luckily I never got into debt cycle. Every month I ended up buying stuff I by and large didn't need. But when I quit my job and got into business, I had a good year or so while my work space was getting constructed, naturally my income and ceased and realised I was kind of going broke with my lifestyle. I then started selling the stuff I never used much or used at all at throw away prices.

I learnt a hard but very valuable lesson. If you buy things you don't need, one day you'll end up selling things you might need. I learnt how to manage money. I started looking at my expenses and tracked money outflow. I'm in a much better place financially.

I got married during peak lockdown last year and one of the reasons why I did that was because I wanted to save money! Marriage expenditure in India are ridiculous, I saved a ton of money by getting married at my wife's home. Invited just about 50 people who mattered the most. I managed to buy myself a big bike only because I saved the money I would have otherwise been forced to spend. My wife and I love travelling on motorcycles. I felt it was a good choice. We are both happy about it.

I now give myself time before I purchase anything. I ask myself, do I really need it? Will I die if I don't buy it?

I've managed to be more conscious about expenses. But I draw the line when it comes to unwinding and relaxing. I earmark a small portion of my income toward doing normal things. Going to the movies, long rides on my bike etc are still a part of my expenses. But I don't buy things on impulse. I've invested in a few shares etc.