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-   -   Road Rage - Understanding, Avoidance and De-escalating Situation (https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/road-safety/133373-road-rage-understanding-avoidance-de-escalating-situation-11.html)

Thank you so much for this post. I have been following it since yesterday morning.., just after going through your post and it's helped me immensely! If only myself and more importantly, my friend had made up our minds before this incident... Now, past is past. Time to move on. And most importantly, this is not the "inappropriate" time. It's actually the other way round and if I had gone through this thread earlier (I never knew this existed - frankly, did not bother to search of course), I would not have written the above post at the first place. Better late than never. We live in India. We need this.

After going through Sherlocked's post, I have started following that rule very strictly. At the end of the day, I need to reach home in one piece. My Mom's waiting for me and she has nobody else but me. Period!

We have realized it too late. The only thing we both can say is that we won't get into such situations again - ever!


You are spot on! I've been in the Police Station for more than 6 hours during the last two days. All I see are incidents of Mobile Phones getting stolen or something else getting stolen. No reports of road-rage or injuries. Even I'm sure there are too many of them and they go unnoticed either due to lack of evidences or due to cowardice.

Thanks GTO! Need of the hour for sure.

BTW, with respect to an update on the situation, we were called up by the Police last night and they informed us that the house of the culprit has been traced and they've summoned him. We wanted to know if we were supposed to be present.., and if so, the time for us to be present. The Police told us to be there by 9:30 to 10AM this morning. We were there at exactly 9:35AM. The culprit did not turn up - may be he's scared or may be he's least bothered about the law and might be feeling he's above it. I can't comment.

We were informed that we will be called again after the culprit turns up - this time, let him wait for us and not the other way round. Not sure if it would happen today or tomorrow or any other day. :deadhorse


By your words, I'm imagining a paradise for the drivers! I so wish to drive sometime on such roads :)

Absolutely Sir! As mentioned earlier in this post, we realized this too late. Yes, this was definitely avoidable. The only mistake that my friend made was to get out of the car. We were reviewing the video and he's insisting that.., and also it feels that way.., that the signal got weak and hence he got out of the car. The other guy felt intimidated by it. A totally avoidable incident which turned out to be pretty bad.


I cannot thank them enough! I don't know what to say, but they were our angels for the day.


At least, the cops looked as though they care for us. They spoke decently, listened to all our plea, watched the DashCam recording patiently, analyzed it, advised us to use the Rule of Garbage Truck - their own version of course, but the gist was the same. They also took our complaint and filed the NCR (we demanded FIR, but they have their own set of complications)


At least, I've decided to change myself to the "You first" attitude since yesterday. It's alright to be last. That's way better than "Never". Again, my Mom's waiting for me at home...

Those are two contradictory statements there. When you decide not to give way to a person, it is treated as aggression by such "Garbage trucks". No one can justify what this guy did but then it's our choice as to how we wish to live our life. What do you expect to come out of the police complaint? The guy didn't even show up, which just says a lot about his fear of law. Its best to either shut yourself and stay in your cocoon or otherwise have so much clout that you can make life hell for such people. There is no middle ground. Please do keep us updated about the action that Cops take.

The "tend not to" is within the mind. It's never shown to the outside world and remains a matter of fight between the mind and the body.., where most of the time, there's a disconnect between the two. The body does the right thing and doesn't let the mind take over and hence, I belong to the category who, at most of the time, yield to others and not block them in reality. And yeah, this guy was different and he connected the mind and body when we encountered him. For sure, he turned out to be the worst of the lot of those Garbage Trucks.


agree: Definitely! As of now, there's no update. Still waiting...

I guess I spoke a bit early ;) As I was making my way to the northern part of Bangalore I saw a driver (car model not important but suffice to say its a small car with a pretty wide rump) carelessly moving all over the place - going slow, riding in the middle of lane markers and yet trying to shove himself into every gap possible like a kid in a candy store, his thought process would've been like "oooh gap here, me goes.. ooowwiee another gap me go there too". I was playing the waiting game patiently watching in amusement until he slowed down to a full 3 cars behind me due to picking the wrong lane and he immediately crosses over to the lane I was in and gives a full 3-4 second honk (yes I counted).

I got out for a few seconds (red signal) and gave him what he had coming - a mid-street gyan session. I just said stuff on the lines of what the heck do you think you're doing? Have you seen yourself drive? What pressing hurry is driving you to this level of insanity? He made some empty irritated/constipated gestures to prove his correctness and changed lanes (again) to move on.

Reminder to myself > UBER as much as possible. Also, I don't recommend responding to brainless drivers such as the piece above.. but I was tailing for over 10 minutes watching everyone suffer from his actions as he creeped up on each one without a warning and seriously was resorting to reckless, unruly driving without a 2nd thought. I can take care of myself if needed but nonetheless, might I add that Bangalore roads today gets to the best of us. A once warm and friendly city turned into a total warzone by its greatest invaders - the lure of wealth.

For anybody who's reading - PLEASE DRIVE SAFE/SLOW AND OBEY THE RULES!!! THE ROADS ARE NOT A PACMAN PC GAME WHERE MISTAKES ARE ERASED.

Not adding fuel to fire and going your way is the best resort. Earlier on while safe, I have not been a very polite driver, speeding, honking (thanks to the initial years of driving in Kanpur & later Gurgaon, Delhi). However, looking back I feel that while you may get out a fight on the road unscathed it spoils the mood, in my case for days.

Last evening I started back from office (in Colombia) at around 5 PM (peak hours) the traffic was spread from red light to red light not once during my 3.5 kms. of walk to the Hotel I could see any one frustrated, honking or trying to cutting lanes. The traffic here, like India is varied (except the autos, cycle rikshaws and animals) with bikes, to cars, to buses and really huge trucks but every one follows the light and road discipline.

Thankfully, the stint in the West changed the perspective and style of driving. If we start changing one at a time, I guess we can have some sense prevailing on our roads.

Are we seriously expecting the cops to take any action? I strongly feel they wont. They will focus more on other more important cases like thefts, murders and what not but wont bother about this guy unless his reckless driving kills some unfortunate soul and then you will get a statement from them in the newspapers saying "he has been involved in rash driving in the past as well and we are looking out for him. We will nab him soon". Why the hell cant they take an action in the first instance itself is something beyond comprehension for me

Whoa man! Cool down. Not taking any sides with cops, but having had a chance to see their (cops) pitiable state, have become a bit more tolerant.

I was also ranting once in similar fashion to my friend, when he quietly interrupted and told me about his relative who is a traffic cop. Their work days many often extend up to 16 hours and god help them if some VIP or big shot is visiting the town. All leaves cancelled, and they have to stand in the bloody roads whether it is raining or in the peak of summer. They get on an average thousands of calls/requests for actions in any day and like anybody, they will have to prioritize. Cases which doesn't involve serious damage or loss of life, comes lower in the totem-pole of priorities. Not saying this is good or justifying this, but this is the ground reality.

We live in stressful times with lots of tight deadlines and people scurrying around like busy bees. Tolerance levels are at low and people can get on hyper mode very very easily.

So what one should do ?
a) Avoid the situation if possible - like the very relevant message about the "garbage man" by sherlocked

B) we cannot control the actions of others - we have control over our reactions.

C) Priority - Don't get into physical fights or altercations. Even recovering from a simple bruise may take some days. End of the day, any damages to the vehicle can be repaired, not so with human body!

Take care!

I am not expecting any action. And honestly what action can they take? If it comes to it, then would the OP himself be willing to go to court to get justice? Because the cops can only arrest and produce in court right, if both parties are unable to reach a solution. My point is that there is not much merit in involving the cops as it is just going to add to your headache and frustration.

Edit: But then may be who knows, if this guy might back off and understands that some people will take the trouble and report such actions to the cops. Ideally he should be arrested under charges of assault.

Not sure whom this is for because you seem to have quoted 2 posts but if its for me, be rest assured am pretty cool and not flared up at all :)

I understand what you are trying to mention in your post and I cent percent agree with you on the pitiable situation of cops. Infact, I have many times reprimanded anyone from my family/friends/relatives who call them names like Mama/Pandu because I hold them in high regards for the work they do. Long working hours, dusty and polluted roads with the risk of also being run over etc are something they have to tolerate on a daily basis not to forget the extra endless duty during some procession based festivals and VIP visits.

Yes I have questioned why they do not take any action initially itself and am fully cognizant of the fact that they have much important/priority things to do but this only stemmed from the fact that such offenders are emboldened because there is no action taken against them and cops stumble on the previous history after they do something serious. Nothing apart from that

Precisely my point

Both quotes came together, though i typed the content differently! multi-quote fiasco in a mobile! :-(

Yep. Glad to see that you appreciate the painful situations of the cops.

Having said that, there are enough cases where cops deliberately gives a person the run-around , which is absolutely not acceptable. This brunt of this is specifically felt by out-of-state folks, who often get a raw deal vis-a-vis a localite.

At the end, driving around in city is having own set of mine-fields - not meaning the pot-holes, et.all, but all sorts of over aggressive and hyper morons who are ready to get into full fledged wars at the drop of a hat!

Speaking of this, this morning while driving to work, there was this tempo guy driving in the wrong lane that too while talking on his cell phone right in front of the cop, so close that he might have actually run over her foot, but what did she do? Nothing. Reasons -

1. maybe she knows she wont get anything out of the tempo guy and was more focussed in catching a fish where she could get some actual flesh from
2. Probably she wanted to avoid an argument early in the morning
3. Maybe she knew that the tempo belonged to some local biggie

Who knows what the reason was but there were plenty of people at that junction watching this and am sure that many of them will surely attempt this sometime soon disregarding the law completely

Road rage on the rise - Kerala tops the list!

Link

Something so awkward happened this weekend, and I had a difficult time controlling my anger, but somehow I did. The bile rose to my throat and I was actually shaking in rage.

I am at the PTS red light (South Delhi) --- going towards GGN. There is a "one" car gap in front of me, but to the right a Honda City is slightly "off to the left" in his respective lane. I can squeeze into the one car gap, but find it risky so remain still. I do not want to scrape the back fender of the Honda City. Maybe I could squeeze in safely, but it is just a red light, right..? The whole swarm is absolutely standstill due to the obvious red light.

I see this in my rear-view mirror.
A bike comes behind me. Rider is wearing no helmet. The pillion is wearing a helmet, reaches around the primary driver and start to press the horn on the handle bar. He continues to do so for around 50-55 seconds. Continuous. Non-stop. The primary driver is grinning into the rear view. Everyone is staring at me. Finally the biker takes a left around, and crosses me -- the helmeted pillion is glaring into the car. What the heck was this supposed to be. Was it some sort of fun or enjoyment or pure harassment. What would the bike have gained by me going forward by a "one car" length..?

You know what I wanted to do:
1. Open my car door full strength when the bike crossed and bash the bike down. I had no care what would happen to my front door. I wanted to use it as a tool of force and aggression. I just wanted to.

or

2. Get out and full slap the helmeted pillion so the added weight of the helmet on his neck would hurt him bad, maybe even seriously injure him.

I let it pass, and continued on --- seething. Just seething. I later on parked to the side, sipped some cold water and then drove onto GGN. It took almost 10-12 minutes for the rage to cool down. Gosh. I just thanked God, that the time bomb did not go off in my head, and I lost control of my faculties. Thank, God.

I think this is more about cases which got reported. I feel Blore and Pune have a lot more road rage which in many cases doesnt even make to the police station unless its really very serious. Just my thought, I could be wrong though

I believe this is the best thing you can do when you are shaking with anger.

I follow the same thing while crossing a railway track near my home. I just allow all our VIP's to pass through and then move ahead. This keeps my temper in check and also keeps me away from obnoxious bills from Chevrolet.

During my early riding/driving days, I had exactly the same issues mentioned in this thread with ego, temper and young age taking control of the steering/handle. Cutting lanes, screaming at other road users where more common than Kejriwal's attack on Modi and it never changed until I moved out of the country. A few years in Europe changed my perception about roads, cars, motorcycles and their usage.

After coming back into the country, team-bhp has kept me on a saner side and a frequent visit to these threads (including the accident pics) just reminds me of my old shameful behaviour; keeping me well away from it.

Now, after all these years, my priorities are well set.

1. 1 My families safety is the first thing on my mind. I have a toddler in the car most of the times and my wife uses the rear seat with seat belts.
2. 2 Try my best to keep my car and motorcycle out of harms way. If someone cuts across lane, I do brake hard but a quick glance at my wifey or son cools me down immediately.