[silverstreakcbe]

Originally Posted by aravindb_0711

Hey bhpians!

I have an almost impossible dream of getting into an IIT and developing a career as a race engineer in motorsports. But taking this option may as well render me jobless in the future.

Doctors, engineers and college students who are part of this community, help me decide my career and improve myself to perform well in the future!

My inputs for you

Passion and profession are two different things. If you land up your passion as profession, then consider you are lucky.

Till then:

1. Take one step at a time, be the best in what are having in hand.
2. Dont think too far.
3. Keep realistic goals, that you know you will definitely can do.
4. Keep some time to yourself (be it meditation, or simply sitting) without any thoughts.
5. Be thankful and wish yourself good luck.

[S2K]

I was in the exact same position exactly a decade ago from now.
High scorer in school, aspiring to go into nanotech research that would cover everything from microprocessors to germ fighting bots in your blood stream, as lazy as one could be and on top of that, with the burden of lots of expectations from family and the near and dear ones.

Things didn't exactly turn out to be the way they were supposed to. But I think I can pen down a few points that might help you.

• If your family's financial background is favourable, don't think about money at all till you hit your 20s. And don't think about money seriously till you hit your late twenties. Money has a blinding force, that hides everything else and often will lead you to take decisions you shouldn't have taken otherwise.
• Don't think about what you are going to enjoy for the rest of your life. The way I see it, my field of work is something I am very much interested in and yet there are days when I won't have slightest of the motivation to work. And then there are periods of time when I can work 25 hours a day too! It always keeps on oscillating. And therefore it entails that you do something that doesn't make you miserable even on your worst days so that you can have fun at work on your best days.
• Work is just a part of your life. Looking at it practically, its just something that takes up your time. But you don't spend all your time working either. You need your own time, time with your family, with your friends, with your girlfriend, with the band that you are part of, with the trekking group you go on hikes with and others. So work alone does not define your life. It seldom does. All these other things define your life and you work just facilitates it by paying you so that you can spend rest of your time in comfort and luxury. And hence, it emphasises the earlier point. Work on something that doesn't make you miserable. And you'll work on it all life long.
• Don't be overwhelmed by the Jobs, Gatess, Zuckerbergs and now even the Bansals and Agarwals of the world. Those people found their calling, their passion and their motivation at the right time and put it to great use to make big name and big bucks. But it is not necessary that if Zuckerberg started FB at 19, you too should be doing something like that when 19 and not doing it doesn't make one a failure either. It was their drive, their hardwork and above all, it was also a lot about their placement and timing that helped them out to get here. Your time, place and calling might be different than them and you just have to ready when it shows up.
• Don't be bogged down by the burden of expectations. Parents, relatives, friends everyone will say things and expect you to do good. Especially if you have maintained good track record in your school days, the expectations, and the burden thereby, to keep doing good through the college years increases exponentially. You'll even be weighed down by your own expectations. You just have to be at peace with the fact that you can fail at things and not fulfil everyone's expectations. You might not even fulfil your own expectations. And its all fine.
• Its always good to work hard and have options in life about various things than to focus on just a single and run after it. Especially, when it comes to this stage of education/career, this applies more than ever, but even otherwise. Your hard work will definitely pay off, eventually if not immediately.

I also came across an article a while back which, I believe, very rightly claimed that finding passion is very much overrated. You haven't seen most things in the world. You don't know why most things happen and how. With the small amount of things that people around you and the internet and television project with little details if any, how can you even say that something is your passion and your true calling. What if you decide you are passionate about one thing and suddenly you discover something entirely new and exciting and feel even more passionately about it?
The author of the article advised instead to make sure you prepare yourself for all these opportunities and till you find one, just explore. When you find that one thing, you'll know. Maybe, this is how what one should do.

In the end, I'll just say that everything in life will have its ups and downs. Nobody knows what is going to happen in future and fretting too much over it is going take away the joy of the life that you have now. So keep working at it. If you don't find something that makes you happy, find something that doesn't make you miserable. You will eventually figure out things.

Good luck

[SnS_12]

As SS-Traveller said at this age we all had these fluctuating thoughts on the career plan and I too just like you wanted to do Mechanical Engineering primarily because of my interest in automobiles and secondly coming from a mallu family all the elders would make you believe that if you're not an engineer or a doctor you won't be successful in life. They were right to a certain extend as back in the late 90's when we were in our last year of school we really didn't have that many career options in India apart from these or maybe this all we were exposed too.

So just like my cousins I knew I had to take up science at college but unlike my cousins I was never good at academics and my father being a teacher specializing in Physics/Chemistry and Maths really disturbed me mentally back then looking at my poor grades. But my father knew that I am not going to have a future if I take up science and all the scoring pressure will just get onto me and let me chose commerce instead something no one had done in my immediate family back then.

But as luck or destiny would have it I started working at the age of 19 in insurance field (thanks to my dad again) and completed by graduation through distance education and today I earn as much as my cousins if not more without a fancy degree, which enlightened me and others in my family that there was more to life career wise then being an engineer or a doctor.

Speak to your parents or an uncle/aunt with whom your close too and comfortable with and take their guidance on what to do next. See if that 75% being an engineer or 25% thought of becoming a doctor will ultimately become 100% once you commit to it or there is an other alternate destined for you to do/achieve in life.

[@og_adi]

Hey pal,

I think we're pretty much on the same boat here except for the fact that my head went through these weird thoughts a few months ago. It was hard for me and I expect it to be the same for you too, but trust me, it shall pass. Will you get the answer you're looking for? Maybe. I didn't get mine, but I at least found some real peace of mind after quite sometime. Let me share a few things that worked for me-
(In no means I would want to say this way of living is right, but at least think I've relaxed those overthinking brain cells to some point. I really want all BHPians reading this to correct me if I'm missing something.)

1) Live in today man, its the most wonderful thing that'll help hold your moods high. Live chasing for tiny beautiful moments you'll experience as you keep moving ahead. Set your targets for the day and as long as you accomplish them, you can have all the spare time for yourself. Don't think about tomorrow just yet, coz it's quite some time away. I have to complete the first exercise in Definite Integrals by today and I will. If I don't, then it is something I should be worried about.

2) If marks are the only things you see right in front of you now, you'll only keep chasing them coz it really knows how to play with one's head. The day you forget about all the other things haunting your valuable time and headspace, you'll really love studying, and the day you start studying for yourself, your ranks will ascend.

3) Stop living in guilt. (If at all you are). Almost the whole of my 11th, I knew I was wasting time, and I stopped enjoying watching or doing anything coz I was aware of my responsibilities but kept procrastinating. Trust me, you'll stop enjoying whatever you do when you're a victim of guilt. A slightest start to your work at that moment will boost your morale.

4) Since your post shows the probability of you competing in NEET too, I'm assuming you are a PCMB student. If that's the case, you're good for now buddy. You still have open doors to make your choice between engineering and medicine. All you have to do now is work for today.

5) Have the right amount of fun. Do the things you love to in that free time you make out of your schedule. I realize it's better put on page than in reality coz I waste all my free time lazing on the couch. But hey, I enjoy it as I get the time to read all those new threads on BHP (Wohoo!)and hence works for me as relaxation. Seek refuge in some real pleasant music, it helps!

Ok, I realize I'm your age and it is wrong to go on and on, but yes, these are somethings that kept me sailing in optimism and have led to an increase in my scores. Honestly, this is just a weird phase in life where the heart's decisions preside over the head's but one has to try to keep his/her head in the right direction at the same time. I still don't know what I want to become and this may seem to many as being an aimless kid, but I've decided to give my best in the subjects I picked and will figure out later what field life has to pick. As most BHPians have assured some real good things waiting to happen in our lives, I think it is best to keep moving ahead. Inching towards the end of this post, I wish you all the success and happiness in your life!

Regards,
Aditya

Originally Posted by GTO

2. Don't forget to have fun. Look forward to your driving licence, date some wonderful gals, party hard, take holidays with your parents etc. It's these memories that make a special life.

This point made me go bonkers about it , but I now really hope my dad doesn't read my post thanks to this line.

[Lowflyer23]

Relax bud, as a 20 year old I can clearly assure you what you're experiencing at the age of 16 is very normal and has happened to me too. Don't stress on things too much, many believe that everybody's career decisions start soon after high school but it's not so. Heck, I'm entering third year of engineering and a load bunch of my classmates are still clueless about what they want to actually do, including me. Enjoy your time, work hard and party harder.

As GTO sir said, if you can't decide about your career choices even later on, then take a course with a vast field of opportunities. I myself am not doing engineering in computer science just because of interest towards coding (what the majority of crowd is after). I'm doing computer science engineering because I'm interested in several upcoming technologies and I aspire to launch my own startup. Even having polar opposite interests to your educational field is fine, a friend of mine barely has any interest and just passes the exams somehow. He is a photography freelancer and earns more than even some of our senior professors, another guy is into digital drawings. We have great singers, public speakers and dancers too and in the end your happiness with work is what matters the most.

Don't listen to what the pados waali aunties or the other members of society say, they'll nowhere to be seen when you are doing well in life. Their kids somehow disappear when you start doing well and are happy for yourself. I wish you all the best for your future endeavours.

[AZT]

You're 16 bro, chill and relax. I would give you the same advice I'd give my younger brother - At this age you will change your mind on what you like and dislike so be open to everything. Even career is something you may change after your under grad degree, it's pretty common and you should be open to change.
Below are the important things never to lose track of:

1. Build social skills. These get tougher as you age and always go a long way in life. This means talking to the opposite sex and also having an equally tight group of guy friends.

2. Since you mentioned lazy I'm guessing there's also less physical activity. Again, this is something which gets tougher to improve on as you age. Your Testosterone levels will peak till mid 20s so best to start some workout / Swimming / Running in your daily routine. Being fit is the easiest way to be attractive, this and dressing well should be bare minimums.

One more reason for laziness could be diet: The most classic items are cheap carbs: pizza, ramen noodles, lots of rice, candy bars, fast food etc. Your body is able to consume these items and see no major impact (when you’re young) This leads to the belief that food is just a way to get rid of the “hunger” feeling - Completely wrong.
Just look at the experiments run on people who eat fast food consistently, they break down. Taking your diet seriously should begin as soon as you are living alone.

3. Start some reading: Quality is the word here and not quantity. We have some good threads here on that as well. Start with good fiction to build the habit and then move to non fiction. Don't over do this though, always balance everything.

4. Money : Keep a track of this goal as well. If you want to move abroad start running those numbers now. If you want to enter a field, find a mentor or alumni or anyone in the field who can guide you. Successful people attract other successful people so knowing even one person can get you some openings in companies which you think are beyond reach. Focusing on a good college is key but having a good network outside is equally important.

5. Understand momentum: Winners continue to win, and winning builds structural advantages. This is also true for negative spirals. Mental toughness helps here.

Bonus: Start cold showers and meditation. Not prayer but this is more calming your mind and focusing your thoughts.

[AKSarkar1]

Firstly feeling all of this is normal, in fact, kudos to you for voicing it out on our forum instead of keeping it bottled up within.

Your story reminds me of myself in many different ways. My career choices too have oscillated all over the place from dreaming of being a pilot to a mech engineer. Long story short, as you learn more about yourself your preferences change. I have seldom met people who have been deadset in their career choices right from their teenage days. I still love cars as much as I did when I was a teenager but as a profession, I work for the Indian government.

I think our fellow BHPians have given you most of the advice regarding career choices that I needn't repeat. Instead, I would have the following pieces of advice for you:

1) Slow down: I will repeat again, this is normal. Sit back, reflect and think. Make a list of the pros and cons of each decision and discuss it with the important people in your life. I understand these decisions are important but don't burn yourself out overthinking and excessively stressing.

2) Passion: You can have various different passions but that doesn't mean that you will have to make a career out of all of them. I know many doctors who have a passion for their work and an equal passion for cars. One of my Dr friends has a black-on-black-on-black Jaguar XJ. People can never believe that such a slick car is driven by a doctor as it isn't exactly conventional. So you can have numerous passions but as a career only pursue one of them- that is fine!


In the end, it will all work out so don't stress! I hope this helped you somehow. Wishing you all the very best in your future endeavors!

[PrasannaDhana]

Originally Posted by aravindb_0711

Doctors, engineers and college students who are part of this community, help me decide my career and improve myself to perform well in the future!

Hey Aravind,

Congratulations for having the clarity you have at this young age.

When I was 16, I was drooling over Hero Honda CBZ and Mitsubishi Lancer without much thought going into my future.

As a 34 year old with some life experience, my advise to you is this - Relax, Slow down

Yes! You don't have to have it figured out at 16 or 20 or even 30. Life is mysterious and not everything has to go by a plan.

You are 16 and you need to grow.

Grow physically - you have 3 more years of physical growth, and it is the perfect time for you to strengthen your bones, joints, increase your natural testosterone production and lean body mass through physical exertion. Its the time to build healthy habits that will stick with you for a lifetime.

Grow socially - Focus on making more friends, relish your existing friends. Learn from them. Improve your skills of observation. Grow outside the mould your family had set for you. Make friends regardless of age, colour, economic status, religion and caste. Learn to be that gentle and kind guy in social media.

Grow emotionally - A lot of us have had bad and hard lessons before we learnt to be emotionally stable. Patience is a virtue, being level headed while facing adversities is something everyone needs to have. Look forward to fail more, to mess up more, to royally suck at some stuff and yet be unashamed about it.

Grow intellectually- Read! Read a lot of books. Listen to podcasts, observe everyone around you. You need to practice learning from your own mistakes, but also from the mistakes of others as well.

Be financially literate - Learn to budget and learn to save. If you can practice delayed gratification, you might be able to achieve your materialistic goals much sooner than others.

An important quality one needs to have is to be unmoved by opinions of others. Be it coming through a failure or enjoying a success, turn deaf to negative criticism as well as to praises. Neither helps you. Never compare your life with others.

Be grateful to everyone, - your parents for the life they have gifted you, your friends for being what they are, your siblings and relatives, your teachers, your peers, the nature and it goes on. Being grateful makes one realize how blessed we are to live the life we have. So what ever college you get into, be grateful for the opportunity and make full use of it.

Regarding what you are going to do in the future, it is good you can plan a layout through which you wish to progress. But when you don't meet some of your goals or when life takes you through a different path (90% of the times, it does), don't lose faith in yourself.

Be patient, identify your role currently and make sure you do the best of your capacity in that role. Whatever you do, do it whole heartedly. Don't aim at getting into IIT for the money or because people would think high of you. Do it only if you WANT to do it.

Keep doing what makes you happy. Don't worry about what others might say or think. Honestly, everyone is immersed so deeply in worrying about what others think about them, and hence no one thinks about you or me.

You have a lot of time. If you mess up, keep your heads up, take the lessons from the mess and keep moving on.

I strongly suggest you to follow Gary Vaynerchuk on Instagram. He posts amazing content for all age groups. You might have a totally different perspective towards life after you listen to him.

You don't have to be a doctor or an engineer or a lawyer or a professional to make a difference. You need to be compassionate, kind, patient and love what you do, whatever it might be.

All the best!

[pavanmadhini]

Lots of great advice here, but I have a specific point to make:

DON'T go for MBBS unless you are a 110% sure about wanting to be in the medical sciences space. The following are my reasons:

1. It has a long gestational period nowadays. Might take a decade or more before you are earning decent money, and the path there is also unforgiving.
2. Shifting into another field is much harder. While there are exceptions, I hardly know any MBBS grad who later went into another field or became an entrepreneur.

On the other hand, an engineering degree is not as rigid - I've seen engineers go into finance, PE, shift their core fields, become entrepreneurs and whatnot.

So basically, if you're not sure, Engineering is the better choice.

[jithin23]

Hey, it's a good thing to find out about what you want but at this stage, all of us would be very wavery minded. My sister is almost the same age as yours and I told her to do what she feels she's good at. In her case it was statistics. In your case it might be different.

Don't worry about what course is trending, see what you really like. I had flunked one year in college due to an accident and that one year gave me a lot of time to think, retrospect and if you've chosen something, finish it no matter and once you accomplish it, that's a feeling which can't be expressed. I did that and today I'm doing well, although I'm not working for what I'm passionate about and I'm sure I'll reach there someday!

I'd say travel far off for a week or two with a limited budget and you'll get to interact and observe a lot of things and sometimes you might figure out what you exactly want to do. This will help you build soft skills such as communication and confidence which a very few colleges teach. I believe that learning happens outside the classroom and your comfort zone.

All the best!

[meetbhav]

Hey!

First things first, welcome to the forum.

I am no older to you (I'm 21) and the seniors on the forum have already mentioned a lot about life for you. Let me pitch in a little of what I know.

So back in the day (doesn't seem like a long time ago), after I completed my 10th standard (with the 'bas 10th krlo uske baad to maaze hi mazze hai), I had the hardest time in my 11th standard (I had opted for science). Though it was a hard time for me, it also taught me a lot about the importance of studying and most importantly the benefit of studying on time and maintaining your schedule.

Fast forward to post 12th standard board exams, I had filled in almost 10-12 applications for different colleges and institutes, ranging from doing a BBA course at IIM Indore to being a commercial pilot. I failed to get in most of them, but I final got in SRM Chennai for B. Tech in automobile engineering. Having thought that I got what I wanted, life had something else for me.

So in typical fashion I had my train for Chennai but I decided to wait and delayed my joining by a week and to my surprise, I got selected for a maritime institute and now I'm in my third year of training.

Guess life has its own way.

Best of luck and have faith in yourself.

[brohanv]

Firstly and perhaps most importantly, I am no expert at this, I have not been pursuing my chosen path for long enough to know whether it comes together at some point. Point being, I am completely unqualified to say any of this, but I feel empathetic to your situation and thus here are my two cents.

While many posts here are from men that have achieved immense success, let me tell you something, they're not experts either. Not to take away from their competence and achievements. But each man's journey is his own and uncertainty is a huge part of it. What worked out for them might not work out for you. Further your individuality and beliefs, that should be your priority.

My submission to you is this, the only way you'll see your life materialising is by taking your own journey and faltering. It's an incredible privilege to have so many people weigh in on your dilemma, but my point is the uncertainty is a big part of the process and something all of us experience, even household names I'm certain. At 16, my biggest problem was getting lost in a massive sea of advice and losing sight of who I am and what I would love to do with my life. Ended up with no social life, an IIT coaching that was basically the centre of existence (not to mention, I was failing at it, miserably). I had no acumen for it and didn't realise that a passion for automobiles wouldn't make a capable science student by default.

The lockdown has probably worsened your sense of being lost and directionless. The feeling of uncertainty is also greatly amplified for many of us. If I was in your situation here's what I'd do:


1. Know that, with the pandemic and all things arising from it, I'm probably not at my best or smartest or most productive. WHICH IS OKAY.

2. Even with matters of the heart, things your passionate about, this is one of those things where you have to let the head have the last word. Consider emotional value and passion but be objective about it. Be objective with what you're good at and what you aren't. Be realistic, but remember to stop before self deprecation or guilt.

3. Take your time, find your voice, figure out who you are and what makes you happy.

4. Put on blinders, focus on yourself, go for a run, explore your body and mind, BUT don't get lost in a sea of advice.

This is your journey, own it, it gets clearer.

[VW2010]

You read all motivational posts and advices. Let me keep it hard and practical. At 16 you follow friends or a girl. Your decision is based on this, and them. Your parent's advices are based on their 16 and what they would change to catch a financial train. Then there is us,who honestly will not shed a tear if you end up being a bum, but will happily throw enough ideas and ideologies. The same ideas and ideologies we wont even dare to talk to our own kids many a times.

95% of folks here make money on things that they hate everyday and would be ready to throw that and walk away, provided their financial security is set for life. 5% are just lucky that what they chose they ended up liking it. The same 95% have used that financially stability to pick up a hobby and enjoy it with passion.

My advice, which is another free gyan to anyone but my kids or closest family or friends is, your parents will make more sense than anyone in this world, your teachers will know way better than random strangers and your friend and girl friend(s) will motivate you better than any books or websites. Listen to them.

Usually this sense of, "I don't know what to do" happens when everything you ever wanted was always available at your flick of fingers. Nothing wrong with that. Without hard work even the passionate life you want to chose will look boring, stressful and financial useless.

Dream is only good when you work hard and make it a reality. There is no substitute to working hard and making an effort.

Pick up your slack and avoid finding excuses.

Leave you with Dr Kalams quote - "Excellence happens not by accident. It is a process"

[AutoConsultant]

Originally Posted by aravindb_0711

Hey bhpians!
I'm a sixteen year old just entering into 12th grade. I would love to hear some advice from some professionals about the following:

Just the fact that you have written this post tells me that you are serious about your life choices. First of all, I feel 99% of Indians are in the same confused state that you are in right now at this point.

Coming to the choices, I feel you get into medical field only if you have genuine passion for the same as it requires a lot of hard work for a longer period of time. Also, once you enter this field, it narrows down your exit or career switch options.

An engineering degree gives you more flexibility. In 2010 I was also like you, passionate for automobiles. I preferred Automobile Engg (a relatively new branch at that time) compared to IT or Software in my undergrad college DTU. At the end of 4 years, here was the harsh reality :

1. Only about 10% students got a job in thier core field - handful of auto companies come for placement, mostly for Manufacturing plant jobs. Very handful offer an R&D profile. You really need to build a strong profile (projects, research papers etc) to land those

2. Most of the junta goes to a back-end consulting or data analytics profile. That's the harsh reality, especially for non-IT/software branches

3. Auto/mech companies pay the lowest - 6 lacs per annum was a respectable offer for mech students as compared to 10-12 lacs for computer/IT students

Luckily, I did get into an auto firm, Tata Motors but it was a service engineer profile to look after a state govt's public transport buses fleet. There was neither money not interesting work. I did consider going for MS and gave GRE also but didn't want to leave the country so went for an MBA.

Moral of the story is you will figure out what you want as you go along this journey. A B.Tech degree in this country gives you a lot of flexibility to switch careers in the future and for core research a Master's in Science post grad course could be your best bet.

For exam prep, especially in this pandemic ridden world, I would suggest you keep giving mock tests for your entrance exams and try to keep improving your scores.

[PrasannaDhana]

Originally Posted by VW2010

your parents will make more sense than anyone in this world, your teachers will know way better than random strangers and your friend and girl friend(s) will motivate you better than any books or websites. Listen to them.

Ha! Don't take away the credit from reading good books Vivek ji.

People, unfortunately can be both a positive or a negative influence on an individual. Books, for that matter, seldom influence an individual negatively, unless you immerse yourselves in Chetan Bhagat like stuff.

Parents' advise, ok. But girlfriend's and friends', not so much.