[shikha_roy]

Many of you must be wondering why are there no travel blogs from me for quite a some time. The last one being my solo drive from Bangalore to Kerala in Dec 2022, after which I went silent. Well, I had couple of travels scheduled last year: two solo cross-country drives to North India & Western India, an international trip with friends and some plans of overland expedition - but then life took a beautiful turn and everything else became secondary.

The below article was never written with an intention to publish on any public forum. It was my personal diary entry, where I was documenting every detail, small or big of our first journey to parenthood. It was few months back when my husband Amitra (tbhp handle: livetodrive) read this and suggested me to share our experience with the world. Some details might be useful to people who are in this journey or are planning in future. This might not be a typical blog, with no structured story telling at many places, but just wanted to keep it as simple as possible, just the way it happened and what we felt at those moments. Few years down the line when we read this again, it is sure to bring back lot of memories and a smile on our faces.


10th June 2023, Saturday – There was a birthday party at one of our friend’s. We ordered Bengali Chicken Biryani, Chicken Chaap, Firni and Shahi tukda. Had a nice Sunday afternoon get together over food, cake cutting, ending with Tea and returned late evening.
The same night from 2.30am, my stomach went upset and I started feeling weak and giddy. Unable to understand what to do, hubby gave me a dose of Gasovic, to stop the throwing up and diarrhea. It did help to some extent. I could sleep after 5am, but next day woke up with severe constipation. Hubby had to travel to Kolkata in next 2 days and we assumed that the episode will get better in a day or two with light homemade food, a bit rest and drinking lots of water. He left on Tuesday, but my health didn’t get any better. Over the next 1 week, I was constantly constipated, and midnight cramps were getting regular, and laxatives turned futile. I had no energy left to even visit a doctor. Went to a pharmacy across the road and got some over the counter meds which gave temporary relief. However, situation was back to square one soon. What was even more surprising that I have been a foodie all my life and can survive on junk food but I have never had such prolonged suffering. But this time I was desperately waiting for him to return to take me to a doc. I could book an Uber but had absolutely no strength to get ready and even walk up to the elevator.

22nd June, Monday - Visited a Gastro who guessed it to be a bacterial infection and suggested an X-ray with some blood tests and prescribed some tablets for immediate relief.
However, I also mentioned to her that I was expecting my periods in second week of June but have missed it this month. She immediately asked if I have done a UPT (Urine Pregnancy Test) - a test taken at home to check if you are pregnant. I convinced the doctor that we have been married for 12+yrs and have tried for many years but couldn’t conceive. We also tried couple of fertility treatments few years back but even they were unsuccessful, so it's unlikely that things will turn in our favor ‘just like that’. I tried hard to convince the doctor that its due to the bacterial infection that I missed my periods. But doctor laughed her heart out (hearing my medical expertise) and was adamant that I get the UPT done, and if its unsuccessful only then will she proceed with X-ray. Though I had started the tablets the same night, hubby picked up the Pregnancy Test Kit on his way back home from office. I was still unwell and decided to take the test next morning as prescribed on the kit.

23rd June, Tuesday – Hubby had his VISA interview scheduled at 12pm for his upcoming France vacation in August. He was supposed to leave home at 9.30am but had an important meeting from 8.00am. While he was in the meeting, I thought of taking the test, more out of formality considering I already knew the results. In my mind, once am done with the test, I can book an appointment with Gastro the same evening for the Xray and start the proper medication. But guess what the results showed. Positive!!

I waited for him to finish his meeting. Around 9.15am he came out of the study and was rushing to get ready when I showed him the result. We both went blank and started looking at each other confused, happy and shocked. We started laughing saying that I have just crossed 40 and he is heading 47 in next couple of months. How are we ever going to manage a kid at this age!!! However, he left for his VISA interview, and I was working from home that day. Only I knew what and how much I worked that day, with multiple thoughts crossing my mind throughout the day – is this for real, how is this possible, what if its false positive, will I have to stop all my drives and all the freedom I had all these years, we both will be in our 60s when our kid is still finishing college. I lost count of all the thoughts that crossed my mind that day.
In evening, asked hubby to pick up another kit on his way back but this time of a different make. (what if the previous brand is rigged and shows positive always , crazy thoughts I know). He returned home around 5pm with a bouquet of roses, cakes and a Kit. Immediately took the test again and the result was positive once again.

24th June, Saturday – Booked an appointment with Dr. Kavitha Kovi at Aster Women and Children Whitefield for 12.30pm. Patiently waited for our turn, or should I say impatiently. The doctor is a charmer, with her inviting smile and the warmth she exudes from the instance you enter her room. Informed her of the sequence of events since 10th June and how even with all the medications and light diet and lots of water, my constipation is still not completely recovered, also of the kit result.
The doctor congratulated us saying all these are positive symptoms, and she is glad am getting these symptoms. She immediately put me on Folic Acid and suggested First Pregnancy Scan the next Saturday, 1st July. The same evening I made a video call to my parents and brother and informed them about their promotion. I could see Ma going silent, disbelief written all over her face, Baba having a content smile and my brother as usual restless over video call (he HATES video calls for some reason) but I could still sense his excitement. We could feel the happiness and the blessings in everyone’s eyes.

1st July, Saturday - The past 1 week has been the longest week in our lives. We both were so restless and confused and happy and impatient the most. Reached the hospital by 12 noon and waited for around 40 mins. Many expecting women were around for scan, who were in different phases of their pregnancy and the very thought of I am being one among them was overwhelming. Finally, I was called in for the scan. Radiologist shows me a small lump of flesh, the size of a pebble and said ‘That’s your baby’!!! I could also hear a duk-duk-duk-duk sound, which was the heartbeat God, how fast their hearts beat. She confirmed I am 7 weeks and 3 days pregnant, and the heartbeat is perfectly normal. She asked me to wait outside while she prepares the report before I consult the doctor. Everything happened so soon that I was still settling in when I came out of the room. Amitra had this confused look on his face, waiting for me to speak. And I was so overwhelmed that words were struggling to come out. Took me some 10-12 mins to speak. I told him what I saw in the scan, and the first thing he did was frown… Haha.. His first reaction was ‘Aami sunte parbo na heartbeat?’ (Will I not get a chance to hear the heartbeat). Yes, those were his first words.

Another 15-20 mins of wait when we finally met the Gynae. She congratulated once again saying all reports are normal and that she would not put me on medicines right now except Folic Acid. The Expected Delivery Date is 14th Feb 2024 . Another Aquarius in family after Dad and Bro, I thought. Doctor also suggested a series of mandatory blood tests (Thyroid, HIV, HCV,HBV) and asked me to share the reports over Whatsapp. I asked the doctor if he could be allowed in the scan room, which doctor said they don’t allow husbands on first scan but they will on the second one. She also emphasized that these initial 1-2 scans are very critical and gave me a date of 3rd August for my next scan.

So, I gave my blood sample and left for the day. We decided to have a good lunch that day, so headed to Forum Shantiniketan mall just next to the hospital. Enjoyed a lovely lunch at Salt Restaurant, with Butter Naan, Railway Mutton Curry, Jeera Rice and Chilli Chicken. We were strolling around the mall post lunch when Amitra insisted he wants to gift me something on this memorable day. He knows I am one of those rare breeds who always says NO to gifts. But that day, I didn’t resist much. Finally, we went to Tanishq, and after researching necklace to finger ring to bracelet, I settled in for a bangle.

The same night, we called up our In Laws and informed them of the news. Amitra wanted to wait till at least the first scan before revealing at home. My MIL started chocking on hearing the news and FIL went absolutely silent. MIL kept insisting him to take care of me, not to allow me to lift heavy things, not to leave me alone if he is travelling anywhere. But she repeated one statement multiple times. ‘This is the best news I have heard in last 11 years’. FIL didn’t speak much that day.

The next evening FIL called Amitra again and spoke. He said he couldn’t speak much the previous day on hearing the news, but again advised him to take care of me and how to handle my mood swings during this phase and weight gain issues which will come up slowly and stressed the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

3rd July, Monday - I was supposed to leave for Varanasi this morning. We had a school reunion on 7 July at St. Joseph’s Shaktinagar (180kms away from Varanasi), and I planned to drive down from Bangalore. How many years I have waited to revisit my school. With leaves approved, route decided, bags packed, car serviced, hotels booked – I was all set to leave early morning with stops at Nagpur, Jabalpur and finally Varanasi. With this new development, I had to opt out of the drive at the last minute. Schoolmates kept calling to know what changed at the last minute, no one was willing to believe that I am dropping out of an opportunity to drive on highway, especially when we will walk down the memory lane by going back to our colony, our school where we studied since LKG, our quarters, the hospital we were born, the only café in colony, Indian Coffee House, aka, ICH where we celebrated all our birthdays.. What a memorable trip it would have been. While I was heartbroken on one hand on missing out on the reunion, I was equally excited of the upcoming months and how our lives would change forever.
Ever since my parents had heard this news, they wanted to visit us and spend some time with us. Finally, they arrived on 1st Aug, and spent around 25 days with me. The pampering these days, is at another level. All these years whenever Ma visits us, every morning she wants to cook all her Son-in-law’s favorite dishes. But this time, it was all about daughter’s preference. Son-in-law was second in line for the first time in over a decade. I wanted to do a small victory dance every morning.

3rd Aug, Sunday - First Trimester screening. Gestational age: 12weeks +5days After the initial scan, hubby was also called in to see the scan results. As per rule, no other member is allowed inside the ultrasound room but considering its our first pregnancy, the doctor allowed the husbands to have a quick glance at the scans. Doctor showed us the baby’s spinal cord, the chin, Nose bone, skull and the heart. It's tough to explain those feelings in words, what you feel when looking at the screen. Amitra was blankly looking at the screen, I was smiling and astonished but could realize tears rolling down from the corner of my eyes. The radiologist explained the different images, everything was normal according to her and there is no matter of concern until now.
We came out of the ultrasound room, and my tears were still flowing. Hubby held my hand tight and let my emotions flow. I could see him still numb, words struggling to come out. Couple of minutes later, we sat down and waited for our appointment with the doctor. For a really long time, we both let the silence speak. Both were too overwhelmed by what we saw on screen.
Another 1 hour of wait, and it was time to meet the Gynae. She was happy with the progress and there was nothing to worry at the moment. However, for women who conceive at a later age (beyond 30-35yrs) are suggested to undergo a Non-Invasive Prenatal Testing (NIPT), which helps in early detection of fetus’s possibility of having genetic abnormalities or chromosomal disorders. The tests cost anywhere between 18-25k in India and are a crucial test to detect Down’s syndrome in the fetus.
We underwent the test through the company LifeCell, where the medical representative visited home to collect my blood sample. The report is generated within 8-10 days and was shared over WhatsApp. Consulted the doctor on 25th Aug with report, who confirmed its all Low Risk, hence nothing to worry. The same day I was administered TD IM injection and was put on Calcium and Ecosprin tablets. The calcium tablets would continue until delivery and may be beyond.

[shikha_roy]

With this, we enter the second trimester. I had couple of side effects during the entire first trimester – constipation was the most prolonged one though I never suffered from it before June, along with vomiting, aversion to strong smell (sambhar, fried chicken, sometimes even smell of incense sticks), gastric. Another side effect which I experienced was Varicose veins in my right leg. The nerves behind the knee had swollen up and I had severe pain, resulting in difficulty in walking and even had trouble falling asleep at night. However, with a compression sock as suggested by a neurologist, the situation came under control. Most of the symptoms subsided on their own by the 4th month.

25th September - Anomaly Scan. Gestational age: 20 weeks+2days
The first scan in second trimester: This scan evaluates anatomic structures of the fetus, placenta, and maternal pelvic organs. I had heard stories of women who had to undergo multiple attempts to complete the scan, since the baby would not move and blocks radiologist from taking the measurement of the different body parts of the fetal. I witnessed few women in my previous scan who had to try multiple times to move the baby so that all the body parts could be captured. We were lucky that we could complete the entire process in the first attempt. We could see the skull, hands, leg, nose, chin, spinal cord, 4chamber heart, and all parameters looked perfect as per the radiologist. The fetal weighed 362 gm.

The first glimpse:


Spine:


Hand:


Feet:


However, doctor observed EIF (echogenic intracardiac focus) in the left ventricle. EIF is a small spot in the fetal heart that appear to be as white as bone during an ultrasound examination. EIF appears due to calcium deposit in the heart, and does not cause any long term health problems for the baby.
Also, since the NIPT report was an all Low Risk report, doctor assured us there was nothing to worry for the EIF. This is apparently very common these days, but its exact cause is still unknown. Even after the doctor convincing us so much, we had our doubts. I reached out to a friend’s mom who is a very renowned gynae in UP, only after she confirmed the same were we relieved.

It is around this time that I started feeling my baby’s movements. Typically, you can feel them from 5th month, but they get delayed in some cases which is fine. I still remember the time when I first felt it. It was a weekend afternoon, and we were watching a documentary on ‘Life in NSG’ when suddenly I felt butterflies in my stomach Yes, that’s the initial feeling since the foetus is too small and any movement will give you a tickling feel. I was trying to figure out what just happened when I felt it again. Took me couple of minutes to realize that I experienced one of the most beautiful feelings in the world.

My next consultation with the doctor was in end of Nov, and I had to undergo Glucose Tolerance Test(GTT) around the 25th week of pregnancy. The blood sample is collected in 3 phases – first empty stomach. Then they give you 75Gm of glucose and collect blood sample after 1 hour and 2 hours respectively for the 2nd and 3rd samples. Along with it, they also test RBC, WBC, Platelets. The reports arrived after 4 days, since Urine culture report takes time to generate. Anyone who knows me remotely knows my addiction to sweets. I can eat any number of sweets anytime of the day, any number of times a day. Right from the start of my pregnancy, all my friends have relatives and neighbors have been warning me to limit my sugar intake. I have been hearing stories of Gestational diabetes, and how some women have been suffering from it long after delivery. I was a little worried about my GTT reports, but luckily the reports were absolutely normal.

The second trimester is said to be the safest one in the entire journey of pregnancy. But it does have its own set of challenges. For me, though the initial side effects subsided, my Carpal Tunnel Syndrome relapsed. I got detected with it in my right wrist 4 years back but with regular splint and physio I was doing well all these years. It relapsed really bad and even worse, it affected both my hands. Carpel tunnel happens when the median nerve is compressed which resulted in complete numbness from elbow to the tip of the fingers, especially the thumb, index, middle finger in both hands which started making my day-to-day activity really tough. They say any existing condition in your body gets aggravated during pregnancy, thanks to the multiple hormonal changes in a woman’s body everyday month over month and the increased fluid levels.

Around end of October, I had to undergo another round of blood test for Thyroid, WBC, Total Count, Platelet. Reports appeared normal and the next scan was scheduled for end of Nov.

The last quarter of the year is always the festive season. For past 1 year, we were in discussion with one of the expedition groups, and were planning to join them to Kyrgyzstan in December. Some other day for sure

Just like any other Bong, Durga Pujo is always special to us. Every year, if not travelling to Kolkata, we would go pandal hopping across Bangalore. However, this year I kept it to pandals only around my home. Similarly for Kali Pujo which coincides with Diwali we participated in the celebration within our society. The whole reason of minimizing travel was to avoid using public washrooms, which is a major source of contracting UTI. And UTI in pregnancy is best avoided.

As I wrote above, Amitra had bookings for a vacation in France to meet his sister in mid-August for which the VISA also came through. I also had my bookings done for Mauritius around the same time with a friend. After confirmation of the news, we both dropped our plans. We realized that travel will take a backseat for next few years, so we decided to take a small break soon after Diwali and flew to Goa on a 5-day trip. Well, this was the first time I took a flight to Goa. Haha, seriously! Been to Goa not less than 20 times in last decade or so, but never thought we would NOT be driving someday but flying to Goa..
I always check in Palolem whenever I travel alone, and visit central and North Goa for lunch/ sight seeing. Since this time we didn’t have a car and wanted to avoid long drives in taxis, we decided to stay in Cavelossim.

We checked in Novotel for 5 days and was by far the laziest trip we ever had in Goa - walking around the beach morning and evening, taking a dip in the pool during the day, gorging in some fresh fish and local cuisines in the cafes across the road. I was skeptical to travel in local taxis but luckily one of hubby’s childhood friend was in Goa for work during the same time. He dropped down to our hotel every evening after work and stayed back till late night. This Goa trip would have been too boring if he wasn’t around. We visited Palolem on one of the evenings to witness the sunset followed by a plate of freshly grilled fish and chips. Now the funniest part about the Goa trip. We received multiple messages from friends/relatives (obviously who were not aware of our development), on why they can’t see a single pic of our Jeep. A complete folder with photoshoot of vehicles is mandatory on any trip and here we are.. posting pics of only beach and food and sunset

Our Babymoon in Goa:


2 days after our return from Goa was the next scan.

[shikha_roy]

27November – Ultrasound – Gestational age: 29weeks 2days

The last scan of the year and the first scan of last trimester. The baby’s growth was as expected and all parameters were normal. The fetal weight was around 1.5kg +/- 200 gms.

The last trimester is the toughest phase in pregnancy. You experience steep weight gain, since the baby is now developing muscles. Every woman undergoes different symptoms and side effects. The carpel tunnel was so bad that I was sleepless for nights at a stretch. Brushing my teeth to combing my hair was becoming a challenge. I ended up crying every now and then, feeling immensely helpless. I had no grip in my hands and things kept falling off every now and then. Hubby used to be around all day to pick up those stuff. He lost a lot of belly fat thanks to my carpel tunnel

I had to chop off my long tresses, so that combing becomes a little easy. Hubby had to tear the roti in pieces before I could eat, or mix rice and dal and feed me with spoon. Visited multiple doctors but everyone assured that this will go away soon after delivery. Everyone was hesitant to put me on any strong meds. The only thing which could put me to sleep was administering tablets to treat neuropathic pain, but none of the doctors were willing to prescribe it for long duration. Finally, we met Dr, Ananth specialized in Pain Medicine, Manipal Hospital who offered to inject mild steroids to reduce the swelling in median nerve. He assured that this will be a local treatment and this will not have any effect on the baby. Post confirmation and a green signal from my gynae, I underwent the procedure in both my wrists. We could see the procedure live on the screen, where he was inserting the needle in the wrist and the swelling on median nerve slowing coming down as the medicines were pushed in. I could feel immediate relief within next 24hours, and guess whats the first thing I did. I slept for 5 hours at stretch after many nights.

Though I got some relief, but it was a very short-lived happiness. The pain, numbness and stiffness in fingers were back within 3 weeks.

Coming back to what all to expect in third trimester, every woman’s body is different and so are the side effects. For me personally, along with Carpel tunnel, another thing which gave me sleepless nights till the last day was intensive itching – right from the scalp to under my feet, every inch of my body was scratching day in and out. It started around mid Dec and continued till the last day. Any amount of moisturizer, glycerine or oil didn’t help. Once again, all doctors said that this will go away soon after delivery and there is no cure for this.
However, after multiple trial and error, I realised Lacto Calamine gave me a very temporary relief for 1-2 hours after every application. I don’t know how many bottes of it I would have finished since Dec until delivery.

6th Jan, Saturday - The last growth scan at the beginning of 9th month. Once again, with blessings of all elders, the reports were perfect. Baby’s growth, heartbeat and all parameters were perfect and it weighed around 2.5kg +/- 300gm.

With this, it was end of all scans. What remained was only regular consultation every 10-15 days with the gynae, as and when she recommended. The last consultation was on 27th Jan, the date we completed 38weeks, which also means a Full Term pregnancy. After check up and internal examination, doctor confimed that we can proceed with delivery on 1st Feb. Over the previous months, doctor had already appraised us of a possibility of a C section, considering my age and the late pregnancy in marriage.

Right from the beginning we made it a point to keep our doctor’s advice /recommendations on priority over anybody else. There are bound to be varied inputs on every topic from parents/in laws/ friends/ relatives etc. However, we blindly followed our gynae in any such cases. Sometimes you need to take decisions which might not be to everyone’s liking, but it's of utmost importance to trust your doctor blindly in such cases.

Oh btw in between all this we decided to watch Sam Bahadur in PVR in first week of Dec. Though I completely enjoyed the movie, I guess the little one inside me was too excited or too disturbed with all the noise of missiles and war scenes. I could feel non stop kicks and punches every time there is a war scene or loud bombing / firing happening on screen.
Even before this on multiple occasions, I observed that the baby moves more than usual whenever I am in a noisy place (mall/friends gathering/restaurant with loud music). Either he/she wants to be a part of the celebration or is a peace loving person. Only time will tell

31st Jan 2024, Wednesday - And finally the D Day arrived. I finished an early dinner at home and went for admission. Though doctor had prepared us for c-section, she still wanted to give a last try for normal delivery. She suggested to try inducing labor for approx. 12 hours, and if that fails, we proceed with C-section without any further delay.

Post the admission procedure, I was induced around 10pm for the first time, followed by second trial at 4am. After the first induction, I experienced mild contractions but after the second induction the contractions were more intense.
As decided, we waited till 9am, and during the doctor’s visit around 9.15 am, she asked the staff to prepare me to be taken to OT. After doctor’s instructions, the nurse came to my room and informed that I will be taken to OT around 10.30-10.45.. Accordingly, we informed our friends and my parents to reach hospital by 12 or even late, considering I will be under observation for 2-3 hrs post delivery.
Suddenly at 9.30am the nurses came over and they all seemed in great hurry. They asked me to sign the declaration and soon after started preparing me for the surgery. When enquired they said they are taking me to OT in next 10 mins. Before we could understand the what’s and the how’s, the next thing I know is I am being wheeled into OT. Hubby was also asked to wear the full body kit and allowed inside OT to witness the surgery.

The C-section is performed under local anesthesia, for which epidural injection is applied in the lower back. Soon after you feel numbness below your chest. I was administered 2 epidurals after which I could feel my arms also numb and could barely move them. As soon the team prepares the patient, the doctor walks in and starts the surgery immediately. There is a big green curtain which is hung below your neck, which prevents the patient from seeing the surgery. Though I could feel the bed moving and hear the doctor and team interacting, there is no feeling in lower limbs, as expected. Within 15-20 mins, I could hear a cry, the one we have waited for months. What a music it is to the ears. I hear the team announce the time as 10:37am but they didn’t announce the gender, not sure if its intentional or just a miss. My husband was witnessing the entire surgery from a distance. As soon as the baby was pulled out, the team took the baby for cleaning and weight measurement. I turned my head up and kept looking at hubby, only to know if it’s a boy or a girl. But all I could see is his mouth wide open, eyes popping out and he had almost frozen and just kept looking at the baby while the baby was being cleaned and weighed and kept in warmer. I kept looking at him for some good 5-7 mins and finally gave up all hopes on him. I understood I need to wait for the nurse or the team to inform me of the gender. I kept lying on the table, numb, anxious but was also drowsy.

I might have dozed off when suddenly I hear a doctor calling out my name and suddenly saw a tiny face close to my chin. The doctor says ‘Shikha this is your baby, can you see?’ I replied in affirmative. Just when I saw the face, I felt 2 tiny fingers bruise through my chin and cheek. How can something be so tiny yet so beautiful. Some moments last with you forever, and I am sure for any woman in delivery room, nothing can be more emotional than this.

And thus, we welcomed Mr. Nivam Kar, aka Adi on 1st Feb 2024.

Nivam:


Soon after the delivery, my husband was asked to leave OT, while I will be stitched up and moved for observation. My husband called up our parents, relatives, friends to share the news. My parents were shocked hearing that surgery is already over before 11, whereas they were expecting me to be taken to OT around 10.30. They were not willing to believe him and thought he was fooling around. Anyways, they immediately came down to hospital once they were convinced that he was serious. By the time they arrived, the baby had been sent to my room and they all were spending time, clicking pics, video calling relatives introducing them to the new family member.
I was moved out of OT to observation area around 11.20 where I was kept for 3 hours.

First selfie with Dad:


One of the side effects of the anesthesia is immense shivering till the effect subsides. I had read about women shivering for an hour or more post-surgery, which I assumed is an exaggeration. Incidentally there was a wall clock right in front of me in the observation area. I started shivering from 11.30 which lasted for exactly an hour. And I have never experienced or seen anyone shiver like this. 4 layers of blanket were thrown over me, packing me from all sides but that didn’t seem to help a bit. They blow hot air inside the blankets with thick pipes, their width almost equivalent to kitchen exhaust pipes. Trust me, nothing helps even a bit. Until the effect of anesthesia subsides, the shivering continues with the same intensity. Eventually when the numbness reduces, and you are able to feel your lower body and move your legs freely, you are wheeled into your room. I was brought to my room around 2.15pm. My parents, brother, husband were all bundled around the little member, and were waiting for me to arrive.

The day of surgery you are advised to be on bed completely. The IV is removed slowly and then start your diet slowly with water first, then soup and juice and once they are assured that there is no nausea as an after effect of anesthesia, they start solid food. I was mostly drowsy that day, struggling to sleep considering the multiple visits from hospital staff – gynae, anesthetist, dietician, pediatrician, canteen staff and of course the stream of visitors which included mostly family and very close friends, add to it the pain and inability to move due to the stitches.

The second day starts with video calls from friends in other time zones, again a stream of hospital staff zooming in and out of the room and the long line of visitors all waiting to meet the new member. Visiting hours were restricted to 2 hours in the morning and evening each. Neighbors to colleagues to friends, it’s tough to describe the happiness and the love in everyone’s eyes the moment they lay their eyes on Adi. We even had to request some of them to visit us later at home, considering the limited visiting hours and my health. We had kept our pregnancy news a close guarded secret, with very close friends and relatives only aware of it. For days later I kept getting this question very frequently – “When were you even pregnant? We didn’t even know”.

The proud parents:


Now to the toughest part of the post-surgery phase – the first walk. Around 12 noon, the physiotherapist came to help me get out of bed and take the first steps. I had never in my wildest dreams imagined how painful a simple walk can be. Its very important to start walking on your own and using the washroom, only after which the catheter can be removed. Leaving the catheter on for a long time can lead to infections so its imperative you start walking as early as possible. I don’t know how many times I screamed and cried and gave up umpteen times. The pain is unexplainable, but with doctor holding a hand and husband another I could take few steps from the bed till door. Doctor asked me to keep walking few steps every 30-45 mins. The pain subsequently reduces with each walk, and after 2-3 attempts, I was finally on my own by 3pm.

Remember I mentioned about severe itching all over my body which started in last trimester. Miraculously it just vanished the moment I was out of OT. It’s tough to believe that an itching of this intensity, where I would scratch my scalp to under my feet nonstop to an extent that I still have those scratch marks at multiple places on my body. How can such a severe thing just disappear within seconds of delivery. But glad it did, else everyday life would have been very tough.

However, my Carpel Tunnel issue didn’t seem to get any better. The numbness, the stiffness still persists in both palms, more in the right. It’s been 3.5 months now post-delivery, as I type this the issue still persists. Consulted 2 neurologists and neurosurgeons and both suggested surgery is the only way out. I still can’t figure out how to undergo a surgery post which I will not be able to lift my baby for at least 2 months (3 weeks of stitches, followed by physio). I am still undecided what to do, but the past 3 months with a baby and numb finger have been terribly tough and risky at the same time.

3rd Feb, Saturday – the day of discharge. Considering there were no major concerns with my health post-delivery, my discharge process was initiated. Adi was taken for blood test for jaundice. Jaundice in newborns seems to be a very common issue but not really a matter of concern. If detected positive, they are kept under phototherapy for 24 hours or more. Post his blood test, he was taken for his first shower. The nurse explained how to hold the baby while giving a bath and the dos and donts. Since I was in my room, husband and brother accompanied the nurse and recorded the entire process for me. Luckily for Adi the jaundice reports came negative hence we were all good to leave for home.

Our ward was decorated with balloons soon after delivery. Since we had taken the package at the very beginning, they did all the formalities of cake cutting, car decoration and a complimentary photoshoot of the baby.
Finally, we reach home around 6pm, where my Ma had arranged a small Puja for Adi when entering home, and decorated his room with little help from Dad and Bro, and thus begins our new journey.

His photoshoot:




His first Jeep ride:

[shikha_roy]

How life has been with a new born over the past 3.5 months would need a separate blog. But it sure has taught us patience, how to go about life with sleepless night after night and like many other parents of newborns, we too learnt to work and talk in stealth mode . Oh btw, once you decode the meaning of their crying you have won half the battle. Crying is their only mode of communication, their only way to show they are hungry, sleepy, bored or if there is any discomfort. Every cry is different, and you will slowly learn to decode each of them. My parents left Bangalore when he was 2 months old and I have been managing things alone since without any nanny till now. There is no fixed formula of soothing a crying baby, its just your experience and patience. We as first-time parents are still struggling at times but also have decoded some of his cries and expressions. It’s a new learning every day. Somedays are peaceful, somedays are super tough but trust me, we are loving every bit of it.

17 days old:


His first Highway drive at 1.5 months to Kolar:


Team Mom always!


Pregnancy is never easy, it has its own challenges and pain and discomfort, something which men cannot imagine. The multiple hormonal changes in body, the weight gain, the mood swings, the throwing ups, the innumerable side effects a body goes through, the kicks and the punches which start the moment you decide to take some rest, the innumerable washroom visits in a day. No, its not easy. But I wish women do not take advantage of these. Just because the husbands are tolerating your tantrums and mood swings, don’t use it as a tool to get things done your way.

Post Partum depression is another very important thing which over the generations have been ignored. But with the increasing stressful lifestyle, nuclear families most of us staying away from families and relatives in unknown land, the constant hormonal changes in a woman's body with no control over emotions, the pressure of being a perfect mother - the depression becomes even more evident. I myself have experienced sudden bouts of mood swings, anger, sorrow even when everything around seems perfect. I have had tears rolling down for no reason, sometimes getting angry at the silliest of things which I otherwise laugh off, at times just regretting what have I got myself into. I know they sound very mean but yes, I have been through it all and trust me its normal to feel this way. Luckily for me those feelings subsided in few weeks. It becomes a matter of concern and safety for the child when the new mother has a prolonged duration of this depression.

Over the past few months, everyone kept enquiring on my health and how I was feeling whenever we met. I wish people start asking the husbands also how they are doing

They are also fighting a silent battle in their own way. I have seen Amitra in pain a lot of times. In the last phase of my pregnancy and post delivery, I have seen his eyes numb on multiple occasions. They are not always tears of joy. Seeing your loved one in pain, especially with all the itching and numb hands week after week, seeing me in pain in hospital all night when I was induced labor, me crying in pain during the first walk and the subsequent nights when I woke up every few hours to feed the baby while the stitches were still fresh - feeling helpless about it and not able to do anything to give me some relief was a horrible feeling. Husbands go through this throughout the 9 months and still keep calm, trying to balance work, wife and home.
Thanks to all the supportive husbands out there, who made our pregnancy journey a little easy to sail through. Today when I visit those restaurants/malls which we visited before delivery, or when browsing through the pics of last few months always bring a smile on my face. Amitra made sure to make every moment worth remembering. Not wanting to sound cheesy, but yes, he did treat me like a princess since day 1 (and of course ever since we got married but this time he went few steps extra). Every woman deserves to be treated with utmost care and respect these few months, and those memories remain with her forever.

That’s in brief of our first pregnancy journey. Waiting for the day when I hit the highway again with Nivam in the passenger seat. That will be, am sure, one of my most memorable drive. When he is a little older, I hope he enjoys reading and hearing about his parents’ adventures and hopefully takes on the passion. If not, he will still have all our support whatever he wishes to pursue.

Nivam at 3 months in his first 4-wheeler:



I am glad I could complete this blog which seemed impossible until few days back (with a numb hand and a newborn at home), and hope you enjoyed reading it. Feel free to reach out to livetodrive or myself if you need any details or feedback.

Till our paths cross on some highway, stay healthy. Drive Safe.

[Aditya]

Thread moved out from the Assembly Line. Thanks for sharing!

[dailydriver]

@shikha_roy and livetodrive, hearty congratulations on bringing home the bundle of joy. Sometimes, god makes us wait so that we may enjoy the fruits of our labour with more intensity and responsibility.

Being first time parents in your forties could be daunting; but you have something that young parents usually don't - a very mature head and tons of patience. Believe me, you will need both in full measure. It doesn't take too much for our tiny tots to turn into lovely brats! But that's where the beauty of parenthood lies - in traversing different physical and emotional terrains with ease: one that regularly needs deployment of 4H, 4L, 2H, 2L and every other gearing possibility that one can muster up.

Thanks for documenting a long journey that is as much factual as it is emotional. I would be lying if I say that a drop didn't escape the corner of my eye reading this.

In a forum full of men, I don't know if this long travelogue will receive enough visible appreciation, but be sure that every reader will be immensely happy for you and that you will be thanked enough for introducing us to the youngest possible Bhpian!

May the almighty bless your family to the maximum.

May this writeup serve as a beacon of hope and inspiration for countless readers going through procreational problems.

May Mr. Adi grow up to be an avid traveller and may he - a few years down the lane - come back to the forum and record his response to his mother's myriad feelings.

Congratulations once again.

[padmrajravi]

Congratulations. And thank you so much for penning it all down with such details. My Adi is a real lucky guy. I am sure, he will get to travel much more as a kid than what some of us do in our entire adult life. And thanks for touching up on postpartum depression. I never knew the extend of severity of it, till my wife went though it and had to fight it out. It is far too common than what I had thought before our own struggles with the kid.

On another note, the all-time 'Thanks' leaderboard is going to get reshuffled now. This is such a valuable post.

[GTO]

Dear Shikha_Roy & Livetodrive, thank you for making us a part of one of the biggest moments of your life. God bless the little angel. 3 of you are looking fantastic!

Time to shop for wheels . You could also open a What Stroller? thread.


Source

[dkaile]

One of the best threads I've read on TeamBhp in a long time. Perhaps because my daughter got married recently. I had tears rolling down reliving your experience. God bless you all.

Cheers...

[Rajjay]

A different and interesting post to read. I really appreciate your patience in writing such a long story. God bless the newborn.

Thanks for treating TBHP as a family and sharing your experience and joy.

[krishsreedharan]

First and foremost, congratulations to the two of you and God Bless the little fellow. My Wife and I had our only son when she was 40 and I was 42. So guess to some extent we are in the same boat.

I was working in Singapore at that time and my wife had come down to India for the period of her pregnancy since there was no tangible benefit in having a baby in Singapore. Besides, all said and done, our support system was in India.

He had his first flight when he was 4 months old and ever since, we have been taking him on as many road trips as possible. I sincerely believe that getting the child to travel with you at the early ages exposes him to the world in the best possible way and also helps build that bond between parents and the children.

Once again God Bless!

Cheers,
Krish

[narayans80]

Lovely Shikha. Enjoy your parenting journey. Please do not stop your driving or travel adventures, these should continue. Your little one would enjoy them too. Just that your little one wouldn't let you mind free till he can talk and express himself, while you are at the wheel.

Do get a good child seat which will help your local and highway runs.

Ideally you could travel in the second trimester. We did to Paris before my son was born. It was an easy going one, where my wife could nap some parts of the day.

Being parents at late 30s or early 40s is just rare in India. We spent a few years in Italy, where it was quite the norm with parents of kindergarteners and primary school children in their 40s. But yes, its not easy being parents of infants and toddlers as you can bend and bow in your 20s or 30s as we found out

[DasAuto1985]

Your post brought a smile to my face Congratulations and happy parenting to you both!!

[Srini1414]

What a wonderful journey.. I kinda re lived the joyous and some times emotional journey of our own. Thank you for sharing this and thank you for taking me back in time. Many congratulations to both.

[Aquitej]

Congratulations to both of you.
You got amazing writing skills.
I am also Aquarius like Nivam