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-   -   Life's like that: Real life anecdotes (https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/shifting-gears/53223-lifes-like-real-life-anecdotes-11.html)

I still remember my days as a Fresher, when we used to beg Security-wallas at Software Companies in Bangalore to allow us in.

Security: "Are you Brush or Experienced?"
Me: "Brush"
Security: "Give Resume here, you can go."

My Friend: "Sir, I have experience."
Security: "Ok. Go to Reception and give your Resume. Say that you are not Brush."
My Friend (he is actually a Fresher): "Thank you Sir."

I usually carry a Mobile, Handkerchief, RSA Token, ID Card, Purse and Car Keys in my trouser pockets. I have developed a habit of subconsciously checking for the above items while leaving from office.

So one day while walking towards my car, I was talking to my wife on the mobile and I suddenly paused, the conversation that went is as follows:

Wife: What Happened, Anything Wrong (sensing my silence)
Me: I think I dropped my mobile phone somewhere.

(It did not stop there)
Wife: Don't worry, Check your car, you must have left it there in morning.:deadhorse

Someone mentioned mannequins so brought this to mind:

At the Madame Tussauds in Las Vegas with a few friends and walking around checking out the wax figures. Walk by a few and they didnt seem to be familiar faces so we were joking around that "Koi ki bhi statue lagaa dete hain". To reiterate this point a friend pointed at a fat african-american figure standing near a corner right in front of us and "Is this fat chick some actress?" and she looked up and boy did she stare :uncontrol.

Needless to say we made a quick exit so and continued laughing for a while after that.

P.S. No intention to insult any living person for their size/color.

This happened way back in 93-94. I was in school and had a skin infection. Doc had prescribed an ointment - Coniderm. So I went to the nearby medical shop. The owner knows my parents well.
There are couple of customers waiting and I say to him (in malayalam)- "Chetta, oru Coniderm" (I need one coniderm; Chetta means elder brother)
He gives a serious look to me and continue to stand still while his employees are serving others. I wait a few more seconds and again asks him "Chetta, oru Conidrem". Again he is not interested and I made the request once more, this time bit louder.
He looks at me angrily and asks "ethu venam, kohinoor, nirodh, ks..." (Which one do you want, kohinoor, nirodh , ks..)

I was shocked, embarrassed and same time had a hard time controlling myself when i explained what i really wanted.

This must be Candiderm, not coniderm.

This cream contains clotrimazole, which is the first line of treatment for fungal infections.

for a moment i was doubtful. But the incident has made me remember the name for ever :)
Coniderm

May be same thing but different brand name

OT.

Yes, it also contains an antifungal called miconazole.

After reading a couple of posts, I was transported back to my Reader's Digest reading day. :D Here are a couple of my goof ups

While doing my grads I was staying in a PG and the landlady used to visit daily. I was learning basic Khasi (a tribe and language spoken in Meghalaya) from the college cook and also the landlady. The cook had taught me 'Jingsong,' meaning the posterior and a couple of days later the landlady taught me 'jainsem,' meaning the traditional dress Khasi women wear. Once on her daily visits, trying to show off my Khasi skills, I tried to compliment on her dress. Here is what I said, "That's a lovely jingsong you are wearing!" Imagine my plight when she frowned and told me with a sly smile, "I'm sure you meant the jainsem."

Another incident happened when I had just started driving. During those days, we had to go to the cooking gas dealer to book a gas cylider and also get the cylinder by ourselves. The home delivery was very unreliable. So, one day my dad asked me to go check if the cylinder delivery truck had arrived. So, I took the scooter to go check. The truck had arrived and there was a mad rush to get the limited number of cylinders. So I rushed back home, brought out the empty cylider, took the Omni and drove to the dealer. On my way, I noticed many people smiling and giggling at me. Then I realized to my embarassment that I still had the helmet on my head. Yes, I was driving with the helmet on. :uncontrol

Hahaha, that is epic! Safety first :p

The other day wifey dear: "An intelligent man is one who can take right decisions at the right time!" (maybe she was mocking me)

I quipped back: "And an intelligent woman is one who can take decisions! Never mind the 'right' part!" (my turn at a shot back as she is notoriously bad at taking decisions!)

Incident I
Setting: 4:30 pm on Friday. Deadline in 2 hours.
Location: Mumbai
Actors: 1 main speaking in Marathi. Few other who know the language. 10 who don't.

Main actor on phone with railway enquiry( speaking in Marathi) " what time will the 6pm Sahyadri leave?"

All of us burst out laughing - including 10 of us who didn't know the language. The guy is sheepish/ angry and asks us "did you even understand anything?"

Yeah we did and translated for him. The look was priceless. Soothed the frayed nerves too.

Incident II:
Email from an American going back from india.

Ram Ram. Jayeshth bhaagya. Dekhein tumhe bhitar nutan ande ka pila bhaag.

We asked him what it means. He replied " you know Hindi. Figure it out."

I'll provide the answer by evening. till then try to guess like we did.

This happened back in 2000. I was working in Bangalore and Dr.Rajkumar had just been kidnapped by Veerappan. That meant surviving on just bread and water for 2 days. When a few small hotels opened after 2-3 days, 4 of us went in search of some hot food. We reached the hotel and asked what's available. "Khara Bath" - came the reply from the hotel guy. None of us knew what that was, so we were puzzled. "Upma" - he said again. Ok, now 4 of us were discussing. Two of us (me included), were in no mood to do something new after two days of bread, so we decided to stick to well-known "Upma". Two others, feeling more adventurous, wanted to try "Khara Bath". So we went back to the hotel guy and said - "Two Khara Bath, two Upma". And then it was the hotel guy who was laughing uncontrollably for the next 2 minutes.

Then he told us that "Khara Bath" and "Upma" are the same thing :D

many times when i have to kill a cockroach or spiders, i always say 'sorry' to them before killing. I seriously don't want to kill them, but they leave me no choice. I simply hate them. :Frustrati

Wild guess: Prosper like the egg yolk which goes on to become chicken? :p

Happens to me all the time.
There have been numerous ocasion when i realised that i forget my cell or keys at home. I also subconsciously check my car and home keys by feeling the keychain.