Team-BHP - Life's like that: Real life anecdotes

Hahahaha here’s one more from my side (Just thinking of it made me laugh).
A couple of years ago I had just finished overhauling my RE 500 at my best friend’s garage (Painting, Chroming, Mechanicals et al).
Note that my friend is like one overly intelligent scientist types who tends to be absent minded at times.
We were just adding the finishing touches and were doing the oil-top up’s when my friend decided to oil the chain. Here’s how our conversation went:
Friend: “Aadith, you push the bike and I’ll hold the grease gun and follow you so that I can oil the chain.”
Me (Being just as stupid): “Ok Gladwin, ill push it slowly so that you don’t miss any part on the chain.”
Like imbeciles out of NIMHANS we started ‘pushing and oiling’ the bike around the workshop compound.
That’s when my friend’s dad (A respectable old mechanic) noticed us and said:
“You nincompoops need to be hit hard on the head with a 22 size spanner.” And burst out laughing.
That’s when we realized how foolish we had been. That’s life clap:

My OHC's rear numberplate had its digits peeling off with two completely gone and a couple on the verge.
Anyways, I decided to get it done since I had a bit of time on hand last week. Went out looking for a numberplate walla and found this piegon-hole of a shop proclaiming to be the best in the business. Went upto him and negotiated a price.
The fellow (dressed in slightly greasy overalls) walks out with me to the parking to remove my numberplate and takes one long lusting look at my car.
Fellow: You have the kept the car in a great condition. Planning to sell it anytime soon?
Me: No plans as of now but even when I will in the future will only give it to a true collector.
Fellow: You wont find a bigger Honda City (OHC) lover than me. I have three of these parked at my house right now and I am planning to turbo-charge one of them soon. So let me know when you decide to sell her. I'll pay you more than what the market offers you.

I couldn't help but take a good look at him and his shop and make a mental note about not judging people based solely on their appearance and work.

This story dates back to the 70s, I think I was about 8 or 9.

I was spending summer vacations at my grandmother's farm house. One day my grandmother called me and asked me to deliver an envelope.

GM: Take this envelope and deliver it Chinkra's house.
Me: What is this?
GM: It is a gift for Chinkra's daughter, who is getting married today.
Me: Ok, I will leave right away.
GM: Wait, listen to me first. When you are there, don't enter the house. You call somebody out, and then drop the envelope into their hand from the top. Don't touch anybody.
Me: Sure.

If the above instructions sound strange, let me explain. This Chinkra was our former farm-worker, and belonged to lower caste. In the 70s such things were taken seriously by old people.

So I went and was back after 30 minutes.

GM: Did you deliver the envelope?
Me: Yes.
GM: Did you drop the envelope from the top and not touch anybody?
Me: Yup.
GM: So, what took you so long?
Me: Right after I delivered the envelope to Chinkra's daughter, she asked me to wait. So I sat outside the house. Then she came back with sweets in a plate and pushed towards me. I ate all of it and then came back. That is why I took so much time.
GM: :Frustrati

Although I had followed her instructions, I had completely demolished the spirit behind it. In fact, I had sat outside the house and ate from the plate that was pushed towards me. Perfect role reversal! :uncontrol

I was sitting in the office with the usual chores. Suddenly my desk phone rings, only to find that its my wife on the other side.

Wifey: Hi!
Me: Yeah, tell me.
Wifey: Where are you?
Me: Where do you think you reached me??? :uncontrol

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My wife has this habit of making me guinea pig for her dishes every now and then. The other day she called me to the kitchen to taste her recipe. So, me in my usual self went over and stood there with an open mouth.

The food was getting cooked. She usually a) uses the spoon to take a piece and b) then blows it cold. But this time, she uses the spoon to take the piece and puts it on her palm. Then she realized, she missed point (b) above. She starts screaming while juggling the piece between her palms "*@$^*$# ITS HOT!!!". Before I could say something, or even think what should be the point (c), she thrusts the hot piece into my wide open mouth :Frustrati HELL, MY MOUTH BURNED AS IF A CHARCOAL WAS PUT IN!

My tongue refused the sense to taste for the next few days. And till today, I have refused to be her guinea pig!

************************************************** *

Quote:

Originally Posted by _raVan_ (Post 2577248)

I was sitting in the office with the usual chores. Suddenly my desk phone rings, only to find that its my wife on the other side.

snip

My tongue refused the sense to taste for the next few days. And till today, I have refused to be her guinea pig!

dude, i can totally relate to both incidents and actually has happened to me (the guinea pig part not the charcoal-in-the-mouth part)!! unfortunately, i'm still a guinea pig. kya karen, papi pet ka sawaal hai lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by kablu (Post 2579530)

@raVan,
Had a hearty laugh in the morning reading your post man :)...I'm newly married and I'm in the Guinea pig Phase now.. Can visualize the scene perfectly :)

welcome to the gang and wish you a happy guinea pig phase :D

This is funny as well as scary.

Me and my friend from school used to meetup in our hometown Delhi during college holidays, Well usually this meet was in the evenings and and these meets had a purpose. Smoking couple of cigarettes.

Well it was a cold and chilly night in December and both of us were walking on an isolated street with our newly lit cigarettes.

All of a sudden my friend hands me his cigarette.

Me: Dude i already have mine and just lit it.
He: Abe Pakad jaldi.
Me: OK
He walks lil fast and barely 3-4 meters away was his dad coming in the opposite direction, he nearly blows the smoke on his dads face.
Him: Hi dad, bhase badal kar yahan kya kar rahe ho?

I Notice a cigarette in his dads hand, And i am still holding 2 cigarettes.

His dad: Kuch nahin abhi dinner kiya tha so tehlne nikla tha.
My friend: Me to, to chaloon?
And we just ran from there, couple of meters down the road we stopped i am laughing.

My friend: Dude i am screwed, what are you laughing for?
Me: Did you see the cigarette in your dads hand? he is probably worried that he is screwed when you tell this to your mom.

Then we both bust into laughter. That was a really nice day.

Pramod

@Pramod, you remind of an incident in college where one of the hostelites found himself in a similar situation. Outside the college, at the usual adda's, the guys are hanging out with the usual combination - chai & cig's. All off a sudden one guy starts taking quick, multiple puffs.

"abe, Kya hua ?"
"udhar dekh"

the other guys turn & look in the direction that he's indicating to. A senior gentleman is walking down the road, in their direction.

more quick puffs,
"abey, baap aa raha hai !"

& some more quick puffs. He then quickly hands over the ciggy, and starts walking towards the hostel. His dad didnt seem to recognize it was him (the guy was probably lucky that he saw his dad first).

:)

Just remembered one more:

This happened about 7 years back when I was working as a Junior Copywriter in an ad agency.

We were working late one night as there was a presentation the next day.
In ad agencies, it's not uncommon to see bottles of black liquid being opened after 7pm in the workplace itself.

Pretty charged up by 11.30 pm, I was doing the final copy check of the print campaign that I had worked on.

I was almost going to send it for print when my Creative Director came up behind me, saw my screen and burst out laughing. Then a few of my other collegues looked and my screen and started laughing too.

I had no clue what they were laughing at and was starting to get ticked off after all my hard work!
That's when my CD pointed out...we were working on a campaign for the brand SIEMENS and i had spelt it as SEMENS in all my ads:D
I wonder what the reaction of the client would have been if he had seen the ads as isclap:

Here's one from a week back.
I had to pick something from M-block, GK(market).
Parking in this hellhole market is a PAIN!

i found a spot, and parked, and the parking guy gave me a ticket.
Locked the car, and walked off.
About 2 steps into my walking, i took a dekko at the slip, and saw that the guy had pulled that "fool the illiterates" trick of ripping the slip midway, so it would look like it says "30 bucks for 4 hours, after 4 hours 50 bucks".

(pretty prevalent, this.They rip away the part that says 10rs for 2 hrs.usually you'll know it when you see a HUGE wad of rubber-bands holding two small pieces of wood with the parking tickets.even tear, you see.)

so anyway, i am walking, and i am fuming!
bugger, fool, idiota....(this is translated to PG, OK?)

"you wait, i am going to do this...that...and the other!!!Ill get the cops, ill get the parking contractors tender cancelled!!Who the hell do you think you're fooling??"

So picked up what i wanted, and was coming back, and about a 100 yards from my car, took the ticket out of my pocket, and re-ignited!!

"where the hell is this cheat?I have money, i can spare the 20 bucks, but why the HELL should I? its about principle!! Bloody cheat, scoundrel, rascalla(again PG'd here)."

closer to the car now, about 10 meters away, and i see him standing next to my own car.

"oh, so you cant even wait to claim your bloody bounty, eh?gonna buy a nice quart of stuff, eh?we'll see!!!"

and he spots me and says, " Arrey sir, I have been waiting right here next to your car for past hour!!!you left your rear window totally down!!!"

ppphhhhhhhuuuuuuuusssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tom thumb?
i feel you, brother!

footnote:
The car had my office lappy which was the easiest thing to jack.
Other things were personal love poured in the car in the form of the stereo, speakers, connectors...what not.
Gave him the 30 bucks, but told him, "this is for looking after my car, this doesn't mean I endorse this cheating."

This happened just last month. indiMotard was organizing the TWO Racing School in Coimby at the Kari Speedway and a couple of us decided to go.

We planned it well and since we were going to spend quite a bit of time on the track we thought it would be wise to truck the bikes to coimby and back to blore. No additional stress of riding all the way and no additional leaves you see. :)

So we did just that. JVH dropped off his Ducati monster and I, my ninja 250R at the indiMotard garage in whitefield on the requested date. The track school was scheduled for 15th and 16th Oct so we decided to drive down to Kari on 14th evening with another friend (ku69rd) in his car.

So track done, we returned to blore and jvh and i got off at my office in madivala where i had parked my car over the weekend. I offered to drop jvh home since we was pretty close to where i live.

When we reached his house i peeped around and asked him - "dude, where do you park the duc?" and he answered. With genuine concern that the bike was missing from its parking spot, I replied "but i dont see it there". jvh quipped - "dude you ok? the bike is on its way from kari by truck." I had parked my ninja next to his ducati in the truck at the track in coimby. i was like :Frustrati

I was so tired, exhausted and fatigued that i was not thinking straight. Felt like a total fool and didn't know whether to laugh or not. Embarrassing !!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by n_aditya (Post 2582074)

When we reached his house i peeped around and asked him - "dude, where do you park the duc?" and he answered. With genuine concern that the bike was missing from its parking spot,

I was so tired, exhausted and fatigued that i was not thinking straight. Felt like a total fool and didn't know whether to laugh or not. Embarrassing !!!

This happens to me too often and no I am not stressed. Every other time I keep checking my smartphone because I lost quite a few owing to my carelessness, so this bug bit me so much that while talking on phone I inadvertently check for my phone in my pocket and quite obviously I would not find it.

The way I react to it is such that if I were a heart patient I would have died some several hundred times (much to the amusement of that insurance lady who keeps asking me what if you die now, you don't have an insurance). This habit, mind you, is not for weak hearted! The only other thing that could match the excitement is the cabbies on roads, damn!