Team-BHP - Life's like that: Real life anecdotes

Experienced this during my interview with my present company:

Interviewer: How long have you worked for in ABC company (my then previous company)?
Me: 2 years.
Interviewer: You know, 2 years is not a long time. The first 2 years, you prove your worth to the company. From the 3rd year onwards, the company rewards you for your performance. In my advise, you should stay there for at least 1 more year.
Me: Umm.mmm.ok.

After talking about other stuff:
Interviewer: You know, this is the best company to work for. You will enjoy working here. In my 13 years of work experience, I've found this to be the best company. Take my word seriously, because I have changed 13 companies in the past 13 years.
Me: :eek: (Going on in my head: What about the gyaan that you just gave me about the company giving back to you if you stick for more than 2 years).

Oh man. chalte kya double savari doesn't sound that nice. I learnt it the hard way.
When I was single, many used to ask the obvious question when ever I attended any relative's marriage - When is your turn?
There was a very elderly person who used to make it a point to ask me every time and I used to hate that, and beyond a while, it became too much. I used to feel, don't these old people not have anything better than ask in a public function, "When is your turn" and burst in to laughter?
One day I was at a funeral and this elderly person came over. I gingerly asked him loudly, "When is your turn".
Immediately the whole place was stunned in to silence. I quickly threw an apology and walked out. I was ashamed for a long time, seeing people going aghast at my question.
Of course I was only 19 or 20 then. Hormones may be. We later made peace. Incidentally, my turn came before his! And I pray that he lives a very long life.

This one is real, I still can's stop laughing when I think about it.
The other day, on our way back from picking our 3 year old from school, I was telling my wife (She's pregnant right now, so she waits in the car while I go to pick the little one from her class), that another mom in school wanted to know if we're having twins this time, and that I told her for Irene we had to do a C-Section and that's why the stomach is... From the back seat without missing a beat , Irene yells, Appa, 'I'm in A Section' pa !!!!!

One of my colleague recently went to our Chennai office. On a Saturday evening he got his beach wear and camera ready to take some lovely pics of the sunset. On arrival he found out that the Sun was no where to be seen going down into the sea.

He laughed his lungs out experiencing the fact that the Sun rises from the East and sets in the West.

He was back on the beach Sunday morning to capture the Sunrise :uncontrol

Happened in 2001-02 when I was doing internship. these was my junior who was drinking daily or say habitual drinker. one day I was coming from a dinner and as I entered the college road, I saw him sitting by his fallen bike along the road. So I and 1 more friend get down from scooter to help him. I ask "What happened?" every few months in between.

"Boss kya batayu mein to theek ja raha tha ye saala khamba pata nahi kahan se aa gaya beech mein":uncontrol

translates as" Boss I was going fine, But this pole came in between from nowhere"

We still tease him on this and he still gets those poles in between every few month.

Note from the Team-BHP Support Team : Please use the "edit" button if posting within 20 minutes of the first post, instead of creating another back-to-back post.

This happened a few years back. I had purchased a new mobile phone and was using it for a month. One day, my uncle happened to see it and he started enquiring about the phone.

Uncle: How much you paid for this?
Me: 11k
Uncle: What features does it have?
Me: Camera, bluetooth, etc etc etc
Uncle: How is the battery life?
Me: I charge it once daily and it lasts 2 days

Uncle: :uncontrolWhat!!! How do you know that the charge lasts for 2 days if you charge it daily???

Me: Oops!!stupid:

I wondered how often people mis - read situations with hilarious / embarrassing results. The reason being such an event took place and I could not hide my embarrassment, here is my experience:

I was out at site training nurses in the use of some medical software we were all getting along well and having a laugh together. At the end of the training as I was facing away from the sitting ladies I turned around to face them, I see one of the nurses holding her arms open and saying "give us a hug then" at which point I went to give her a hug - but another nurse is coming over to give her a hug me not realising that it’s not me she wants to hug but her colleague I say "oh so are we having a group hug". Didn't know where to look as all the rest of the women in the room are staring at me and thinking what an idiot!! :DI make a hasty exit.

Please post your own such experience.

Regards (embarrased) Shindha

I remember one such gaffe.

I was to give a presentation about SAP project implemetation details in our organization before the board of directors and when I started the presentation it turned out to be the photo album of my son when he was born. One look at the screen and I froze for a moment. I looked at the directors totally red faced but found a smile on every one's face. This left me totally embarrrased but one of the directors broke the ice and complimented about my son.

From that day till date, I double sorry triple check every time before any presentation.stupid:

This is a story but could we have happened somewhere:

A team in India has assembled in a conference room to attend a conference call. On the other side people from various countries are expected to join as well.

People are coming in one-by-one and one person (the lead) is dialing into the conference.

Automated Voice: Welcome to <> audio conference. Please enter your x-digit code followed by the <> key.
Lead punches in the code: <beep> <beep> <beep>....<beep>
Automated Voice: Thank you. Please state your name after the tone and press the # key.
Lead starts to punch in the # key (generally people don't say their name and just punch in the # key.)
Just then one team member drops his newly bought expensive phone with a loud thud. He screams "OH! S**T!!" and the next second the lead pressed the # key.

Automated Voice: Thank you. You will now be placed into the call.
<beep>
Automated Voice: "OH! S**T!! has joined the call!!

@sanjaykk: That "oh s#!+" one, hilarious, if it could happen....

Have one on me:
There is this mechanic sardarji in delhi, famous for servicing bullets in kotla, delhi.
I used to drop my bro's bullet there, and stuck with him for my pulsar.
So, once, after dropping the bike, i was looking for an auto, and saw this guy standing next to an auto
The following is all in hindi, delhi "lehza" from me, and Haryanvi from the other guy:

ME:"you'll go to moti bagh?"
Him: "what?"
ME:"moti bagh, moti bagh!"
Him: "what, now?"
ME:"well, yeeee-eess."
Him: "ok.lets go"

So i sat in the auto, and this guy takes out a cellphone, this is when we had those siemens quarter pounders and incoming was around 10 bucks(?) a minute.

Now, something is not sitting right.
he's speaking on the phone,"bhaiyya,I am going to moti bagh".

ME:"youre the auto driver?"
Him: "no?"
ME:"then what the hell did you just agree to???????"

Him: "aapne kaha chalo, to maine kaha chalo."
("you said lets go, so i agreed")

AARGHH!!

@ Mayankk that is a really funny incidence.

I have been embaressed quite a lot of times. there are some i cant even mention on the forum. but the one which takes the cake (not for me but for my friends) was, once i was supposed to meet my buddies at a wrap selling outlet. it was a common joint for all us.

I am famous amongst my friends for a lot of bloopers and somehow my friend knew what i was about to do. but still he couldnt mange to save me in time.

I arrived late to the scene and was terribly hungry. Everything happened in split seconds. As soon as i arrived i gobbled some french fries from my friends plate and without looking i just point blanckly ordered a chicken burger to a beautiful girl standing next to me with her boyfriend.

She just got terribly pissed, folded her arms and yelled at me, "do i look like a waiter to you?"

the boyfriend was too grinding his teeth. i sat down with my head low feeling like a complete ***. :Frustrati

P.S the cherry on the cake was my friend later revieled to me that the fries was not ordered by him and was lying on the table by someone since they had arrived. Gosh

Hilarious stuff guys!
The restaurant incident by konjaril reminds me of a similar gaffe by me.

I was onsite for a while and we normally went to lunch together. One other Indian guy had joined us recently and I knew him from before, so asked him to join for lunch. So, the 4 of us - me, new Indian to the project and a couple of Germans sat at a table.
Indians being indians; my fellow Indian kept his bowl of litchis between our trays and said in Hindi I could take one if I wanted. So after finishing the main course I took one and pushed it to the centre, saying I didnt want anymore. Now the other two Germans knew me a bit as we had worked together for some time. They started eating from the bowl of litchis assuming it was mine. After two servings each, my Indian friend said you guys can finish it. With half eaten litchis (their 3rd each) they asked me if the bowl wasnt mine. They couldnt apologise less as they had only met this friend of mine a few times.
Needless to say, we all went red in the face due to my goof up!

Quote:

Originally Posted by sanjaykk (Post 2273015)

A team in India has assembled in a conference room to attend a conference call. On the other side people from various countries are expected to join as well.
....

Automated Voice: Thank you. You will now be placed into the call.
<beep>
Automated Voice: "OH! S**T!! has joined the call!!

revised version: ;)

Automated Voice: Thank you (British accent). You'll now be placed into conference. To mute your line, press *6; to un-mute press #6.

Automated Voice: "OH! S**T!! has joined the conference.

you work for HP, don't you? :D