[Sn1p3r]

Dear Friends,

I am caught up with a dilemma. It so happens that yours truly is passionate about his bikes and cars. This love of mine is not only for my own [I am not selfish but a sniper, ok PJ] but for all around. Now that I have recently got married and my wife has put me in this dilemma, I thought many of you would be experiencing on daily basis.

Dilemma being, my wife is a self proclaimed car nut. She is passionate about her cars as much she is passionate about me. But, but, but, Oh there are many more. She does not know anything technical about them, she drives them crazy and yet she loves them.

She drives fast and furious, I was subjected to the driving recently while she was having fun my one hand was holding the handbrake and other covered my ear as the tires screeched and metal in the gears churned to their death. Though she was safe, she was either making gears and engine beg for their dear life or it was the tires.

I remember once I slapped and blasted a taxi driver for his rash driving, causing an accident and putting the passengers (I was one of the three souls) at risk. But you see she is my wife and she is the BOSS. I hinted to her that her style was different and that engine was either lugging or was redlining; she gave me the look {first LOOK I ever experienced}. Now I do most of the driving on my car and hers too, so I am the designated enthusiastic driver.

Please help me with the situation on how you preached someone [anyone] to drive right.

Thanks!

[EssYouWe]

Oh my! You just dug your own grave.

Send for the mods, and have this deleted before she reads it.

On a serious note, she'll need to believe that you know what you are talking about before she changes her driving style. Getting more people to criticise her driving style might help her change for the better, or give up driving altogether.

Take your pick.

(O boy! I don't envy you!)

[aargee]

Originally Posted by Sn1p3r

Please help me with the situation on how you preached someone [anyone] to drive right.

There're 2 preventive ways...
1. Force your Wife to join this community & go through the thread, especially the accidents in India
2. Enroll her once again to a driving school - Maruti driving school

Last but not the least, the worst way to learn would be experience, I wish not on this one.

[clevermax]

and , don't forget to show her the "Bad drivers.. how do you spot them" thread!

[honeybee]

Showing her the Accident Pics thread should help. Another idea you can try is demonstrate that the other people who ride with you both, relatives or in-laws, prefer you to be at the wheel than her because you drive much safer (you do, don't you? )

Also make it clear that if the car suffers any damage because of her recklessness, it will be repaired out of her own money. If she is not working, work out an equation like one accident means no shopping for the month.

If you are really serious about her learning the safe way of driving as against the reckless one, you need to be authoritative and explain (in polite terms) what she needs to do when behind the wheel.

[Thad E Ginathom]

I had a girlfriend once, who drove from her Italian blood. Everything was gut-reaction and instinct. I am much more mental, more consciously calculating, when I drive.

My driving made her nervous: her driving made me nervous...

[kaushik_s]

Let her enjoy the driving yaar. Someone driving fast doesn't always means that it's dangerous (some slower drivers who are actually scared to drive are more dangerous). If she is full control of the car then let be it. She'll slow down automatically after some days.

[COUGAR]

Why do some people think that they are better drivers than everyone else? Let missus drive the car she does and let her make her own mistakes. But distracting her while she is driving you might actually end up causing an accident!

one thing i absolutely detest is people sitting beside me and lecturing me how i should be driving. Like who died to make you the expert on all driving?

"Drive in 4th gear, you will save on fuel", "dont do this, dont do that" I mean please.

Note from the Team-BHP Support Staff :
Abusive language – whether used directly or indirectly - is STRICTLY prohibited on Team-BHP. A decent communication protocol must be adhered to. Foul language and use of abusive words/photographs in posts/avatars/signatures/topics is STRICTLY prohibited.

[Sn1p3r]

I guess the thread is taking a negative connotation and projecting me bashing up women drivers. NOT the case. Also I have never mentioned that I am Schumi or Auto expert to know all cogs in the block. I am just an enthusiast with a feeling for the mechanics and general well being of the car or for that matter a scooty or a superbike. We all at TBhp know what a whining engine or scrapping metal sounds like. Heart wrenching, isn't it?

Also I am a very patient co driver and a loving husband to tell her what to do and what not to do while being driven, I myself hate back seat drivers.

I mean it could be men or women, generalizing on wife not the case, it could be a 50 year old man making slow progress on the overtaking lane on highway or a novice college girl driving rash to get noticed for her new car in 20 kmph residential by lanes. I am sure you have personal experience to morally rebuke the person. Here in my case its love of my life, thus the dilemma.

Coming back, she is enjoying driving. She is economy conscious to put gears at every multiple of tens.

2nd goes on 10, 3rd on 20, 4th on 30 and even 5th on 40 something. As the doctor ordered on her Maruti 800 or Santro, but the issue now is that she is driving 1.6L and sometimes 1.8L engines. The RPM goes way down to 1k and with AC on its lugging most of the time (clogged roads are not healthy for engines). And 5th gear is the check point for all driveability bandwidth of the engine as it goes from 1k+ to 5k+ its not the overdrive but the only drive gear she thinks as getting more mileage.

I drive the car gives 13kmpl she drives it is 10kmpl at a stretch. Slowly, I have started citing few examples after my own drive or giving reference to latest innovation to the tech world of cars. She seems to be gathering more info. I hate the myths local Learning schools imbibe in the unadulterated minds of starters. No road rules but just economy rules. Shift shift higher to get more fuel mileage, engine wengine knowledge is best for road side mechanic who is a messiah if your car stops because either you are redlining it in first 2 gears and the engine is hot or the engine goes gad gad gad because you are lugging it time after time.

Please add your own incidents and learnings while you preached a novice or a seasoned driver

Cheers!

[noopster]

Oh boy this is a toughie...

The problem with advising a woman (as a man, I mean) on things like driving is that you almost always end up being interpreted as talking down to them. I have this friend who is a great driver, but the only flaw in her driving is that it's zero-tolerance. I realised that telling her "Drive slower" is not going to work- she treated that as a challenge more than anything- so patiently worked on another aspect of it: viz. how much trust she is putting in the judgement of OTHERS to remain safe. Think about it- I said- if the other guy is slow in his reflexes, you are going to end up badly hurt. Once she realised that driving defensively actually gives her MORE control, she got my point.

[_raVan_]

Well, the tough part is telling them they are wrong. Nobody believes you, unless they have the dose of their own medicine.

Recently, I watched a video on youtube which was pretty good and I believe it might have helped people become more responsible while driving.

YouTube - Car Accidents - Disaster needs a moment of carelessness

The tagline being "Disaster needs only a moment of carelessness".

My wife also argued with one of my uncles for his fast driving (he is only fast, not rash). Her argument was that in that split second of decision making, what if you sneeze? He had nothing to reply back

[rohan_iitr]

I can totally understand how you feel.

My Dad is also a very spirited driver, I am terrified to sit next to him when he is driving. Its not the speed that bothers me, his overtaking maneuvers are very risky sometimes. He overtakes heavy vehicles on single lane highways on curvy roads, even when the road ahead is not visible. I always request him not to take such unnecessary risks, but he doesn't listen.

He also redlines the engine in low gears and lugs the engine in high gears. He never slows down for potholes or speed breakers. I feel bad for his car.

We have an unspoken and unwritten rule - I don't drive his car and I don't let him drive mine.

I am the youngest member in our family, hence my advice or suggestion is not taken seriously. There is no way I can make my Dad correct his driving style.

Rohan

[valhallen.282]

@rohan I feel your pain! I get it from both my mom and dad. P.S. He wouldn't even listen when I told him to please turn off the AC on our wagonr as we were climbing the ghats after stopping for a scenic view. He listened only after 10-20 stalls sadly!

@sn1p3r my friend been there. I have a friend who has a little 800 and has seen to it that I couldn't catch her! She jumps speedbreakers. Over revs leaves it in fourth at 30. Like my best friend does to his bullet. Out of everything I don't believe that showing her accident pics or anything will help.

Everyone needs to be explained from their perspective! So I suggest you try different methods of persuasion to reach your end goal.

[Sn1p3r]

Interesting points raised, I am sure there will be invaluable inputs coming from seasoned campaigners soon.

@rohan: We too have an unspoken and unwritten rule - I don't drive her car and as of now she is not interested in mine, but I cant let her rip the poor baby.

Patience is the key as of now, I now do a simple session of one technical know how after every drive. She likes Superb, so I go like

Me: You know what the new 1.8TSI engine in Superb is amazing and is same as the one in Laura.
Her: Wow, how do they manage the size and weight of Superb.
Me: I think they are using different gear ratios in each car.
Her: Gear ratios, you are talking geeky stuff.

I go on to explain, the gear ratios

Next things is the power/torque RPM graph.

I think I will get there. Hallelujah.

[prateek99]

Originally Posted by aargee

go through the thread, especially the accidents in India

I second that thought, it made me drive responsibly.

Make her visualize after effects of an accident/ crash.