[noopster]

Let me start off by saying that this is not a rant.

Well, not all of it anyway!

It was 7.40 last evening. I was just about wrapping up at the office when the missus called.

Can you pick me up?

Ummm, sure. What happened? Ran out of petrol again?

No dear, it's raining.

You don't say!

Arre, total toofan aaya hai. Am sitting in the dark with the kids. The lane is too dark to go out and get the Flyte. Come fast!

OK. Hang on, am on my way (Bhaag bhaag DK Bose already playing on Brain Radio).

The way my office is built, I am totally cut off from any vagaries of nature. Rain or shine, brilliant or overcast it stays the same sterile fluorescent-lit 22 degrees C always. No wonder that this rain thing hit me like a bullet.

I walk to the parking lot. No rain yet but the signs are all there: breezes blowing, streaks of Hindi-film-style lightning cutting across the cloudy sky. Times like this the imagination is in overdrive, what if one of those lightning bolts were to strike me? How cool would that be huh?

Well, not cool literally, I grin to myself. Hit the road and about 10 minutes later, screech to a stop. In the middle of a large ocean of traffic that seems to be going nowhere.

Wifey calls again.

We're collecting ice in the garden.

Say again?

The kids, some of the other teachers and me- we're still stuck here- the house was dark so we're in the garden now- collecting ICE!

It's called hail.

Yeah whatever, HAIL. When are you getting here.

Ummm. It'll be a while honey.

Take your time. This is amazing!

BBM @Swanand_Inamdar, Niklaa kya? Kaisa hai baahar?

Just left.Massive jam at the (Hinjewadi) flyover. Nothing's moving.

Haan ok. Mein tere peeche hu. Chowk pe. Let me know whether I should turn left or come straight to the flyover.

He promises to call.

I grin to myself as a large drop of sweet rainwater gets me right on the face. Welcome, monsoons!

[noopster]

Some are weather-wise, said Benjamin Franklin, some otherwise.

Ole Ben would would know- wasn't he the one who went out to fly a kite in a storm in the name of science. That kind of madness inspires me.

No points for guessing which category I fall in. My Mom has this sympathetic cluck-cluck noise she makes when she sees me occasionally down with the sniffles.

Weather change, no? Paap... you're so easily affected by the weather.

Oh yeah! As far as I can remember, my moods and tempers have swung with the weather. Spring and early summer is my favourite, as are mild winters. Peak summers- the kind we've been having in Pune lately- are the worst. You will find me at my grumpy best then. But best of all are the monsoons.

They make me go slightly mad.

I glance around now and realise it's not just me. Cars are packed 4 abreast on a two-lane road. Bikes are scrambling across the concrete divider into oncoming traffic lanes to make an easy escape. Even the cops get caught up in it. I hear one mama tell a biker, Aap wrong side se jaaiye, idhar time lagega.

Swanand calls again.

Dude take that left turn. The flyover is a mess.

Ok. Are you stuck too? Hope you have hands-free.

Haan don't worry. You're on speaker. We can talk.

We chat about this and that. Mostly the meet planned for the next day and how to get there. Traffic is absolutely stuck.

You know what? Forget it and come straight on down.

Make up your mind man!

No, no- I am in the middle of the flyover and can see the highway. Moving too slowly. Come straight.

This is the problem with real time updates, I grumble. But the thought of being stuck for God alone knows how long for the 3 km detour if I turn left is scary.

Dude times like this I envy you your automatic. My left leg is killing me.

I grin. And look at the MID, and the grin vanishes.

3.3 kmpl. I don't tell Swanand.

Theek hai, am going straight. Better be on the main roads- the vilage roads may be waterlogged- don't want to get stuck there.

Yup. OK, my lane is moving, gotta run.

Damn. Really? Mine is still stuck. In fact, am getting slowly squeezed from both sides as the road narrows to exactly 2 lanes. I can feel it with every move forward. Finally, am the only car stuck with two lanes merrily moving on either side. Am a little embarrassed, to be honest.

Poke my hand out and give the "please please" signal. This is like a right turn signal combined with a plea to give way. The plam facing upwards, semi closed with the figer quivering: auto drivers are great at it.

A lady in an i10 lets me merge with the right lane. Out of sympathy or amusement, can't tell. Am too ashamed to check.

And then suddenly- a spotting! The most beautiful white i20 with a "Love Cars, Live Cars" sticker perfectly positioned on its left bumper. I instinctively grin and salute.

The i20 guy seems to be a pro at being spotted- he immediately smiles back and waves. Before we can start a conversation, the traffic inches forward again and I lose him.

I am excited- want to call Swanand and tell him. But my phone has given up. It is in hang mode, just sitting there in the front seat, backlight glowing, nothing working. An incoming call may bring it back to life, otherwise am stuck with no phone.

Which is fine, actually.

FM is getting annoying. The guy is playing what he thinks is "rain music" and failing miserably. Mika is not rain music.

In Bangalore, the land of gentle everyday rains, I had some CDs that I called rain music. I miss those. Strings was one I loved in this weather.

Ek khidkee hai, ek chehra hai.
Toota sheesha hai. Girtee shabnam hai.

Nice. But we're stuck again. And I need music. Anything.

A Green Day CD tumbles out. Why not? Soon enough am singing along to Jesus of Suburbia.

Soon enough am singing along to Wake Me Up When September Ends.

Soon along am singing along to- wait, seriously? The whole CD played and I am still on the wrong side of the bridge?

There are guys taking U-turns into my lane now. I wait for a couple of them to cross. Someone taps on my left window.

The i20 guy! He caught up with me. Nice.

DueLLer.

noopster.

Oh noopster!

That felt good .

Swanand was right. The flyover is a complete mess. Someday must meet the man who designed it and thank him- there ARE worse engineers than myself around.

The divider blocks are carelessly piled up in the middle of the road. One false move and your bumper is history.

Rainwater has made the base of the flyover its home. Car upon car is splashing through but the pit is seemingly bottomless.

There are cars coming the wrong way and cutting across into my lane on the flyover. Even in this weather! I think and then catch myself, wait why should it be any different?

Stupidity is weather-proof. Like Asian Paints exterior emulsion.

FINALLY, the U-turn. DueLLer is right behind me now. I try to take a pic of him the IRVM. Fat chance with what VW has provided. It looks like a Pink Floyd album cover. I give up and toss the phone on the front seat.

Hey it was working again. How'd that happen!

No time to wonder about that now. The traffic has eased as we merge into the southbound lane of the bypass.

Everyone is surprisingly calm on this stretch. Normally after being stuck for an hour, people drive as if they're late for their last meal. But everyone's fairly sedate. The usual idiots cutting me in and off, but that can't be helped.

I have switched off the AC a long way back. My car real-time average FE dipped to 3.0 on the MID. I did NOT want to see a 2.x there.

Sus Road is like a ghost town. Lights off, nobody on the streets.
The cars and bikes coming the wrong way are the only familiar sign. Again I ponder how inadequate my stock headlamps are.

Reach home, the power is on. Kids are playing and eating Maggi in the living room. Wifey has brought along one of the nannies at the school- she apparently rides a bicycle to work and well...that's out of the question now.

We need to drop her off. You have dinner first.

A change into black rock T-shirt and chaddis and am feeling much mre human. No let's go now, I insist.

Do you want to stay at your friend's next door?

To a 5 year old, that's like asking, do you want to eat chocolate? Duh!

Our neighbour is a good soul, bless her. We park the kiddo there and drop off the nanny.

Let's pick up something to eat.

Really? Nothing at home?

Rice is there.

Neki aur pooch-pooch? We stop at a place near Chandni Chowk for chicken and a couple of rotis. Takeaway.

[noopster]

The monsoon madness is catching. Wifey gets off to help me park between a bright red Dzire and a bike parked haphazardly.

The Dzire guy walks up and starts a conversation. A surreal one, as it turns out:

Man, what a car! How much did you pay for it?
Thanks. About 10 lacs.
No, no. I want to know EXACTLY how much you paid for it.
Oh well. EXACTLY 10 lacs.
WHOA, you got a sweet deal, man! Is it fully loaded?
Fully loaded (pause) and automatic.
AUTOMATIC! (his eyes are like saucers now)
Yup. I need to park, ok?
Yeah, ok. I'll move my car. I'll move my car. Sweet deal- whoa- automatic- wow! I'll move my car. I'll move my car.
He actually does move his car, though by then the biker has also sped off so I just back up a little and am good.

Lock the doors and walk up to wifey- HER eyes are like saucers now.
Who was that?
Shrug. Don't know.
What did he want?
He wanted to know how much I paid for the car. And told me I got a great deal.
No seriously. And you TOLD him?
Yeah. Anything for a car-lover. You know that.
He said, I'll move my car FOUR TIMES.
I heard.
Let's go.
By the way, if the weather holds, am working from home tomorrow.
Oh great. Gaswallah aayega.
(...and starting this thread.)

[pjbiju]

The first rains really brought the best out of you noopster. Something that happens every day (except the rains) - but written beautifully. Enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed the first rain yesterday.

Luckily I was in my company bus and did not get stuck for very long. We left at 7:00 p.m. from Phase 1. I have the car today, but will be leaving by 4 p.m. So there should be no issues.

p.s. Can the MID show negative numbers too?

[mmxylorider]

Brilliant noopster. The weather change has given your writing skills an additional booster .

The next couple of months will be interesting to watch. There's probably been a 10% increase in the number of vehicles coming into HJW and the roads have not been improved. I am seriously thinking of using the company transport.

<start rant>
Indifferent attitude of people was visibly evident while I was returning home from work last evening. Winds had destroyed couple of sheds and construction boundary wall along NDA road. Sheet metal was lying on the road obstructing a lane completely and also a hazard. Nobody took any effort to move it aside.
</stop rant>

[sanstorm]

Simply Superb. The narration is beautiful, the best I read in some time, was hooked to it.

I got taste of what's reserved for next 4 months with the arrival of rains yesterday. It was 1900hrs, was thinking of starting for home. But the typical of IT life, boss asked to join some ops review call. By the time I headed for home, it was 2100. The traffic was less, however with most of the signals not working it was literally 'jungle raaj' on most junctions. I could maneuver fine (relative) till reached Karve statue, Kothrud. All hail breaks loose, those who are aware of this weird junction, it was .5 kms queue all direction and literal mess (vehicles trying parpendicular, wrong lane, u turns, cutting each other and what not). It was 2215 I reached home, thats 0115 hrs for travel from Senapati Bapat road-Kothrud (~7km, generally 25mins)

I read somewhere that rain brings the best of nature, however worst for man made items ( vehicles, buildings,roads et al), thought with the non tolerence seen on road, human psyche should also add to the list

[noopster]

Thanks guys, Please keep posting your reports on the rains and how (if) they affect your mood. I find myself slipping into a feeling of gentle benevolence when the first sign of rains show: go about patting children's heads and feeding hungry puppies- that kind of thing.

@Sanstorm- 1h15 for that distance is actually good. I took an hour and a half to reach home.

On the way back from the takeaway place, there was a spot on the Bavdhan_Pashan road that had a fair bit of water logging. Remembering like a good T-BHPian sudev's and others' advice on driving in emergency situations, I drove through at a slow but steady pace. There was this car in the right lane that hesitated and attacked the puddle too slowly. I was just about to point it out to the missus when she exclaimed:

That guy's windows were open. You SOAKED him!

What? NO! I didn't mean to.

Yeah I know. Poor guy.

Should I stop and apologise?

Yeah let's slow down at least.

The guy passes. Am all set to use the "please please" again. But no reaction. No finger. No Kya kar rahey ho, dikhta nahi kya? Nothing.

I think it was someone else. Looked like a white car. Is it that one?

Huh? How'd he get ahead of me so fast? Let's try him.

Again, no reaction. Must be the rains that put everyone in such a fine mood.

In any case, I apologise to the unknown car owner whose rear upholstery I soaked.

[Swanand Inamdar]

Noop, brilliant! Hilarious and absolutely spot on! The conversation between the both of us has been amazingly penned down. Reading it now makes me wonder- What on earth were doing talking to each other like that in this god forsaken land called Hinjewadi.

3.3KMPL huh? I am happy now, no actually grinning - mine showed 10.XX KMPL in that traffic! Ha, God bless those MT's. Not actually, my left knee still hurts!

The traffic has been explained in such a hilarious way, that believe it or not, i actually look forward to that kinda traffic. You know what, whenever I get stuck in traffic (i.e every day), this post is going to be in the back of my mind!

Oh, BTW Dueller and I work in the same organization and till date, we have been unable to spot each other. Beat that!

Your's has been a rant in a rather amusing way! Loved to re-live the hell we went through last evening!

P.S: Bhaag DK Bose is stuck in my head since last evening too .

[Fordmanchau]

starting with a smiley, that's what your thread has done to me.
Am smiling all through reading your post.
Wonderful read and so thoroughly wonderfully written noopster.
Hope there's more to come.
Man, hope it rains here too in hyderabad, have been waiting anxiously.

[mmxylorider]

Originally Posted by noopster

Thanks guys, Please keep posting your reports on the rains and how (if) they affect your mood. I find myself slipping into a feeling of gentle benevolence when the first sign of rains show: go about patting children's heads and feeding hungry puppies- that kind of thing.

Yep! Maybe the drop in temperature makes people cool down too. I think overall people tend to become more forgiving. I was having my daily walk with mrs last night and my son joined us. He had a fun time jumping into every puddle he could find for over 30 mins and we did not mind. That was one happy kid and things like these are what make the daily drudgery pale in significance.

[ajay_satpute]

That was one fantastic post! Loved every bit of it. You are good at writing Anoop. Keep it up.

I was in a almost similar situation yesterday, but on the other side of the town. We started from Kothrud at around 7 PM to go to Tingre Nagar. So we called up the relatives and told them that we would reach around 7:45 to their place. 45 minutes to Tingre Nagar from Kothrud...big joke.

When we started, the rain also started pouring. First real use of new wiper blades. Bosch wiper blades, something like 450/- for the set of 3, 2 front and 1 rear. From Kothrud to Shopper's Stop at Wakdewadi, I drove at speeds 20-30 KMPH and in 3rd gear at max. My daughter was continuously asking when we will reach. Remember the Donkey from Shrek saying "Are we there yet...Are we there yet?" and my baby went off to sleep thinking that we are travelling to some other city.

So finally we were somewhere near by the destination. Well thats what we thought actually. We were quite far from there. Rains had caused havoc at the junction where I was supposed to turn left. But I completely missed it and reached the Lohegaon airport. My baby was still sleeping happily. Finally, after 10-15 calls back to back, we reached the destination. Time was...8:35 PM. Long and boring 1 hour and 35 minutes.

Me and one person from the family went to buy bread at a near by store. And the havoc continued at the same junction. Some truck had malfunctioned and had spilled oil at the junction. Little bit of rain is never good for 2 wheelers and adding oil on to that makes things worst. After we reached the spot, we helped 6 bikers to get up and stand, who skidded on that oil one after another. None of them luckily got hurt, but it was bad. Someone got sand from somewhere and covered the oily spot.

We came back home at 11:40 and I slept like a log. Zzzz...

[noopster]

Hey Viks, nice to see you here. Nope, don't blog- I don't have the discipline to update on daily basis. Just come with up with stuff when the mood strikes!

Ford- thanks man! In fact rains are slightly delayed this year- normally we have a few showers by mid-May. Ican imagine how ovenish Hyd must be- sympathies.

edit: Hi ajay, thanks! Hope we can (finally) meet up tonight- have a feeling it may not work out since something has come up at last minute! :(

[ASHISHPALLOD]

Yesterday, 12matikar experienced first drop of season and it was time for hot pakoda and tea.

@noopster,
its nice to read the rainy post,
keep it up.

[amitwlele]

Great post Noopster. Considering that the rains are just about to start we would have lot many hilarious updates from you in the next few months on this thread.

Slightly off-topic as not really a street experience.
Yesterday being a Thursday there was no electricity. But then i always wonder why in Pune, within a few minutes of the start of thunder showers we have loss of electricity? I am not sure if others in Pune experience this or is it restricted to the area that i stay.

[shabahmad]

Very nice description, loved it. I was on 2 wheeler & running away from rain yesterday evening and reached home before it started.
Today if it rains i had same plan as 12matikar saheb has said, to have pakoda & chai but at mulshi.