Team-BHP (https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/)

-   Et Cetera (https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/et-cetera/)

-   -   The Official Joke thread (https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/et-cetera/2439-official-joke-thread-327.html)

^^^

Reminds me of a housemaid at grandpa's - she was very disgusted with one of her own relatives one day, that she started abusing in midst of her chores. Granny asked her what is wrong, and she burst out the longish tale; and ended it up with "you know what to do with people like that?? Chew sh!t and spit at them!!!!"

Albert and Simmy are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to
celebrate their 40th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces,
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our
engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency
landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be
able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be
rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our
lives!"
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the
island. An hour later Albert turns to his wife and asks, "Simmy, did we
pay our Rs.5,000 Airtel cheque yet?"
"No, sweetheart," she responds.
Albert, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Simmy, did we
pay our ICICI card yet?"
"Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says.
"One last thing, Simmy. Did you remember to send cheques for the SBI,
SCB and Citibank Card this month?" he asks.
"Oh, forgive me, Albie," begged Simmy. "I didn't send that one,
either."

Albert grabs her and gives her a big kiss. Simmy
pulls away and asks him, "So, why did you kiss me?"
Albert answers, "They'll find us!"

:uncontrol:uncontrol Awesome... I hope it works that way. These folks will find you where ever you are...aren't they?

Ofcourse they will. That's exactly why they are successful so far ;)

While we are on this topic, recently my friend got a notice from HDFC Credit Cards for a settlement amount of Rs 75K. Of course there is a mistake on his part that he missed paying some balance before shifting out of town ( around 5/6 yrs back). He couldn't even recollect the amount and his max card limit at that time was around 10K anyways. The interesting part is that flat he vacated was occupied by a family friend of his and they say they have not received any statements so far. They really track you down !!

A Tribute to potholes of India.

^^ Even here Kashmir is not a part of India LOL

Got this one just now on email.

It is self explanatory, though the text is in Malayalam. It is about the treasure trove @ Padmanaswamy Temple, if you really dont get it.

Here's one.

"Women's tears are like male sperms..

Only one in a million are for a right cause." :D

Disclaimer : I got it as a forward!

Got as a fwd:

"Dear Harry Potter,
If it took me 8 damn movies to defeat one lame bald villain, I'd give people their money back!
Yours' truly,
Rajnikant"

This is one of the best pj's I've received lately. Don't know if it's posted already.


Pj on wheels!!!!!

5 Auto Rickshaws
+ 5 Auto Rickshaws
= ???
'Volkswagen'!!!
....(Das Auto) :D

No offense VW owners!

Saudis in Audis.

YouTube - ‫

Very funny video by arab american rapper Remy. :)

Thanks for sharing SirAlec! It was fun watching it again after a long time.

Here is another one by GoRemy, and I like this one better:

YouTube - ‪GoRemy's Channel‬‏

Aalok

Seen it many times, but each time, including now, it manages to glue me on the screen till the end. :uncontrol:uncontrol

This one is seriously awesome. I sincerely hope there is no such tintumon in real :D