[ThePatientMan]

@Secretariat - Amazing and hilarious take. Perfect reading material on a tawa-garam day at the office (read - Boss in a bad mood day - sales meet (firing session) scheduled in sometime)).

Excellent description of behavior of the participants (also the 'announcement' part nicely pointed out by @jomson13 - something that i myself have also observed and to add to it- sometimes the revving is beyond ear-splitting.

I have observed another set of riders in these Sunday rides - The ones who we colloquially refer as the "Chhapris" (veteran riders in the forum will get the drift). Ride : (mostly) badly modified Pulsars, Yamaha RX 100's etc's with 'Kurla' type silencers (noisy, illegal and fitted in roadside garages in Kurla suburb of Mumbai). The are always in their own group and keep a respectful distance from the big bike groups. They keep trying weird antics like doing wheelies on the highway.

The above Sunday ride phenomenon can be observed at the Ahura Hotel on the Mumbai - Ahmedabad highway on Sunday mornings (multiplied by 10X times on National holidays) when "Special Rides" to Ahura are organized by Biker groups.

In addition the antics mentioned by you, some of the riders in the '19 years old' group are also nasty riders who having tasted the speed and testosterone driven high of a fast bike, care two hoots about observing safe riding practices and sticking to road discipline.

Had read a similarly worded article sometime back (couldn't locate it - was a WhatsApp forward) about why middle aged men take up running. With their ever growing pot belly and sphere of influence restricted to the quantity of bhindi to be bought from the neighborhood bhaji wala (color of the bhindi been already specified by the lady of the house) and with a limit to taking the no of "Boys" trips to Goa and Bangkok this the second available option available for the above said lot (the first being buying a big bike and a leather jacket).

Pls keep writing more such amazing pieces.

[VijayAnand1]

Originally Posted by Secretariat

When all the heroes come back fully satiated, about 3 bikes will refuse to start. Immediately a group forms around each, offering helpful suggestions that the drive chain slack needs readjustment or that the headstock bearings need lubrication....But everybody is happy now. Iqbal Pasha has made his weekly killing and our hero gets to ride back home.
[/center]

What a genteel one at that. Thoroughly enjoyed the satire and sarcasm. Matter of fact, that is how most BF rides end up. The above section quoted, gotta say, had me fully reeling with laughter. I feel the pent up emotions have now been successfully discharged.

Cheers!
VJ

[abhisheksircar]

Although coined as a lighthearted poke, I have no clue, how the heck did you get the details so quite right being a cyclist. I would go to sleep at 2000 hrs the night before a ride to, let's say Goa, and stay awake almost through the night due to the excitement. Not to forget, neatly placing all the gears in place before going to sleep to not spend much time in looking around for things.

Now tell us the truth, when did you switch to cycles after realizing the so called pointless rides of around 100 kms to eat something which can be delivered to your home by Zomato ! Which bike was it ?

[SoumenD]

Originally Posted by Secretariat

Whoever said petrolheads are not capable of an occasional laugh at themselves. Sit back, relax and smile once or twice.

Hilarious post. Had a good laugh

Took me back to 2007/08/09 when we used to do these breakfast rides to Khandala/Lonavla from Pune. Back then even a helmet wasn't mandatory in Pune and we used to ride with full fledged gears(helmet, knuckled gloves, armored mesh riding jackets etc). People used to give us weird looks and cops at times used to stop us to ask if we are doing anything fishy(so much for safety). Nowadays gears have become mainstream and nobody really finds them abnormal which is a good thing. Never the less, exactly similar scenes were played in Lonavla(forgot the name of the restaurants as its been 13-14 years since) but we were the poor ones on our humble RTRs and Pulsars admiring the ducatis,honda-CBRs,yamaha-R1s etc. Ah!!! Those were the days

[swe.desi]

Thank you for this wonderfully humorous post, @Secretariat!

[Secretariat]

Thank you all for some very kind words, and above all to the many bikers who have commented here, for being such a sport.

Reiterating that this is purely to induce a laugh in a fairly serious forum ; no offence to anybody on two wheels. I will freely admit that when a Panigale is seen in full flow, it is impossible to keep out the envy !

And yes @aqualeo - touche, it was indeed me clogging the left lane at a lovely 20 kmph. Sure @Srini - all rides of all dimensions are to be worshipped; Amen to that, especially on this forum.

No, never been a motorcyclist. Strictly in the four wheeler camp when it comes to motorized mobility, where equally strange and funny things happen ! As for cyclists, we are unique in our idiosyncrasies too.

[bblost]

LOVED LOVED LOVED this hilarious thread.

I sometimes wonder why these bikes don't have just a 5 liter tank as that is all the range they need.

[kvamshi04]

Hilarious post 😂, the best thing I read today.

I can so relate to it, minus the lady 😝.

On one of such rides, I reach back home at 12:00 noon, only to see my father standing near the main gate and then gave me a piece of his mind for living a carefree life. And telling my mom, please get him married soon, I am done with his Sunday rides.

[green_ninja]

No discussions on tires that resemble their balding pates? Two chicken strips that are larger than the mid-section of an 80's Kollywood item song dancer and a center section that is about to look like a typical Indian city road after a spell of rains? Maybe I'm confusing the squids with our ITvity uncleJis?

[Sebring]

My wife would ask me in total incredulousness "You're going all the way to Tamil Nadu (From Bangalore) to grab a plate of idli and and coffee"? And I would say, "it's the journey dear. Always the journey". I have so many pictures from such rides but never thought of making a thread. This is indeed interesting and hope riders contribute hilarious pictures related to their trips over here

[no_fear]

@Secretariat,

This is such a fun read. You have hit the nail on the head with your astute observations. The behavior is universal for all bike riders and their rides. Here in NCR, a few add-ons

1. Whatsapp messages about police naka / checkpoints early morning.
2. 15 minute sutta break after riding 20 km (The pot bellies can rest only that long against the gas tank).
3. Discussing the abysmal Delhi traffic on above mentioned cigarette break.
4. Cursing that one rider who took his sweet time to join the gang (probably woke up late and can't find any excuses). Rider adds his anecdotes on Delhi traffic and how he escaped from the clutches of the lady of the house.
5. Ride commences - half the group promptly gets lost in 10 minutes, as they decide to go for coffee while the other half continues
6. 2nd sutta break to wait for the group that is lost / got left behind. More cursing.
7. Whole group rides as 1 to Murthal dhaba half way to Panipat. (Planned ride is 100 km, so far ridden 50 km).
8. The feast commences - everything from grilled sandwich to aloo paratha is up for grabs.
9. The ride to Panipat is put on hold as it's 10 am and biwi ka phone call is incoming. Everyone makes a scramble for home.
10. One rider falls off bike pulling a wheelie / avoiding a cow.
11. Tow truck arrives, rider and truckwalla argue over tow fees. Truck wants 5k, rider pays 1k.

The day ends......

That is why I ride alone or with my brother when he is in town

[Avinash_R]

Super thread Secretariat.

I have had a similar feeling about the early morning walkers in Lalbagh.

Travel by cars/ bikes and then walk in Lalbagh.

Ask them why and the typical reply is Saar! Its very good saar, pure air saar, no pollution saar, if we walk on roads - full pollution saar while hypocritically forgetting their contribution they cause while coming and going.

After walking, trend is to go to Nearby MTR, Darshinis, have MASALA Dose, VADAS and pollute the air even more.

[locusjag]

Brevity and brutal honesty are the essence of wit. And this write-up has all of that going for it!

And alas, for 10 years back, I was doing cringe-worthy biker stuff myself - worst of which was wearing my imported kevlar racing jacket everywhere in college (what the hell was I thinking!)

Damn, but biking does bring out the child in us.

[Uthappa]

Hilarious, Secratariat! Brilliantly captures the scene that plays out on weekends. Coming from the generation of riders that use to do Bangalore-Madras/Ooty/Goa rides back in the day, in no matter what weather, on antiquated machinery, this really struck a chord! I always stop to chat with that group of 2-3 riders that have stopped on the road next to a tea stall, though. Can really vibe with them. Simple old school guys, who truly love all things motorcycles.

[deathwalkr]

Am no biker (don't even know to ride one) but i enjoyed reading this You have a way with words and will wait for your story on cyclists