[that_sedate_guy]

Friends, I'm still shaky as I type this. Not because I'm traumatised or anything but because I feel sick to the stomach like I'm going to throw up any time.

My wife and I went to the book fair hosted at Kalyani Kala Mandira (nice book fair btw. They're there till tomorrow if anyone's interested, btw). So, anyway, we went along with one of my friends and her husband in our Scorpio. When we came back to my friends house to drop her off and unload the books, it was nearly 1AM. Her house is in Challagatta near Domlur.

We were unloading the books when a car with two men inside came there and signalled for us to get out of the way. When we tried to reverse, they aggressively tried coming closer and closer in a threatening manner. I saw a cigarette in the co-passenger's hand and figured out that it was a bunch of drunk goons. We let them pass and then resumed our job. They turned around and came back and shouted at us again. I could hear them shouting something about Tamilnadu along with some expletives. We went away from there and parked at a different spot with space for them to pass. That's when all hell broke loose.

They got out and shouted in Kannada but I easily figured out what was going on. They asked where we were from and then shouted, "So you don't know Kannada huh? You think you can come in here without knowing Kannada huh? Look at these (Explicit), they don't know Kannada". The guy who was driving the car slapped my friend's husband and the other guy landed a blow on my face and eye when I was still seated in. They were drunk out of their minds and were mouthing so many foul things about my wife and my friend.
We got out and then he pointed at my wife and asked who she was. I replied that she was my wife and immediately he went, "Sorry sister, I thought you were his (explicit)"

At this my friend got enraged and shouted. BAD MOVE, I know but she couldn't contain herself. The goons got pissed off and caused a huge ruckus all the while shouting that we are Tamil people and we do not belong in Karnataka.

It took two hours of neighbours trying to pacify the drunkards for them to leave us alone. We were tired, scared for our safety and extremely drained emotionally. We had no one there, we were outsiders who had been singled out just for having a TN registered number plate. I've had people misbehave after seeing my number plate but this was on a different level. We decided to stay the night and leave in the morning because they might still be there somewhere trying to cause trouble.

In the morning I did my routine walkaround of the car before getting in and noticed that they had not left us alone after all. Two of the four wheelcaps in my Scorpio were broken and the front right tyre was deflated.



I couldn't believe that people would stoop so low in their lives that they had to resort to petty acts of anger. Luckily I had bought a portable tyre inflator from Agaro just two months ago and that helped tremendously in inflating the tyre in a few minutes.

After a lot of chaos and other people pitching in, they left but not before proclaiming that they had the locals, the cops, everyone on their fingertips and again shouting that we're just "(very abusive expletives) Tamil people"

With a very, very heavy heart, I'm writing this.

I feel DISGUSTED by the internal racism in India. It has been nearly 12 hours since the incident happened and I still feel nauseous.

Of course, there'll be exceptions to all what I mention below but,
Karnataka vehicles ply on Tamil roads ALL the time and no one bats an eye. I've lived in Uttarakhand where everyone minds their own business. I've been to Mumbai, Pune, Kolkata, Sikkim and I've driven a lot in Kerala, Andhra Pradesh, Uttar Pradesh, Delhi and no one acts all high and mighty about their own state and actively tries to kick out people of other states.

But Bangalore? I don't get why these people behave like this. This is not the first time I've experienced "Number plate based treatment" in Karnataka. It has happened before numerous times in Bangalore and quite a few times in Mysore and other places around there. So many of these experiences personally have made me realise that apart from the need of my career, unfortunately, Karnataka will be the last place I would ever want to visit or live in. Ever.

Frankly, I don't even feel like going to Bangalore for work anymore. My wife got so deeply hurt from being called many vulgar names that she said she doesn't even want to ever try a Bangalore style chicken dish from a cookbook we bought yesterday.
I feel extremely DISGUSTED and extremely upset that my wife and my best friend also had to hear so many ugly and vulgar words spewed at us.

In all this however, we all knew that staying silent was the best way to deal with the drunk fanatics. My friend lost her cool initially but I instructed her sternly to keep silent as well. It might have prevented the situation from further escalation. Or not, who knows?
Sorry for venting out so vehemently and thanks to whoever reads this. Sorry if my experience shared does not resonate with other's experience in the place but Bangalore/KA is simply not for me or my family. Also, people with similar experiences, feel free to share.

Mods, if there's another appropriate thread where this will make more sense, please move it as seen fit. Thank you.

[NPV]

This is deeply disturbing, I empathise with you’ll.
Since you mentioned neighbours joined in trying to calm the situation, I’m wondering if anyone recorded video or audio or if the car had a dashcam that was on when this whole episode took place. You should lodge a complaint with the police and if possible also post on social media, actually a social media post on X/Facebook tagging Bangalore police should be enough for some action.

[that_sedate_guy]

Originally Posted by NPV

I’m wondering if anyone recorded video or audio or if the car had a dashcam that was on when this whole episode took place.

Unfortunately I did not have a dashcam and no one recorded. It also happened a bit away from the car as well.

Originally Posted by NPV

You should lodge a complaint with the police

This might sound cowardly but really, I don't want anything to do with the incident whatsoever especially because those crooks live there in the same Street where my bestfriend also resides. So it's best that the morons forget it over their hangover and go about their useless lives.
Also, the volume and the number of times with which they mocked us and gave us their own phones to make phone calls to the police made it clear that there was no use in calling the authorities as they obviously had some backup or the other. I did not want anything to do with them.
I'm probably too much of a "walk away" kind of person but it just doesn't feel good to go behind such lowlifes, if you know what I mean.

[Samurai]

What happened to your family and friends is disturbing, thankfully there were no injuries. It will take some time get over the mental trauma of being attacked like that.

You ran into a bunch of drunks who were looking for a fight. They looked at your TN plate and decided they will be make a fight out of it. I don't think you should use this to cast judgement on Bangalore. Report it to the police, share any video/photo of those people with the police. Or let it go if you don't want to deal with the hassle. This was a random event.

I was in a situation where I was surrounded by 30 hostile people and was getting slapped around. I didn't have the choice not to return to the same place, since it happened in my college.

[shankar.balan]

If you have a dashcam please share the footage. If you dont have a dashcam better buy and fix one asap. If you took their car number it would help file a complaint with the cops for what it is worth. This new age linguistic chauvinism and parochialism is increasingly prevalent in these newer areas of development especially around the agglomeration of village areas which are just outside of,
yet adjoining the central areas of Bangalore. The thing is for overall safety, never venture out late and around these dark places.

[that_sedate_guy]

Originally Posted by Samurai

It will take some time get over the mental trauma of being attacked like that.

Yes, hopefully the feeling wears off soon. It's a strange indigestion-like feeling I'm not able to put my finger on and I really don't like it.

Originally Posted by Samurai

You ran into a bunch of drunks who were looking for a fight. I don't think you should use this cast judgement on Bangalore.

I'm positive that these incidents don't happen everywhere all the time. However it happened more than a few times to me and even then, no judgements. And not just Bangalore. Last November moped rider in Mysore decided to rub his feet on my bumper, looked at my number plate and then pulled over to instigate a fight. Couple of years ago, an auto driver cut me off at a junction in Madiwala, looked at my number plate and then proceeded to ram the front tyre of my motorcycle and spew abuses. About a month ago, a biker I overtook in Bellandur, passed me again and guess what, looked at my number plate and proceeded to block me from passing smoothly.
Again, these things are not area specific and I definitely agree with you on that. I'm just making a mental note to myself to refrain from travelling much in this particular area which, in multiple occasions has led me to similar kinds of trouble.

Originally Posted by Samurai

Report it to the police, share any video/photo of those people with the police. Or let it go if you don't want to deal with the hassle. This was a random event.

True and true. I really don't want to undergo station visits, investigations, complaint files and the lot.

Originally Posted by shankar.balan

If you have a dashcam please share the footage. If you dont have a dashcam better buy and fix one asap. If you took their car number it would help file a complaint with the cops for what it is worth.

Yeah, it's better that I have a cam installed for crooks like this. Also, it was dumb of me now that I think about it but I did not record or take note of anything because at that moment my only thought was that there was my wife and my friend defenseless and I was really wary of possible weapons on either of the perpetrators.
Further, after a recent major domestic accident, I'm almost unable to do anything demanding with my right hand so I was skeptical about brushing them off in case they got physical. So I decided to be silent.

Originally Posted by shankar.balan

This new age linguistic chauvinism and parochialism is increasingly prevalent in these newer areas of development especially around the agglomeration of village areas which are just outside of,
yet adjoining the central areas of Bangalore. The thing is for overall safety, never venture out late and around these dark places.

You hit the nail on the head with this one. You're 200% right about the exact type of places these things happen. Rural and just adjoining the urban areas.
And yes, it's better to stay away from sources of problems rather than drive into them (literally) and then look for solutions and consolation.

To the both of you, thanks for your kindness!

[shancz]

Originally Posted by shankar.balan

This new age linguistic chauvinism and parochialism is increasingly prevalent in these newer areas of development especially around the agglomeration of village areas which are just outside of,
yet adjoining the central areas of Bangalore.

Bullseye
It takes time for maturity and sense to develop and prevail.

Originally Posted by that_sedate_guy

Sorry for venting out so vehemently and thanks to whoever reads this.

Thanks for sharing your ordeal and it was way more than that. I am not sure if I would've been able to keep calm during such an episode, hope I do.
Such events leave a bitter taste and understandably so. I can't suggest you to take it in your stride as I didn't go through it but let's try not to ruin peace of mind and way of life because of a few lunatics(the best I could come up with adhering to the rules of the forum).
Of course exercising caution as suggested in earlier posts would help.

[shankar.balan]

Originally Posted by that_sedate_guy

However it happened more than a few times to me and even then, no judgements. And not just Bangalore. Last November moped rider in Mysore decided to rub his feet on my bumper, looked at my number plate and then pulled over to instigate a fight. Couple of years ago, an auto driver cut me off at a junction in Madiwala, looked at my number plate and then proceeded to ram the front tyre of my motorcycle and spew abuses. About a month ago, a biker I overtook in Bellandur, passed me again and guess what, looked at my number plate and proceeded to block me from passing smoothly.

Not a solution.
Just a jocular thought.
Perhaps install a bumper mounted solid brass flag pole on the left (passenger side) - with inter-changeable flags screaming your ‘allegiance-of-the-moment’. A sort of ‘Trojan Horse’ .

[libranof1987]

Sorry that you had to go through this. I can't imagine what you guys went through, especially the women, but can believe how absolutely horrible it must have felt then, and feels now.

I think you did a stellar job of getting out of the situation, and ensuring safety for yourself and the women with you, with minimal damage. There is seldom an outcome in such situations, where you're the winner. Unless of course, you're the filthier person.

Originally Posted by that_sedate_guy

I'm probably too much of a "walk away" kind of person but it just doesn't feel good to go behind such lowlifes, if you know what I mean.

I have no advice, except that you not think any less of yourself for how you handled this situation. Such people have nothing to lose, while you have everything to lose. Not just in that moment, but possibly, for the foreseeable future.

Also, don't be too hard on your friend that tried to defend herself. We're all only human after all.

Originally Posted by shankar.balan

This new age linguistic chauvinism and parochialism is increasingly prevalent in these newer areas of development especially around the agglomeration of village areas which are just outside of,
yet adjoining the central areas of Bangalore.

Absolutely. Not just Bangalore, everywhere.

[rajeevsulu]

This is very sad.
I was married to a girl from Bengaluru and for the last 18 years, I have never had any issue. My cars all have TN plates and i have made a zillion trips to Bengaluru and back and was stuck in the city during lockdown as well.
I have driven in the city and surroundings during some inopportune moments like the Veerappan crisis, when Dr. Rajkumaar passed away, Cauvery issue, Vaataal Nagaraj issue and never faced any issue.
I have very fond memories of the city, the state and the lovely people who live there and hope this is just a passing scene. You have handled the issue very well and hope you come out of the stress soon.
Cheers

[Fuldagap]

Originally Posted by that_sedate_guy

Friends, I'm still shaky as I type this. Not because I'm traumatised or anything but because I feel sick to the stomach like I'm going to throw up any time.

Very sorry to hear about your narration. It would definitely take time to get over it.
Please think again about not reporting to the police. Changing your living place or work place shouldn't come to your mind in my opinion. Don't go to the police if you really don't want to but things don't work like this in the real world. Initially the police would also try and make you underatand that filing an FIR would not be feasible for a family guy like yourself.

Staying the night was the best decision you took. They'd most probably have caused trouble again had you got into your car once more. Drunkards like these have fun unless they mess with the wrong guy one day.

After moving inside the house you should have called the police helpline. I'm confident you would have received assuring help from them. They get your gps location when you call them and a PCR would be there within 15 mins usually. Also, once you are able to file an FIR in such cases, you are not troubled by the police to visit them again and again. Maximum twice you would have gone to a station. For police, these are trivial issues that happen all the time but they do help a lot when drunkards are involved and females are misbehaved with. Whether you like it or not, want it or not, filing an FIR is key. Trust me.
Their gestures suggesting you call the police from their cellphones is what they know how to intimidate you further.

Anyways, you were in the situation and you know best. Bad things happen sometimes in life that shouldn't be taken to heart. Just try and let it go. Don't let go of the chicken dish, come on.

As another member has suggested, stay away from venturing out at night. Be it any metro city, not just Bangalore. And get that dashcam for sure now. Be happy, let it go. Shit happens!

[that_sedate_guy]

Originally Posted by shancz

It takes time for maturity and sense to develop and prevail.
I am not sure if I would've been able to keep calm during such an episode, hope I do.
Of course exercising caution as suggested in earlier posts would help.

It's very hard not to voice ourselves more in such predicaments but I continuously told myself that any word I spoke would get used against all of us. That helped with staying collected and not to lose it on those ruffians.

Originally Posted by shankar.balan

Just a jocular thought.
A sort of ‘Trojan Horse’ .

In retrospect, it is not actually that far fetched. It's kind of like an ID forge to get ourselves to somewhere we normally wouldn't be allowed to. Of course, it's just a thought but diving deeper, it actually makes sense as to why people might resort to unconventional ways to blend in where they're looked at differently.

Originally Posted by libranof1987

Such people have nothing to lose, while you have everything to lose.

You're very right. We commonly use a phrase in my hometown, "Getting angry and throwing a stone at a gutter is only going to splash the dirt on you" It's best to stay away. Like Jackie Chan's character said in 'The Karate Kid' movie - "The best fights are the ones we avoid"

Originally Posted by libranof1987

Also, don't be too hard on your friend that tried to defend herself. We're all only human after all.

Exactly. She did what felt right. It may not have been the best decision but it was her right decision and all of us respected it.

Originally Posted by rajeevsulu

and hope this is just a passing scene. You have handled the issue very well and hope you come out of the stress soon.
Cheers

I'm also telling myself that this is a case of sour grapes but it's not really easy to accept. I checked on my friend and her hubby. They're also feeling nauseous. My wife is finally sleeping a bit but she's quite troubled as well. She must've been completely terrified when the guy landed a punch on my cheekbone and eye. I'm sad she had to see that. I hope to come out of this soon too. We did do a compensatory short 40Km dinner drive, haha.

Originally Posted by Fuldagap

Changing your living place or work place shouldn't come to your mind in my opinion.
Staying the night was the best decision you took. They'd most probably have caused trouble again had you got into your car once more.
After moving inside the house you should have called the police helpline.
Their gestures suggesting you call the police from their cellphones is what they know how to intimidate you further.

Of course not going to change my career just because of two drunk fools and I'm definitely not going to bother with changing myself in any way actually. And yes, in hindsight, it may have helped but now that we're all starting to get to grips with it, I think it's better to give some time to heal it up and exercise caution and apply all these learnings the next time around.

Originally Posted by Fuldagap

Anyways, you were in the situation and you know best. Bad things happen sometimes in life that shouldn't be taken to heart. Just try and let it go. Don't let go of the chicken dish, come on.

Exactly! And no, my wife will come to terms with the cuisine, especially if I cook for her

Originally Posted by Fuldagap

As another member has suggested, stay away from venturing out at night. Be it any metro city, not just Bangalore. And get that dashcam for sure now. Be happy, let it go. Shit happens!

You're absolutely right about the timing just like the other's suggestion. Nights are just not safe out on the roads. Oh and the dashcam is definitely the next purchase.

To all: Guys, I'm just about to turn 28 this year and obviously I have so much to learn and experience. Your inputs, experiences, good thoughts and kind words are doing more than you realise. I'm actually feeling much lighter and less dreary about it all. Of course, the routes, roads etc. might kick up bad leaves but I think it'll all get bettter. Until then, I'm enjoying the insane fuel efficiency figures I'm getting on the Scorpio with daily usage inside the city

[MT_Hyderabad]

So many people involved, yet no one called the police, or noted down their number, or recorded or took pics? Am I still living in 2024?

You should go to the police station and register a complaint. They can be easily tracked by cameras installed around the place where it happened.

It is not for yesterday, but for your (and others) tomorrow.

Hooligans roam around in the night across the world. Just yesterday we heard that a 41 year old Indian was killed by one such hooligan. Time of the event: 1 am, somewhere in US.

[lsjey]

@that_sedate_guy, I think the situation was well handled. I presume(Because of the translations) that all of you can speak passable Kannada.

In an ideal world, this kinda incidents should not happen, and police should help. However, we live in less than ideal conditions. Here is what I instruct my family to do when in Bangalore:

1. When outside speak only in Kannada or English. No other language to be used. This applies even when talking on phone or when with friends.
2. If there has been any recent Kannada language protests or Cauvery/KA-Maharastra border issues related protests, then we never take our non KA registered vehicles to Bangalore.
3. Don’t go to places where finding transport will be difficult as in peak traffic times. And in unavoidable situations, don’t negotiate, but talk very politely and pay what the cabbie demands.
4. Address goons as “Saar…”, “Annavare…” ( Elder brother), and “Thumbaa thanks Ree…” (Much thanks Ji) and be very polite. Agree with whatever, they say.
5. Have a cover story ready for less than perfect knowledge of Kannada. Ex: We are originally from Bangalore, but our parents migrated out of Karnataka for jobs and we did not get a chance to learn the language properly. Pick up some sandalwood movies and watch them and learn some songs as well. Believe me, this has helped me when I got stuck during a bandh for Karnataka language issue and got quizzed by goons.

Besides all this language issues, I generally like the people of Karnataka. I moved to Bangalore in 1996, and had gone to an electrical store to buy some fans and tube lights for my home, I’d forgotten my wallet. The shopkeeper, asked me to take all the purchased items with out payment. He very easily and soothingly said “Paravagilla sir, naale duddu kodi…” (No problems sir, give money tomorrow). The kindness, respect for old people and welcome for strangers were the key ingredients of Bangalore. Thanks to politicians it is becoming just like any other large city filled with hate for each other.

Regards,
Lsjey

[shankar.balan]

Originally Posted by lsjey

@that_sedate_guy, I
In an ideal world, this kinda incidents should not
1. When outside speak only in Kannada or English. No other language to be used. (

The kindness, respect for old people and welcome for strangers were the key ingredients of Bangalore. Thanks to politicians it is becoming just like any other large city filled with hate for each other.

Regards,
Lsjey

1. If one is living in any city/ state/ country yes it is a nice polite thing to learn the local language.
2. BUT, I am NOT a supporter of doing all of this because of Fear. That smacks of rank Linguistic Nazism. And I will NEVER subscribe to that.
3. All those who live and work in any city, contribute to the commerce, economic development of that city and its local economy. So this kind of inter-state and inter community based hate-mongering cannot and should not be allowed to continue.
4. This is after all, One large Country. Why should anyone from anywhere in it be singled out for these unwelcome attentions? What gives ANY ‘local’ person the right to push other Non local people around? Bullying of any kind in any form, by any person, is simply not acceptable in any civilised society.
5. I would prefer to strongly advocate calm behaviour at all times. Discretion is the better part of valour hence ‘avoidance’ of situations first if alone or with weaker companions.
6. Next, when circumstances are unavoidable, self defence by way of dashboard cameras, loud alarm sound devices, police speed dialling and pepper spray cans/ devices.

All states have their good and bad. And yes indeed most average people in most states - the traders, the shop keepers, the local service providers, both of local and non-local origin, are nice decent people.

Nowadays in all bigger urban concentrations, most of these service providers too, are of different ethnicities. If the truth be told, the entire service economy nowadays in Bangalore, runs because of immigrants.

But here are some observations which are bound to be unpopular, yet true.

(Plato said, No Man is Hated More than He Who Tells the Truth.)

The popularly depicted film culture is another big advocate of rowdy behaviour - most of our typical so-called ‘heroes’ are no more than ‘rowdies’ indulging in motorcycle stunting on the public roads, stalking and eve-teasing on public transport and public spaces like malls and chest-beating and big talk and aggressive posing everywhere else along with all the rest of it.

And the youth are the ones most easily led astray and generally easily influenced by all this. If Marx said Religion is the Opiate of the Masses then in India, generally, the movies are the Opiate of the Masses.

This leads to a self perpetuating vicious cycle. And there is a general break down of law and order, cpupled with a fear of certain ‘local’ communities; on the part of the politicians, the ‘guardians’ and the police force, the ‘enforcers’ themselves. This emboldens the lumpen elements.

And that is why I advocate what I wrote above.