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National sports authority running a car dealership?

:D

A car dealership sponsored by sai. Suresh kalmadi has a financial interest in sai motors, the multi state msil dealership.

Some CWG one liners received in a forwarded mail. I know some have already been posted here, please don't condor me. :D

1) BREAKING NEWS: Suresh Kamadi just tried to hang himself in the CWG
stadium. But the ceiling collapsed!!

2) The truth behind bulk sms banning is to stop kalmadi jokes and not
Ayodhya verdict :uncontrol

3) Look at the brighter side; the more countries pull out, the higher
India is ranked in the final medal's tally.

4) Terrorists set to skip CWG 2010 citing unlivable conditions and fear
for their safety.

5) Q: How many contractors are required to change a light bulb in Delhi
CWG stadium?
A: 1 Million. (1 to change bulb and rest 999,999 to hold the ceiling)

6) Whats common between CWG committee and students???
Ans: both start their preparations at the 11th hour.....

7) Prince Charles is actively convincing the Queen to visit dengue hit
Delhi, this may be his last chance to become the king!

8) Thanks to Guernsey and Jersey for threatening to pull out of games!
We now know these countries existed!

9) Ek waqt aisa aayega, kalmadi bhi sharmayega

10) A collapse a day keeps the athletes away

11) Ba ba Kalmadi, have you any shame. No sir, No sir, we are having a
Common Loot Game. Crores for my partner, crores for the dame, crores for
me too, for spoiling India's name!

12) AMAZING BUT TRUE: If you re-arrange the letters "Sir U made lakhs"
you get "SURESH KALMADI

13) next edition of CWG will be called KWG, Kalmadi Wealth Games

Rohan

Here is the latest on Ayodhya

It is good that Lord Ram gets some part of land for his own because now
Sita(ji) is running a travel agency
Maruti(ji) is making cars
Laxman(ji) is playing cricket
Raavan(ji) has joined bollywood and
there is peace in Lanka
So jo hota hai woh achhey ke liye hi hota hai!

But, think of it, even the Lord himself had to approach their lordships for his righs.

^^ Well that is what Kalyug is all about.

Got this on twitter

Gandhi's last words were - 'Hey Ram', Ponting's last words would be 'Hey laxman'

Did you know the movie Robot/ Indhiran was shot in less than 30 minutes.

The shooting started and within 10 mins Rajni got bored. So he simply changed the speed of time. What felt like 2 years for all of us was in reality just 20 mins.

Teacher: Tell Me '5' Water Animals ?

Ismail Bhai: Kya Bolri Re Jahangir Inne...?

Jahangir: Paani Mein Kon Rehte Puchri.

Ismail Bhai: Fish Rehti Madam..!

Teacher: Good. Tel Me the Other '4'.

Ismail Bhai: Ab Kya Puchri..?

Jahangir: Aur 4 Kon Rehte Puchri.

Ismail Bhai: Maki kirkiri itta Bi Nai Maloom..
Fish Ki Amma, Uska Bawa, Uski Behen, Aur Uska Bhai...

PS: No offence.

Cheers,

Women Friends chatting in office....

Woman 1: I had a fine evening, how was yours?
Woman 2: it was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?
Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairytale!


At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.....

Husband 1: How was your evening?
Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?
Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour; and when we got home remember there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house! After all, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour!

^^ Oh my God, that was great. clap:

I forwarded the same to all my friends (including some female colleagues) :uncontrol

Rohan

A friend sent this over in an e-mail :

LOVING WIFE

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.
Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal he can take to work. And for dinner, prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don’t burden him with chores, as this could
further his stress.
Don’t discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie and giving him plenty of backrubs. Encourage him to watch some type of team sporting event on television. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health.

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

"You’re going to die," she replied.

Rajnikanth facts

You want to know who is Rajanikanth....here are the facts

Rajanikanth makes onions cry

Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

Rajanikanth can build a snowman..... out of rain.

Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Rajanikanth can drown a fish.
When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on,......... .... he turns the dark off.

When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards.

Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.

The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.

Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Rajanikanth' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajanikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.

Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.

It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.

Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.

Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.

When you say "no one's perfect", Rajnikanth takes this as a personal insult.

Today, yet another biker cut me through non existent space leaving a huge scratch on my car's front bumper and I am going mad if I were to take it seriously. So let me put that as a joke!

I have heard of others but this one is zimbly :uncontrol