Team-BHP - The Official Joke thread

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My favorite CAR-toon featuring the W140

Got the following in e-mail:

Quote:

Tiny Truths:

1. Notice at Church, Mandir & Gurudwaras:'' Do not leave your mobile; purses, wallets, hand-bags, girl friends unattended... Others may think it is an answer to their Prayers:''..

2. Who is a Psychiatrist?..A qualified person who gives you an expensive and critical analysis about yourself, which your spouse gives for free, daily too..!

3. Scotch is a brilliant invention..........One double and you start feeling single again..;

4. Global recession and financial crisis have become so critical and serious now-a-days that...the majority of men have started loving their own wives..!!

5. No matter how many times the Teeth bite the Tongue..They still stay together in one Mouth;That is the Spirit of ' Forgiveness '...!!!

Rediff article on Ninja ZX-10R today

The Ninja ZX10R figures...the 998cc, in-line four engine produces a mind numbing 197 HP of peak power at an insanely high 13,000 RPM while torque output is 112 Nm at 11,500 RPM.

0-100 km/hr in 2.8 seconds, 0-160 km/hr in 5.5 seconds, 0-240 km/hr in 10 seconds and 0-299 km/hr in 18 seconds. That's not fast, that's the acceleration you do if you are on afterburner.

and a fine analysis from a fellow Indian on discussion board.

Earth to Heaven in 2 seconds. if used in indian roads.:uncontrol

Morgan Freeman gets trolled but this time in real. lol:

Quote:

Actor Morgan Freeman mistaken for Nelson Mandela in billboard gaffe.

The billboard was erected on the side of a road in Coimbatore in Tamil Nadu as part of memorials across India and the world to Nelson Mandela.

SOURCE

There was a group of women gathered at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband.

The women were asked, "How many of you love your husbands?" All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?" Some women answered today, some yesterday, some didn't remember.

The women were then told to take their cell phones and send the following text to their respective husband: I love you, sweetheart. Then the women were told to exchange phones and read the responding text messages.

Here are some of the replies:
1. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?
2. What now? Did you crash the car again?
3. I don't understand what you mean?
4. What did you do now? I won't forgive you this time!!!
5. ?!?
6. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
7. Am I dreaming????????
8. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, you will die today...!!!
9. I asked you not to drink anymore!!
... & the best one
10. Who is this

Hi everybody.
Out of state drivers have been harassed by cops to no end.
Here is an amazing cartoon from Times of India( 25/12/2013) on this topic.
Only difference is that the driver is Santa Claus.
Enjoy
http://epaper.timesofindia.com/Defau...&ViewMode=HTML

Every time I drive our family car back at home, dad's reaction: