YetiBlog® February 1999 - continued The Jeep's broken down. I'm slipping away. We've just found out the the accelerator cable is broken and that's not something that can be fixed.
Dom's taken my maglite and Haji and him are chatting excitedly outside. Haji cannot understand what Dom is saying, Dom has no idea what Haji's problem is.
I am delirious and in pain. I must be strong. Sam! be strong!
Suddenly the stupidest thing that can ever happen to a man in this situation happens. I start singing. Not only am I singing, I am enjoying it immensely. I am Iron man daah daah dahdahdah dadadadadada daduhduhdah
Has he lost his mind?
Can he see or is he blind?
Can he walk at all,
Or if he moves will he fall? daah daah dahdahdah dadadadadada daduhduhdah
Is he alive or dead?
Has he thoughts within his head?
Well just pass him there
Why should we even care? The more pain I am in, the louder I am singing. I am shaking my head and roaring the lyrics out.
The ladies are looking at me in shock. I know this must look ridiculous to anyone, especially if they cannot understand why I am singing in a nasal voice like a certain Mr. Osbourne. I am grinning. Yup, if I die then I want to die this way. daah daah dahdahdah dadadadadada daduhduhdah Suddenly Dom comes to the back of the Jeep. Sam, let me see your trousers. I stare at him blankly. He lifts my shirt. AHA! Tie-up pants, just as I suspected.
He's undoing my pants. I hold his hand and look at him. What are you doing Dom?
I need the cord that holds your pants Sam. I'm going to fix the Jeep. I look at him incredulously, I am hallucinating. Did he just say he's going to repair the Jeep with my pajame ka naada? Man this hallucination stuff is crazy!
But he is really undoing my pants! First the Spanish lady, now an Englishman. This is not how I want to die!
Dom is talking to me kindly even as he is undoing my pants and pulling the cord out. I had an old Citroen in college you know, and one day the throttle cable snapped. I had no money to buy a new one so I tied some fishing tackle line to the throttle and pulled from the drivers seat. It worked till the end of the month till I could afford a new cable.
Soon Dom has gone with my trouser cord and my pants are round my knees. I look like I am in the toilet, all I'm missing is a newspaper. daah daah dahdahdah dadadadadada daduhduhdah Dominic is a genius, I'll give him that. He's somehow managed to tie the cord to the throttle lever and now when he yanks, the jeep revs.
He guides the naada out from under the bonnet and towards the passenger side. COR says he, it's too short!
(YetiNote: I do not actually know if he said Cor, but it sounds about right for an Englishman to say something like that in a situation like this) Nah wait, I can manage, Faye, hold me.
I stop singing with my pants around my knees and turn and stare at the goings-on (much to the girls' relief who think that I'm quite potty. Pun intended.)
Faye runs to the front bench and sits between Haji and Dom. Dom sticks himself out of the jeep (the jeep has no doors in the front) holding onto the funny handle type thing on the dash. Faye holds his legs inside the jeep.
He pulls. VROOM VROOM.
Haji presses the clutch, puts her into first, looks at Dom, Dom yanks the cord, Haji releases the clutch. We're OFF!
Dom loosens the cord, CHANGE!
Haji quickly gets her into second, dom pulls the cord VROOM and haji releases the clutch. The Jeep lurches forward but carries on. Takes on some speed and...
Dom loosens the cord, CHANGE!!
Haji presses the clutch, slides her into third, Dom yanks the cord, VROOOMM, LURCHHH, we're doing 50 or 60 now. YAAAAHAAAAAAA! screams Dom YIPPEEE yells Faye! WOOOHOOOO! shouts Haji daah daah dahdahdah dadadadadada daduhduhdah
We're going to make it. We have to.
I refuse to die with my trousers around my knees. To be Continued.
Last edited by Sam Kapasi : 3rd May 2008 at 18:19.
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