Got this by email this morning. It really puts things in perspective IMO;
Tamils are always proud to be Tamizhs ; Pretty courteous (that is what
they think, at least!). They speak yenglish but sorry, no indi (Hindi).
The more common Madarasi (chennaisi...,now?) is an ardent fan of
kireeket matches wharever he may be.
Their counterparts in Bombay think they live in America but speak
Hinglish like ...'are you sure ki Sujata aa rahi hai ya Ill go akela!'
And they take great pride in making stupid mistakes in Hindi Grammar.
The BEST hypocrites in the world. Kyaa...m
Thamizhs, are verrry lecky to have 'simble' neighbours in the keralites
who are a komblex race of peoblle (they migrated around 2000 B.C. from
the middle east, I guess; and now even the Sheikhs feel wary of them)but
they have excellent GK , eat a lot of chooclyte and own 99.998765% of
tyre shops in the world and form 99% of nursing community.
Not far behind the kerals is the telugu desam, who are totally againesht
flaunting their wealthu to the woruldu, though they occasionally come
out withu brick red shirtsu and parrot green pantsu with pleetsu
(pleats). Worustu, no?! But they (think) are greatu in CICSu,Microsu and
COBOLu! Generally sane peoplesu (and so you can always findu them
judgingu, probhingu, queschioningu othersu ...)
The Canadians, excuse me, the Kannadigas aor (are) the coolest in the
south but if there is political unrest in Hersogovnia oare (or) an ebola
virus outbreak in Zaire, they bash up the Tamils in Karnataka. Cauvery
very bad! When it comes to Rajkumar (actor), if a fly sits on his nose,
theyll burn the entire city of Benglore to kill the fly! To hell with
Silicon valley! I-ron firshtu, girlu, Lasht Bussu, roadu, crickeatu,
filamu are some of their favourites.
Maharashtrians are a conservative, confused, complex lot-kar. -Kar, that
is because gavasakar, tendulkar, bahulkar.. confused?? that is because
sitting in southern part of India they would ask the other person 'are
you from Maharashtra or from South India..?' and genuinely wonder why
the other person takes some time to answer the question. They like the
principles of pheejix and their favourite character in the alphabet is
Zay (god knows where that came from). Although soft, peace loving people
but they elect the Shivsena to rule them.
And right there next to the Maharashtrians are the Gujjubhais. They like
to keep kes in the benk and their favourite past time is eating snakes
like paav bhaji, masala papad and pijja at the local snake bar. They
gobble down alak sev like their life depends on it and believe in the
brotherhood of man and sisterhood of woman(everybody is a bhai or a
ben).
If you go further eesht, you land uf Udissa- the land of irron (r is
stressed) where sombalpuroa and Bhubaneshbara are big towns. The people
are bery cordial and if you are Vikram they bill soorly ask you B or
Bhe. They do not sout, sam or soot but occasnally bawsh their phace at
the wasbashin. James Bond Mohanty in our colleze roll nomber jero, jero,
sebhen. AAnd his brother was Asees (Ashish).
Bengalees are bery bery similor, but or bery proud oph Subas Chondro
Boash and Shoatyojit Roy (I used to know a director by name Satyajit Ray
who was also pretty good) and everybody is Xda. I used to havbe a friend
by name Dada. Wonder... never mind. Bot I most conphess, Roshgollas are
bery goooood, tho!
Bihari kids are supposed to be the smartest kids in India (if not in he
universe!). How we wish they grow up the same way,...but... And Biharees
are bery phond of Laloo, Rabdi, Ranchi, Chaara. ka isse bhadiya tumre
pass kooch hai, kaa?! spit spit... spit paan..
UPites and MPites are busy going to ischool with their Ishstainless
ishsteel tiffin boxes and istudying metals to make lots of ishteel.
Punjabis are very sweet and aggressive and offer Rotti Shotti Khayega!
to which I once replied No. He said Tage itu, yaar! By Godu!
Surjeetu,what happenedu, oi?!. Then of course,everybodys a paappe or a
kaakke.Thats Pnjab for you.
And Kashmir (called Cashmir by many, may be because of the amount of
cash spent to keep it in India)?!? I know Roja (or Roza?)was shot (I
mean filmed) somewhere nearby...
But at the end of the day, wherever you are in the world, whether it is
in Sunnyvale, CA; Birmingham, UK; UmmAl Quwain, UAE or Serangoon Road,
Singapore, ask them who they are and you'll get just one answer -
'INDIAN'.