Team-BHP (https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/)

-   Et Cetera (https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/et-cetera/)

-   -   The Official Joke thread (https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/et-cetera/2439-official-joke-thread-237.html)

I too had missed this thread completely. Thanks for raking this up. Had a laugh of my life.

Mansi

Discount offered in a super market i frequent.

Man, fantastic discount!

Looks like the effect of the Global Slowdown! Even discounts are slowing down :D

This is a list of comments from test papers, essays, etc., submitted to science and health teachers by elementary, junior high, high school, and college students: It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades. The spellings are the original ones.

1. H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.

2. To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

3. When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

4. Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is water and gin.

5. A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.

6. Liter: A nest of young puppies.

7. Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

8. Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away.

9. Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.

10. Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.

11. The pistol of the flower is its only protection against insects.

12. A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it is.

13. To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

14. For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower that the heart until the heart stops.

15. For head colds: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.

16. Germinate: To become a naturalized German.

17. The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

18. Blood flows down one leg and up the the other.

A market place in Sarita vihar/thereabouts...

Other than the name Kutty and the specific mention of Thiruvananthapuram, I dont see anything malayalee in this. Change these 2 and it could be from any non-English literate person.

How to fix parking problems ;)





Amazing cartoon from XKCD

"Police claim three dozen cheerful bystanders, yet no one claims to have seen who did it."
LOL.

"I don't think it is a given that it will suddenly be a winning design. You would like to imagine that it would be better than what they were given last year but I think the team at the back of the grid potentially could be Honda."
David Coulthard on Brawn GP before the start of the 2009 season

autosport.com - F1 News: Coulthard warns Button over future

Noticed this in someone's signature on another forum.

That's Rs. 1 discount???
They are fooling us or themselves???:uncontrol

You might be Mortar Logistics Engineer. But still you are a ___________

Guess, who are these???

1. Beverage Dissemination Officer
2. Color Distribution Technician
3. Customer Experience Enhancement Consultant
4. Domestic Technician
5. Education Center Nourishment Consultant
6. Highway Environmental Hygienist
7. Field Nourishment Consultant
8. Five a Day Collection Operative
9. Front Line Customer Support Facilitator
10. Gastronomical Hygiene Technician
11. Mass Production Engineer
12. Media Distribution Officer
13. Mobile Sustenance Facilitator
14. Mortar Logistics Engineer
15. Petroleum Transfer Engineer
16. Recycling Operative
17. Sanitation Consultant
18. Coin Facilitation Engineer
19. Transparency Enhancement Facilitator
20. (finally one for TBHP) Vehicle Restoration Engineer

Answers: Top 20 jargon-filled job titles

What is the height of disappointment?
A woman finding out after a long search on the internet that Philip's 21 inch was actually a TV!

Has anybody seen this report on Tata Xenon -

Tata launches Xenon XT : Watch Cars

Copied here -

As you feature it, Tata launches the Xenon XT in Mumbai. Unlike the 207 or Tatamobile this newborn Xenon XT is positioned as style SUV not a pick-up. The newborn Xenon XT (Cross Terrain) is a digit equipage var. and crapper comfortably centre 5. Xenon XT also offers 870L of weight bay. Xenon XT is supercharged by the widely acknowledged 2.2 VTT DICOR diesel engine with a extreme noesis of 140 PS and a extreme force of 320 Nm. Xenon XT also comes with an on the control 4WD which lets you to alter to AWD with ease. Tata has crowded Xenon XT with hosts of richness and lavatory features same noesis steering, noesis windows, bicentric locking, HVAC (Heating Ventilation and Air Conditioning), electrically adjustable lateral side analyse mirrors and peak adjustable centre belts. Xenon also comes armored with an engine immobiliser, centre track warning & entranceway unstoppered warning, 16 progress impureness wheels and tubeless tyres. solon info are expected
Update: Xenon XT is priced at Rs. 7.62 lacs for the 4×2 edition and Rs. 8.58 lacs for the 4×4 version, ex panopticon Delhi. It comes in 4 captivating specs – White, Black, Silver and Mineral Red. The container carries a warranty of 2 eld or 75000 kms (whichever is earlier) and module be retailed finished 58 Tata Passenger Car dealerships crossways 39 cities to begin with. The Xenon is already existence retailed in the foreign markets of Thailand, Algeria, Italy, Poland, Arabian peninsula and South Africa.

Looks like someone is using a content rewriter to create original content.
Content rewriters usually replace words with their synonyms.
Results are usually hilarious.