Life's like that: Real life anecdotes

Proxima · 10th February 2009, 15:02

Thanks SB. LOL. Awesome ones here, and it really helps if you have good narration skills.

Jaggu · 10th February 2009, 15:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by normally_crazy

LOL Sam

This happens to me everytime -

I call up my friend - tring tring and the phone is picked off the hook at the other end.

Me - kya be, kya kar raha hai ?
Friend - Uhh - hello ?
---
Me (now ALARMED) - Hello, XXXXXX ?
Friend's POP - Ek minute (calls out - Arre XXXX tera phone hai)

Another scene 15 years back, father and dad having very similar voice.

Chirpy girl friend calls and carry the conversation of lil hanky panky stuff that happened with the son, half an hour back when they met, with dad!

HellwratH · 10th February 2009, 15:23

Haha..nice ones all of you. Some of the things that happened at my work place.

Recently I get a mail from my HR, and it goes like this..

Dear HW,

Your abc Meal Card will be distributed as per the schedule given below.

Your Location listed with us is blah, Bangalore India; if they is a change please send a meal to hhhh@yyyy.com with the subject Meal Card Location Changes. (Taking cash in our company is illegal. :P )

Another one happened between my super boss (Will call him John) in the US and his counter part with the client (Let's call him Ron). As this was a new account, we from Bangalore were trying to test videoconferencing, teleconferencing etc. So, now John is really pis*ed off because he hasn't been able to get this done for a few days and he sent a pretty harsh mail to Ron. Now, Ron being a client got even more pis*ed and sends out a reply to that marking everyone in the world including me.

The email read something like this,

John,

This is not we expect from a company like you and blah blah. My secretary Lucy did try to contact your "Vag*na" office on so and so date and there was no response.. I was like

and I read it over and over to confirm if that was the word he had written. And even if Ron did do a spell check it would have skipped it as it is a valid word!

P.S: He was refering to the Virginia office.

More to come from my side.

amitoj · 10th February 2009, 15:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by vid6639

This happened during my college days.
--------
--------
--------
Friend: Oops that did not strike me at the time. I was more afraid they would jump into the car.
Me: (lots of expletives follow)

Vidyut, that one really truly deserves to be in Readers' Digest!

bblost · 10th February 2009, 15:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaggu

Another scene 15 years back, father and dad having very similar voice.

Chirpy girl friend calls and carry the conversation of lil hanky panky stuff that happened with the son, half an hour back when they met, with dad!

are they not the same person.

Technocrat · 10th February 2009, 15:38

I believe he meant Father & Son

Samurai · 10th February 2009, 16:52

You can put Baloo in the Bhariable.

This is from the most hilerious interview experience I had about 3 years back. Here was a candidate with very thick mother tongue influence. We spent half the interview asking him to repeat his words.

How do you put Baloo in the Bhariable? He meant to say put the value in the variable.

Now the clincher, I still remember this one.

Me: Alright, why did you choose computer science?
He: Because it is a light field.
Me: What? Why is it a light field, you mean low entry barrier?
He: No.. because there is lot of light on it...
Me: Huh!
He: Hmm...er... (now in Hindi) Komputer main bhavisya ujjwal ya prakashman hain. (back in English) Lot of light on it.
Me:

paharino1 · 10th February 2009, 17:03

This happened 10 yrs back
Dad to me : Beta, during Diwali holidays, coming in Karnataka Express, a friend of mine has requested that his daughter is travelling alone, can u call her on xxxx & sync up - both of you are travelling on the same date.
Me : sure
I got in touch - swapped seats & were chatting away happily in the 42 hr journey..
In a train station , she : looks like a long stop, i'll get myself some biscuits
me : u be seated, i'll get it
she : no no , i want to walk a little as well
me : OK, i'll give u company

She buys her biscuits, i am drinking a cold drink & the trains starts...
me : oops..train chal gayi hai..

she starts running like a sprinter to our coach shouting to me : chalo chalo apna dabba aage nikal gaya hai...itna bhagna padega ..jaldi...warna train miss ho jaayegi

me shouting in vain : arre kisi bhi coach me chad jaao....!!!

she keeps on running, finally i catch up with her & push her into a coach not ours...& we walk back peacefully to our coach...
guess what..she still didnt get it - till i told her - arre baba train ke dabbe connected hain !!!!!!

hemanthisgreat · 10th February 2009, 17:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samurai

You can put Baloo in the Bhariable.

This is from the most hilerious interview experience I had about 3 years back.

Before anyone else raises the question, let me ask. Did he get selected.

manaa45 · 10th February 2009, 17:35

This happened to me around 10 years back when i used to go to a salon for my regular girly things. I had got friendly with the girls out there and one fine day they asked me to narrate some jokes. I said that I knew a few jokes on sardars and asked one of the girls to check if there was any Sardarni in the salon, if yes it is better not to crack the Sardar Jokes lest it embarasses them.

She went to check it and came back very excited about the fact that there was no sardarni in the salon at that time and I asked her how she knew it she explained to me with all action denoting a Sardar with Pagdi. We all burst out laughing till she realised that Sardarnis dont wear Pagdis.

Mansi

vivekiny2k · 10th February 2009, 20:27

I walk into the room with my room mate X trying to talk to Y from India team. The phone was on spekaer so I could hear both sides of the conversation.

X: Hello!
Y: Hello!
X: Hey Y, Can you hear me?
Y: Hello X, Can you hear me?
. are you getting my voice?
. do you want me to call again?
.

goes on for a while till I finally lose my patience. "for god's sake will you guys talk to each other". Then they realise both were actually able to hear each other.

Vid6639 · 10th February 2009, 20:37

Waiting for a friend to arrive.

Me and a couple of my friend's are waiting for a friend to arrive when suddenly we spot him waving at us sitting inside an auto. He waves and the auto drives past. We look at each other wondering why he didn't get down. We see the auto stop finally but almost 200-300metres ahead. The chap gets down and begins his walk back towards us.

When he arrives, all have the same look and we are like wondering why he didn't get off right next to us. Like a proud hero pat comes the reply,

"No dudes, I didn't have change so just waited for the auto meter to tick over to a round figure, then told the auto driver to stop."

Silence prevails and all of us stare at him in amazement till realization dawns upon him about the level of stupidity of his act.

shivshanker · 10th February 2009, 20:40

a very small incident in my office,

One our our support engineer was mad with a Data center manager as he was being asked to input hourly performance data into an excel s/sheet while on a night shift.

While handing over, he send a mail.. stating that the required work has been done and the manager has to clean up his "****".

What the poor guy meant was that the data has been inserted, as requested and that the s/sheet needs to be cleaned up for presenting the data.

Instead of writing "sheet" .. this person writes "****"

We all did have a good laugh ...

Cheers!

Samurai · 10th February 2009, 21:14

This happened around 1992, while I was in TCS.

A very senior manager walks into our floor and asks my colleague for an Oracle Database server. Upon finding that none was available, he orders one server to be immediately setup with Oracle. Since the guy was very senior, my colleague runs around and get the Oracle database installed and ready by next day. Those days it was a major task, getting servers, installations tapes, creating partitions, etc. Takes up whole day or more.

Next day upon hearing that the Oracle installation was ready, the very senior manager hands over a floppy disk and says "There are some dBase III datafiles in this disk, kindly import the data and print it for me."

My colleague was stunned... You see, those days dBase III software was loaded in practically every machine. The ignorant senior manager didn't know how to read the data on dBase III files provided by the client, he figured Oracle is the answer.

As the senior manager walked out of the room, all the people in hearing distance of this scene burst into laughter.

Quote:

Originally Posted by hemanthisgreat

Before anyone else raises the question, let me ask. Did he get selected.

No, not by a light year.

ritayan · 10th February 2009, 22:25

Brings me to what happened about nearly 22 years back, new years eve in Calcutta. We had this family tradition of aunts, uncles getting together with kids having drinks and dinner, then driving down to Park Street for the festivities and parking on Outram Ghat Rd at 12 to listen to the ships hoot. So this year we had a Gypsy and i had taken the top off so as to get wind in our hair. After crossing Park Street one uncle asked for a stop as he wanted to releve himself near the maidan and I go along as well to do the same. Both standing in the dark I ask him what he though of the celeprations this year, he replys the croug is a bit thin this year as New Years Eve this year is at the end of the month effecting peoples spending capiablity.

Till this day i ask him is new years at the bigining or end of the month this year.

10th February 2009, 15:02	#16
Proxima BHPian Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Chennai Posts: 934 Thanked: 385 Times	Thanks SB. LOL. Awesome ones here, and it really helps if you have good narration skills.
	() Thanks

10th February 2009, 15:23	#18
HellwratH BHPian Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Bangalore Posts: 115 Thanked: 57 Times	Haha..nice ones all of you. Some of the things that happened at my work place. Recently I get a mail from my HR, and it goes like this.. Dear HW, Your abc Meal Card will be distributed as per the schedule given below. Your Location listed with us is blah, Bangalore India; if they is a change please send a meal to hhhh@yyyy.com with the subject Meal Card Location Changes. (Taking cash in our company is illegal. :P ) Another one happened between my super boss (Will call him John) in the US and his counter part with the client (Let's call him Ron). As this was a new account, we from Bangalore were trying to test videoconferencing, teleconferencing etc. So, now John is really pised off because he hasn't been able to get this done for a few days and he sent a pretty harsh mail to Ron. Now, Ron being a client got even more pised and sends out a reply to that marking everyone in the world including me. The email read something like this, John, This is not we expect from a company like you and blah blah. My secretary Lucy did try to contact your "Vag*na" office on so and so date and there was no response.. I was like and I read it over and over to confirm if that was the word he had written. And even if Ron did do a spell check it would have skipped it as it is a valid word! P.S: He was refering to the Virginia office. More to come from my side.
	() Thanks

10th February 2009, 15:38	#21
Technocrat Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: GTA Posts: 14,765 Thanked: 2,705 Times	I believe he meant Father & Son
	() Thanks

10th February 2009, 16:52	#22
Samurai Team-BHP Support Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Bangalore/Udupi Posts: 26,012 Thanked: 50,116 Times View My Garage	You can put Baloo in the Bhariable. This is from the most hilerious interview experience I had about 3 years back. Here was a candidate with very thick mother tongue influence. We spent half the interview asking him to repeat his words. How do you put Baloo in the Bhariable? He meant to say put the value in the variable. Now the clincher, I still remember this one. Me: Alright, why did you choose computer science? He: Because it is a light field. Me: What? Why is it a light field, you mean low entry barrier? He: No.. because there is lot of light on it... Me: Huh! He: Hmm...er... (now in Hindi) Komputer main bhavisya ujjwal ya prakashman hain. (back in English) Lot of light on it. Me:
	(2) Thanks

10th February 2009, 17:03	#23
paharino1 BHPian Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Hyderabad, India Posts: 299 Thanked: 30 Times	This happened 10 yrs back Dad to me : Beta, during Diwali holidays, coming in Karnataka Express, a friend of mine has requested that his daughter is travelling alone, can u call her on xxxx & sync up - both of you are travelling on the same date. Me : sure I got in touch - swapped seats & were chatting away happily in the 42 hr journey.. In a train station , she : looks like a long stop, i'll get myself some biscuits me : u be seated, i'll get it she : no no , i want to walk a little as well me : OK, i'll give u company She buys her biscuits, i am drinking a cold drink & the trains starts... me : oops..train chal gayi hai.. she starts running like a sprinter to our coach shouting to me : chalo chalo apna dabba aage nikal gaya hai...itna bhagna padega ..jaldi...warna train miss ho jaayegi me shouting in vain : arre kisi bhi coach me chad jaao....!!! she keeps on running, finally i catch up with her & push her into a coach not ours...& we walk back peacefully to our coach... guess what..she still didnt get it - till i told her - arre baba train ke dabbe connected hain !!!!!!
	(2) Thanks

10th February 2009, 17:35	#25
manaa45 BHPian Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: nerul, navi mum Posts: 359 Thanked: 49 Times	This happened to me around 10 years back when i used to go to a salon for my regular girly things. I had got friendly with the girls out there and one fine day they asked me to narrate some jokes. I said that I knew a few jokes on sardars and asked one of the girls to check if there was any Sardarni in the salon, if yes it is better not to crack the Sardar Jokes lest it embarasses them. She went to check it and came back very excited about the fact that there was no sardarni in the salon at that time and I asked her how she knew it she explained to me with all action denoting a Sardar with Pagdi. We all burst out laughing till she realised that Sardarnis dont wear Pagdis. Mansi
	() Thanks

10th February 2009, 20:27	#26
vivekiny2k Senior - BHPian Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: cincinnati, jabalpur,chennai Posts: 1,264 Thanked: 212 Times View My Garage	I walk into the room with my room mate X trying to talk to Y from India team. The phone was on spekaer so I could hear both sides of the conversation. X: Hello! Y: Hello! X: Hey Y, Can you hear me? Y: Hello X, Can you hear me? . are you getting my voice? . do you want me to call again? . goes on for a while till I finally lose my patience. "for god's sake will you guys talk to each other". Then they realise both were actually able to hear each other.
	() Thanks

10th February 2009, 20:37	#27
Vid6639 Team-BHP Support Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Bangalore Posts: 17,690 Thanked: 44,156 Times View My Garage	Waiting for a friend to arrive. Me and a couple of my friend's are waiting for a friend to arrive when suddenly we spot him waving at us sitting inside an auto. He waves and the auto drives past. We look at each other wondering why he didn't get down. We see the auto stop finally but almost 200-300metres ahead. The chap gets down and begins his walk back towards us. When he arrives, all have the same look and we are like wondering why he didn't get off right next to us. Like a proud hero pat comes the reply, "No dudes, I didn't have change so just waited for the auto meter to tick over to a round figure, then told the auto driver to stop." Silence prevails and all of us stare at him in amazement till realization dawns upon him about the level of stupidity of his act.
	(1) Thanks

10th February 2009, 20:40	#28
shivshanker BHPian Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Mumbai Posts: 350 Thanked: 207 Times View My Garage	a very small incident in my office, One our our support engineer was mad with a Data center manager as he was being asked to input hourly performance data into an excel s/sheet while on a night shift. While handing over, he send a mail.. stating that the required work has been done and the manager has to clean up his "**". What the poor guy meant was that the data has been inserted, as requested and that the s/sheet needs to be cleaned up for presenting the data. Instead of writing "sheet" .. this person writes "**" We all did have a good laugh ... Cheers!
	() Thanks

10th February 2009, 22:25	#30
ritayan BHPian Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Back in Delhi Posts: 228 Thanked: 48 Times View My Garage	Brings me to what happened about nearly 22 years back, new years eve in Calcutta. We had this family tradition of aunts, uncles getting together with kids having drinks and dinner, then driving down to Park Street for the festivities and parking on Outram Ghat Rd at 12 to listen to the ships hoot. So this year we had a Gypsy and i had taken the top off so as to get wind in our hair. After crossing Park Street one uncle asked for a stop as he wanted to releve himself near the maidan and I go along as well to do the same. Both standing in the dark I ask him what he though of the celeprations this year, he replys the croug is a bit thin this year as New Years Eve this year is at the end of the month effecting peoples spending capiablity. Till this day i ask him is new years at the bigining or end of the month this year.
	(1) Thanks