[patwardhan]

Given a choice I would love to be chauffeur driven in Mumbai, where driving during the day is like a punishment. Especially after you have spent long hours in office & your brain is in no mood to take anymore stress.
I usually drive when travelling out of Mumbai after Vashi toll. But will not quit for sure.

Ola/ Uber has prompted many to opt for leisure driving than doing it regularly in our traffic congested cities

[Horizon85]

Originally Posted by GTO

No, no, no, no, no . . Live to drive, brother

Very well written. So happy after reading this thread. All responses are so positive and well articulated along with practicality. That's why I Love this place.

[ZenMaster]

Originally Posted by carnutfrombanga

I have driven about 115,000 km in 5 years
.
.
.
.
I hope the dog survived with minor injuries or at least died quickly if it was more serious.
.
.
I know that running into an animal on the highway is quite common but makes me realize that it's only a matter of time before I get into a more serious accident involving a vehicle or person considering the number of close shaves.
.
.
I , I am thinking of quitting driving but I won't be able to for at least the next 6 months.
.
.
I can't afford to keep a driver for highway trips.
.
.
How do other bhp-ians cope?
.
.
PS: it's been a cathartic experience just writing this post

Is it your driving that you have fallen out of love or is it your occupation. It seems to me that most of your travel is because of your job/business obligations and that you are just exhausted with all the "Driving" and the various untoward incidents that have happened, especially involving animals. From what I have read you possess a lot of affection towards animals and value the life of other people as much as your own.

Quitting driving is just running away from the problem and not a solution. You would just be passing on the responsibility of caring for the life of others on the road to another person who would most probably be much less careful than you.

Animals on the road is something none of us can control and neither can you. Its not your fault that your car was at the place the dog or other animal decided to jump onto the road nor was it the animal's fault. It's all part of the circle of life. I believe that some things will happen no matter how much you try to prevent it or divert it. Someone else driving would not have stopped the dog from jumping into moving traffic.

By that logic the idiots doing 180 kmph are better driver since they didn't hit.


What I personally think is that you need is a long VACATION ! Away from your job and the calls and the obligatory monotonous driving that seems to have exhausted your love for driving. Its seems to me that driving has become that unpaid, unappreciated part of your job that exhausts you daily.

If your job obligations and the extensive driving that accopanies it, is something you cannot avoid, I wouldn't be against hiring a trusted driver "Ocassionally" when you just don't feel like driving and if you can afford it "Ocassionally". Why would you remove a caring and careful driver like yourself from the road and give that control to someone else who probably would not be any of that.

Just go back in time, and remember what it was that made you fall in love with cars and driving. I'm sure that there is still joy to be had from driving, when you drive for the right reasons.

For example, Some people are interested in the speed and the thrill, some people like the sound and the vibrations.
For me, when I drive a car, what I look for is that seamless connect between me and my car (especially in a manual) - feeling the car & shifting those gears at exactly the right points to make the car go so smoother that a TC
automatic.

I'm sure that you will find something to rekindle the love for driving.

[ashish.uno]

You have driven far more than many of us here and lived to survive the tale. So I shall rather not be presumptuous and offer you driving advice.

However, as someone who has also done his fair bit of driving I learned two things quickly.

1. Don't be overambitious while driving.
2. Cruise leisurely


If you are seeing more than usual share of close shaves, making minor adjustments to your driving style could be helpful.
For example, a couple of overtakes not taken or delayed, or letting some one pass and not minding it awfully will be easier on the mind and reduce the risks (comes under point 1)

Similarly sticking to high two digits speeds rather than low three digits and driving in the middle of the road rather than hugging the divider shall also dramatically reduce the risks.

In the end, it's all about the mind. If driving becomes stressful, it's better to give it a break and see if that worked out for you.

That pause might take the stress away from driving and make it more enjoyable.
Anyway whichever way you turn, keep us posted.

[PrasannaDhana]

I have my drivers but prefer driving by myself. I have driven a minimum of 2 lakh km in the last 5 years, in varied road and traffic conditions on all kind of cars (small hatchbacks, sedans and big SUVs). Half of it on highways, rest between rural roads and urban conditions.

I can relate to your feelings. Though I haven't had a single accident in my 15 years of driving, I sure do have a few irritating close calls every month, and I have posted them in the bad drivers thread regularly.

Dogs, kids, goats, cows, men, women, branches of trees and what not! You always have to be alert and at times it drains us.

But I have also noticed, the cure is also in driving. If we think about it, we overstress on the 20% of the bad stuff while conveniently ignoring the blissful 80%(or atleast 40%) of the driving experience.

I have tried being a passenger on my bigger cars while the drivers drive it. I end up getting more stressed with their judgemental errors/ driving habits (lugging the engine, unnecessary braking etc).

Just keep driving, have a dash cam installed, have a nice sweet music player and relax while at it.

[GKMahajan]

Dear carnutfrombanga,

GTO and others have said all the right things.

I have many experiences but would prefer not to share them at this time.

I always recovered from all experiences and became a better driver.

Let me share something which my father had told me some time around 1976-77 when I was learning to ride a cycle.

He told me that I was sure to crash. He told me that the first thing I should do is to climb back on the cycle and ride at least a minute or so. THEN - check the damage to self and cycle! He explained that the 'fear' and 'trauma' of the crash has to be overcome immediately or it will never go! Please do not misunderstand - do not use the same logic for a car that you are driving. Understand the concept.

Of course, I crashed the cycle - many times. Even suffered a jaw dislocation! Anyway, that is a different story!

Another thing which he told me - there are three stages of driving.

In stage ONE - you are learning, you don't know how to drive properly, you know it and you drive very carefully. Chance of accident is very low.

In stage THREE - you have learnt driving well, you know how to drive properly, you know it and you drive very carefully. Chance of accident is very low.

The interesting stage is stage TWO - you can drive, you don't really drive properly, you think you know it and you drive carelessly. Chance of accident is high.

For each person, the stage TWO can come at different time frames, can stay for different time duration. However, the most important part is to reach stage THREE!

Which translates to - keep learning - keep driving - repeat!

After all the expert comments, my comments are just two cents. I hope they encourage you in the right way.

To quote Robert Frost - 'The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But, I have promises to keep, I have promises to keep'.

You must continue the journey - preferably in the driver's seat!

Best of luck!

Girish Mahajan

[sharninder]

I've been driving for over 20 years but have been more and more disinterested in the driving part over the last few years. I still do it because its a necessity and because I don't trust anyone else driving me around.
My solution to the craziness of Indian roads is to just drive slow. I'd rather be 30 minutes late than be a statistic in some govt book.

[Lobogris]

I would take a contrarian and hugely unpopular view. I love driving and have driven all over India and across the world. However, driving in India, for the most part, is a nightmare. India has the worst traffic scenario in the world. Lane discipline is unknown. There is no driver education. Most drivers don’t know how to go around a roundabout. Wrong side driving is so prevalent that it is considered normal now. Even for buses with passengers. Stray cattle on the roads has increases dramatically. Pedestrians crossing expressways, people stopping in traffic, unauthorized shops, unplanned roads where lanes can end or be blocked without any warning even on expressways. There was a window of opportunity to address this in the past two decades as the vehicles increased exponentially. Unfortunately we now have tens of millions of untrained drivers who are totally unaware and unconcerned about traffic rules. No government at the center or state level has taken this issue seriously. Yes, the new expressways have made driving easier but in a matter of few years they go downhill as people start stopping on them, parking trucks, illegal roadside stalls open, villagers start roaming around and driving on the wrong side and obviously there is no concept of lane discipline. The police are unconcerned and mostly unaware of the rules themselves.

So yes, much as I love driving, I would readily admit that it is a daunting and fearful experience. Of course there are stretches that are pleasant, there are vistas that are incredible but the overall journey is not streamlined at all. So I wouldn’t blame a person wanting to quit driving in India at all.

[devsoftech]

Every accident is a setback, and is a learning experience. It makes us wiser and sets the right expectations. Some might be unfortunate to not live beyond that incident.
In my past 14+ years of driving cars, the notable ones are:
1. 2006 - Rear ended a Hyundai Santro (senior executive of MTR) with my ALTO. Minor paint damages. I was a new driver. I called the owner after reaching office and he decided to pardon my mistake. This incident made me wiser, gave me the courage to own mistakes, be respectful and truthful.
2. 2007 - Rubbed sideways with a Swift on my Zen. It was blind spot for one of us and we both looked at each other, exchanged gestures that the other person is probably missing eyes and continued driving to work. Very minor scratches on fender. Was heartbroken for few days, but I graduated to be a better driver to expect sudden merges or cars coming out of no where.
3. 2012 - Rear ended an auto-rickshaw with my SX4. Passenger in the auto received whiplash shocks from the accident, but she was very supportive. It was my mistake partly for lack of concentration, and the auto did not have functional brake-lamps at the rear. After this incident I developed 6th Sense and started reading deceleration of leading vehicles much better and practices a safe following distance.
4. 2012 - A scooter crashed at 90 degrees with my SX4 when I was merging to service road. The scooter rider had some injuries on his leg. (He had some skin loss). He was a daily wage worker and not having license or wearing any helmet. Car’s front bumper was intact though there was a hole. Total damages 15000 rupees to treat the poor guy, scooter and my car. Scooter guy was at fault. I learned a big lesson. If possible, double or triple check before merging. Some vehicles show up out of no where. I was quick to take the scooter guy to hospital. This was the first incident when I had to face a large public gathering. Almost everyone was a witness and to my surprise everyone was supporting me. Reinforced my belief in humans and that bigger vehicles are not always assumed to be at fault.
5. 2014 - I had plans for relocation and had to drop off my CIVIC at my native. Crashed against a dog while driving my CIVIC at 100+ kmph on golden quadrilateral (AP zone). I was obviously over-speeding and then a dog suddenly starts crossing the highway. This was a last second discovery as peripheral vision was restricted on the curving road. My body froze and I had enough time to feel sorry to the poor thing before hitting it, but I could not absolutely avoid this. I did not even have time to brake even though I had time to imagine it getting hit. The poor dog lost its life. I had pulled over after some distance to assess the damages. My front bumper had loosened up and cracked, which was fixed using nylon tie-cables. This was the most horrible experience. After this incident I anyways relocated but have not stopped driving. I had my share of chickens, pigs crossing the road but everytime speed was under control. Some of the accidents had limited consequences because speed was very less. And some taught me a lesson. Each accident, if we survive, makes us more experienced - and to share this with the world. Distraction, prediction on the road and lack of peripheral awareness was the key to all of my experiences.

Yeah, but I won't give up driving. These learnings should not go to waste. In fact I'd be adding one better driver by being on the road. With experience, we also make roads safer for others.

[QuadraticAmoeba]

Dear carnutfrombanga, when I saw your thread title, I was like "hey, this thinking about quitting happened to me too!", although for different reasons. Let me share my experience, which has some similarities and some differences with yours.

I started driving about 20 years or so ago. I bought my first car (a Hyundai Accent GLS) and loved driving it for about 5 years or so. I only used to commute to work and back, but there was little traffic in Bangalore back then and it was great. I really enjoyed driving. Note that my company did provide transport, so I only used the car occasionally (it was a 50km round trip commute). Then I swapped to a Maruti Swift ZXi and enjoyed it also for a few years.

Until this point, I didn't do any long trips on the car at all. I'm not even sure I took any vacations either, I am not that fond of travelling.

After 5-6 years, I joined a tiny start-up. At that time, there was no company transport, so I had to commute by car every day. It was a 60km 3-4hr daily round-trip and in the (by then) terrible Bangalore traffic. The slog killed any enthusiasm for driving that I had. After 2 years, I joined a bigger company and this time used the company transport and public transport exclusively. Car became a "use only when needed" thing, mostly on the weekends. I guess I developed some resistance towards driving itself.

A few years later, I moved closer to the office. Now I was only 12km away (instead of 30km), there was no public transport option (unless I wanted to change 3 busses) and I still didn't like to drive. Luckily, Uber came to the rescue. For a couple of years, I managed with Uber and choosing to come early and go early to beat traffic.

I didn't really enjoy the Uber experience for two reasons. One: you are at the mercy of an unreliable group of drivers. Two: I have a desk job and back pain. Somehow, I developed a tailbone injury and boy, was it painful. The low slung Indicas that I normally travelled in became painful to even sit in for 30 min. Then it struck me - if I was avoiding traffic by going early and coming back early, I might as well drive? My Swift was better, but still hurt while driving after some time. I bought an orthopaedic pillow ("bum pillow") and this improved the situation.

I wanted to try driving more, so I decided to get a new car with a better (higher) seat. Then I started to read more of T-BHP and it kind of re-kindled my love of driving. Just as I almost bought a Kia Seltos, the Covid-19 pandemic struck. I was in lockdown, with everyone else. With less stress on my spine and some weight loss, my tailbone injury disappeared. With lots of reading and vicarious travelling (the travelogue section in T-BHP is my favourite), I decided to drive more. My wife decided to learn driving as well.

We bought a new car a couple of months back and started driving. Thanks to the pandemic, there was less traffic and no office commute (I'm still WFH). Every week, my wife and I go out 50-100km just to drink a coffee or eat a masala dosa (or even just eat home food - my parents' home is a 50km round trip). We really enjoy the longer distance drives, esp. early in the morning. The highways near Bangalore all pretty decent and smooth. Sometimes, more family joins in and we all have a blast.

I'm not sure if I will drive to work full time once I resume working from office (my wife has claimed the car, so I guess I am going back to Uber), but I have clearly rediscovered my love for driving. It just took a change in focus (and an equally excited partner-in-crime).

As far as your fear of accidents goes, I can only say this: I am a safe driver. I drive carefully, cautiously and defensively. I believe this protects me from most accidents. On top of this, if it really is my fate to suffer an accident outside of my control - then, oh well, stuff happens in life and I will deal with it. This does not stop me from enjoying the things that I enjoy.

I hope this helps you - if you really enjoyed driving, don't give up.

[DhruvGupt@]

Quitting is definitely not the solution. The incidence seems to have impacted you deeply but time is a great healer.
Indian road conditions and safety have come a long way but a lot more needs to be done. First and foremost is the responsible driving.
If you quit driving and hire a driver, it will not guarantee your safety. Driver can also make a mistake, after all he is also a human being.
I have had been through such an incident myself, on the Jaipur Delhi highway, it was dark and I was driving around 90 when suddenly i spotted a cow in the middle of the highway and it was too close. Luck favoured and I was able to manoeuvre and saved the day.
Careful driving needs to be practised by all and when ever possible drive during the day time.
What needs to be drastically changed is the way the driving licenses are approved. Recently I moved to Canada, and it was a huge task to get a driving license here. The rules are too strict and instructor takes a good 20 minutes road test and check various parameters minutely before approving a license.
Hope you clock another 115000 on the car safely...

[neerajsharma48]

Dear Friend

Please take some time off and re-examine your approach to life.

The only time life is without pain, worry, hazards, fears is after it ends. In the time the Almighty has given us on this earth, we must follow our calling, within bounds of reason and prudence.

Life , health, fate and luck deal out surprises, joys and sorrows as fell as excitement and fear to everyone. it is our calling to deal with them and strive for satisfaction, duty and the pursuit of happiness.

While the path of caution is wise, Please do not let it limit your life. If you give up driving, would you give up going on roads as well? Are you willing to hand over your safety to cab drivers ?

Like most members have suggested, please get a car with highest safety rating, drive at reasonable speeds with adequate caution and avoid driving in conditions like heavy rains, fog, unlit roads at night and any other circumstances which heighten risk.

Driving on highways is one of the few pleasures which are not illegal or harmful to health.
Riding cycling, sailing and flying are activities which permit you to express yourself in a manner of speaking, and give one satisfaction both at conscious and subconscious levels. Please reconsider your intent to stop driving.

Of course, you have to decide for yourself.

[MDED]

My cousin who was around 22 year old then, had a major two wheeler accident. My sister had asked him to drop her to a nearby suburban train station and he having returned from the night shift was not completely awake at 7:30 AM in the morning. They started their ride and after travelling for merely 1 km, somewhere near Velachery Railway Station road they were hit by a speeding car.

Sister had scratches on her cheeks and no major issues, cousin had major issue as the right leg bone had cut into two pieces. You can imagine the pain he had to undergo. I was not in town and had asked one of my friend to tend to the injured. Cousin had to undergo surgery for installation of a steel rod in his right leg. After few months also the pain had not subsided, then again he chose to go under the knife, this time at a better facility at MIOT Hospital in Chennai. We advised him against riding in the future, but the fighter which he is, immediately once the doctors gave a green signal, he bought 2nd generation Hero Extreme and till date has done around 80,000 kms on the same.

It was his indomitable spirit to fight the trauma and ride again and rest as they say is history.

So, my dear friend, you may have issue with the traffic, the highways, the roads, the system and what not, but driving is one such fun, phenomenon and a fantastic thing given by the God, that one should not shy away from.

As others have mentioned, I am looking forward to a travelogue from you very soon!

Stay safe, bank safe and ride safe!

[vishwasvr]

This is just a part of life. We don't intend to hurt/kill/maim/harm another living being. But we do anyway. We cull plenty of poultry, dairy animals etc for our food (I don't intend to trigger vegan-non vegan debate here ) so you're not guilty of anything. It was just a bad day for you that you hit a dog.

Maybe set up a trust or a fund for helping injured animals ( in this case, a dog) to make up for it. I know it won't bring that dog back to life, but at least you don't feel miserable about it. I once ran over a squirrel on a ride to Leh and I felt terrible. But, yeah. Life goes on. You don't have to be so hard on yourself.

[rdst_1]

I would love to quit driving if I could. In a decade of driving, I have only had one accident when someone ran a couple of bulls across the road and I ended up ramming my A-star into 2 of them. I would probably have died but fortunately enough, I hit both of them with the 2 front fenders of the car i.e. I went through them without coming to a dead stop and also not causing much damage to the car. Apart from this I haven't had even close calls. Even before this incident, I had been a sedate driver, but now I have become even more vigilant and sedate. Getting most of my learning watching my father drive in the hills already gave me a good education on how to drive defensively.
But I don't really like driving due to the condition of our roads as well as having to deal with morons on the road. In fact, one of the reasons making me decide to move to the mountains and become a farmer was because I was getting into many road rage cases in what was comparatively a less congested city like Chandigarh. Moving didn't allow me to get rid of the morons as the local drivers in Himachal have their own idiosyncrasies but it did allow me to lower my driving needs. As and when I can afford, I would definitely love to move to the back seat of a car capable of handling our bad roads. Till then, travelling and driving are going to be at the bottom of my priority list.