Team-BHP - The Official Joke thread

- - The Official Joke thread (https://www.team-bhp.com/forum/et-cetera/2439-official-joke-thread-364.html)

Quote:

Originally Posted by amitoj (Post 2549701)

LOL. More interestingly, it'll be amusing for the people around me to see me blinking like that at the wall or roof lol:

you didn't do that when you were in a meeting, did ya? :D

Why are 90% of all Skodas still on the road?
Because the other 10% actually made it home

Being married is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scorcher (Post 2548884)

(No offense intended to any fehpians)

I find this part the funniest. Seriously? Why do people write "no offense intended" after writing the most offensive things in the first place.

If it really bothers you, can't you just beg for forgivenesslol:

Lady to dentist: Its so painful. Better to get pregnant than get a filling.

Doctor to lady: Decide what you want and I will adjust the chair accordingly!:D

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Government says educate a girl and she will educate 4 people in a home. But, what about those 50 odd boys who fail while she is in college?:p

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samurai (Post 2549330)

No need to speculate, here is how it happened

Thanks mate, never knew such a thing happened :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by vivekiny2k (Post 2549872)

I find this part the funniest. Seriously? Why do people write "no offense intended" after writing the most offensive things in the first place.

The second line was for ones who really lacked in sense of humor.

Today's i.e 18.10.2011 indian express page 2 says " bursting of crackers is prohibited in the PUBIC area between 10 pm and 6 am. [/b] by the order of HIGH COURT OF KARNATAKA.:D

BOSS to an employee: "Do you believe in life after Death?"

EMPLOYEE: "Certainly not! There's no proof of it", he replied.

BOSS: "Well, there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle's funeral, he came here looking for you."

________________________________________________
Que: Why Do We See
"Maa Ki Dua"
Written On Trucks n Buses..??

Because

Mercedez, Hondas, CIVICs n C0R0LLAs Are Usually The Result 0F
"Baap Ka Paisa" ;-)

________________________________________________

Quote:

Originally Posted by IronH4WK (Post 2549755)

you didn't do that when you were in a meeting, did ya? :D

In a meeting it would have been ok. They would have just thought that i am trying real hard to stay awake!

husband: I have
been waiting for this day.
wife: Do u want me to leave??
husband: NO!!!!
wife: Do u love me?
husband: Of Course
wife: Will u ever cheat on me??
husband: Never in my life
wife: Will u ever kiss me?
husband: Every chance i get
wife: Will u hit me??
husband: Are u crazy..!
wife: Can i trust u??
husband: Yes..!!
wife: Sweet Heart..!
-After Marriage-
(now read from bottom to
top):uncontrol

Quote:

Originally Posted by rags (Post 2549991)

Today's i.e 18.10.2011 indian express page 2 says " bursting of crackers is prohibited in the PUBIC area between 10 pm and 6 am. [/b] by the order of HIGH COURT OF KARNATAKA.:D

I dont need a court order for that. I will not be bursting any crackers there even after those timings!!