[vivekiny2k]

this is funny.
http://www.break.com/index/verycutebabies.html

[nishant_kingpin]

Go to the link below :

1. click link

2. insert coin

3. choose type of drink

4. click on cup after it's full

5. click on word APRI




http://www.cartoline.it/pics/_zoom_f...erzi_150404_01

[karthik247]

Dunno if this shuld be here but still....

Here are 55 replies u get from girls,
when you propose her...

1) Nahi!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2) Chiiiii.....Kitne gande vichar hain tumhare.......

3) Maine tumhe sirf ek acche dost ki nazar se dekha hai ....

4) Mera pehle se ek boyfrnd hai....

5 ) Main in baton pe vishwas nahi karti, apne padhai pe dhyaan lagao...

6) tum abhi tak mujhe jaante kahan ho ?Yeh shayad infatuation hai....

7) Tumhara bank balance kitna hai.??

8) Magar last year to maine tumhe raakhi baandhi thi ..hai naa..bhaiyya..??

9) Mein abhi is relation ke liye mentally prepared nahi hoo....

10) Mein apne dady se pooch ke tumhe kaal answer karu.??

11) Itni si baat kehne ke liye itni der lagaa di??

12) Ye donon ke dil me hai na, to phir kya kehna!!

13) Sorry

14) "..Apna chehra kabhi aayine me dekha hai... L..........."

15) "Main toh tumhe apna Bhai maanati hu"

16) "Yes .. I too like you . (but hope you don't cheat on me ) " . (Which we
guys most oftenly do )

17) Phele kyon nahi bataya ab tum late ho gaye ..

18) Tum agar pehle mile hote to sochti.

19) Tumhari himmat kaise hui mere baare mein aisa sochne ki. (probably
followed by a slap)

20) Gi mujhe sochna ka wakt do.
Guy: kitna wakt???(with hope)
Gi saat janam


21) Mai ek shaadi shuda ladki hu ;-)

22) Mein tumhare chotte bhai se pyaar karti hoon.

23) Now that's a real tragedy..
Gi Hee hee ..hee hee hee...hee ..hee..hee..
Hee hee ..hee hee hee...hee ..hee..hee..

24) Boy: I love U!
Gal: I don't think abt all this before marriage.

25) Keep loving I don't care.

26) Tum mere liye kya kar sakte ho.

27) Kaun sa number hai mera tumhare proposals ki history mein.
Ha ha ha ha..

28) tumhe is nazar se kabhi dekha nahi

29) tumhare barre mein kabhi aisa socha nahi

30) mummy se pooch kar bataungi

31) mere bhaiyya se baat kar lo , who hi tumhe samajhayenge

32) Knyo, Tina ne "No" bola?

33) Lekin tum to Mina ke piche pade the, Kya usne thappad mara?

34) Kitne time ke liye -???

35) Worst one-- Jo bhi bolna hai jaldi bolo mera beta school se aata hoga..

36) Thanks. I love you, too.

37) Boy :- Sonya, I love U...
Gal :- Sorry , Next 3 Months tak Waiting List chal rahi hai..

38) "What?"

39) "Let's just stay away from this"

40)

41)

44) My friend in college got one classic reply . "I THINK I'M ENGAGED"

45) "I think, I will have better options in future ..."
Mujhe tumse is baare mein koi baat nahi karni, then she starts ignoring,
phir bhi nahi
sudhare then she threatens via some common friends.

46) My Boy friend is very short Tempered. Beware of it.

47) like you as a friend but I never thought about us like this.cant we be
just good friends for ever

47) Actually my younger sis likes you a lot. ..

48) My mummy does not like your family (if the family knows each other.) ..

49) "Why me?..Tumne mere meih essa kya dekha?..."she wants you to list down
all the Good qualities that you even might have not seen in her. ...

50) SLAP !! ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS....it is said ..

51)hehe I didnt expect that from you....

52)nice joke ...

53)tu ladke kuchh or nahi soch sakte jaha ladki dekhi fisl gaye.....

54)achha tum bhi meine socha sirf harsh,nikhil,ravi, etc etc ko hi mujhme
interest hai
and then walks on.............

55)tumhe to purpose karna bhi nahi aata paheli bari hai kya koyi baat nahi
mein batati hun...

[Maverick5490]

[quote=nishant_kingpin]After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripesheet,"
which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics
correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots
review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it besaid that
ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots
(marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S)by
maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that
has never had an accident. ... Enjoy!

By far the beat one i have ever read..

[revtech]

Martin wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open
his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a
glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing
in front of him, all clean and pressed.

Martin looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,
spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and
notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left
early to go shopping. Love You!"

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast
and
the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Martin
asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke
some furn! iture, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into
the door." Confused, Martin asks, "So, why is everything in order and so
clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a
big quarrel with her!"

His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when
she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, "Lady leave me
alone!
I'm married!"

Moral
Self-induced hangover -- $100.00

Broken furniture -- $2,000.00

Breakfast -- $10.00

Saying The Right Thing While Drunk - PRICELESS


Rev

[vinod]

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like
yours!!

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share!!!

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!!!

HE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!

HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
SHE: Yes, thats why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down .

[nishant_kingpin]

Note from Mod

Please do not quote entire joke and give a meaningless reply. It clutters the board.If you must, PM the person who posted the joke. If you have a meaningful, witty reply...no problem!

[AvinashKeezh]

A lady manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office.

"What is your name?" was the first thing she asked the new guy.

"John," the new guy replied.

She scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority.

I refer to my employees by their last name only ... Smith, Jones, Baker ... that's all.

I am to be referred to only as Mrs. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"

The new guy sighed, "Darling............ My name is John Darling."

"Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is . . . "

[John]

- You think the primary purpose of wings is to preventflight.

- You feel compelled on a road trip to beat your previous best time.

- When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.

- You change engine oil every other week.

- You sometimes hear little noises from your passengers when you get on the throttle right after turning in.

-Your email address refers to your favourite car rather than to you.

- You walk proper lines through the grocery store.

- You've paid Rs.70.00 a litre for gas without complaining.

- You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and the neighbors are threatening violence if you park one more vehicle on the street

- You know the "racing line" of every turn in your daily commute, including your alternate routes, and practice hitting them every day.

- You quote your street tire wear life in weeks rather than miles.

- You regularly live test your rev limiter on that straight that's a little too long for 2nd but not worth going into 3rd for.

- You've started looking for sponsors for your daily commute.

- You slalom through potholes

- After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on your vacation she answers: "Why... is there a race there?"

[nishant_kingpin]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either........

[adya33]

Checkout this call centre movie
Its hillarious
http://callcentermovie.com/movie/F8MedKf150.swf
pretty big file so might take some time to load






PS No offence to any member working in call centre

[adarshbr]

Ha ha ha , I seriously thought you were referring to a remote security system.

[Godfather]

man where do you get all this from..hilarious

[revtech]

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old
pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence.

One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and
sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing
the nuts.

"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me,"
said one boy. Several dropped and rolled down toward
the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle.
As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside
the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure
enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike
and rode off.

Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane,
hobbling along.


"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe
what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the
cemetery ! dividing up the souls."

The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard
for me to walk." When the boy insisted though, the man
hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one
for me. One for you, one for me..."

The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me
the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord."

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet
were still unable to see anything. The old man and
the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence
tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of
the Lord.

At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's
all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and
we'll be done."

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5
minutes ahead of the kid on the bike.


Rev

[karthik247]

Doctor : I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.
Mr.Bean: Yesss!!! (jumps in joy)
Doctor : Did you understand what I just told you?
Mr.Bean: Yes of course, do you think I'm dumb?
Doctor : Then why are you so happy?
Mr.Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!
****
Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?
Mr. Bean: 9
Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?
Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!
****
Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet yet!!
****
Friend: What are you looking at?
Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.
Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?
Mr. Bean: four asterisks!
****
Friend: how many women do you believe must a man marry?
Mr. Bean: 16
Friend: Why?
Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4 worse.
****
Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, is it Ok?
Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I didn't see any picture.
Friend: What tape did you took anyway?
Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.
****
Mr. Bean: (crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead.
Friend: condolence, my friend.
After 2 minutes Mr. Bean cries even louder.
Friend: what now?
Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!
****
Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean: Thats alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.
****
Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful... is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure